Drug Rehab Options Blog

My insane AD begged me for help. By the time she showed up today (with a guy pal who was a 'trick' and is now a 'friend'), all she wanted to do was get a ride from one of us back to Newark and "can you just give me $20 and i'll go to any rehab you want?" there was plenty of suicidal talk so I said i'd take her to a psych ER. She said, "Yes, but I want to go to the ER at UMDNJ "(A hospital in - yes you guess it - Newark!). I refused. she actually started grabbing loose change out of a change jar in my home. I told her to put it back or I would call the cops. She put it back. I offered to take her to a meeting, she said "Screw your NA meetings and your NA friends." She demanded a ride to Newark than gave a detailed rundown of what I would do for her next. I said, "You asked me for help. I'm offering it, on my terms, not yours." When she replied with an expletive, I threw her suitcase out the door and her after it (figuratively), got in the car and left to go to MY meeting. I neither screamed nor cried.

Later she called and said the rehab she had left last week refuses to take her back so she is calling other places. I said that was good, to let me know if she found a place and I'd let her know if I was available to take her.

My mom decided she would pay for treatment one more time.

I am so proud of myself. I was manipulation-proof. I think the reason is that I really finally believe that I am powerless and that its God's battle to win, not mine. If there is nothing I can do to make her get clean, then she can't manipulate me with promises to go into treatment if I only give her $,etc. I think she was really confused by me today.

My husband thinks all this talk of suicide and wanting to go into treament every other week only to walk out of treatment is about not wanting to live with her abusive BF anymore. I think its OK if it is, because its all part of the bottoming out and surrending process. She clearly is miserable with her life and that a good thing. What is even better is i am done with doing anything for her, including helping her go into treament, on HER terms. I will do only what I want to do for her, in my way and on my terms, and only if and when I feel like it!!

I am in need of advice with two problems.

I hate this being my first post and to lay this all out like this, but I really don't know what direction to turn. I'm not some 20 yr old kid in a manner of speaking.

I broke up with my lady friend this past weekend of 3 months. As embarrassed as I am to admit this, I fell for her rather quickly as we clicked on almost every level, very similar life styles... I thought this lady had her act together, however the truth is she is very ill mannered and mean spirited. She has a lot of anger and abandon issues.

When we first met I didn't know she was a 2 yr recovering binge drinker. After a while she claimed she was good (in control) and could handle any environment that served liquor. We discussed what was needed and expected and I didn't hold her past against her... it was past, right ?

Since we started dating, she has fallen off the wagon three different times. Each time she used an excuse about something I supposedly did but was actually relationship fears based from her past as an excuse to get drunk and confrontational.

Each time she apologized and promised it wouldn't happen again and would come up with a logical reasoning. This last time this happened in front of a lot of my friends and acquaintances. Needles to say that most scattered as we all are basically low keyed and she was way over the top. I was embarrassed and felt disrespected. Of course her response the next day was "she made a mistake and I should give her another chance". Of course since Saturday she has written me and has given me more logical arguments why she acted the way she did and how much she loves me, ect..ect...

To be honest, I don't trust my judgement at this point and it scares the hell out of me... I see a unhealthy pattern developing and I'm not sure if its her or me.

I see the pattern and I know in my heart that I'm in way over my head with her. Of course she claims to love me with all her heart, but what does love have to do with anything ? I cannot compete with her dead husband and I will not continue to take the wrath because of her last failed marriage.

15 yrs ago I waisted 2 1/2 yrs with an alcoholic woman and one of my good friends is a functional alcoholic, although I have given after he made it clear he knows he is and doesn't care.

Until tonight, I never labeled my father an alcoholic, but as I think about it, he drank a six pack or two every night.

Now here is where I get my rude awakening, thus my screen name.......

In searching the net on alcoholics and their patterns I came across a post made last yr here and this lady discussed how she found info about adult children and the dysfunction associated.

I read in literal horror what I endure when I was a growing up with various issues I have faced most of my life. You see I come from a dysfunctional family. I couldn't even begin to explain what I endured and how it had effected me.

I spent most of my life angry with a chip on my shoulder. Its a wonder I didn't end up a felon in jail. It wasn't until I was well in my 30's before I began to discover who I was and that I was ok. It was a long and lonely process, but I learned to be honest with myself or I thought I have been. I have dealt with a lot of issues and thought I was in a good place in my life, but after what I read today as well as taking the adult child test, I found I was 70 %. It said that I had been severely affected and should seek help... No kidding, I already knew this, however I found that I had learn to mask many more issues, thus lying to myself... there I go being hard on myself, again..lol

Hello, I am Rude awakening and I am an adult child. I am 48 and never married and I've had enough of choosing the wrong type of woman, making the wrong decisions based on something I had no control over 30+ yrs ago.

