Archive for August 19th, 2008
What brought you to seek recovery?
A recent thread left me with this thought on my mind.Â
I am wondering what has brought each of you to the place where you decided to try and find a way out of the mire that is alcoholism. Please feel free to share you thoughts and experience on the subject of what brought you to seek recovery.
For years I thought that what brought me to my knees was the realization that not only was my drinking slowly killing me but also it was destroying those that cared the most about me as well. Today I realize that it goes deeper than that. If I had to put it into one word that word would be "Hope". I had lost all hope that life could change, that I could change, that my world could change. I felt as though I was just going to continue with the whirl of water going down the toilet until my body finally succumed to this disease.
What renewed that hope was borne of desperation. I did not want to die but I had no idea how to live life and not feel completely insane without drinking.
What brought back hope for me was hearing the people in my first meeting of AA share their experience, strength, and hope. I finally was able to catch a glimpse of the idea that it might be possible for me to find some peace in my life since they seemed to have found it for themselves. There is a passage in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that truly describes how I felt when I finally reached out for help.
An old timer said that "Once we are pickled, we can never be cucumbers again." The truth of this statement has been borne out in the vast experience of those who have found sobriety. Once we lose our ability to control our drinking, it is gone forever.
We experience terror that we are out of control,
bewilderment that despite our firm resolve we have gotten drunk again,
frustration that our willpower can not bring about the life that we desire,
and despair that we will ever rise out of the mire into which we are sinking.
There are many ways to recovery. Many different recovery programs. If any of what I have shared here rings true for you and you are struggling to find hope, please reach out, there is hope, find a program that works for you. Sobriety is truly a blessing.
Quote:
For most normal folks, drinking means conviviality, companionship, and colorful imagination. It means release from care, boredom, and worry. It is joyous intimacy with friends, and a feeling that life is good. But not so with us in those last days of heavy drinking. The old pleasures were gone. They were but memories. Never could we recapture the great moments of the past. There was an insistent yearning to enjoy life as we once did and a heartbreaking obsession that some new miracle of control would enable us to do it. There was always one more attempt---and one more failure. The less people tolerated us, the more we withdrew from society, from life itself. As we became subjects of King Alcohol, shivering deniznes of his mad realm, the chilling vapor that is loneliness settled down. It thickened, ever becoming blacker. Some of us sought out sordid places, hoping to find understanding companionship and approval. Momentarily we did---then would come oblivion and the awful awakening to face the hideous Four Horsemen---Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration, Despair. Unhappy drinkers who read this page will understand. (from the chapter A Vision for You) |
The worst thing I’ve done since I got sober was….
fill in the blank.
Who wants to go first?
I'm also intersted in how many views this thread gets. Lol.
We are not saints...eh?
:You_Rock_
Who wants to go first?
I'm also intersted in how many views this thread gets. Lol.
We are not saints...eh?
:You_Rock_
Got dreams?
Alot of people post about having these dreams. Especially in early recovery.
Nightmares..using dreams..Or mine use to be blood and cop dreams.
I also have good dreams. And dreams that seem t hold a meaning.
Whatever it is thats on your mind in your unconscious.
Want to talk about it?
Want to see if there are others experiencing the same thing?
Just want to shoot the you know what.
Join Dreamers.
I love talking about my dreams.
I remember them alot too.
Nightmares..using dreams..Or mine use to be blood and cop dreams.
I also have good dreams. And dreams that seem t hold a meaning.
Whatever it is thats on your mind in your unconscious.
Want to talk about it?
Want to see if there are others experiencing the same thing?
Just want to shoot the you know what.
Join Dreamers.
I love talking about my dreams.
I remember them alot too.
Something Cute that happened
Hi ladies.
I've been going to a lot more meetings lately, which is helping me with my depression so much.
Something happened at a meeting this weekend that really picked up my spirits.
I've sometimes noticed this Really Cute Guy at meetings in my area, but we never talked. He always has a nice warm, not-creepy smile just for me though. I liked the way he hung around only with the guys and I noticed he was consistently at meetings and seemed to be seriously always writing something and consulting his NA books while waiting for meetings to start (stepwork, maybe?).
Anyway, this weekend, Cute Guy picked up his one year chip. Yay for him!
After the meeting, he came up and started talking to me, then, when I told him I had to go, walked me over to my car, and said "Well, I've got a year now, so I'm allowed to ask you out! I've been waiting for the day. What do you say? Want to come out and hear my band?"
I had to tell him that I don't have a year yet...ouch. I really wanted to go hear him. I'm a sucker for talent.
He was sweet, told me "Well, I've learned that if it's meant to be, it'll happen when you are ready to date. Let me know when it is OK to ask you again." I hope he is still single when I have a year! It was really nice to be treated with such respect, like I was worth waiting for. And I admire that he waited 'til he had his year to start trying to date.
