EWI (Kinda? OT)
I just saw on the news that Google is now (or soon) offering a
sobriety test so you don't send out drunk emails.
Oh My, Maybe Google should go to Alanon... :codiepolice
Mail Goggles: Google unveils booze-proof email | The Ridiculant
Google rolls out Mail Goggles - Wichita Business Journal:
sobriety test so you don't send out drunk emails.
Oh My, Maybe Google should go to Alanon... :codiepolice
Mail Goggles: Google unveils booze-proof email | The Ridiculant
Google rolls out Mail Goggles - Wichita Business Journal:
The Gal In The Glass
The Gal In The Glass
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you queen for a day
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT gal has to say.
For it isn't your husband or family or friend
Who judgment upon you must pass;
The gal whose verdict counts most in the end
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a person of place
But the gal in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look her straight in the face.
She's the gal to please, never mind all the rest
For she's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the gal in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the gal in the glass.
~unknown
When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you queen for a day
Just go to a mirror and look at yourself,
And see what THAT gal has to say.
For it isn't your husband or family or friend
Who judgment upon you must pass;
The gal whose verdict counts most in the end
Is the one staring back from the glass.
Some people may think you a straight-shootin' chum
And call you a person of place
But the gal in the glass says you're only a bum
If you can't look her straight in the face.
She's the gal to please, never mind all the rest
For she's with you clear up to the end,
And you've passed your most dangerous, difficult test
If the gal in the glass is your friend.
You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass,
But your final reward will be heartaches and tears
If you've cheated the gal in the glass.
~unknown
Hopeful
I'm so glad I found this site and I'm hopeful that here I can finally find the support I need to regain control of my life. I've been using alcohol as a crutch for far too long now, I'm not in denial about that. But up until the last few months (and especially the last week and a half) it hasn't crippled my life. Depression, overwhelming stress, guilt & worry have led me to lean on my crutch more and more. I'm not ready cry on anyone's shoulder and tell my FULL story just yet but after reading some of your stories, I'm hoping that soon I'll feel comfortable enough to do so. But because writing is an outlet for my stress, I'm going to share part of my story...
A couple of years ago, my sister came to my house and found me drunk and crying, depressed over an argument with my husband about our individual and collective stresses as a family just moments before... she insisted on taking me to an AA meeting and I was at the point where I knew I needed SOME kind of help so I agreed. I've never felt so uncomfortable and out of place in my life! I honestly felt GUILTY for being there, hearing stories from people who had lost their spouses, children, friends, homes and jobs over their alcoholism. Tales of waking up in a gutter after a week-long binge, not knowing how they got there, brought me to tears. Tales of being strapped to a gurney in DT's, brought me to tears. I didn't judge them but how could I possibly tell my tale to these people who needed MY support WAY more than I needed theirs? It's in my nature to want to help people in need so much so that I tend to neglect myself and my needs... especially when they pale in comparison and I KNOW I should just count my blessings and pull myself up by the bootstraps and get my act together! *sigh*
The last couple of weeks, I have been MAJORLY stressed and I know exactly why but I'm so overwhelmed, I don't have a clue where to begin unravelling this mess... so I've leaned on alcohol more than ever to just numb the pain and try to escape. Of course, that doesn't work but it's an all too comfortably temporary fix... *peh* Neglect of MYSELF has become glaringly apparent to my family (and myself, too)... to the point that my sister came here last night, took my children home with her (with my agreement -- I needed a break and so did they). Today she made phone calls, suggested a "plan" would send me away from my home, husband, children and job for 16 weeks. An hour later, my daughter called me crying to come home... so she's coming home tomorrow, right after school! My son is having too much fun with my brother-in-law, so I'm going to let him stay there for the time being...
I'm aware that I have problems that need my sober attention, and that I have been abusing alcohol instead of taking care of myself, focusing on a plan of action and leaning on someone else's shoulder when I'm stressed... but I honestly don't think 16 weeks away from my family is going to cure my problems... if anything, I think they will make them worse.
Maybe I'm in denial about the extent of my alcohol abuse and if that's the case, I'll check myself into rehab. But for right now, I think that if I can find support from some non-judgemental people who can help me get off this crutch and find strength to walk on my own two feet again, I can get back on track before it's too late. And if I'm lucky enough to find that, I will make it my goal to return the favor.
Thank you for giving me a place to vent.
