Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hi guys... I stumbled here from probably out of the void.

Im currently a 22 year old addict to heroin and any opiate i can get ahold of... for that matter any psychoactive pills seems to vanish in my wake.

I just took a six hour nap to avoid my family as I am home from college for the 'holidays'. I realized the only place left that has any real friends, promise, or relations with the opposite sex is only in my dreams.

They dont know yet i medically withdrew from that semester based off my kidney problems and instead spent the near whole time doped out of my mind.

I get opiates for my kidney, which i have contemplated suicide over as well as blasting it with a bullet to get it removed. It DOES hurt and if they cant tell whats wrong and why it hurts i wonder why i may someday be forced to make "sure" its fixed.

But i digress and look loony, Im only 22, I have a 10 month old daughter... and my life is a wreck and may get only worse.

I just nabbed a bottle of wine and tho alcohol is NOT my poison of choice it will do for now... for now...

I do know that im clean right now aside from the boos and such tonight... But if i get $120 im going to go out an score faster than you can say "merry christmas charlie brown".


I want help, I know im sick and have some serious addiction issues... But i cant admit to there being a real a caring compassionate God... I dont believe in such a higher power and that grounds me a little...(logic wont let me believe otherwise). I dont believe addicts are ever cured I just believe they manage to stay clean long periods of time... years and years even but that slip is just around the corner. Im sober today and I dont know about tomorrow...


(ps. The name is based off of a River's name in Hell as well as my birth year.)

Hi guys... I stumbled here from probably out of the void.

Im currently a 22 year old addict to heroin and any opiate i can get ahold of... for that matter any psychoactive pills seems to vanish in my wake.

I just took a six hour nap to avoid my family as I am home from college for the 'holidays'. I realized the only place left that has any real friends, promise, or relations with the opposite sex is only in my dreams.

They dont know yet i medically withdrew from that semester based off my kidney problems and instead spent the near whole time doped out of my mind.

I get opiates for my kidney, which i have contemplated suicide over as well as blasting it with a bullet to get it removed. It DOES hurt and if they cant tell whats wrong and why it hurts i wonder why i may someday be forced to make "sure" its fixed.

But i digress and look loony, Im only 22, I have a 10 month old daughter... and my life is a wreck and may get only worse.

I just nabbed a bottle of wine and tho alcohol is NOT my poison of choice it will do for now... for now...

I do know that im clean right now aside from the boos and such tonight... But if i get $120 im going to go out an score faster than you can say "merry christmas charlie brown".


I want help, I know im sick and have some serious addiction issues... But i cant admit to there being a real a caring compassionate God... I dont believe in such a higher power and that grounds me a little...(logic wont let me believe otherwise). I dont believe addicts are ever cured I just believe they manage to stay clean long periods of time... years and years even but that slip is just around the corner. Im sober today and I dont know about tomorrow... :a122:


(ps. The name is based off of a River's name in Hell as well as my birth year.)

Hi everyone,

I just was reading another post, and a member said they were addicted to opiates prior to turning to crack.....

Ho boy did that frighten me....

Is that typical with addiction? I had never thought about that before.

Sure, having a abf who is in denial about his drug abuse is bad enough. He says he can give up the alcohol, and coke he only does with his buddies, once and a while..... bla bla bla bla

For some reason he admitts a prob. with the pain pills- but still refuses to get help. Everyday I do believe he has the intention to do something about it, but I truely believe it is "easier" for him to just swallow a pill and say..."tomorrow will be the day I quit".

It is very sad to me. I have been working on detatchment, I am attempting to love him and let him go-

As I've said before, free the caged animal. He needs to fall flat on his face- all alone. I'm not willing to engage in any type of conversation with him about the following (when he will get help, why he continues to use, why he dosen't follow through on his promisise, etc.)

HOWEVER- I just read a post and I thought to myself Holly crap, what if he turns to crack next??????

Then I quickly said to myself, don't worry about it. Nothing I can do to control it if he does......

My question is, does addiction continue to go from one drug the next??

I don't want to even be concerned - as I have plenty to be concerned with as it is.........

But I am.

Any ideas or thoughts? P.s..... I still don't get the whole detatchment idea. I'm trying soooooooooooooo hard. I don't question him anylonger, I let him be. (for the most part)

I know I'm jumping all over the place here, but one example that I need to ask about is as follows:

He was on the couch watching a movie last night, I cuddled up to him and we talked like old pals, everything is fine, because If I don't bang him out about his "addiction issues" then our home is in great shape.

I FEEL LIKE THAT IS IGNORING THE BIG PINK ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM........
so what is detatching really supposed to feel like????

Please, any responses on either matter would be appreciated.....
Love
Cessy

I found this on a site called adequacy.org. I can relate to it. I am on day 2 (well, day three now) off of Marijuana and I plan to keep at it. I'm tired of the stuff and want to see how I do without. I have many friends who smoke a lot more than I ever did and seem to function fine, but I don't know. I actually find myself envying these people as they seem a lot more functional and creatively prolific than I do. However, my ex-boyfriend has a breathing problem he is in denial about and as a result of smoking pot with his daughter (probably since she was 17), he is now reaping the consequences of her other addiction issues.

