Drug Rehab Options Blog

My 18 year old son goes to jail a week from Monday. He will be in there for 60 days because of a probation violation. He will get work release and school release, so he thinks it will be a piece of cake. I, on the other hand, am having a hard time with it. I did call my dr. and upped my antidepressant because I couldn't stop crying (I had recently been trying to cut back on it because things were better, ha!)

The increased meds helped,but I still find myself struggling. I try to stay busy and not think about it, living in the day, reading on this forum. But I am so hurt and disappointed. What parent in their right mind wants this for their child? And yet I know it is what he needs. I'm afraid the stress is going to kill me, though.

I feel disappointed with myself. I have handled some pretty tough things in ife (being molested as a child, divorced from a gay man, son's four year addiction) and now I seem to be falling apart.

I love God and always believed he was part of every situation. But I don't know anymore. Where have my prayers gone? I see so many of you on this site face horrible things and keep moving and believing and saying the mantras....you didn't cause it, you can't cure it; one day at a time, etc.
but i'm not sure I can do this anymore.

Any words of advice or support? i could use them today.
krhea

I have lived (or suffered with) depression for years, diagnosed and started treatment in 2001 but had it for years before that. I've been on a number of anti-depressants but after 6 months they always seemed to fail me. A few years ago I started seeing a new doc who told me I was bipolar II--I said yea, right--I wish I was then I'd have the manic episodes and actually get some stuff done during the day! She started me on a different antidepressant and lamictal. Over the last two years she has changed the anti-depressant several times and kept wanting to add different meds, but I think I was in denial. I have a lot of education in the mental health field, and I really didn't believe I was bipolar.

Anyway, currently I'm on effexor 150mg daily, lamictal 200mg daily, abilify 2mg daily. I'm also dual-diagnosis--bipolar and substance abuse. I recently (this month) went through detox for opiate abuse. For the last year at least I know that my symptoms and frequent depressive episodes were caused by my pill use, so I know that I wasn't appropriately being treated--it was my fault. This week I started seeing a different psychiatrist, and he said I should in no way be on an anti-depressant and he couldn't believe I had been on one in so long. Also, because of the wt gain with abilify, he wants to take me off that as well and start me on Geodon. Is anyone here on Geodon? Has anyone been on abilify and prefer one over the other? The research I've done shows that lamictal is a good drug, so I'm going to stay on that. Unfortunately we can't change my meds around right now because we have to get me stable from the pill use/withdrawal. Any advice or suggestions greatly appreciated. Thanks!

I have been away from my university health care system for the summer, and unfortunately had a really, really bad recurrence of depression. Also began the process of facing my alcoholism and getting sober.... It has been a wild last few months. My student insurance would cover nothing short of hospitalization so I talked a doctor friend into prescribing me an antidepressant, and made the earliest possible appointment to see a doc at the U health center.

I'm back in town now and had my appointment yesterday. I was so looking forward to it, funny as it sounds. Psychiatrists, psychologists, etc make me nervous, but I have been desperate for help. However, because my old doctor left (the docs tend not to hang around very long, I've noticed), I had to go through a reassessment. That happened last year, too. That means a 45 minute interview with a psychiatrist or psychologist who has you rehash your whole hairy history, just to get assigned to someone who will become your usual doc. You have another effing hour long first session with them. Then they assign you to a therapist, who has to get to know you as well. I was unlucky enough to get a psychologist yesterday- not a prescriber. I was out of meds. So I had to come in again today to talk for half an hour with a psychiatrist, so she would be comfortable giving me a two week supply. My appointment with my soon-to-be regular doc won't be for around that long, and I won't get a therapist until after that appointment. Even though I did everything I could to get treatment quickly, it's not going to happen, and that blows.

On the one hand, I am so much luckier than all the people out there who can't get mental health care at all, and I do appreciate that. On the other hand, I am so very tired of rehashing painful subjects with all these different people. I wish I could just type up a report and hand it over so they could stop asking me the same uncomfortable questions. And I would like to pin a sign to my shirt that says "No I'm not having suicidal ideation at the moment, thanks for asking." Cause I'm tired of talking about it.

:) The end!

First of all, my doctor was not there. They said they called me, but I checked my phone and there were no messages and no missed calls and I only drank 3 glasses of wine last night so I know I didn't "forget". They asked me if I wanted to see another doctor and I said yes, because its not like I have a relationship with the MIA doctor, plus, I knew I might not reschedule cuz I was really nervous.

The doctor came in and asked me what was going on. I told him my blood pressure has been really high, I can't sleep at night, I have high anxiety, etc. (and this is the tough part) I told him I think it is because I am drinking too much. I could see right away he was very uncomfortable. He asked me a few questions, like how much I drink, how long I have been doing it, do I feel suicidal? I answered his questions and he said I needed to get on some medication. So he prescribed Ativan for anxiety, but it is highly addictive, so only 30 days worth. And also Lexapro...an antidepressant, is this supposed to make me not want to drink? And lets give someone with an addictive personality an addictive drug after she just told you she' s worried about drinking too much. Oh yea, he also said, Don't drink alcohol with the Ativan....WHAT? When I said I am worried that I can't stop, and do I just slow down or just stop....he said just stop, you can do it! :wtf1:

I tried to talk about my drinking (very uncomfortable for me) and I was worried about damage to my internal organs, i.e.liver, etc. And all he said was it took years to develop liver problems and since I had my gallbladder out 1-1/2 years ago, (and must have had all kinds of blood tests) my liver was fine then.

I just feel like I got no answers and feel stupid because I was crying so hard I couldn't talk and I knew he was uncomfortable. I don't want to feel the prescriptions because I might be asking for trouble.

He did give me a name for a therapist and said to make an appointment. I just feel like a failure.