Drug Rehab Options Blog

I'm not sure where to post this as it is weighing heavy on my heart tonight. I am a recovering alcoholic. My baby sister is 46 years and a meth addict. She's been on some kind of drug since she was 12 years old. She's 46 now and homeless.

My brother, a recovering meth addict himself who has been clean and sober for almost 10 years called tonight. He's letting our sister sleep in a shed on the edge of his property as she has no where else to go. She's lived with him in the past but was bringing "scumbags" over to party so he asked her to leave.

As she has burned every bridge to family and friends she really is living on the streets. I haven't spoken to her in several years and that was at a funeral. She's very charming, intelligent and can be fun. But her need for drugs makes her steal anything and everything she can get her hands on.

Several years ago she was arrested and court-ordered to spend a year in the
Salvation Army Rehab. According to her, she got little addiction education but was made to work in the shop. She told me then she had no intention of getting clean and this was basically a "vacation" from drugs.

I realize there's nothing I can do for her but hold a positive thought that she would get sick and tired of that life.

Brother and I talked about getting her into some sort of rehab. I used to have a few connections and might be able to call in a few favors and wangle her a place in an inpatient facility at no cost. I offered her this in the past and she declined. So, I guess there's nothing more I can do.

If you all would be so kind to pray for her to have a moment of clarity, I would greatly appreciate it. I believe it's all that's left to do.

She had a long history of being enabled by our parents. And other addicts she hangs with.

It breaks my heart to know she's in such a bad way.

I do believe I have detached with love. But it still hurts. I think I have a degree of anger for being cheated out of relationship with her. And sadness that there's little I can do.

We have little family left. It's just me, our brother and another meth addicted sister. We have no idea where the other sister is.

Please think of us and if you are the praying sort, offer up for her.

Thank you.

Love,

Lenina

This was in Sunrose's welcome thread and I thought I'd make a new for this newcomer's question:

Hello to Sunrose & everyone here,

As of this moment, I have been somewhat sober for a little under 3 months. So, I'm not so sure that lessening your intake really counts very much in the way of being sober. Actually, I am more so really trying NOT to give into temptation, as I am surrounded by people who <3 to drink. So, I'd rather be completely honest here; and just say that every now and then I do give in to temptation; but can manage to go days at a time without drinking. So, sometimes...say I've had a really bad/stressful week, I may have 2 at most. I am not proud of it & obviously have to suffer the consequences of it by telling myself, "NO!"...I'm sure you guys may well know, after one or two, you just want more. However, despite all of this, I have gone from drinking a 6-pack a day to skipping days at a time and then having maybe 1 or 2...That is progress of some sort, I'm sure?

I guess...Actually, I really may have more of question for anyone who may care to answer this?...If stress/issues of which were never really quite resolved (say abusive relationships/emotional abuse and really more than just one) & getting used to drinking as a means to resolve these issues. Currently, I do attend therapy for these things. Though, the therapy & the hurt I experienced, all truly being more than I am anywhere capable of handling...Anyway, I don't forget it & the therapy/antidepressants aren't really enough (even now). I find it hard trusting people - mostly I tend to detach myself from almost everyone - As so, to avoid getting to close / hurt by them.

If these are the things that make you want to drink...What I would like to know is how you lay these issues to rest? I do manage to whatever degree to put up the best defense I know how...But, as for the guy who was emotionally abusive/detached from me...I guess I just know how much I really loved him. And, every now and then, it gets really hard! It gets really hard NOT TO DRINK.

What I would like to know is, "How do you guys lay these issues to rest?" I have for the longest time been emotionally dependent on alcohol. I do have a great boyfriend who I care about deeply. However, the experience of not only that, but other things as well. When you've experienced so much of the bad. How do you move beyond that?