:ghug
A couple of years ago, my sister came to my house and found me drunk and crying, depressed over an argument with my husband about our individual and collective stresses as a family just moments before... she insisted on taking me to an AA meeting and I was at the point where I knew I needed SOME kind of help so I agreed. I've never felt so uncomfortable and out of place in my life! I honestly felt GUILTY for being there, hearing stories from people who had lost their spouses, children, friends, homes and jobs over their alcoholism. Tales of waking up in a gutter after a week-long binge, not knowing how they got there, brought me to tears. Tales of being strapped to a gurney in DT's, brought me to tears. I didn't judge them but how could I possibly tell my tale to these people who needed MY support WAY more than I needed theirs? It's in my nature to want to help people in need so much so that I tend to neglect myself and my needs... especially when they pale in comparison and I KNOW I should just count my blessings and pull myself up by the bootstraps and get my act together! *sigh*
The last couple of weeks, I have been MAJORLY stressed and I know exactly why but I'm so overwhelmed, I don't have a clue where to begin unravelling this mess... so I've leaned on alcohol more than ever to just numb the pain and try to escape. Of course, that doesn't work but it's an all too comfortably temporary fix... *peh* Neglect of MYSELF has become glaringly apparent to my family (and myself, too)... to the point that my sister came here last night, took my children home with her (with my agreement -- I needed a break and so did they). Today she made phone calls, suggested a "plan" would send me away from my home, husband, children and job for 16 weeks. An hour later, my daughter called me crying to come home... so she's coming home tomorrow, right after school! My son is having too much fun with my brother-in-law, so I'm going to let him stay there for the time being...
I'm aware that I have problems that need my sober attention, and that I have been abusing alcohol instead of taking care of myself, focusing on a plan of action and leaning on someone else's shoulder when I'm stressed... but I honestly don't think 16 weeks away from my family is going to cure my problems... if anything, I think they will make them worse.
Maybe I'm in denial about the extent of my alcohol abuse and if that's the case, I'll check myself into rehab. But for right now, I think that if I can find support from some non-judgemental people who can help me get off this crutch and find strength to walk on my own two feet again, I can get back on track before it's too late. And if I'm lucky enough to find that, I will make it my goal to return the favor.
Thank you for giving me a place to vent.
:ghug
How can I support my boyfriend in recovery?
My boyfriend of almost 3 years is in recovery. He is/was a marijuana addict as well as a tobacco addict which is still hasn't given up. He has been sober for 1 month at this point. This has been a very difficult time for me as his partner. He has told me that he feels like he's been "a shell of a man" for his entire adult life. Numbing any and all of his feelings with marijuana. Now, it is as if he feels like he has to make up for lost time. Where he used to keep his feelings at bay by smoking pot, he now voices every one that comes into his head. Most of them being negative. And a lot of them, issues he has with me. Suddenly, he no longer loves me like he used to. He told me in the past that he wants to get married to me. He has now communicated that this is no longer the truth. This is all a huge shock for me. I was unaware that him and I had such major relationship problems. I was also unaware of how much and how often he was smoking. I knew he smoked somewhat regularly, but it never really bothered me. Now, it's as if my entire world has been turned upside down. I am happy that he quit but sad in the same respect. He is no longer the sweet, selfless person that I fell in love with. I want to help him and I want to be there for him. He just makes it really hard. He has so much anger now. We are seeing a therapist together. She tells me that I am supposed to try and not take the things he says to me personally. I really don't know how to do that. I am miserable. Can anyone offer me some words of advice. I am new to this forum.
Thanks,
Lindsay
Thanks,
Lindsay
Tonight, I am grateful.
Tonight, I am grateful for:
1) Not waking up today in pain.
2) Not throwing up this morning.
3) Enjoying some fresh air today.
4) Not feeling like throwing up at work in the afternoon.
5) Going to a small meeting with a friend, chairing the meeting, and enjoying it.
6) Having a good book to read before I go to sleep.
7) And about a million other things.
Dave.
1) Not waking up today in pain.
2) Not throwing up this morning.
3) Enjoying some fresh air today.
4) Not feeling like throwing up at work in the afternoon.
5) Going to a small meeting with a friend, chairing the meeting, and enjoying it.
6) Having a good book to read before I go to sleep.
7) And about a million other things.
Dave.
Day two
Back at the starting line again. I am only closing in on day 2 of sobriety. Started my new anti depressant today but was crying and depressed again... I hope this all stops soon. It's getting so hard to see a good future for myself. I went to a great meeting last night but loneliness is always just chasing at my heels. I pray these meds work. I don't like myself too much at the moment. Thanks for listening.:thanks:
Does anyone know how detox works?
Sorry, i'm new to these forums. Was just curious as to how detox works, as i doubt i can quit drinking on my own, thanks for any info.
What I didnt understand at my First Al-Anon Meeting
By Angela L. , Washington
I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting after my boyfriend had his first relapse. Tears that hadnt stopped in days were running down my face. I wasnt wearing makeup and my hair was tied back just to keep it out of my face. I brought my boyfriends Sponsor with me, a longtimer who had more than 20 years of sobriety under his belt. He was the only person I could think of to call for help; he showed me Al-Anon.