Please don't get me wrong... in the past 15 yrs I have gone from nothing to owning a business, my business practices has been written in several major magazines in my field... designed and built my house almost completely alone with very little help. I have over come many obstacles that has held me back, but the past 48 hrs has opened my eyes to so much more that needs addressing.

I recognise that the relationship with the ex girl friend had become a very unhealthy with her. Now if that isn't enough I recognizing that all I did was work around many of my issues that I had thought I dealt with.
I feel guilty that I have walked away from her and now I feel bad for failing to recognize what has been going on with me...

I promise this is no joke... I just need a little direction

Thank you in advance.

I am having trouble with the higher power thing. I have been praying to the God of my understanding, which is the God in the bible (Jesus).

However, it hasn't been working. I have not stayed sober. Since I have declared myself completely and utterly powerless over alcohol and admitted that my life is unmanageable, I need a higher power to keep me sober. I cannot do it myself, which has been demonstrated over and over again.

Anyway, what I am getting at here is that I am willing to explore other ideas of a HP. So I ask you all... can you share a little about your HP, if you are comfortable to do so? This might sound like a weird request, but I am desperate here. I've spent the last few days on the road traveling by myself and have taken some time to meditate, pray and think, and I feel that there is some other form of HP that I'm just not tapping into.

Someone at my home group meeting told me to pray to the "God that helps alcoholics".

I appreciate anyone that can offer help with this!

(And before anyone asks, no, I do not have a sponsor to ask help from with this.)

Sounds & looks weird reading it but if you are quitting you are going to face that question.

Im more concerned about coworkers at the many work functions than friends but either way its a tough question. Ok.. maybe its an easy one but it sure does seem tough now.

So what are the top three reasons for not drinking that you have given to coworkers & friends?

Coworkers:
1) I'm on medication....
2) I have a big day lined up tomorrow...
3) Ive decided to take it easy for a while

It took me over a minute to come up with the last lame one. Anyway, lets hear your top three excuses for not drinking (maybe 6 if you go with the friends/work thing)

A sober person may say:

1) I care about myself & family/friends
2) I am trying to take care of myself
3) You dont want to see me drunk :a043:

Looking forward to your top 3 reasons you have given others.

Thank you all for helping me stay sober :ghug

and AH walked out. He told the counselor that he had stayed sober for a year but that I hadn't changed the fact that my house is a mess. The counselor asked him if that was supposed to be justification for his drinking and he basically just got up and walked out. All the counselor said was that it was apparent that he doesnt want to address his addiction issues. I also told the counselor in front of him that I am adament that he will not keep the kids while he is drinking. It didn't sit well but Im standing my ground. AH said that he is worried about the kids and all but he has basically become a part time dad. It is supposedly to stressful for him to watch the kids here. The counselor asked why he didn't take the kids to a park or someplace AH was like well I cant live with them in a park.


I did have a moment during the appointment where I busted out in tears and told AH that I f*%#% hated him. I don't really hate him, but at the same time I'm so tired of the things that he does and says. After he left the counselor and I talked for a while longer. I am really excited to work with him annd get some of my issues figured out. It feels so freeing to be able to finally deal with the emotions and stuff that I have developed over the last decade with him and to finally figure out some of my interests that I had long forgotten about.

Banned Member Syfonic posted spam with many visitor messages on profiles. If you see his message on your profile please delete it and I'll go through and permanently delete it.

No need to report it now. The member has been banned.

Thanks for all the reports and for helping us stop him.

One for the girls

Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my shape to keep.
Please no wrinkles, Please no bags
And please lift my butt before it sags.
Please no age spots, Please no gray
And as for my belly, Please take it away .
Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,
And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4. I t is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.

Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
'If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts.

So today I started my DUI program groups. It is 1 1/2 hours once a week for 12 weeks. I am trying to keep an open mind but I really am not thrilled about this. For 15 minutes of the group I got to hear about a guy's trip to Vegas to throw his brother a bachelor party, complete with blackouts, blow up dolls and strippers. It is not that I don't understand that many non-alcoholics get DUI's and can have fun drinking, but for me the drinking was no laughing situation.

I feel that I am the only one in the room that believes that they have a problem and the only one in recovery. It kind of sucks because I am missing my AA home group for this and I feel like I could be getting a lot more out of being there than in this group.

But, who am I to complain. I am paying the consequences of my choice and for that, I know I need to be there.
So...does anyone else have experience with this?
Any suggestions for how to get the most out of this?

Thanks for listening to me vent ;)

i have been clean of my d.o.c. for 5 LONG days. thanks in advance to those that chose to participate...krissy