Archive for October 3rd, 2008
Need Advice From Codies who’ve been there
So, now my addict son's druggie girlfriend has landed herself in jail, for probation violation after she ran into some guy and totaled her car, and the ofc arriving at the scene did a routine check and found a warrant out for her. Now, her parents won't bail her out, since they just footed the ticket for her last fiasco last month, her ex won't either, my son CAN'T, but now he wants me to foot the bill for her $500 bond. She has looked me in the face, lied to me, stolen from me and he wants me to bail her out? Says she's "changed". What? In the last two weeks? I don't trust either one of them yet. Trust has to be earned. I've been codie and bailed him out consistently for the last 10 to 15yrs at least, but I've warned him no more, and if he screws up again and gets busted for ANY reason, dirty UA, drug court violation, doesn't matter, he's out....(he lives in the house I own in my absense). I have been paying a lot of his bills, because he's applied for disability, but lately, I've been clamping down, and telling him he has to work out whatever I do or give to him.
On the girlfriend deal, am I wrong in refusing to bail her out? I don't think so, but now I seem to be the villian in the piece because I said no!
I need advice AND prayers for guidance to know God's will and for HIM to just take charge.
:codiepolice
:feedback:
Not my first rodeo…
First post...
Been drinking pretty heavy for 16 years on and off. Like many of you I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight (vodka gatorade's a plenty), 2 arrests on dui charges, lost opportunies with women and possible job advancement, job loss in general, shame, loss of weight due to malnurishment, sweats, shakes, convulsions, depression, money problems.....so on so on......you all know the story. My costs for the neverending benders include: arrests, friendships, girlfriends, scars from fighting, missed appointments, and the worst.....depression and feelings of worthlessness.
The last bender I was on was an 8 day alcohol diet, I missed appointments at work, ruined my relationship with the girl I was dating, lied constantly, passed out 2-3 times a day, and the icing on the cake, smacked the back right of my company car into the side of my garage while in a blackout. That alone could have cost me BIG TIME! The depression and withdrawals I went through following that bender were wicked; sweats, shakes, anxiety, clammy skin, insomnia, nerves shot......
I decided after the last one I would be done with booze, that was over a month ago. I have read many of your posts and I am glad this site is here. That is all for now....just felt like joining this group of people who are like me in knowing we are not good drinkers.
Been drinking pretty heavy for 16 years on and off. Like many of you I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight (vodka gatorade's a plenty), 2 arrests on dui charges, lost opportunies with women and possible job advancement, job loss in general, shame, loss of weight due to malnurishment, sweats, shakes, convulsions, depression, money problems.....so on so on......you all know the story. My costs for the neverending benders include: arrests, friendships, girlfriends, scars from fighting, missed appointments, and the worst.....depression and feelings of worthlessness.
The last bender I was on was an 8 day alcohol diet, I missed appointments at work, ruined my relationship with the girl I was dating, lied constantly, passed out 2-3 times a day, and the icing on the cake, smacked the back right of my company car into the side of my garage while in a blackout. That alone could have cost me BIG TIME! The depression and withdrawals I went through following that bender were wicked; sweats, shakes, anxiety, clammy skin, insomnia, nerves shot......
I decided after the last one I would be done with booze, that was over a month ago. I have read many of your posts and I am glad this site is here. That is all for now....just felt like joining this group of people who are like me in knowing we are not good drinkers.
Relapse again.
I have only been here for just over a week and tonight is my second relapse already. I know it's all my fault to drink but going to an AA meeting was a big step for me and being talked right over while at a meeting before I got one single word out did not help- it triggered alot of harmful feelings, like how I don't matter and should go away and I am drinking again. If AA won't even listen to me (nobody has ever) why bother? I guess I'm not ready so I may as well drink myself sick.
its me again
right now im doing some step-work that my sponsor assigned to me. im a little exhausted and getting myself worked up over something really small. but i guess it doesn't seem small to me, which must be why im typing about it on here. anyway, he told me to write about things i obsess over and things i havent let go of. of course i listed the usual (certain mentalities, ideas about people, stuff like that). i also wrote about something (or rather someone) that i still hold onto. after lookin it over, i decided that i had been "too honest" and tore the page out of my notebook, crumpled it up, and threw it away. then i decided that maybe it i should have left it in there because after all, it was something that i still havent let go of. then (like im so damn good at doing) i changed my mind again. i guess what i'm asking here is if there is such a thing as being "too honest". what i was talking about related to my sex life and i dont know if it belongs in the assignment. its honest, but does it belong in a paper like this or somewhere else?
Appointment tomorrow
I'm going to be up all night. I just know it. I have an appointment for tomorrow at 11:00. Sad thing is I'm dealing with the worry by drinking, I want to get help and go to this appointment. I'm just really scared right now. I don't know what to expect. Is there anyone I can talk to call. I feel really hopeless. I don't want to get into detail. I'm afraid I might say something that I shouldn't and I don't want to hurt anyone.