It's only my first day of sobriety but I am already feeling encouraged that I can do this. I am not really craving alcohol right now but miss the relaxing, buzzed feeling. The problem is that my husband is drunk and stoned right now and I'm afraid he's going to try and pick a fight with me for being sober. I've been in the front room studying while he's been in the back room. I have not said anything about his drinking or smoking because I know that's not my place but he seems to be feeling defensive anyways. This is the part that worries me. How do I deal with him in a drunk and stoned state when I am trying to create a more positive routine for myself. I came home and studied and by the time I was ready to relax and have some ice cream, he was drunk which was not so relaxing for me. Still, I have to do this for me but I'm worried about what happens when he wants to yell at me or pick fights with me. I hope this works!

Wow, what a weird day. My brain is just totally confused & frazzled. I need to vent, clear my head so as to make logical sense out of all of this. Please understand that this is probably pure venting, not thinking too much into things.....just overwhelmed right now with emotions. I really can do without harsh critism.......so PLEASE just help me to figure this all out to **MY** best interest.

Let me start with yesterday. I had a REALLY WEIRD STRONG gut feeling that I should go to the magistrate's office to get a copy of my AXB 2004 police report, which if you remember, includes a warrant currently on him for not showing up for an arraingment hearing. This feeling came way out of the blue........I cannot even imagine WHERE this feeling came from! It just CAME. We had started a file folder last year, when he was wanting to straighten out his life, deal with this warrant, etc. I'm pretty good with legal stuff, and started digging up info & plans. He got scared half way into the process, and backed away. We needed to get a copy of this 2004 police report to find out what his BAC was (in PA, BAC matters alot as to sentencing/this is his 2nd offense in 10 years). He forbid me to going to the magistrate, he was afraid I was opening a can of worms. Anyway, we've been split up for 5 weeks, and yesterday I felt this URGENT gut feeling that I should get this police report NOW. I kept trying to fight this urge, thinking it was "codie"......I even asked God for a "sign" because Alon-On says I should not do such things....mind my OWN business, etc. So this morning, I called his mom and she said "This is the PERFECT TIME......you HONESTLY do not know where he is at if they ask, and if you feel in your gut that you should persue this, then DO IT". So, I figured this was "my sign". Some may think this is rediculous, but I just felt like it was what I needed to do, for whatever reason. Okay...got the police report.......after a very RUDE time at the magistrates.......ugh.....they didn't want to give it to me, then when I told them it was public record & the sherriffs dept advised me to go there to get it.....they finally gave me a copy.
Then, upon reading it, I was REALLY feeling horrible.......his blood alcohol level was .77........the LETHAL level is .50 for a NORMAL human...any normal human would be DEAD at .77.....yet my AXB was DRIVING with a BAC of .77. UGH!!!!! After reading the book "Under The Influence" I understand how an alcoholics body becomes tolerant to higher than lethal doses of alcohol.......but this info on the report just stunned me. It hit me SO hard as to how serious his desease is. If he is able to consume so much more than LETHAL level of alcohol, and still function to drive a car....then he is in SEVERLY bad shape........SICK beyond believe. It breaks my HEART!!!!!! And I was just bummed, thinking negetive....thinking "there is NO hope for this".

Was going through various emotions all evening. Discussed it with his mom, and we were like thinking worst case scenerios like the alcohol was going to eventually kill him, etc. I was just SICK......please understand, I LOVE this guy, and feel SO helpless!!!!!!!!

I kNOW........I didn't casue it, can't CURE it, etc.......but still have these emotions........ugh!!

Then tonight......totally out of the blue, after 5 weeks, he phones me. If you all remember, I phoned him last week, leaving a message on his machine. He didn't call back, so I just chalked it off as he preferred alcohol over me. But it was so odd that he phoned TONIGHT after all this crazy stuff, new legal findings, and severe emotions. I didn't mention the report, I just did not feel it was the right time, it will only scare him away more IF he is "ready" to deal with his warrant. He was vague on the phone, not admitting any faults or anyting, just saying he wasn't happy with his new apt, etc........and saying something about if he could find a ride, he would pick up the stuff he left here this weekend (I'm sure just an "excuse" to test the waters). I'm not sure, but from what I get, life isn't so great for him right now. But he is SO proud, and won't admit it.........he kinda wants me to BEG. URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the man with my whole heart, feel so sorry for his desease, and yes i am MISSING him BIG TIME!!!!! But I want him to GET HELP. For HIS sake (he already has health issues because of drinking, and virtually NOTHING to show for his life). I can't just turn him away. I just can't do it.
And I'm so unsure, given this new info on the police report, if I dare tell him. If I tell him right now that I did this & what was found (the high BAC level), he'll get super scared and RUN for sure, not wanting to face the warrant/dui!!!! How the heck do I HELP without ENABLING????????

