Drug Rehab Options Blog

CONGRATULATIONS DEE!

:You_Rock_

You really are an inspiration here, to me and so many others.

You're the first to offer words of encouragement and advice to so many in newcomers, and never look for credit on what you've achieved either.

You deserve credit though-for all you give. I know there's been times when you could have given it all up but you never did.You never gave in even when you were pushed to the wall by life.You have so much courage and integrity.I'm proud of you.

Thank you for being such a great example and friend to me and all of us. :bday8 :Val004:

Julesxox

I am not sure at the moment I am a friend of the addict but... here I am.

I am a recovering addict married to what once was a recovering addict who has gone out and got loaded many times now. It started about six months ago. I have yelled, kicked, screamed, tossed the stuff out, brought the stuff back in, blah, blah, blah.

I have attend a few Naranon meetings and will continue to go but... haven't really gotten any advice (is that the advice, they don't give any?). I have let him use at home, I have told him not to come home when using. I don't know what to do with him.

Do I leave him in the house? or is that killing him?
Do I kick him out of the house and let him kill him?

He hasn't stolen anything or not brought the pay check home, he isn't causing chaos (except with me) my kids don't know he has been getting loaded (YET), he says he wants to get clean but doesn't do what he needs to do to get clean. I am sick of it, over and over and over and there doesn't look like there is an end in sight.

What to do?

I've had this saved on my computer and read it often.

However, I have never seen it done like this............................

ENJOY

TIME GETS BETTER WITH AGE...a very special thanks to Mary for this one...

Yes, over the years it has helped with my recovery.

Love and hugs,

Hi Ladies (and perhaps a Gentleman or two!). Hope all is well, as always.

Short story... had an ex who was an addict... if you're really interested, you can probably find some pretty pathetic posts pre-February 2007 from me regarding the same! Broke it off when the legal trouble started on his part... one thing I know I can't handle. Began dating another guy... he was completely "socially acceptable", shall I say, but our relationship had the passion of a footrest... eventually ended up seeing ex-ABF after breaking it off with Mr. Socially Acceptable... which led to dancing with ex-ABF (we are at a concert, so that wasn't as strange as it sounds)...which of course led to admitting undying-and-perpetual-love for ex-ABF... conveniently about a year and a half after I broke it off and a month before he went to court-ordered rehab for said legal troubles for 90-plus days.

Court-ordered rehab is more than halfway through... I believe... and now of course my brain is starting to ramble. Say what you will (really, it's fine :0) but I think this is it for him and the drugs. I really do. But as a result of the drugs... of course life issues arise. I've been living on my own since I was 15... and I suppose his plan is to move in with his parents when he gets back (at almost 28 years old)... no job to speak of... parents and family have plenty of financial support and always have (don't get me started on that!) so I doubt he's ever sat down and paid bills in his life, at least for all of his own expenses... so here's what I'm faced with.

Despite the fact that I've been doing quite well with the "no expectations" thing in the present, I have a "list"... I know, bad sign. But I still do. It is a list of things he would have to do before I would want to start a life with him... most recently brought to a head by the idea of marriage, which he's presented ever since we "reconnected" (we were together for over three years, so it's not insane if not for the fact that he is currently semi-incarcerated!).

So here's the list...

1. He needs to get a job. Being part of his family is not a job, IMO. :)

2. He needs to get his own place and take care of it... that includes paying bills, keeping it clean, not causing it to light on fire... etc.

3. He needs to be responsible for his stuff and take care of it... vehicle, health insurance, generaly "Big Boy" stuff.

That's really all I've got. But I know it's not appropriate for me to demand these "expectations" from him.. trouble is, I'm not sure that changing the phrasing... i.e., "I won't accept a relationship with a person who lives with his 'rents" really changes the meaning of any of it. Should I just sit down with him and have one conversation about it? My mom's been sober for four years, and this is what she suggested. She said to get out my expectations, not hide them - but of course, she's an "interested party".

I wish I could talk to my old sponsor about this, but she's actually the one who hooked me up with Mr. Socially Acceptable, so it's all weird with us. I literally don't have the time to make the ONE Alanon meeting within 100 miles of us because of a work commitment that night I can't get out of, either.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

hi -

Got up this morning, headed out to the front porch...
USUALLY-
I sit in the sun, and let the pain medication start it's work for the day,
Have a cup of coffee, read the 'Daily Meditations For Women' while I wait...
... while looking across Butte and the Continental Divide.

but THIS morning ...
I step out, coffee and Hazledon book in hand...
and the neighbor's abf is yarking off her front porch.
(our porches are barely fifteen feet away from each other)
:yikes: EEEEEEK-a-lah!

*and a good morning to YOU, too, I say!*

So I spun on my heel, and went back inside.
And went to my BACK porch to have my coffee and 'greet the day'.

I picked up the phone and called my neighbor
(mty back porch faces her house across the alley)
and asked her if she was going to a meeting today.
And could I hitch a ride.

I haven't been to a meeting in a month or so ...
and really, I wasn't even aware I was doing it
but I've been 'around' long enough to know there must be a reason.

okfine.

So I go back out to the front porch later in the morning -
figuring the coast was clear, right?

And I step out into the morning sunshine
and witness a very verbal quite abusive eviction
of the woman across the street.
Who is also active in her addiction.

I'm teetering on the reality myself
(possible eviction and all that)
and to witness the thing like that ...
didn't take much to feel the makings of a cave-in, you know?

oh yeah. Need a meeting.

what a coincidence - I've already arranged a ride.
I'm already GOING...