Thanks
Thanks
It’s a Special Day for mattcake79
:day
HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Love Forever,
SP :kiss:
JFT October 4 - 30 Day Wonder
October 4
Many of us have been “thirty-day wonders.” We were desperate and dying when we showed up at our first NA meeting. We identified with the addicts we met there and the message they shared. With their support, we were finally able to stop using and catch a free breath. For the first time in a long, long time, we felt at home. Overnight, our lives were transformed; we walked, talked, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed Narcotics Anonymous.
Then, Narcotics Anonymous lost its novelty. Meetings that had been a thrill became monotonous. Our wonderful NA friends became bores; their uplifting NA talk, drivel. When our former friends called, inviting us back for some of the old fun, we kissed our recovery goodbye.
Sooner or later, we made our way back to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. Nothing had changed out there, we’d discovered—not us, not our friends, not the drugs, not anything. If anything, it had gotten worse than ever.
True, NA meetings may not be a laugh riot, and our NA friends may not be spiritual giants. But there’s a power in the meetings, a common bond among the members, a life to the program that we can’t do without. Today, our recovery is more than just a fad—it’s a way of life. We’re going to practice living our program like our lives depend on it, because they do.
Just for today: I’m no “thirty-day wonder.” The NA way is my way of life, and I’m here for the duration.
Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Thirty-day wonder
“When we first begin to enjoy relief from our addiction, we run the risk of assuming control of our lives again. We forget the agony and pain that we have known.”
Basic Text, p. 48
––––=––––
––––=––––
Many of us have been “thirty-day wonders.” We were desperate and dying when we showed up at our first NA meeting. We identified with the addicts we met there and the message they shared. With their support, we were finally able to stop using and catch a free breath. For the first time in a long, long time, we felt at home. Overnight, our lives were transformed; we walked, talked, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed Narcotics Anonymous.
Then, Narcotics Anonymous lost its novelty. Meetings that had been a thrill became monotonous. Our wonderful NA friends became bores; their uplifting NA talk, drivel. When our former friends called, inviting us back for some of the old fun, we kissed our recovery goodbye.
Sooner or later, we made our way back to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. Nothing had changed out there, we’d discovered—not us, not our friends, not the drugs, not anything. If anything, it had gotten worse than ever.
True, NA meetings may not be a laugh riot, and our NA friends may not be spiritual giants. But there’s a power in the meetings, a common bond among the members, a life to the program that we can’t do without. Today, our recovery is more than just a fad—it’s a way of life. We’re going to practice living our program like our lives depend on it, because they do.
––––=––––
Just for today: I’m no “thirty-day wonder.” The NA way is my way of life, and I’m here for the duration.
Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved
It’s a Special Day for mattcake79
:day
HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Love Forever,
SP :kiss:
It’s me…again…Exaybachay
So...I've done this before...and it's time for another go. I am an alcoholic...no question about it. I had about 75+ days sober and then made a really stupid mistake...a REALLY dumb mistake. God, I really hate these initial posts. I feel like such a cliche. The same "stuff" time and again. I was sober...for the longest time... in a long while. Some stuff happened. My stuff. I thought that it was ok to have one drink...god, it never is. Fast forward 45 days and I am in a bad place. Exaybachay. I'm here because like before I have nowhere else to go. I can say that I have never been to an AA meeting...I just don't know the rules and what to expect. When they say "closed meeting" what type of credentials do I need to get in? What's an open meeting? I'm young, but medically speaking, if I continue much longer like this, I will die...this has been confirmed. My alcoholism has controlled my life for so long that I don't know how to build the simplest of relationships...I know that there is hope; I have seen it it. It is absolutely wonderful. For all of you wondering if it really is good on the other side...I can tell you, from my experience, it is...and, like I said, from the brief glimpse that I've had...it's like nothing we've seen. So, I guess, right now, I just looking to get back to day one. The most humble place any of us can find. Any words; any thoughts are appreciated. First time experiences with AA are greatly appreciated. I have lived all over the world...have picked up shop and moved to foreign countries on more than one occasion and that never phased me...yet opening that door to my first AA meeting has been a wall that I have never been able to overcome. Any thoughts on what to expect would be appreciated in ways that I could never express...like I said...it's me...again...Exaybachay.
1 WHOLE month Today!
yay. lol. One month - sober. I'm too deadly! lol. So very alone - yes but sane and safe and sound of mind: Sobriety is so divine, so safe and, so true for us who've been through hell. I want to forever dance filled with the holy spirit, around the primordial fire of life and truth. The demons that dwell in the bottle, like a seventh level magician; are contained only by the fragile faith of the trespassed. Forever safe in sobriety, like a temple of sanctity I bansihed my fear to the strong rivers of hell: Never to take upon myself the drunking punishment of the demons who danced in my heart- Ever again. Peace out.
:day4
:day4
