Archive for the ‘Addiction’ tag
Slipped, contact with AH last night.
AH # is blocked from my phones but he can still text me. I got a text last night saying he was angry and ashamed for the hurt he causes me, the woman he loves. He's never lived alone before and said it was a humbling experience (no ****, I've done it for a yr and a half and I'm doing it again). He said he knows he needs help. I did bring it up to him how fortunate he was to be alive after his recent intentional OD. I told him how incredibly scared I was to see him in such a condition, which brought on a few tears. He said I saw it for myself and it scared the poop out of me so he could only imagine how I felt ( I taped him on my cell phone in that condition because I wanted him to see what he was like).
I sent the video to him after he had gone. He says "someone is watching over me" and reminded me of two other situations in which he escaped catastrophic injury/death.
He has my RA brothers number but hasn't called him. " I can hardly think of my problems myself, I can't talk to a stranger about them".
I told him I have forgiven him at that I know his disease is the one in control of his life. I asked if he had a plan since he said I need help. He said "no". He just kept saying he loves me and misses me. That he sees all the family's coming out to eat together and knows that's what he wants but he knows I will not tolerate his addiction. So, I'm thinking to myself " go get help".
He was calling himself a looser and so on and I said STOP that it only leads you back to your addiction. I finally said to him that I do believe he loves me but that his love is limited as his addiction is his first love, if it weren't he'd be on his hands and knees begging for help. He said I was right and that he was afraid to give it up and fail again. I said think about what you just said afraid to give it up over your wife and your children and most of all for your peace and serenity. He doesn't want the no contact boundary I said I am putting in place after this last conversation.
No matter what I always kept in contact with him. My RA brother said get out of his way and let him live his life the way he chooses knowing that I will not be a part of it even if it's just contact. RA brother said in eleven yrs you have come far. You've kicked him out when he was using not going back on your decision no matter how hard it has been for you. But he continues to use. He knows he can call you and that you are the one person who loves him unconditionally. Maybe if you are not there and he don't have you to call when he's down and feeling guilty and ashamed it will sink through to him that he can't have his addiction and an emotional connection with you too!!
RA brother said you could be the key to him seeking out recovery for himself but you don't know because you've never gotten completely out of his way. Makes sense to me but AH doesn't like that idea at all (surprise). I said I talk to you and end up having/creating expectations which only hurts me when those expectations don't come to fruition. He did understand that and said he doesn't want to hurt me anymore yet it hurts him not to be able to hear my voice. I told him that I loved him and that no contact was not a way for me to punish him but simply for me and my commitment to take care of me. I told him if he ever decides to seek help, is active in recovery with solid proof of such I'd be happy to hear from him. He said "ok, I understand. I love you" and we said good-bye. I CAN do this. I know I CAN. No more slips. I pray for God's strength because this is my weakest area.
I sent the video to him after he had gone. He says "someone is watching over me" and reminded me of two other situations in which he escaped catastrophic injury/death.
He has my RA brothers number but hasn't called him. " I can hardly think of my problems myself, I can't talk to a stranger about them".
I told him I have forgiven him at that I know his disease is the one in control of his life. I asked if he had a plan since he said I need help. He said "no". He just kept saying he loves me and misses me. That he sees all the family's coming out to eat together and knows that's what he wants but he knows I will not tolerate his addiction. So, I'm thinking to myself " go get help".
He was calling himself a looser and so on and I said STOP that it only leads you back to your addiction. I finally said to him that I do believe he loves me but that his love is limited as his addiction is his first love, if it weren't he'd be on his hands and knees begging for help. He said I was right and that he was afraid to give it up and fail again. I said think about what you just said afraid to give it up over your wife and your children and most of all for your peace and serenity. He doesn't want the no contact boundary I said I am putting in place after this last conversation.
No matter what I always kept in contact with him. My RA brother said get out of his way and let him live his life the way he chooses knowing that I will not be a part of it even if it's just contact. RA brother said in eleven yrs you have come far. You've kicked him out when he was using not going back on your decision no matter how hard it has been for you. But he continues to use. He knows he can call you and that you are the one person who loves him unconditionally. Maybe if you are not there and he don't have you to call when he's down and feeling guilty and ashamed it will sink through to him that he can't have his addiction and an emotional connection with you too!!
