Drug Rehab Options Blog

has anyone experienced a recovering addict that has a problem with emotions.

I'm mean all emotions, love, hate, guilt, sorrow, all of them.
my son is a good guy and wouldn't do anything to hurt someones feelings, but if for some reason he does, he lacks the remorse. He won't be ignorant about it, he'll just remain quiet because he knows he doesn't feel what he should feel. I hope I'm explaining this right. I was watching celebrity rehab and amber said she can't feel things anymore and I'm wondering if this is a natural accurance with recovering addicts. And will these emotions return?
by the way he is 1 yr sober this month. yippie!!!!!

I had a great meeting today - we talked about "detaching with love."

One of our group members is really struggling with letting go of her son's addiction. Her life is a whirlwind of phone calls, court dates, hospital bills, custody hearings, etc... She takes a step away from the chaos only to be overcome with guilt and anguish for abandoning someone who needs her so much.

She said, crying, "When I try to take care of myself he tells me that I don't care about him, and I just can't stand for him to think that!"

But it was SO clear, to everyone there, to anyone looking at this woman, that she cares about her son with all her heart. She was willing to do anything to help him.

Yet, because he couldn't recognize her caring, she began to doubt it, herself.

I could see, in her struggle, many of my issues.
This nagging belief that if my addict didn't feel loved, it was because I was not being loving enough, not responding correctly, answering harshly. That my behavior was the problem.

I couldn't stand for my A to think that I was a bad, unloving person, because, for so long, I looked to him to tell me that I was good.

Recovery from codependency teaches me that "what other people think of me is none of my business".
I love that.
It is so freeing.

I know my intentions (most of the time!), and I no longer look to someone else to confirm or validate them for me.

Have a great night, everybody.
Thanks for letting me share!

-TC

Long story short - my b/f and I broke up three years ago. He is an addict/alkie, but I was his: body, heart and soul.

With and without drugs, we had the best times and we just "fit" together. Let's just say, we have to be apart. It's the best thing for all concerned. He is the father of my child, will always be in my life and I will always love him.

Basically, I felt horrible, I wanted to die, but instead I drank and took painkillers for three years. Which I am now trying to stop. But it is really hurting. It is like we just broke up.

I can see myself coping with everyday life again, the stresses and stuff, but this emotional stuff from so long ago has just come up and smacked me so hard. I'm one second away from crying all the time.

Having the mentality of a two year old, I want someone to say something magical that is going to take all my pain away!!!

Today is my 8th day without a drink. Last time I only made it 11 days so I am anxious to hit that "hump". I have had random thoughts about a drink but for the most part, they are not cravings.

I am trying to figure out why I started drinking again.... aside from being an addict, lol.... I didn't have the kids (I NEVER drink when I have my kids, thankfully) and my husband asked me to watch our business for a couple of hours and I think I felt FREE. No kids... no being stuck at home... a time for a little socializing... and it was easy to go across the street to the only liquor store in town and get two mini vodkas... so I did... and then I wanted to keep that buzz going... so on the way home I got a bigger vodka and waited until the kids were in bed and DH watching TV to have a sip. I told myself it would last over a week.... after passing out that night, I realized the next morning that I had had HALF of it... and I poured the rest out... but that didn't stop me from getting more for the next night... And I wonder why I do that? I don't feel GOOD when I drink. I am not HAPPY when I drink. I am mean to my husband and say terrible things to him... and then don't remember saying them...

Anyway, it's day 8 and I am having a GOOD DAY and that is what counts... I am so happy to be sober TODAY!!!

three months, three weeks sober. but brand new to this forum, so i guess i just thought i'd say hello. i'm finding sobriety lonely as hell, and i guess i thought this might be a nice place to come and talk about it (sobriety). i'm your garden variety drunk, really. been living in london for two plus years, used ever day, all day. before that in new york, same thing some times replaced with bulimia. five years constant use of some substance. booze specifically, although i was deemed a hallucinogenic addict in rehab as well. moved back from london to my parents home in the bible belt, hence the lonely sentiments of late. anyway, that's me, just wanted to say hello.

Hi yal, I am ok today- I hope everyone here is as well.

I just had a quick question- I have been actively practicing - acceptance and detatchment with my addict boyfriend.

As some of you know- I'm trying to gain the strength to ask him to leave, for the last time. I want to make sure I am strong and healthy enough to do it, as to not take him back again once he is gone.

Long story short- (as possible) I have had a decent week of practicing acceptance, and letting go- detatchment. With that being said, i won't argue with my him, I won't call and see if he is on his way, what his plans are, if he's ok... the list goes on.

