Drug Rehab Options Blog

Greetings, kidz. Just thought I'd give an update to my fiancee's Norco detox. (Read my "Norco withdrawals..." post)

Tomorrow will be 14th clean day, and she's still going through hell, although now it's more psychological. She sleeps fitfully at best, waking up every hour or so. She becomes panicky when she gets ready for bed, and that's partly my fault (see paragraphs below). During the day, she's very lethargic, and frequently wants to take a nap. But when she finally has an opportunity to get sleep, she can't. Her mind is still rather jumbled.

About the 10th day (Sunday), both of us realized that her Norco addiction really wasn't just about the physical pain. That night, everything that she had suppressed with the pills came spewing forth. Everything that I had done to her, or she thought I had done to her, everything that others had done to her yet somehow involved me... She used very little profanity, but it was the tone in which she spoke to me. It wasn't so much the vile and angry tone that got me; it was the sarcasm. The kind of cutting disdain that one could only find on a grammar school playground. She didn't just want me out of the house, she wanted me out of town. All the way back to South Carolina, to "go back to [my] little Mommy". She had a plane ticket ready to buy from HotWire.com!

The first five years of our relationship were awful. I was a very selfish and angry man-child, and she was desperate for companionship. My upbringing (or whatever it was) provided fuel for my rather despicable, yet thankfully only occasional, behavior problems. Before her gastric bypass, she suppressed her unhappiness about me with food. When she couldn't do it with food anymore, she turned to pills. I really thought she took the pills for her physical back pain.

God, I really had no idea! And it all came back that 10th night like vomit from hell.

Thank you for enduring my diatribe, folks. I know her recovery will take quite a while. I guess I just need a little reassurance now and then that what's going on is the normal process.

And it's obvious that I need some work, too.

Today I made an amends to a family member (my Uncle). I owed him about $4000.00. After telling everything, I was about to give him a check, but he said don't worry about that. Keep the money. He said he and his wife were more concerned that I was doing well and that was good enough for him. I asked if he was sure and said I had the check right here, he still wouldn't take it.

It took a long time to save that money. More money than I've had in one spot for a very long time. So being able to keep it was a bonus.

Here's the question...do I insist he take it? My sponsor said he forgot to tell me that I should insist. Then he said that my heart was in the right spot and that's what counts.

What do you think?

Mark

Hello all, I was here a long time ago when my son was going through recovery from drug and alcohol addiction. He is still doing well, substance wise, over 18 months sober at age 21 and working, going to school, living on his own and I am very proud of him. He is very active in his AA/HA/CA community and does step work, meditation and prayer to his HP, has a sponsor and sponsors a few people. He is very open and honest with me, for the most part.

He recently told me he thinks he is a sex addict and is seeking out an SA sponsor and starting those steps.

Here is my dilemna.

Codie me. He has had to cut back his work hours due to the difficult college major he has chosen, and I know he spends a lot of time studying and is trying hard. He wants this career path he has chosen and need financial help from me. I required us to sit down and make out a budget and advised where he could cut corners. Based on that, we agreed upon an amount I would give him each month to allow him to keep up his studies and still pay his bills. He feels (and I agree) that it is better for him to live on his own because his life really changed once he had to do that.

But I am a signer on his checking acct and I see that subscriptions to "adult" sites are being charged to him. His laptop screen recently went out - it has been a problem with this laptop we have repaired more than once. I told him flat out I cannot afford a new laptop for him and gave him the information to call the manufacturer to see if it was still under warranty.

I am seriously struggling here with continuing to give him money since he is still paying for the adult sites..........and IMO the laptop screen going out....I wanted to ask him what site he was looking at when it happenned!?!

I do not want to jeopardize his sobriety by requiring him to work too much and either miss meetings/sponsor/step time or college. But knowing what I know, I don't want to enable him with his SA problem. I also don't want to leave him hanging out to dry. I can afford to help him, but I don't want to keep ignoring these concerns I have and I feel bad calling him out about his SA since he was honest and upfront with me about that.

Anyone been in this situation? Any advice?

And if SA is not an appropriate topic on this board, I apologize and admins/mods please remove.

TIA

CIM

at my sponsors request, i've been tryin to connect with more people at my meetings. ive gotten a few numbers but i have no idea what im supposed to say when i call these people. sorry if this sounds like a stupid question. im just not used to having normal conversations wit people that dont revolve around buyin drugs.

Hi all....


