Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hi Folks,

I'm sober twenty years in AA and NA. I've recently discontinued antidepressants (last Winter I ended Zoloft which I'd been on/off for 8 years). I then was on Cymbalta..then Welbutrin. I also discontinued Klonopin. I'd been on .5 mg to 1mg / day at bedtime for sleep. I tapered to .75mg, then to .5 to .375mg to .25 to .125 This was over the course of 5 weeks (the taper from .75 to .125 mg)

I am curious about klonopin withdrawal.I've read everything I can get my hands on and the range of information on the net is disorienting. My simple question is how long do the more acute symptoms last. I see a kind of consensus of one to two weeks..with other people going longer (few months) or others going shorter.

I am having acute anxiety in the morning. I wake up and cover my head in blankets and can't get up to do basic things. I pace. My arms ache. My hands ache. Strangely around 6pm (after waking at 8am) I feel myself. I can't figure out this body rhythm. I feel scared all day, wanting nothing more than to be back on medications and yet by 6pm I feel I can make it through the next day. One day at a time. i feel like I'm getting sober again...meaning like the first six months of sobriety.

I guess I am looking for information, useful anecdotes about how other people felt going through klonopin withdrawal and staying off of the klonopin. When did the worst feelings of separation subside. I'm convinced that an even slower taper would not have helped. When I moved my dose down , even by .125, I immediately got bad symptoms that have been no better from .5 mg downard.......so I'm toughing it out.

Thanks

My friend age 49 has thrown herself under a highspeed train it's so stark yet vivid real yet unreal. She was very depressed and had attempted suicide before but was stopped, she didn't drink or do drugs she did come off her antidepressants recently. I am bereft please can you send some postive thought to Janette, her friends and her family?

Hi, I'm new here. My husband has ben addicted to opiates for a number of years. We have 2 young children. He is fed up and so 3 weeks ago went on subutex then suboxone. Also taking antidepressants. Got so much better. He is a great person, but dealing with a lot of demons from his past. Now that his fog has lifted he has an urge to use a different drug-crack. It will tear our family apart. He doesn't know where to turn and neither do I. I want to help, but do not know how. He doesn't want to go to NA. No money for a therapist. Taking it day by day. Know God is with us. God Bless All.

Well.........things have been worse i know.....i'm still drinking about a sixer a day.....that's not much......no drugs for 8 mos. now....i almost wish i could push off just one more time with the speed.....but am too broke to even consider it.
My sister has a ton of speed.....good thing she lives in Colarado.
I'm really struggling with depression....hard.....working with the doc on getting the right antidepressants on and off.....nothing is working.
See him on monday again.......have to tell him this aint working.
Well........that's about it as of late.....i really hope something happens to lessen my depression.....it's pretty bad especially lately.
Really depressed and drinking a little..........thats about it for me right now.

i am really really depressed.

i am codependent, and included in that- having no prospects for romance or love, and im just so bitter about it all.

im bitter because i feel like i ruined things with my ex, but even still- i cant go back because i know ultimately i cant be with an alcoholic. i want to believe that nice men are out there who are charming, funny, kind AND interested in me for who i am long term. but having never found tha i feel hopeless.

then im bitter because even as an alcoholic, he was the only man there for me, patient, and he did try to make me feel better. i would probably even try to get back together, even desite knowing it wont work but havent because i have not much to offer being completely depressed.

i have dated other people in between- and it was very short term and they lost interest. even when i wasnt depressed or letting crazy out of the bottle!!!
.

i want to be happy by myself, but i just never have been. i am unhappy with most aspects of my life, if not all. currently, food is the only thing that brings me pleasure. i was put on antidepressants when i was 7 (although at the time i didnt want to take them). i am just not happy with myself or with life. i dont see it getting better. ive been this way my whole life, and the times i am happy are the times when OTHER people are including me in their fun.

i know its a cycle because me not being in a good mood doesnt exactly envite others in my life, but i cant h elp it.

i attend alanon, i have a sponsor (but she is a little unavailable at the moment). i am on medication (that doesnt seem to work) going to a counselor, reading self help books. i am in a band. i am in graduate school. i am starting a volunteer program to send books to prisoners. these last 3 are things that are important to me- but they seem to give me more stress than pleasure yet without them i would have an even bigger VOID.

i know i have friends but it seems im lonelier than them.

Hi all,

My Ad's charity care ran out at the HIV clinic, and she begged me to help her keep her appointments there by taking her and staying with her (she walked out of the last 2). I told her if she did her part (get a social security card) I would take her to the appointment. She did, and I did, and her charity care at the clinic was renewed for another year.

she has been saying she wants to get clean lately, a lot. She knows I won't stop my life anymore to help her look for rehabs that she ultimately walks out of anyway. She also knows "The Bank of Grandma" is dissolved, as far as paying for any more rehabs. I told her to call around and see if there was charity care available for rehabs .

apparently she did, because I spoke to her today and she said, "I need a note from the doctor at the HIV clinic to give to the rehab."

I said, "Rehab? What rehab?"

She said, "I found a rehab that will take me if I give them a Dr. note saying I am well enough to go to rehab."

Then she said, "Can I call you back in 5 minutes".
Of course she didn't call me back, but I never expect her to.

I hope she pulls it together and does go to rehab. I hope she stays this time. I hope she leaves her creepoid BF and figures out her life. But, since none is within my ability to control, I am FREE to live my own life.