My mind is just spinning.......so sorry if this post doens;'t sound right. I'm having visions of him DYING due to his extreme alcohol addiction & health problems (It's THAT SERIOUS).......yet also knowing that in order for him to ever hit bottom, I need to "let go".........URGH!!!!!!!!!!

Need prayers praYERS prayers, pLEASE!!!!!!!!!

August 28

The light of exposure

The Fifth Step asks us to share our true nature with God, with ourselves, and with another human being. It doesnÂ’t encourage us to tell everyone every little secret about ourselves. It doesnÂ’t ask us to disclose to the whole world every shameful or frightening thought weÂ’ve ever had. Step Five simply suggests that our secrets cause us more harm than good when we keep them completely to ourselves.

If we give in to our reluctance to reveal our true nature to even one human being, the secret side of our lives becomes more powerful. And when the secrets are in control, they drive a wedge between ourselves, our Higher Power, and the things we value most about our recovery.

When we share our secret selves in confidence with at least one human being—our sponsor, perhaps, or a close friend—this person usually doesn’t reject us. We disclose ourselves to someone else and are rewarded with their acceptance. When this happens, we realize that honest sharing is not life-threatening; the secrets have lost their power over us.


Just for today: I can disarm the secrets in my life by sharing them with one human being.

Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

:ghug3DOING GREAT AND JUST WANTED TO LET EVERYONE KNOW WE ARE FINE GOING TO PICK UP TWO NEW BABIES TOMARROW WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO.....( PUPPIES 8 WEEK OLD FEMALES)

AND NO WAY IN HELL I AM GOING TO QUIT NOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!


LOVE AND HUGS
PAMM AND FAM!




BTW YOU JUST DONT QUIT!!!!!!!

Hey guys, I'm new. I don't know how to start this, so I'll cut right to the chase. I'm a 3-day recovering (that seems so small) alcoholic/pill-popper. I apologize if the latter isn't politically correct. I suppose drug-addict would fit as well, no use in sugarcoating things. Apologies if I'm bitter. You guys understand.

I got wasted everyday for about a year (was it two?). Mostly on pills - whatever I could get my hands on, excess over-the-counter meds, other people's prescriptions, off friends who tongue'd their meds. Pills were everyday, booze was whenever I could get it, which wasn't as rare as you'd think. Whenever I'd drink it became a sick goal to take it all the way. It wasn't over unless it was all gone, I was puking in random places, or I was passed out. I've walked down the street half naked at 6AM in the projects still trashed from the night before, with no sleep (when I drink, I don't sleep, I stay up and drink, the insomnia helps). And in my head, this was better than being sober, feeling miserable. But, pills we're quite different. I needed just enough to make me loopy, but not enough to be completely gone. Just, steady-handed. But I'm dependant on them (I use the present tense because, you're always recovering, never recovered), I need them to feel normal. I used everyday. And once in a while, someone would find a stash or find the medicine cabinet almost completely empty. And I'd hurt someone I loved. I think we're all familiar with guilt here, and feeling completely down on ourselves, yes? Yes.