RA brother said you could be the key to him seeking out recovery for himself but you don't know because you've never gotten completely out of his way. Makes sense to me but AH doesn't like that idea at all (surprise). I said I talk to you and end up having/creating expectations which only hurts me when those expectations don't come to fruition. He did understand that and said he doesn't want to hurt me anymore yet it hurts him not to be able to hear my voice. I told him that I loved him and that no contact was not a way for me to punish him but simply for me and my commitment to take care of me. I told him if he ever decides to seek help, is active in recovery with solid proof of such I'd be happy to hear from him. He said "ok, I understand. I love you" and we said good-bye. I CAN do this. I know I CAN. No more slips. I pray for God's strength because this is my weakest area.
JFT December 3
December 3
Vision without limits
?Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life.?
Basic Text, p. 35
In our addiction, our vision of ourselves was very limited. Each day, we went through the same routine: getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more. And that?s all we could reasonably expect for the duration of our lives. Our potential was limited.
Today, our prospects are changed. Recovery has given us a new vision of ourselves and our lives. We are no longer trapped in the endlessly gray routine of addiction. We are free to stretch ourselves in new ways, trying out new ideas and new activities. In doing so, we come to see ourselves in a new way. Our potential is limited only by the strength of the Higher Power that cares for us?and that strength has no limits.
In recovery, life and everything in it appears open to us. Guided by our spiritual principles, driven by the power given us by the God of our understanding, our horizons are limitless.
????=????
Just for today: I will open my eyes to the possibilities before me. My potential is as limitless and as powerful as the God of my understanding. Today, I will act on that potential.
Vision without limits
?Perhaps for the first time, we see a vision of our new life.?
Basic Text, p. 35
In our addiction, our vision of ourselves was very limited. Each day, we went through the same routine: getting, using, and finding ways and means to get more. And that?s all we could reasonably expect for the duration of our lives. Our potential was limited.
Today, our prospects are changed. Recovery has given us a new vision of ourselves and our lives. We are no longer trapped in the endlessly gray routine of addiction. We are free to stretch ourselves in new ways, trying out new ideas and new activities. In doing so, we come to see ourselves in a new way. Our potential is limited only by the strength of the Higher Power that cares for us?and that strength has no limits.
In recovery, life and everything in it appears open to us. Guided by our spiritual principles, driven by the power given us by the God of our understanding, our horizons are limitless.
????=????
Just for today: I will open my eyes to the possibilities before me. My potential is as limitless and as powerful as the God of my understanding. Today, I will act on that potential.
Can I please ask for some countdown support?
Hi guys, I know I am only new here (today), but I am starting to stuggle, and have no support, well I do, I have my wonderfull husband and my oldest daughter who is 19, but I can beat them with all sorts of excuses and good intentions, I never lie, but they fall for any reason I give then about being in controll or that it is better for me to have another drink.
I am cutting down on my intake because I don't want to detox in a center again because it is so far from my husband and children and if I go back they will keep me there for 3-4 months and we can't afford for my family to travel & visit me, my children are my life, and I quit rehab last time because I couldn't see them, and I ended up severely depressed.
Also they put me on drugs to stop seizures, which are some of the same I had a 12 year addiction to (I have been clean from them for 12 years now) and I like thm too much, they scare the bejebers out of me, so I need to do it this way.
I used to drink 3ltres of wine per day 14% and had to detox in a center because of seizures, now I am down to 10 cans per day of beers at 4%, I need to knock off 2 cans per day now, to get to a point where I can safely detox at home, but now I am struggling.
I am scared, and the more scared I get, the more I want a drink, it sux big time and I feel like I am close to losing it and going backward.
I guess I am asking for some tips/tricks/hints on keeping on reducing my intake so I can stop in a few days time.
Any help would be so appreciated, thankyou guys.
I am cutting down on my intake because I don't want to detox in a center again because it is so far from my husband and children and if I go back they will keep me there for 3-4 months and we can't afford for my family to travel & visit me, my children are my life, and I quit rehab last time because I couldn't see them, and I ended up severely depressed.