I remember walking into the room knowing that these people were going to tell me what I needed to do to help my alcoholic boyfriend get back on track. I shared what had happened: he picked up drinking again after being sober for two and a half years and was now in jail. I waited for someone, anyone, to tell me their secret since they all were either nodding their heads or smiling. One lady turned to me and said, Keep Coming Back.: Another person said, Welcome.
What was going on? Why wouldnt they tell me what to do? I sat there crying even harder. My boyfriends Sponsor didnt say anything; he just patted my back as I was doubled over in pain and confusion. Why were these people not telling me how to fix the problem? Couldnt they see my pain? Didnt anyone care?
I got angry. I stood up and proceeded to let everyone know that I thought they were mean and hateful for keeping their little secret to themselves, apparently thinking I wasnt worth knowing it. Once I had given everyone in the room a piece of my mind, including my boyfriends Sponsor, I stormed out determined to fix my alcoholic boyfriend without their help.
I spent the next four years going to open A.A. meetings, learning the Steps and reading everything I could about alcoholism and addiction. I talked to men and women in recovery and listened to their stories. I became somewhat of an expert on this horrible, destructive disease that was eating up my soul.
During this time two things happened. My boyfriend and I got married, and he had six more relapses.
By the time I came back to Al-Anon, I was so broken and empty- all I could do to go on was breathe. I was dead inside, and no one could see it. I had no hope, no joy, no feeling of self-worth. I was drained and tired. I had tried to fix the alcoholic only to destroy myself in the process.
I walked into my second Al-Anon meeting not so much with the hope of help but with the fear of not getting it. I walked in prepared to kill myself and had the means to do so. I didnt know what to expect, but I knew that I couldnt continue living in this pain anymore. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me that if A.A. works for them, Al-Anon could really work for me.
I didnt yell at anyone; I didnt double up in pain and confusion, I just sat there crying and listening. Some of it I could relate to, some I couldnt. Then I heard someone say that I didnt cause it, I cant cure it and I cant control it. All of a sudden this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It wasnt my fault! A very small glimmer of hope started to form in my mind, and I wanted more.
I went to that meeting wanting to rid my life of this agonizing feeling but left wanting to come back. Over the next several months I went to meetings every week, bought and read literature, talked with others, found a Sponsor, and got into service work.
In the beginning, words couldnt describe the pain I was in. Now words cant describe the peace Im in. My worst day in Al-Anon far outweighs my best day without it. Today, I understand serenity. I appreciate suggestions, and I have hope. Ive accepted the alcoholic for who he is because now I know who I am.
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqts, Inc. Virginia Beach, VA.
I walked into my first Al-Anon meeting after my boyfriend had his first relapse. Tears that hadnt stopped in days were running down my face. I wasnt wearing makeup and my hair was tied back just to keep it out of my face. I brought my boyfriends Sponsor with me, a longtimer who had more than 20 years of sobriety under his belt. He was the only person I could think of to call for help; he showed me Al-Anon.
I remember walking into the room knowing that these people were going to tell me what I needed to do to help my alcoholic boyfriend get back on track. I shared what had happened: he picked up drinking again after being sober for two and a half years and was now in jail. I waited for someone, anyone, to tell me their secret since they all were either nodding their heads or smiling. One lady turned to me and said, Keep Coming Back.: Another person said, Welcome.
What was going on? Why wouldnt they tell me what to do? I sat there crying even harder. My boyfriends Sponsor didnt say anything; he just patted my back as I was doubled over in pain and confusion. Why were these people not telling me how to fix the problem? Couldnt they see my pain? Didnt anyone care?
I got angry. I stood up and proceeded to let everyone know that I thought they were mean and hateful for keeping their little secret to themselves, apparently thinking I wasnt worth knowing it. Once I had given everyone in the room a piece of my mind, including my boyfriends Sponsor, I stormed out determined to fix my alcoholic boyfriend without their help.
I spent the next four years going to open A.A. meetings, learning the Steps and reading everything I could about alcoholism and addiction. I talked to men and women in recovery and listened to their stories. I became somewhat of an expert on this horrible, destructive disease that was eating up my soul.
During this time two things happened. My boyfriend and I got married, and he had six more relapses.
By the time I came back to Al-Anon, I was so broken and empty- all I could do to go on was breathe. I was dead inside, and no one could see it. I had no hope, no joy, no feeling of self-worth. I was drained and tired. I had tried to fix the alcoholic only to destroy myself in the process.
I walked into my second Al-Anon meeting not so much with the hope of help but with the fear of not getting it. I walked in prepared to kill myself and had the means to do so. I didnt know what to expect, but I knew that I couldnt continue living in this pain anymore. Something in the back of my mind kept telling me that if A.A. works for them, Al-Anon could really work for me.