So. Why do I want to be sober now? They say we've got to hit our bottom, right? Theoretically, that should've been a number of times for me, all of us. But no, for me, it was 3 days ago. It was about one in the morning when I went upstairs (insomnia), to try and rest my back - it'd been killing me for days. I mean, it always hurts, but this was far worse. I knew in the back of my mind I'd messed myself up bad. I kept taking Midol during the duration of that night, nothing would touch this pain. Absolutely nothing. By 2:30 AM I had taken a bottle of Midol, and was on the floor, naked, crying in pain, in the dark. I couldn't move my body, I was convulsing, and I thought I was going to die. I was alone. No one was gonna walk through the door. Sid Vicious' "My Way" wasn't even on. It was all wrong. I was scared. More than I've ever been in my life. I knew in the back of my mind that I'd done this to myself. I passed out on the floor at 4, and woke up at 6, freezing cold, and I could barely move just a little. I managed to crawl into bed, still writhing and crying in pain, and laid there until 9, when someone finally decided it was time I see a doctor.

I spent about 6 hours in the ER, where they had to catharize (sp?) me for a urine sample, because I couldn't move & they couldn't tell if the blood was in my urine or from my menstraution (I can't spell, I'm sorry). Turns out, nothing wrong with my bladder. So they gave me Lortabs for my pain (ironic, because Hydrocodone is generic for Lortab, and that's my drug of choice, but I don't tell the doctors that). Though, I did genuinely need that for pain, I swear you'd think you were gonna die. So they gave me a CAT scan, nothing wrong with my kidneys (doctor scared the hell out of me when he said blatantly he thought it was stones!). I was shocked at that, it takes me about 10 minutes to pee. So they did an Xray. Nothing wrong with my back. They didn't know what was wrong with me, after 6 excrutiating hours. So they sent me home with a load of hydros & referred me to my gynecologist, who I saw today.

My gyno took some cultures, which hurt like hell, and he said they shouldn't have. So he did some more tests with my pain reactions, and called me into his office. He said my uterus was "very tender and weak" & most likely enlarged, therefore pressing on the nerves in my back. We'll find out in a week whether or not it's an infection, or endomecreosius (I cannot spell to save my life). If it's the latter, he's putting me in for surgery.

Even now on my pain medication, I am in excrutiating, but dull and aching pain. I can't help but think I really messed myself up. I've hurt everyone that I love, and myself. Please help me stay sober. I'm sick of this and feeling this way about myself. I want life to be beautiful without drugs and booze.

Other than that. Uh. I'm a writer.

My husband had been going out during the evening after work. This evening he didn't get home till ten. It's clear he's drinking. This evening I fiund and empty bottle of smirnoff in a brown paper bag, inside of a box. Hes' drinking more at home, and is moody and irratic (spelling). The hidden empty bottle really concerns me. Any advice?

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Procrastination

Procrastination - not acting when the time is right - is a self-defeating behavior. It produces anxiety, guilt, disharmony, and a nagging consciousness of the task that life is telling us it's time to do.

We are not always procrastinating when we put off doing something. Sometimes, doing a thing before the time is right can be as self-defeating as waiting too long.

We can learn to discern the difference. Listen to yourself. Listen to the Universe. What is past due and creating anxiety and prodding within you?

Is there something in your life you are avoiding because you don't want to face it? Is there a building anxiety from putting this off?

Sometimes anger, fear, or feeling helpless can motivate procrastination. Sometimes, procrastination has simply become habitual.

Trust and listen to yourself, your Higher Power, and the Universe. Watch for signs and signals. If it is time to do something, do it now. If it is not yet time, wait until the time is right.

God, help me learn to be on time and in harmony with my life. Help me tune in to and trust Divine Timing and Order.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

So, I am a wine drinker. I can drink ALOT of wine. I go between red wine (cuz its good for you -- haha) and white wine which is sweeter. I used to drink beer, but I get too full after a couple and don't feel like drinking it. I don't like hard liquor for some reason. If I am out of wine I can drink one or two beers, and that's it, I'm done. We have bourbon and gin in the cupboards that have been there for years that I would never drink...so is there some kind of sugar craving with the wine? Can I try to substitute something that would take away the craving or am I just an alcoholic that likes wine?