Also they put me on drugs to stop seizures, which are some of the same I had a 12 year addiction to (I have been clean from them for 12 years now) and I like thm too much, they scare the bejebers out of me, so I need to do it this way.
I used to drink 3ltres of wine per day 14% and had to detox in a center because of seizures, now I am down to 10 cans per day of beers at 4%, I need to knock off 2 cans per day now, to get to a point where I can safely detox at home, but now I am struggling.
I am scared, and the more scared I get, the more I want a drink, it sux big time and I feel like I am close to losing it and going backward.
I guess I am asking for some tips/tricks/hints on keeping on reducing my intake so I can stop in a few days time.
Any help would be so appreciated, thankyou guys.
Tuesday night Recve\
"AAA (All Addicts Anonymous) Meeting"
in the SR CHATROOM
Tuesday at 9:00 pm Eastern Standard Time
in the SR CHATROOM
Tuesday at 9:00 pm Eastern Standard Time
Need to work out your timezone? The World Clock – Time Zone Converter
^^^^^:grinattk: ^^^^^^^^^^ :grinattk:^^^^^
If you are sober, currently in recovery, or still struggling with alcohol, drugs, or any type of addiction, feel free to join us for a group discussion! You are more than welcome to suggest any topic you want to discuss or just come and listen.
We look forward to seeing both old and new SR.com members, and discussing addiction and sobriety!
See you there! :ghug
Click here to go to meeting -----> AAA meeting
External Validation
I had a great meeting today - we talked about "detaching with love."
One of our group members is really struggling with letting go of her son's addiction. Her life is a whirlwind of phone calls, court dates, hospital bills, custody hearings, etc... She takes a step away from the chaos only to be overcome with guilt and anguish for abandoning someone who needs her so much.
She said, crying, "When I try to take care of myself he tells me that I don't care about him, and I just can't stand for him to think that!"
But it was SO clear, to everyone there, to anyone looking at this woman, that she cares about her son with all her heart. She was willing to do anything to help him.
Yet, because he couldn't recognize her caring, she began to doubt it, herself.
I could see, in her struggle, many of my issues.
This nagging belief that if my addict didn't feel loved, it was because I was not being loving enough, not responding correctly, answering harshly. That my behavior was the problem.
I couldn't stand for my A to think that I was a bad, unloving person, because, for so long, I looked to him to tell me that I was good.
Recovery from codependency teaches me that "what other people think of me is none of my business".
I love that.
It is so freeing.
I know my intentions (most of the time!), and I no longer look to someone else to confirm or validate them for me.
Have a great night, everybody.
Thanks for letting me share!
-TC
One of our group members is really struggling with letting go of her son's addiction. Her life is a whirlwind of phone calls, court dates, hospital bills, custody hearings, etc... She takes a step away from the chaos only to be overcome with guilt and anguish for abandoning someone who needs her so much.
She said, crying, "When I try to take care of myself he tells me that I don't care about him, and I just can't stand for him to think that!"
But it was SO clear, to everyone there, to anyone looking at this woman, that she cares about her son with all her heart. She was willing to do anything to help him.
Yet, because he couldn't recognize her caring, she began to doubt it, herself.
I could see, in her struggle, many of my issues.
This nagging belief that if my addict didn't feel loved, it was because I was not being loving enough, not responding correctly, answering harshly. That my behavior was the problem.
I couldn't stand for my A to think that I was a bad, unloving person, because, for so long, I looked to him to tell me that I was good.
Recovery from codependency teaches me that "what other people think of me is none of my business".
I love that.
It is so freeing.
I know my intentions (most of the time!), and I no longer look to someone else to confirm or validate them for me.
Have a great night, everybody.
Thanks for letting me share!
-TC
The Power and Progression of Prayer in Recovery
To qualify all of this, I am not subscribed to any organized religion. Although I believe there is much value in the teachings of all religions, I don't like God as I understand him to have rules imposed by others. That is one of the beautiful things about 12 step programs to me, I can relate to a God of my understanding.
