Well it’s 2:40am and I can’t sleep…
I've had to let her go, for good this time. It's been little over a week and a half since I saw her, and then only briefly to drop off her gear. I've been coping fairly well I think. Well, until tonight anyway. I miss her terribly.
She had been sober since April with only one lapse (ok, so that means she hasn't technically been sober since April...) and was making great progress (albeit on her own.) I stopped going to Al-Anon meetings since the move in April.
In the space of the last 2 weeks she has lost everything on a binge with her mother (yes, her mother.) She's lost her job, her friends and a place to live...and she's lost me. But that's her thing.
Me, I've lost the girl that I love and it's killing me. This time is different though, because I know I'm not going back and that I'm moving on. I just hope she finds her recovery. I know she doesn't want that life anymore, but that addiction just keeps picking at her.
But to sum it all up, I'm trying my best to look after me first. Cause that's all I can do.
I'm new by the way - and I live in New Zealand.
She had been sober since April with only one lapse (ok, so that means she hasn't technically been sober since April...) and was making great progress (albeit on her own.) I stopped going to Al-Anon meetings since the move in April.
In the space of the last 2 weeks she has lost everything on a binge with her mother (yes, her mother.) She's lost her job, her friends and a place to live...and she's lost me. But that's her thing.
Me, I've lost the girl that I love and it's killing me. This time is different though, because I know I'm not going back and that I'm moving on. I just hope she finds her recovery. I know she doesn't want that life anymore, but that addiction just keeps picking at her.
But to sum it all up, I'm trying my best to look after me first. Cause that's all I can do.
I'm new by the way - and I live in New Zealand.
