Drug Rehab Options Blog

Try to make a long story short. Addict lives with me. Won't stop using. Needs hospitalization for bad wounds that won't heal. keeps promising he'll go to hospital. Bugs me for money. Lays on couch all day in agony. Needs his drugs. I am enabling. Can't get him to hospital. he won't let me call ambulance. Today promised for 2 weeks today he'd go. Came time to go, wanted his drugs, asked for money. Now, still hasn't gone.

I need to move Again. Everytime I try to leave, he comes back, or I do. To help him. But I don't help.

I pay for and do everything. he on couch all day. he is very sick. wounds that won't heal from surgeries done last year. Won't go to doctor, I offer to take him.

I need to get out don't I? My house, my name on the lease, my money that feeds and clothes and takes care of him, I never clean enough, never do enough to help him.

I really need help. What do I do? He cannot take care of himself. :praying

OK, I want to vent too.

My problem is that when I get drunk and I get mad then I get evil. Of course, it is much easier to make me mad when I am drunk. But I don't get in to fights. I just get in to outragous verbal assaults.

I am a guy and I have no idea how I have all my teeth, my nose is straight, and I do not have a scar across my forehead. I don't know how I have never gotten a DWI, woke up with somebody's wife, or any of the other problems that usually come out of public drinking binges. It truly is an act of god. Ti amazes me and a few of my friends.

The last time was this last Saturday. Two years ago, I vowed not to drink in to bars anymore and I have done soooooooooooooooooooo good at that. Trust me, I have an entire inbox of email messages from a couple of friends trying to get me to go out to the bar in the past few months and I have not gone.

But last Saturday I did. I went to one, drove home, and then went to another. The second one I went to is not a "my kind of people" bar. I blacked out and got thrown out and now have the convenient agony of wondering what kind of major retribution I may suffer in the next few days.

Fortunately, I had not been in there in a couple of years and had not seen those people in a couple of years. I hope fortunately anyway.

For many many years, the holiday season, specifically Thanksgiving through Christmas, were incredibly painful and difficult for me.

Initially it was because I was in recovery from my own addictions/alcoholism and I was still wading through the intensely painful memories of the pain/chaos/confusion that I heaped upon loved ones and friends.

Then my own journey began as the parent of an addict/alcoholic, and I began to truly understand the depths of despair, the hopelessness, and helplessness that my parents had felt.

It has not been an easy journey, and despite my own recovery from alcoholism/addiction, I have had my own struggles with denial and enabling, all the crazy-making behavior of not being able to detach, especially with grandchildren being involved.

Finally, I have come to a point that, in spite of having a 30 year old daughter who continues on her path of destruction, I have peace of mind, and a quiet heart. I will celebrate this Thanksgiving with gratitude for all the blessings that I do have in my life, for there are many if I just look and see.

It hasn't been so long ago that I don't remember what it's like to spend a holiday filled with the agony of knowing my child is in active addiction, feeling nothing but sorrow and pain.

My higher power, my God, is a kind, loving, and immense God, and I want each and every one of you to know, especially those of you who will be struggling tomorrow through this holiday, that I have asked my God to wrap his loving arms around you too.

I pray that your heart will also find peace some day too. :ghug :ghug

perhaps im sinking into a depression again but i feel i need more love than a person can provide. i turn to god but then any gesture of warmth or kindness froma human and i feel drawn to it. frustrated by expecting too little. too much. over sexed and bitter. jaded and self destructive. VERY VERY ANGRY.

too much for me. ive just lost my best friend of 5 years and can not handle another investment. i believe in nothing. i have no more faith in love. only that maybe god can heal this suffering ache in my chest that wains like agony.

ppl just irritate me more because theyre never going to be what my disease said they should be......i want more than i s fair to ask of a human. but i feel empty and lost. i feel desolate. i dont even know anymore. i go to meetings but after i go home and feel hollow. im so lost. i pray to god through enraged teeth that i can find a way out of my present hell and despair so that suicide stops seeming such a great idea. over it.

Hi, I just joined this forum. I've been a daily IV heroin user since July. I understand that methadone withdrawal is not fun, but in which scenario would the withdrawal be less painful - quitting heroin c/t now or doing a 21 day methadone detox? I really can't afford to miss work or school.