With that said, prayer has become a very important part of my recovery. It didn't happen overnight, and I still have a long way to go. Going from cursing God every morning for waking me up another day, to thanking him for the same reason is a humbling thing. What's interesting to me, is how my prayer life has progressed throughout my recovery. That includes my previous unsuccessful attempts.
I started out like most probably do, praying in disbelief. Was there really a God? If there was why did he care about me after all the terrible things I had done? Most of all, why would he want to help me? Those feelings slowly passed, as I saw the intrinsic benefits of prayer. I didn't want to believe, I really didn't. It all started with those foxhole prayers during my addiction, "God please help me", "Get me out of this, I swear I'll never do it again" and so forth. One day that please help me prayer was answered, and my life was never the same.
As things have progressed my prayers have become more complex. More thought goes into them. First I thank God for keeping me clean and sober that day, then I continue into other prayers. Prayers for my own well being, for those I love and care about, and strangely enough for those I hold resentments against. That was a tough one.
I thought this would be a good place to share thoughts and opinions on prayer. For or against, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and experience. What I am really interested in is the prayers that my fellow addicts use for the problems that may arise. I have many of them, but this post is long enough so I'll share them as we go. The serenity prayer and the other step prayers are of course classic and integral, but that's not really what I am getting at. Everyone seems to have their own conception of prayer and God, and that's the main thing I'd love to hear about. This could be a good resource for newcomers to recovery, as well as something valuable for people with tons of time. We all can learn from each other. If you're not interested just move on no problem, but I am very interested and it would be great to hear other's opinions, and questions, about prayer and recovery. Sorry to ramble and thanks in advance for your thoughts.
With that said, prayer has become a very important part of my recovery. It didn't happen overnight, and I still have a long way to go. Going from cursing God every morning for waking me up another day, to thanking him for the same reason is a humbling thing. What's interesting to me, is how my prayer life has progressed throughout my recovery. That includes my previous unsuccessful attempts.
I started out like most probably do, praying in disbelief. Was there really a God? If there was why did he care about me after all the terrible things I had done? Most of all, why would he want to help me? Those feelings slowly passed, as I saw the intrinsic benefits of prayer. I didn't want to believe, I really didn't. It all started with those foxhole prayers during my addiction, "God please help me", "Get me out of this, I swear I'll never do it again" and so forth. One day that please help me prayer was answered, and my life was never the same.
As things have progressed my prayers have become more complex. More thought goes into them. First I thank God for keeping me clean and sober that day, then I continue into other prayers. Prayers for my own well being, for those I love and care about, and strangely enough for those I hold resentments against. That was a tough one.
I thought this would be a good place to share thoughts and opinions on prayer. For or against, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and experience. What I am really interested in is the prayers that my fellow addicts use for the problems that may arise. I have many of them, but this post is long enough so I'll share them as we go. The serenity prayer and the other step prayers are of course classic and integral, but that's not really what I am getting at. Everyone seems to have their own conception of prayer and God, and that's the main thing I'd love to hear about. This could be a good resource for newcomers to recovery, as well as something valuable for people with tons of time. We all can learn from each other. If you're not interested just move on no problem, but I am very interested and it would be great to hear other's opinions, and questions, about prayer and recovery. Sorry to ramble and thanks in advance for your thoughts.
Battling Oxy with suboxone looking for help with a question
Hello All. I am currently battling my addiction to Oxycontin with the use of Suboxone. I have been on Suboxone for 1 week now. Started on 16mg and now down to 4mg a day. I have severe and painful Psoriatic arthritis and that is the reason I started the oxy's. I have a question that I hope someone can answer. Over the weekend I had a SEVERE flare up of arthritis pain over the weekend.
I tried taking all the non narcotic pain relievers and non relieved the pain. So, like a complete IDIOT I took a Roxi 30. Of course I felt nothing, so I took another 1. Started to feel some MINOR pain relief but of course because of the blocking effect, not much.
I dont want to go through those whole vicious cycle of pain meds, subs, pain meds and my question is a follows:
Can I resume my Suboxone treatment after slipping up yesterday? Is there a certain amount of time I need to wait?
Any help would be appreciated.