As my friend Dylan said, "sooner or later the piper must be paid for addiction of any kind."

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You most likely already have the wrong ideas in your head about this article. Unfortunately this website has been tainted by the editorial dominance of Right Wingers, so any preconceptions you may hold are to be forgiven. Let me state up front that we will not be discussing the morality of the drug war, "gateway drugs", legalization, glaucoma or hemp. The title is Why marijuana is the worst drug. We will be evaluating it solely in comparison to other narcotics and mind altering substances.

Marijuana is an insideous beast. It has a tendency to insinuate its way completely into the everyday lives of its users. No, this doesn't happen to all users. Many many people only smoke once in awhile and never fall into the lifestyle of the habitual pot head, but the proclivity of marijuana to become a central part of its users existance is undeniable.

Some other drugs have this tendency as well, but the only ones that do so on the same level are opiates. Even though methamphetamine and cocaine are highly addictive they don't lend themselves to the same type of total, long-term personality saturation. Unlike the habitual marijuana user, you can't take equivalent amounts of speed or coke every day for more than a couple years without totally destroying your life. They are drugs that reinforce the concept of moderation, at least among users who value their lives.

Sure, we all know that guy who spends entire weeks tripping, or the chick who goes clubbing on ecstacy almost every night of the week. The difference is that these people are the exceptions, and they never keep at it for very long. Their activities are more a function of age and transitory lifestyle than of the drugs themselves.

Some would argue that alcohol fits the same lifestyle-saturation pattern as marijuana and opiates like heroin. Some may even suggest that cigarettes fall into this category. What sets them apart is a matter of degree. Having a drink to relax is fundamentally different than getting a little stoned to relax. Even a little stoned is still stoned, and you still have glazed eyes, a stupid grin, and an inability to carry on a decent conversation with non-stoned people. Yes, there are alcoholics, but they are definitely a small minority. As for cigarettes, the narcotic effect is so miniscule as to almost not be worth mentioning.

The tendency of other drugs to inforce moderation in their users can usually be rightfully seen as corollary to their potential danger to the user. In this light marijuana may seem superior in that it doesn't present such a health risk. However, it is that risk that keeps those other drugs in their proper place.

A drug is something that alters you and changes how you react to the world. If you engage in drug use on weekends or special occassions then you are essentially taking a break from life. You are on a drug-induced vacation. But if you take drugs damn-near every day then your use takes on a whole different meaning. You are not doing it to have fun anymore, you are taking medication.

Are you a habitual marijuana smoker? Do you need daily medication from life? How did you get to this point? You started smoking with your friends when you were out having a good time. It enhanced the fun. What changed?

The above points can be addressed with the same answer to the question of what makes marijuana worse than heroin and opium. Unlike those drugs, marijuana lies. Every junkie knows that they are a junkie. Every person who wastes away each evening in an opium den knows that they themselves are also wasting away. Every other drug out there reminds its users that, no matter how much enjoyment they receive, there is a price to be paid. Every one except marijuana.

Marijuana tells you that you are a better person for having smoked marijuana. Marijuana tells you that you are more creative when you smoke marijuana. Marijuana tells you that it helps you concentrate. What marijuana doesn't tell you is that you feel more creative because you have lost the ability to judge your work from the vantage point of someone who isn't stoned. It doesn't tell you that it replaced your critical thinking skills with the naive wonder of a six year old. It doesn't tell you that your present vague awareness of your surroundings is not the same thing as being relaxed and at peace. And most importantly, it doesn't tell you that when you become an habitual user its effects persist even when you are not longer stoned.

The similarities of former marijuana smokers' testimonials should tell you something. "After two weeks it was like a haze was removed from my life." "I felt like I had finally woken up." "I couldn't believe how much more alive I felt after a month away from it."

Any drug that takes two to four weeks of non-usage before you even realize what a mess you were is seriously evil. Drugs that deceive are not to be trusted. If a drug's entire purpose is not to have fun, but rather to make the user believe that the drug itself is harmless and has little real effect, then what point is there in taking that drug?

I just saw a specialist for my back. I have a herniated disk that seems to come and go with pain. The doctor know about my addiction issues and did not prescribe any narcotics. However, I was prescribed a large amount of these muscle relaxers (Roboxin). I am getting different opinion from different people (doctors included) as to whether these can be addicting. Any experience with this?

thanks, tib

Before I became and a drug addict, I was a gambling addict who used some drugs. When I stopped gambling I became a full blown addict and hit bottom after a few years. So I know I have addiction issues.

Well while on a business trip this week, I went to a Casino. It was kind of a calculated decision. I felt I needed to seek a thrill, reward myself, do something 'naughty', escape reality. I weighed up drink, my DOC or the casino. Casino won.