I am simply going about my life- more than I ever have. It is not fake, it isn't even that hard for me this time. (as I wrote in a post a few days ago, I just feel numb), He can destroy his life, I just won't allow it to destroy mine anylonger. If he wants to stay out all night.... then he will be the one tired in the a.m... Im not gonna wait up to cry, worry, yell- you get the picture.

Anyhoo the question is- he is feeling my new attitude. He asks "what wrong" he say i seem "aloof" i seem "cold"to him. He suddenly cares about our intamate relationship- (when he hasn't cared in months). He is calling now (often) during the day with "hey sweetie, hows ur day. Whats up w/you latley"

I know he notices the shift, but I do not intend to explain ANY OF THIS TO HIM because if I do, I KNOW him, he's crafty and will either turn it into an argument, or will torture me in some fashion.

Sooooo, (sorry this is long) how do I continue on (making good progress) and NOT DISCUSS this with him? How do even stay in my relationship at this point- when I frankly don't feel like working with him/on him anymore? I only am concerned with myself..... He hasn't changed one bit, and I do not want to waste my breath explaining any of this to him-

For I know he will manipulate and twist all the good I've done for myself. Any suggestions.
Thankyou for listening,
Cessy

Today my RAD turned 23. It has been a long journey. Addict behavoir still sneaks up on her, but she will usually catch it & have some kind of a joke to say. She worked from 4 till 9:30ish wed night waitressing, then went to the halfway house & did 11pm-7am. I didn't realize she would be the only staff member there for the night. gulp. But everything was fine. She slept for a few hours then came here for Thanksgiving dinner, went to her boyfriend (ex fiance) house. She went shopping at 4:30 am with a friend & her boyfriend, then went to work waitressing for the day shift, then worked in the kitchen for the night shift. She is happy as all get out cuz she got a WII on their shopping outing. She will prob crash & burn tomorrow. But it is so nice to see that she has life & friends beyond addiction. Anything is possable. Hang on, your addict children just might surprise you.

I think you can, as far as outgrowing a specific addiction to something. I think that, like a bump in a rug, if one is squashed another will pop up somewhere and I doubt if you could "outgrow" all addictions/being an addict/having "an addictive personality". I say this because a couple years ago I drank like 7 shots of tequila a day and I had seizures from alcohol withdrawal. I HAD to drink. if I wasn't supposed to be drinking somewhere, I would go into the bathroom, lock the door, and drink. Definitely alcoholic behavior. However, today I was offered a glass of wine with Thanksgiving dinner and I said ok. I drank half a glass and I just didn't want any. I didn't like the taste or the way I felt at all and I haven't had anything before that for a couple months. I can take it or leave it. This isn't some twisted alcoholic method of justifying to myself that I can drink either; I honestly wouldn't mind if I was never able to drink again. Has this ever happened to anyone else? Did it only happen with 1 drug?

was Ok, actually (no tears or deep depression) , but I kept hoping she would show up at the restaurant or call at the last minute or something.

I have no idea whether she's just pissed off at me (we had an argument a week ago - she was talking a bunch of addict nonsense and I reacted), or she could be in treatment (possibly) and in the no-contact detox thing. She was talking about a rehab that would take her by charity care last week when I saw her. But, no phone call and no news either way. Typical.
I left a "happy thanksgiving, (etc)" text message for her this morning.

My husband and I ate out and wrote gratitude lists! Now I'm at work, which is fine by me.

I hope Christmas has her at least calling and acknowledging her dear old mom! (Poor me!!!) .

Sometimes, I don't know were I stand! I'v been on and of drugs for yrs around the rooms 5 times. In and out of hospitals rehabs etc... Yah I can stay clean if I want too!! Or it seems that way!!

I struggle with even believing that im addicted. Because its so easy for me to get clean if i want too. The issue is staying clean. You see Ive had allot of stuff going on lately and you would think i would have picked up but actually i stopped using!!! honestly I feel comfortable with it.

I don't go to meetings They make me paranoid!!!!???? I know I have allot of character defects. I really don't think I can say that i'm powerless though because i'm choosing not to use and that's that, so how can i be powerless? I'm not using, not going to meetings, have no friends that use anymore and no money to even get any thing with. SO, I ask myself am I an addict, alcoholic and any other itc. you could add to the end of a word? So, back to my question what makes me powerless?

In the past i have gotten a few sponsors over the yrs yet never even came close to completing the first step with anything close to a dignified way!