I tried taking all the non narcotic pain relievers and non relieved the pain. So, like a complete IDIOT I took a Roxi 30. Of course I felt nothing, so I took another 1. Started to feel some MINOR pain relief but of course because of the blocking effect, not much.
I dont want to go through those whole vicious cycle of pain meds, subs, pain meds and my question is a follows:
Can I resume my Suboxone treatment after slipping up yesterday? Is there a certain amount of time I need to wait?
Any help would be appreciated.
New here, and with a question
Hello everyone. I've been reading this forum for a few weeks now, and you all seem very friendly and knowledgeable, so I hope it's OK if I jump right in.
My husband of 7 years is struggling with his addiction to opiates. He has abused alcohol and a few other things in the past, but it's the opiates that have really drawn him in to where he's gotten pretty messed up. He was drinking and using most of 2007, until we (our marriage) hit rock bottom around Xmas of last year, and he sobered up. (I took our 3-year old daughter to my mom's for a few days and threatened to stay there if he couldn't get it together.) He did OK for a while, but he has had several relapses in 2008, and most recently, I found out that he had been using again during most of October of this year. Around the first week of November, he got so messed up that he fell and hit his head hard enough to make me wonder if he had a concussion (he didn't).
I never know (though sometimes suspect) that he's using. He's insanely good at hiding it, and while I often have a gu feeling -- I've learned to trust my my gut -- he's so convincing when he lies to my face and says he's just tired/sick/stressed/etc. that I have often given him the benefit of the doubt.
This time is different though. I've had it. I can't even tell you how traumatic all of this has been for me -- how terrifying, horrifying, devastating, etc. -- so no more. I absolutely insisted he get help this time, and so far, he has attended one counseling appointment. He still needs to call to set up the second. I'm trying hard not to bug him about it, but this is exactly my problem. I don't know when to get on him about something anymore, and when to lay off. I don't trust him anymore. That has been the saddest thing about all of this for me. He's a great person, and I want to be able to believe what he says and know he's telling me the truth, but I just can't anymore. He is very bothere about that and says we can never move forward if I'm not going to trust him and believe him, but seriously, that's going to take a while for me. A long while.
One other dilemma: We both work at the same place, and we are both well-respected by our colleages. It turns out, though, that a coworker had been giving my husband all kinds of pain pills from a recent surgery she had. He told her he gets migraines, and because he has a good reputation at work, I'm sure this woman totally believes him. My husband begged me not to say anything to her (now that I know) but I don't know what to do. I'm not angry at the coworker because it's HIS problem, HIS addiction, etc. and she's not a bad person. I'm sure she just thought she was being helpful. I would like to talk to her privately, thoughm, explain that my husband has an addiction we're trying hard to deal with, and ask her please never to give him anything ever again. My husband would be very embarassed if I did that (though of course I'd ask her not to say anything), so I'm torn. Again, it boils down to trust. Do I or don't I?
My husband of 7 years is struggling with his addiction to opiates. He has abused alcohol and a few other things in the past, but it's the opiates that have really drawn him in to where he's gotten pretty messed up. He was drinking and using most of 2007, until we (our marriage) hit rock bottom around Xmas of last year, and he sobered up. (I took our 3-year old daughter to my mom's for a few days and threatened to stay there if he couldn't get it together.) He did OK for a while, but he has had several relapses in 2008, and most recently, I found out that he had been using again during most of October of this year. Around the first week of November, he got so messed up that he fell and hit his head hard enough to make me wonder if he had a concussion (he didn't).
I never know (though sometimes suspect) that he's using. He's insanely good at hiding it, and while I often have a gu feeling -- I've learned to trust my my gut -- he's so convincing when he lies to my face and says he's just tired/sick/stressed/etc. that I have often given him the benefit of the doubt.
This time is different though. I've had it. I can't even tell you how traumatic all of this has been for me -- how terrifying, horrifying, devastating, etc. -- so no more. I absolutely insisted he get help this time, and so far, he has attended one counseling appointment. He still needs to call to set up the second. I'm trying hard not to bug him about it, but this is exactly my problem. I don't know when to get on him about something anymore, and when to lay off. I don't trust him anymore. That has been the saddest thing about all of this for me. He's a great person, and I want to be able to believe what he says and know he's telling me the truth, but I just can't anymore. He is very bothere about that and says we can never move forward if I'm not going to trust him and believe him, but seriously, that's going to take a while for me. A long while.