It's been a while since I've posted...this roller coaster has taken a toll on me. I ended up in the ER with chest pain yesterday, was there for 7 hours.....I followed up with my reg pcp today and they hooked me up to a 24 hr monitor. They think it's stress related, but they want to be sure. I know it's stress. I am nauseas, I can't eat, can't sleep, cry constantly. I was doing so well...reading my books.....visiting the sites...going to naranon, and then boom...he relapsed and I lost it. I am trying to get back on track...detaching..and working on me , but it's so hard!!!!! To recap a lil for those who don't know...I am 37....My bf is 29...he is a heroin addict...we've been together almost 11 months..and He told me 7 months into the relationship he was an addict...because he had been arrested and needed to go to detox/rehab. I totally died at that moment cried screamed...ran left....2 days later I talked to him and realized I love him ..and needed to help him , support him and give him a chance. so I did!!! since then ...he's relapsed once a month I think..and you know the lies, excuses....guilt, bs etc...I stood by him, I was his warden at times....compassionate at times....I tried it all....finally this last time when he picked up again I lost it and said NO..I am detaching totally..it hurt..i cried....but I tried to take it each day asit came..and did ok..two weeks later i see him ..and all those feelings of love came back..I love his mom..and she loves me....I got to see her....b/c I had also detached from her....I missed her soooo...It was nice. He is going into detox tomorrow........so I pray this is the time he does it..stays clean....does the work...etc.....Please pray for him......me & mom!! Thanks for listening...any advice......would be appreciated!!!!!


:praying

Hi Livit came in to chat and is interested in posting here.

I am starting this thread for her and am hoping she can follow the links to get here and post about whats going on with her.

Please respond and make her feel as welcome as the SR family always does

thanks.:ghug

For the last five years I smoked weed every day.I took maybe two 3 weeks breaks in the last five years.
I decided to quit for good and am determined to. I asked God to remove the lure of it and he did. I don't ever want to smoke again and do not have any urges to do so. It has been about two weeks sense I last smoked.

The problem is about a week ago a distant friend commited suicide. I have no job have no money and I am stuggeling at college. I can't seem to focus.

My depression has reached a point that I have never experienced and I have experienced major depression before.
I pray and qoute scriptures to help me make it through each day.My parents and friends are unaware I am going through this and the people closest to me annoy me because of my depression. I think maybe the depression is a mix of withdraw symtoms from quitting smoking pot combined with sadness and stress.

I beleive all things are possible through God who gives me strength and am hoping if I stay focused on God this depression will eventually pass. I do not want to go to a councler because of the money and also i am not a fan of anti depression medecine.

Any advice would be appreciated.

I am utterly lonely. I thought I'd feel better after a meeting but I don't. I have nobody to come home to. I just wish I had someone to give me a hug (in person) and say "You did a good thing today", or something... Maybe it's immature but what can I say, I'm flawed. I've been alone for so long, and alone all day long because I don't have a job to go to. Two of my closest friends coupled off woth someone and never talk to me anymore. It's like I don't exist because. I'm just so sad. I don't think I'll ever be that special someone to anyone. This is why I drank. The relentless, endless loneliness.:abcd:

I did post and tell everyone that my mom passed away, my older sister was living with her for almost 3 years. My sister went to visit her friend in Sask. BC about 2weeks after she passed away. So my oldest son went to stay at grandma's while she was gone. The house I bought only has 2 bedrooms and he was sleeping on the couch...I had offered to buy him a trailor to live in, in our driveway, that was all good and then him and I got into it again and he said no...he was not going to do that, he is going to find himself a place. Well he looked for a week or so and then stopped so now he was a fixture on the couch working nights sleeping days and I had to pitter patter around here while he was sleeping.

So while my sister was gone, I finally got to enjoy my livingroom and watch my tv and stretch out on the couch. My sister came back from her vacation and we thought he should just stay there, it is a 4 bedroom home and she is by herself there. So he stayed there, but got on his but and started looking again for a place....being 19 is kind of hard to get a landlord to give you a chance. Well we went and looked at a place on Sunday, a basement suite, really nice, they said that they would let him know on Wed, as they had a few people interested. Well they called today and offered it to him. He called me right away and said he got it...he was so excited.

I said I am so happy for you, see you don't have back luck (he said this on Sunday, thinking he had no hope of getting it) he said I know, I said thanks for letting me know son and have a great day, he said and you have a great day to mom.....!!!!! I hung up the phone and cried, he told me to have a good day....he didn't tell me to f off. Then I got a case of the 1st one leaving the nest....oh boy do things come in 3's or what.

Rose