I didnt yell at anyone; I didnt double up in pain and confusion, I just sat there crying and listening. Some of it I could relate to, some I couldnt. Then I heard someone say that I didnt cause it, I cant cure it and I cant control it. All of a sudden this huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It wasnt my fault! A very small glimmer of hope started to form in my mind, and I wanted more.
I went to that meeting wanting to rid my life of this agonizing feeling but left wanting to come back. Over the next several months I went to meetings every week, bought and read literature, talked with others, found a Sponsor, and got into service work.
In the beginning, words couldnt describe the pain I was in. Now words cant describe the peace Im in. My worst day in Al-Anon far outweighs my best day without it. Today, I understand serenity. I appreciate suggestions, and I have hope. Ive accepted the alcoholic for who he is because now I know who I am.
Reprinted with permission of The Forum, Al-Anon Family Group Hdqts, Inc. Virginia Beach, VA.
ONE YEAR and Under Club
Yep, here it is. I'm on day 1 of the second half of my journey towards one year of sobriety. Please join me, I could use the company.
My Lovely Wife
As most everyone might initially feel, I can't believe I'm having to do this. But, I don't know what to do...
I found out about a month and a half ago that my wife is an alcoholic. We have been together for 14 years, and married for over 9. We have two beautiful young children.
After I first learned (after a trip to the hospital), she promised that it had just started and she learned her lesson. That the kids and I were too important to risk. I believed her and cancelled the appointment with the counselor. I thought things were ok. We had always been social drinkers, and I quit drinking all together to show solidarity.
Tonight when I came home from work, I could tell she was very intoxicated. I was floored. She denied it until I finally got it out of her. I did my best to protect the kids from seeing it. Telling them mommy didn't feel well and was going to bed.
During our conversation, she was of course completely irrational and said she wasn't crazy and would not go get help. She kept saying she didn't want to be here any more...I know exactly what she meant. She has never said such a thing. I am terrified for her safety and that of my children. I'm fairly certain she has driven with them while intoxicated.
Her mother was an alcoholic and died from cirrosis (sp?) of the liver several years ago. She too hid it very well from my wife's father. I had hoped that would be enough to keep her from becoming one. When her mother died, it tore her apart. Why can't she see that it will do the same to our children.
She is a stay at home mother, I am a business professional. We are both educated people, and know very well the dangers of alcohol. I always thought alcohol addiction was for the weak. Clearly, it truly is a disease.
I hope when she sobers up tomorrow she will agree to get help. I wrote her a letter explaining my fears and how I would love and support her no matter what. But, I have to protect my children. My job is very demanding and takes a lot of my time and energy. I'm not sure how I can keep and eye on her and pay the bills. Finances have been a huge strain the past couple of years. But, I'm confident we can get out from underneath of them. She says that is her issue that causes her to drink.
I could say a ton more, but I'm tired and have been crying all night.
Any show of support or ideas would be helpful.
Best,
formychildren
I found out about a month and a half ago that my wife is an alcoholic. We have been together for 14 years, and married for over 9. We have two beautiful young children.
After I first learned (after a trip to the hospital), she promised that it had just started and she learned her lesson. That the kids and I were too important to risk. I believed her and cancelled the appointment with the counselor. I thought things were ok. We had always been social drinkers, and I quit drinking all together to show solidarity.
Tonight when I came home from work, I could tell she was very intoxicated. I was floored. She denied it until I finally got it out of her. I did my best to protect the kids from seeing it. Telling them mommy didn't feel well and was going to bed.
During our conversation, she was of course completely irrational and said she wasn't crazy and would not go get help. She kept saying she didn't want to be here any more...I know exactly what she meant. She has never said such a thing. I am terrified for her safety and that of my children. I'm fairly certain she has driven with them while intoxicated.
Her mother was an alcoholic and died from cirrosis (sp?) of the liver several years ago. She too hid it very well from my wife's father. I had hoped that would be enough to keep her from becoming one. When her mother died, it tore her apart. Why can't she see that it will do the same to our children.
She is a stay at home mother, I am a business professional. We are both educated people, and know very well the dangers of alcohol. I always thought alcohol addiction was for the weak. Clearly, it truly is a disease.
I hope when she sobers up tomorrow she will agree to get help. I wrote her a letter explaining my fears and how I would love and support her no matter what. But, I have to protect my children. My job is very demanding and takes a lot of my time and energy. I'm not sure how I can keep and eye on her and pay the bills. Finances have been a huge strain the past couple of years. But, I'm confident we can get out from underneath of them. She says that is her issue that causes her to drink.
I could say a ton more, but I'm tired and have been crying all night.
Any show of support or ideas would be helpful.
Best,
formychildren