Spent 2 hours there, and left to experience the full consequence of relapse. Panic, remorse, guilt etc.

Came home and owned up to my wife. She is really disapointed as all the trust issues I have worked on for the last 2 years re emerge.

So a relapse.....

Well, I know I am still a gambling addict Lol!

And I know i need to work harder on my recovery. And I know I have to remember once an addict always an addict.. And I know I am total addict - need to watch food, sex, drugs, drink, gambling, whatever. Its all or nothing for me.

I am grateful I never used my DOC, as I am sure the cravings would have been so strong again.

It was in some ways a relatively small relapse. Like a gentle reminder that I am in trouble with my recovery and need to proceed with strong caution and lots of sponsor guidance!

I am pleased I came clean to my wife. I hope in time she will forgive me. I know for her its a huge deal - as all the addict issues come to the fore again.

I told her that for me its aleways there. Staying cleanis an ongoing struggle. I do not think this was helpful! my truth, but not what she wanted to hear...

So its time to get the step work book out and schedule some time with my sponsor.

Oh, and I wonder if there is any correlation between not getting my lazy arse to a meeting in 3 weeks (my longest non attendnance since starting recovery) and my relapse.

MMmmm will have to think about that:e088:

thanks for letting me share

and AH walked out. He told the counselor that he had stayed sober for a year but that I hadn't changed the fact that my house is a mess. The counselor asked him if that was supposed to be justification for his drinking and he basically just got up and walked out. All the counselor said was that it was apparent that he doesnt want to address his addiction issues. I also told the counselor in front of him that I am adament that he will not keep the kids while he is drinking. It didn't sit well but Im standing my ground. AH said that he is worried about the kids and all but he has basically become a part time dad. It is supposedly to stressful for him to watch the kids here. The counselor asked why he didn't take the kids to a park or someplace AH was like well I cant live with them in a park.


I did have a moment during the appointment where I busted out in tears and told AH that I f*%#% hated him. I don't really hate him, but at the same time I'm so tired of the things that he does and says. After he left the counselor and I talked for a while longer. I am really excited to work with him annd get some of my issues figured out. It feels so freeing to be able to finally deal with the emotions and stuff that I have developed over the last decade with him and to finally figure out some of my interests that I had long forgotten about.

Major vent alert.....How I wished I paid attention to the red flags of my XAH addiction issues 20 years ago because not only am I paying a price but so are my precious children. He sees absolutely nothing wrong with leaving them unattended at night so he can be with his friends or just ditching them while doing all kinds of fun things for himself like golfing, sporting events, parties while doing little with his kids. Scorecard: Fun for him 30...fun for kids 3.

Somehow in his sick mind he justifies it while I get the fun of dealing with hurting,abandoned, rage-filled kids and then he plays the mind games with them such as "I was only golfing with my boss" or "I'm not spending any money going to that pro-ball game cause I'm riding with friends." Right now the kids sincerely buy his line of bull.

I come from a home were both parents were A's, mom died of a stroke when I was a young teen and she was a recently recovered card-carrying member of AA at the time of her death. I've blocked out most memories of her and don't remember the sober mom. Dad, after her death, spiraled into a self-absorbed wonderland of ladies, pot, and drinking.

I raised myself and denied things were as bad as they were. I was so isolated I could have been an island and learned quickly to avoid the topic of "girl with a dead mom" as no one that age wants to even think about that possibility.

I know those issues are triggering my problems of today. My lovely XAH has lots of fun pushing those old abandonment buttons and now that I am out of the way and not rescuing his relationship with the kids it is very apparent to me just how sick of an A he really is. He however goes on quacking and blaming me acting like barely seeing his kids is in the kids' best interest, and somehow when the youngest has trouble with him it is all my fault because I talk to them about how dad is an A and he is sick. I tell them his behavior has nothing to do witht them etc...

And I hurt to the core of my being and have such trouble accepting that this is my kids' reality. I want to fight it tooth and nail. His abandonment of them equals rage in me and I need to figure out how to stop that unhealthy (for me and the kids) process.

The kids' counselor wants them to see him separately because of problems with rage filled tantrums with the youngest and hours long crying sessions after the visits with me. This strategy was helping her feel special with dad but he "forgets" to arrange the visits and then acts like he never heard of it before. Tells me the counselor is nuts and what if he got a counselor and that one disagreed......... quack, quack, quack. I tell him to hire his own counselor or take me to court ( and I want to say you %$#%$@#$!!!! )

I hurt for my children because I know what this is like. I tell you it was easier for me to have a dead mom than be abandoned by my very alive dad.

Right now I'm teetering over the cliff of falling into my obseesion again and so it helps to get it out how mad I am at me and at HIM. I am really MAD AT HIM --- HOW DARE HE DO THIS TO OUR KIDS.

I kind of feel better but I think I need a good cry. Thanks for listening.