One other dilemma: We both work at the same place, and we are both well-respected by our colleages. It turns out, though, that a coworker had been giving my husband all kinds of pain pills from a recent surgery she had. He told her he gets migraines, and because he has a good reputation at work, I'm sure this woman totally believes him. My husband begged me not to say anything to her (now that I know) but I don't know what to do. I'm not angry at the coworker because it's HIS problem, HIS addiction, etc. and she's not a bad person. I'm sure she just thought she was being helpful. I would like to talk to her privately, thoughm, explain that my husband has an addiction we're trying hard to deal with, and ask her please never to give him anything ever again. My husband would be very embarassed if I did that (though of course I'd ask her not to say anything), so I'm torn. Again, it boils down to trust. Do I or don't I?
I have the Courage !!!
Hi All,
Let me first say this site is wonderful and though provoking. I have never felt so connected to so many people over one subject. It really is nice to know that you are not alone in what feels to be complete darkness and solitude.
I first started experimenting with Lortabs(Loris) about 5 years ago. I would take my friend to Kinkos to make fake Rx and then fill them. He would throw me a couple here and there and I would take them to chill or save them for stressful days at work( waiting tables at the time). They help to take the edge off and I would consuume no more than 10-12 a month at random times.
Once I moved from Miami back home to West Palm Beach I did not take them simply because there was no need or access. Life went on without a hitch. Then a close relative started giving them to me because he always had an abundance. Well a 10-12 a month intake gradually grew to 6-8 a day HABIT!!
I rapidly became an addiction. I knew I was in trouble when my supply would run out from the relative I would resort to a friend who sold them to me. Over what quickly became the next year I barely went more than a few hours without taking them. I knew I had to stop because I was now spending my bill and rent money to support my habit.
Rock bottom came when I found myself EVICTED from my apartment because I had fallen behind on my rent and could not catch up. Getting my Pills took precendece over having a place to live. I moved back home with the story that I had broken my lease to save money to buy a Condo. My immediately family knew I was evicted, but did not know the true reasons why.
I have been living at home for 9 months now and quite the pills for 2 months in April, but somehow found a reason to use again. On Friday, November 28, 2008. I made the decision that I must stop with the pills. My use was out of control and the money I was spending to keep my supply coming was taking a serious toll on my finances.
I took my last pill (LORI, Hydrocodone) yesterday at 5:35 pm. I made the decision that would be it. Today I am at work. The withdrawls have not been that bad so far aside from the extremely uncomfortable muscle aches. I took Motrin today(fearfully), but it really help alleviate the pain.
I think my biggest fear in quitting is losing that false since of control and emotional comfort that made almost anything bearable. What I failed to realize is all the pain was still there is was just numbed. Now that the Haze of the past 2 years is starting to lift I feel like I can truely began to be connected to everyone and everything again. Sure everyday wont be easy, but atleast I would feel My Life again!!
All the feedback and support through this journey would be greatly appreciated
Thanks:a194:
Let me first say this site is wonderful and though provoking. I have never felt so connected to so many people over one subject. It really is nice to know that you are not alone in what feels to be complete darkness and solitude.
I first started experimenting with Lortabs(Loris) about 5 years ago. I would take my friend to Kinkos to make fake Rx and then fill them. He would throw me a couple here and there and I would take them to chill or save them for stressful days at work( waiting tables at the time). They help to take the edge off and I would consuume no more than 10-12 a month at random times.
Once I moved from Miami back home to West Palm Beach I did not take them simply because there was no need or access. Life went on without a hitch. Then a close relative started giving them to me because he always had an abundance. Well a 10-12 a month intake gradually grew to 6-8 a day HABIT!!
I rapidly became an addiction. I knew I was in trouble when my supply would run out from the relative I would resort to a friend who sold them to me. Over what quickly became the next year I barely went more than a few hours without taking them. I knew I had to stop because I was now spending my bill and rent money to support my habit.