I'm so sick of this and so ready to quit. I hate heroin every time I go to do it now, I've just been prolonging the inevitable withdrawal. I have been testing the waters to see how sick I'm gonna be, and once I get to about a day without using, I'm writhing around in agony and projectile vomiting. I hate this...

October 4

Thirty-day wonder

“When we first begin to enjoy relief from our addiction, we run the risk of assuming control of our lives again. We forget the agony and pain that we have known.”

Many of us have been “thirty-day wonders.” We were desperate and dying when we showed up at our first NA meeting. We identified with the addicts we met there and the message they shared. With their support, we were finally able to stop using and catch a free breath. For the first time in a long, long time, we felt at home. Overnight, our lives were transformed; we walked, talked, ate, drank, slept, and dreamed Narcotics Anonymous.

Then, Narcotics Anonymous lost its novelty. Meetings that had been a thrill became monotonous. Our wonderful NA friends became bores; their uplifting NA talk, drivel. When our former friends called, inviting us back for some of the old fun, we kissed our recovery goodbye.

Sooner or later, we made our way back to the rooms of Narcotics Anonymous. Nothing had changed out there, we’d discovered—not us, not our friends, not the drugs, not anything. If anything, it had gotten worse than ever.

True, NA meetings may not be a laugh riot, and our NA friends may not be spiritual giants. But there’s a power in the meetings, a common bond among the members, a life to the program that we can’t do without. Today, our recovery is more than just a fad—it’s a way of life. We’re going to practice living our program like our lives depend on it, because they do.


Just for today: I’m no “thirty-day wonder.” The NA way is my way of life, and I’m here for the duration.


Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved

So, it's the danger time zone...

Three thirty in the afternoon. I'm self employed so I'm free to start drinking now if I choose. I only have two beers in the fridge so I would need to go up the road and buy more... but I'm sitting here arguing with myself:

Go up the road and get some beer.
Why? I'll only feel like shite for the first couple before I hit the "happy zone"...

Yeah but you WILL get to the happy zone!
Not necessarily, sometimes I'm forcing it down trying to get there and I only end up bloated and suffering burning acid reflux.

So take a pill for the reflux and go get some beer. You know it's great fun drinking, smoking and playing games... spades, poker, backgammon...
Yeah, it's real fun waking up in the middle of the night full of regret and getting up in the morning and standing on those scales another few pounds heavier.

So don't eat dinner then, that'll save a few calories AND ensure you reach the happy zone.
mmm, true...

One day at a time, one minute at a time, blah blah blah... all that effort and agony and you know you're just going to drink again later so it's a waste of suffering.
Yeah I know.

Arrrggghhh!

September 25

The Fourth Step—fearing our feelings

“We may fear that being in touch with our feelings will trigger an overwhelming chain reaction of pain and panic.”

A common complaint about the Fourth Step is that it makes us painfully conscious of our defects of character. We may be tempted to falter in our program of recovery. Through surrender and acceptance, we can find the resources we need to keep working the steps.

It’s not the awareness of our defects that causes the most agony—it’s the defects themselves. When we were using, all we felt was the drugs; we could ignore the suffering our defects were causing us. Now that the drugs are gone, we feel that pain. Refusing to acknowledge the source of our anguish doesn’t make it go away; denial protects the pain and makes it stronger. The Twelve Steps help us deal with the misery caused by our defects by dealing directly with the defects themselves.

If we hurt from the pain of our defects, we can remind ourselves of the nightmare of addiction, a nightmare from which weÂ’ve now awakened. We can recall the hope for release the Second Step gave us. We can again turn our will and our lives over, through the Third Step, to the care of the God of our understanding. Our Higher Power cares for us by giving us the help we need to work the rest of the Twelve Steps. We donÂ’t have to fear our feelings. Just for today, we can continue in our recovery.


Just for today: I wonÂ’t be afraid of my feelings. With the help of my Higher Power, IÂ’ll continue in my recovery.



Copyright © 1991-2008 by Narcotics Anonymous World Services, Inc. All Rights Reserved