I guess we'll just have to see, I have a long time to wait, but it was so nice to be asked. Sigh....I know I can't even hang out with him just yet, 'cause "just friends" would never work with Cute Guy. He's too cute. Wow. Maybe I'm not as depressed as I thought. I feel all tingly....not a bad feeling!
KJ
I've been going to a lot more meetings lately, which is helping me with my depression so much.
Something happened at a meeting this weekend that really picked up my spirits.
I've sometimes noticed this Really Cute Guy at meetings in my area, but we never talked. He always has a nice warm, not-creepy smile just for me though. I liked the way he hung around only with the guys and I noticed he was consistently at meetings and seemed to be seriously always writing something and consulting his NA books while waiting for meetings to start (stepwork, maybe?).
Anyway, this weekend, Cute Guy picked up his one year chip. Yay for him!
After the meeting, he came up and started talking to me, then, when I told him I had to go, walked me over to my car, and said "Well, I've got a year now, so I'm allowed to ask you out! I've been waiting for the day. What do you say? Want to come out and hear my band?"
I had to tell him that I don't have a year yet...ouch. I really wanted to go hear him. I'm a sucker for talent.
He was sweet, told me "Well, I've learned that if it's meant to be, it'll happen when you are ready to date. Let me know when it is OK to ask you again." I hope he is still single when I have a year! It was really nice to be treated with such respect, like I was worth waiting for. And I admire that he waited 'til he had his year to start trying to date.
I guess we'll just have to see, I have a long time to wait, but it was so nice to be asked. Sigh....I know I can't even hang out with him just yet, 'cause "just friends" would never work with Cute Guy. He's too cute. Wow. Maybe I'm not as depressed as I thought. I feel all tingly....not a bad feeling!
KJ
Hello Everyone
Hello Everyone. This is my first time posting a thread in this section. I can't believe I just spent 1.5 hours reading through some of the old material...Whew!
I'm just dropping by to say a little about myself. I guess if you'd have to stick a label on me, call me agnostic. I stopped believing in a god before I had a drinking problem. Lack of faith is NOT what led me to drink...it was one small part of NUMEROUS other things.
Being in your early 20's is a drag. I went through so many mental changes in a short period of time I didn't know what to do so I drank. And drank. Now I'm in my late 20's (sober at the moment). I know that AA (or any other group that's organized) won't work for me. I've never been the kind of person who can lay it all out in order and make it happen. I have my own hodge-podge random way of doing things. A part of me wishes I could get it together, but my brain doesn't seem to want to function that way. :) Anyone else feel as scrambled as I do? Sometimes it's fun taking an unorganized approach to life, but it can get in the way of moving forward at times. I'm trying to become more focused. Trying. :) Right now I'm happy I yet again have 23 days of sobriety. That's okay for now, but I need to think about moving on with my life so I can do the things I dream about. I keep telling myself that this is the only shot at existence that I have. Once I'm dead, that's it. Game over. I don't want to go out drunk, poor, depressed, and smelly. :)
I'm just dropping by to say a little about myself. I guess if you'd have to stick a label on me, call me agnostic. I stopped believing in a god before I had a drinking problem. Lack of faith is NOT what led me to drink...it was one small part of NUMEROUS other things.
Being in your early 20's is a drag. I went through so many mental changes in a short period of time I didn't know what to do so I drank. And drank. Now I'm in my late 20's (sober at the moment). I know that AA (or any other group that's organized) won't work for me. I've never been the kind of person who can lay it all out in order and make it happen. I have my own hodge-podge random way of doing things. A part of me wishes I could get it together, but my brain doesn't seem to want to function that way. :) Anyone else feel as scrambled as I do? Sometimes it's fun taking an unorganized approach to life, but it can get in the way of moving forward at times. I'm trying to become more focused. Trying. :) Right now I'm happy I yet again have 23 days of sobriety. That's okay for now, but I need to think about moving on with my life so I can do the things I dream about. I keep telling myself that this is the only shot at existence that I have. Once I'm dead, that's it. Game over. I don't want to go out drunk, poor, depressed, and smelly. :)
OxyContin versus Time Release Morphine tablets?
My sister takes OxyContin for pain but has become extremely addicted and has been misusing it. She was taking 16 tablets a day, 20mgs.
She now tells me her new doctor has taken away five of those tablets and replaced them with one time release morphine pill (don't know the dose).
Can anyone tell me...
a. First, is this plausible? Does it make sense?
b. And... If so, what makes time release morphine a better option than Oxy?
Thanks! :)
She now tells me her new doctor has taken away five of those tablets and replaced them with one time release morphine pill (don't know the dose).
Can anyone tell me...
a. First, is this plausible? Does it make sense?
b. And... If so, what makes time release morphine a better option than Oxy?
Thanks! :)
12 Step Programs: Do They Work? Some Questions Answered In This Video.
A year and a half ago the pain in my leg that got so bad I couldn't walk...
