self worth vs selfishness- where to draw the line?
This is a question I am really struggling with right now.
With my husband going through detox/rehab, whatever it is he is doing, and the new dilemna I have (i.e if he does work his program, do I go back to live with him or do we divorce?), I keep pondering what is the reason behind my huge reluctance to even consider reconciliation.
I find that this reluctance comes from fear: fear that I am not capable of starting anew, forgetting the past and the hurt, giving AH the chance to show me that things can be different when he is not active. Is it selfish of me to deny the children the chance of living in a "normal" stable family without even trying?
Or is it a legitimate attempt to put my self worth first for a change?
AH called me and said that we would have a joint session with his psychiatrist and now, I am not even happy about this because I feel that I have nothing positive to contribute to this: apart from explaining why I am not in a position right now to trust AH, and to explain that I need to work on my own recovery without facing the bull in the eyes straight now, what is there to say? I feel that I need to do this at my own pace, but is this selfish?
What are your thoughts on this selfish/selfworth matter?
With my husband going through detox/rehab, whatever it is he is doing, and the new dilemna I have (i.e if he does work his program, do I go back to live with him or do we divorce?), I keep pondering what is the reason behind my huge reluctance to even consider reconciliation.
I find that this reluctance comes from fear: fear that I am not capable of starting anew, forgetting the past and the hurt, giving AH the chance to show me that things can be different when he is not active. Is it selfish of me to deny the children the chance of living in a "normal" stable family without even trying?
Or is it a legitimate attempt to put my self worth first for a change?
AH called me and said that we would have a joint session with his psychiatrist and now, I am not even happy about this because I feel that I have nothing positive to contribute to this: apart from explaining why I am not in a position right now to trust AH, and to explain that I need to work on my own recovery without facing the bull in the eyes straight now, what is there to say? I feel that I need to do this at my own pace, but is this selfish?
What are your thoughts on this selfish/selfworth matter?