So I go -
it's a good meeting...
a woman there had her week-old baby...
and I'd calmed down and centered before they even read the Promises.
Funny how that is, isn't it?

So anyway, yadda yadda meeting...
get home ...
and people proceed to come visit.
One after the other.

It was so amazing, really.
I was in continual company until about five o'clock
when a friend said I looked tired and they should go.
and it was like the meeting never really broke up.

I told 'em about what had happened in the morning...
I mean, right at my front step were CONSEQUENCES of alcoholism.
man ya-hooing off the front porch
and a woman getting evicted.
WIth much drama volume obscenity and ... drama.

Nothing like a divine reminder that THAT life can be had again ...

It's always only one drink away.

I spent the entire day so very unspeakably grateful
that that is not my life any more.

*pause*
I'm grateful to be sober.
And I'm grateful to be here.


:ghug

So finally I had a good night's sleep after 3 nights of interrupted nights. My son has moved out and back in with his dad (even though his dad agreed to stand strong with me about this). Whatever. I know that I need to stay strong and I'm doing well while I'm busy. But on the way home tonight, in the quiet of my car, sadness rolled in on me. I'm okay, though. What choice do I have? I can curl up in a corner and cry or I can keep moving, focusing on my life and how I can survive.

It's funny, when I start to melt, I hear the words from this forum echoing in my head. Thanks all for your encouragement.
krhea

Hello everyone!!!! WOW it has been a while since I've post. Alot going on. Since I posted last, I have started therapy. I have really realized alot about myself and RAH. We are so on a different page. SO I have FINALLY realized that my life is mine. And I have worked toward acceptance regarding our relationship. He is moving out Saturday! And I am ok with it. I never thought I could/would be ok with that. BUT I am. My kids know about the addiction. My oldest says if he wants to leave let him....how sad! my dgt. says its not going to change much anyway because he is not there for us anyway....how sad. My 8 y.o. says as long as he doesn't see me cry anymore! How sad that they have experienced this at such a young age. BUt WE are going to get through this. I just pray that they learn from this and grow stronger not weaker from this. RAH returns to anesthesia in Jan. with his DOC placed into his hands. He continues to be distant and makes comments regarding how crazy I am that I won't trust him!! The nerve! What the hell does he think! One must walk and talk the same. He knows exactly what buttons on me to push.....but I have the knowledge now to not react and give him my time! 18 years together.....How our lives have changed.....BUT I will keep walking with my head up high and keep putting one foot in front of the other and not look back! The light at the end tunnel is there. Thanks to all of you......Thanks for being there and helping me!

LifeRing Celebrates Recovery Through ‘Dry Wit’ – an Evening of Education and Entertainment in Victoria, BC

North AmericaÂ’s fastest growing self-help secular recovery group for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction plans first-of-its-kind Victoria event.

Victoria, BC, September, 2008 – LifeRing Secular Recovery announced today that it will be presenting its first annual ‘Dry Wit’ production at the McPherson Playhouse, during Mental Illness Awareness week (October 5 – 11, 2008). Taking place on the evening of Friday October 10, the event will bring together over 20 local addiction, mental health and community service providers, allowing the public, healthcare workers and volunteers to view the many resources available for drug and alcohol addiction and mental health recovery in Victoria. The event will move from the foyer to the stage as local magician Shayne King, stand-up comic Ray Parker, musician John Gogo, cabaret singer Nicky Deanne and other acts – all volunteered – will perform and the evening will be hosted by Erick Thompson of A-British Columbia.

Organizers are gifting 50% of the tickets to those presently in recovery and who are unable to afford a ticket. Organizations with kiosks at the event include, amongst others, the BC Association of Clinical Counselors, the RAK Foundation, Umbrella, Victoria Native Friendship Centre and Sooke Family Services Association.

“This event is the first of its kind in Victoria,” said Michael Walsh, who founded the Victoria chapter of LifeRing in December 2007. “LifeRing is a secular recovery option for those who struggle with alcohol and drug addiction. But in addition to what LifeRing offers, there are so many other support organizations here in Victoria, and I am very pleased that we are coming together under one roof.”

The event will attract people currently in recovery, contemplating recovery, or seeking information on behalf of a friend or loved one. LifeRing’s motto is ‘Empower Your Sober Self’, and encourages its members to build personal recovery plans based on their beliefs and to take control of their recovery, on their terms, but with the support of their peers in the program, and in an open-dialogue forum. Dry Wit will bring a multitude of options for people in Victoria to build their own plans.

Tickets are available at the McPherson box office or on-line at The Royal and McPherson Theatres Society.

About LifeRing Secular Recovery
Founded in Oakland California, LifeRing is a non-profit, secular self-help group for those struggling with alcohol and drug addiction. LifeRing works through the power of positive social reinforcement and by encouraging members to feel empowered by their recovery and sobriety. LifeRing Home Page

Michael Walsh
Founder (Victoria) LifeRing
lifering@shaw.ca

Too much. Unemployment, job searching, health isues etc, no family and no money... A relapse tonight. A friend who bartends- And I may feel bad tomorrow but right now my head says "so what? You've always felt bad..." I tried my best but didn't even make it a week. I feel a waste of time. I suck- I'm sorry. I'm so drunk I puked- I'm ashamed. If I get kicked ioff I don't bvlame anytonei one bit, I'm sorry I wasted your time,.