I am still struggling with episodes of depression -a couple of days every 2 or 3 weeks or so. Usually, these episodes are NOT centered around my AD, but around my own life. (but I have struggled with depression all my life and am not currently willing to endure the side effects, so do not choose to take antidepressants) but otherwise am doing OK. I still jog 4 to 5 days a week, still not smoking cigarettes (8 months), still clean (4 years, 7 months), still working on recovery .

take care,
sleepy

Was wondering about other people's experience here. Not everyone has a great support network or is so understanding to those of us who have been in love with or love an addict.

I have found some of my friends and family turn angry on me because I was trying to help him. They have been cruel in their criticism against me in my choice in a man calling me stupid, ignorant etc. Then the addicts family is completely in love with him - he can do no wrong../.and I got blamed from their side because he is an addict. They blamed his ex too.

I am no longer with him but I had to walk away. Even when he was not in my life anymore the people in my life were downright cruel.


i am in therapy and on antidepressants. Its a lonely existence. I make myself go out to exercise walk the dogs and looking for a new job - trying to stay busy. Go to movies and bookstores alone if I have to...I have reached out but its been tough since my trust in people has been broken


I want to know if I am the only one who has experienced this reaction from family and or friends...


have you gotten pretty down in the dumps and feel like you are just existing?

I know I have all this love and went above and beyond for him and for others././somehow I end up alone and abandoned.


Just feel so damned sad. The counselor says this is normal esp since the woman he cheated on me with committed suicide. I found a blog he left to her saying he misses her...he only knew her 3 wks. It was tough to read. I helped him through that all and I guess i am just now feeling the pain. Its horrible.

im sorry to complain. Its just always criticism from the way I drive to the way I dress from my kids.//and thats typical but not nice...and even though the rest are being rude and seem to revel in my misfortune, they dont have to be cruel.

Hi, This is my very first attempt at getting help for my drinking problem. I'm 56 years old, left my career as a health care professional a few years ago to marry a man who turned out to be a drinking buddy. He is also a wine buyer and brings wonderful wines and ales home every night. I've asked him not to but when he doesn't we don't seem to know how to be or what to do.

I can go 4 or 5 days (especially when he's out of town) without it comfortably but then go back to it. I've tried many things to fill the void but fact is, I like my wine but I hate the hangovers, interupted sleep, inability to lose weight and how it is keeping me from achieving things I would like to due to the lethargy I feel lately. I have some depression going on and will not/cannot take antidepressants. The wine makes me feel good at least for a few hours a day. How can I break out of this nasty cycle downwards I'm in? I've tried the therapy route but it's not an option right now.

Thanks in advance for your insights.

Recently some of the threads seem to indicate a bit of confusion about healthy boundaries vs. controlling behaviors in relationships.

It is certainly a complicated topic.

I would like to talk about the subject from the perspective of a formerly (and working everyday to get better!) very controlling person. I am not an addict, but I love one.

As a controller, I made my husband aware of what he should and should not be doing on a regular basis:

He should get more sleep.
He should see the doctor.
He should look for a new job.
He should come on our family vacation.
He should stop drinking.

He should not stay up until 3a.m. playing video games.
He should not abruptly discontinue his antidepressants.
He should not complain about his work.
He should not complain about the pillows in the hotel room or the lines at the amusement park.
He should not sit in his car and drink until he is too intoxicated to drag himself inside the house.

These should's/should not's sounded SO reasonable to me.
They sounded healthy - so, in the name of health, I felt entirely justified in attempting to enforce these "rules" on my husband.

If he had told me that he didn't think it was healthy for me to go out with a girlfriend, I would have told him to go suck an egg.

So, there was a double standard of sorts. I thought that his violation of my "healthy" concept was sufficient reason for him to change his behavior, but I certainly didn't believe that my behavior ought to change simply because he thought it was unhealthy.

He said I was controlling, and I angrily maintained that I was NOT. Thank you very much.

In retrospect I can see that I desperately wanted to control him. I had very specific ideas about "proper" husband behavior, and when he didn't keep up his end of the deal (meaning, do what I wanted him to) I could come unglued.

Weeping.
Yelling.
I even hit him once.

So, there you have it. I'm a controlling abuser. Who's also a really nice girl.

I think that many people exhibit controlling behaviors at some point in a relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean that they are a bad person or a terrible partner, but it does require some delicate introspective work to pull apart the causes and extent of the problem. And not everyone chooses to do that work.

For me, a healthy relationship requires that both partners openly communicate their needs and fears without trying to control each others' actions. As I get healthier, I can see that saying someone "should not" do something doesn't really get me anywhere.

Today I try to :
1.) State my preferences
2.) Accept that the other person may choose to take a different course of action than I would like.
3.) Decide what action would benefit me most given the other person's choice.
4.) Take that action.

Nobody's perfect, and controlling behaviors sneak in. But, today, if instead of following some variation on the above plan of action, someone consistently attempted to control me, I would decide that our paths were not in line with each other. I would end that relationship.

Thanks for letting me share.
-TC

day 19 ... total turn around from my last post.My last post i was feeling like i was really getting somewere but today im a mess. Everything that had become so clear has become a harsh reality and the temptation of the bottle is starting to so comforting. I really should be taking my antidepressants but im scared with out alcohol ill grow an addiction to them.I want to just give up n go back to the bottle n disappear............