Rock bottom came when I found myself EVICTED from my apartment because I had fallen behind on my rent and could not catch up. Getting my Pills took precendece over having a place to live. I moved back home with the story that I had broken my lease to save money to buy a Condo. My immediately family knew I was evicted, but did not know the true reasons why.
I have been living at home for 9 months now and quite the pills for 2 months in April, but somehow found a reason to use again. On Friday, November 28, 2008. I made the decision that I must stop with the pills. My use was out of control and the money I was spending to keep my supply coming was taking a serious toll on my finances.
I took my last pill (LORI, Hydrocodone) yesterday at 5:35 pm. I made the decision that would be it. Today I am at work. The withdrawls have not been that bad so far aside from the extremely uncomfortable muscle aches. I took Motrin today(fearfully), but it really help alleviate the pain.
I think my biggest fear in quitting is losing that false since of control and emotional comfort that made almost anything bearable. What I failed to realize is all the pain was still there is was just numbed. Now that the Haze of the past 2 years is starting to lift I feel like I can truely began to be connected to everyone and everything again. Sure everyday wont be easy, but atleast I would feel My Life again!!
All the feedback and support through this journey would be greatly appreciated
Thanks:a194:
Women’s 12 steps - Step II
Step Two
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
The key ideas in step 2 are faith and sanity. Faith includes the ideas of belief and trust. Many of us enter recovery thinking that nothing and no one can be trusted. We may be skeptical about belief in a Higher Power. We often feel confused about what we believe. We may have learned from bitter experience that many people cannot be trusted.
Trusting someone can feel risky, yet step 2 asserts that in order to recover, we need to find someone or something we can trust. Step 2 asks us to entertain the possibility that help is available, that we cannot and need not relay only on our EGO selves to break from our addiction. We are not told who or what this power is. Instead, we are invited to explore for ourselves and make up our own minds. Coming to believe means setting aside our illusion of control and opening ourselves to the possibility of support.
This step also asks us to admit that we have done some insane things in our unmanageable lives. We are not necessarily mentally ill?indeed, we very likely are not the ?crazy? women we may have feared we were. Maybe we grew up in ?crazy-making? families and came to doubt our perceptions of reality. Maybe we did insane things?harmful to ourselves or others..because of our addiction. The traditional AA definition of insanity is ?doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.? Step 2 invites us to step onto a different path; for by living differently, we can expect different results.
In this chapter, you will explore the idea of belief?what does it mean to believe something? You will also have a chance to think about what you believe. Then you will look back at your life to identigy things you may have done that felt ?insane?, as well as forward into the future to envision the sanity you want.
QUESTIONS TO FOLLOW LATER TONIGHT :Val004:
Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
The key ideas in step 2 are faith and sanity. Faith includes the ideas of belief and trust. Many of us enter recovery thinking that nothing and no one can be trusted. We may be skeptical about belief in a Higher Power. We often feel confused about what we believe. We may have learned from bitter experience that many people cannot be trusted.
Trusting someone can feel risky, yet step 2 asserts that in order to recover, we need to find someone or something we can trust. Step 2 asks us to entertain the possibility that help is available, that we cannot and need not relay only on our EGO selves to break from our addiction. We are not told who or what this power is. Instead, we are invited to explore for ourselves and make up our own minds. Coming to believe means setting aside our illusion of control and opening ourselves to the possibility of support.
This step also asks us to admit that we have done some insane things in our unmanageable lives. We are not necessarily mentally ill?indeed, we very likely are not the ?crazy? women we may have feared we were. Maybe we grew up in ?crazy-making? families and came to doubt our perceptions of reality. Maybe we did insane things?harmful to ourselves or others..because of our addiction. The traditional AA definition of insanity is ?doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results.? Step 2 invites us to step onto a different path; for by living differently, we can expect different results.
In this chapter, you will explore the idea of belief?what does it mean to believe something? You will also have a chance to think about what you believe. Then you will look back at your life to identigy things you may have done that felt ?insane?, as well as forward into the future to envision the sanity you want.
QUESTIONS TO FOLLOW LATER TONIGHT :Val004:
