Archive for the ‘Anxiety’ tag
Alprazolam (Xanax) - Getting Off
Hello All,
I am currently trying to get off my addiction of alprazolam. I was given a very large prescription from my GP when I tried to quit drinking alcohol and I ended up taking these in excess (in upwards of 10mg - 14mg a day). Most days I took no less than 6mg for a period of at least 6 months. Last Tuesday I lowered my dose to 2mg and yesterday down to 1mg. I also quit taking my pain killer (tramadol 400mg daily) and began lowering my lexapro from 30mg to my current 10mg........ It has been hell. Sweeting, nightmares, insomina, shaking, you name it. I am also on topamax which I am contining to take for its anti-convulsant properties (100 mg daily, but I should be taking 150mg daily but it makes me really stupid) but I would wish to stop at some point.
What I wanted to ask is should I seek help, this is still really difficult, my wife is controlling the pills but I am worried about starting to drink again. The actual sick part is done I think, but my anxiety is through the roof, but I do not wish to use the alprazolam it is not for me. Once I am clear of it I do not wish to have it in my house, it has already done enough damage as is.
Thanks for your input!
I am currently trying to get off my addiction of alprazolam. I was given a very large prescription from my GP when I tried to quit drinking alcohol and I ended up taking these in excess (in upwards of 10mg - 14mg a day). Most days I took no less than 6mg for a period of at least 6 months. Last Tuesday I lowered my dose to 2mg and yesterday down to 1mg. I also quit taking my pain killer (tramadol 400mg daily) and began lowering my lexapro from 30mg to my current 10mg........ It has been hell. Sweeting, nightmares, insomina, shaking, you name it. I am also on topamax which I am contining to take for its anti-convulsant properties (100 mg daily, but I should be taking 150mg daily but it makes me really stupid) but I would wish to stop at some point.
What I wanted to ask is should I seek help, this is still really difficult, my wife is controlling the pills but I am worried about starting to drink again. The actual sick part is done I think, but my anxiety is through the roof, but I do not wish to use the alprazolam it is not for me. Once I am clear of it I do not wish to have it in my house, it has already done enough damage as is.
Thanks for your input!
riding the roller coaster of bipolar
staying sober has been easy and I thought I was doing good controlling my moods and I've been maintaining my weight, but I'm having more swings and more anxiety which causes me to hear voices and see things. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. Wish I could catch a break and slid on by with some ease.
just frustrated and venting thanks for listening
just frustrated and venting thanks for listening
A New Chapter
I've started a new chapter in my life, a chapter that I hope is just the beginning to a really great book. My life hasn't always been easy. For so long, I have let the past and the present control me. I've lived in fear; I've lived with anxiety and panic; I've felt lonely and depressed; I've done things that I never thought were possible; and lastly....I've lost myself in others.
About a week and a half ago, I left my boyfriend. I fell so completely in love with him in no time and convinced myself that we would be together forever. I wanted to believe that so much. All of the little lies and all of the crazy things he did were okay because he loved me and those few "perfect moments" kept me going.
Well, our relationship lasted for just eight months and in that eight months, I had lost everything that was important in my life, including myself. And up until the end of last week, I didn't feel very good about moving on and looking forward. I was scared.
BUT.....a friend gave me the shove I needed. He challenged me to take a really good look at myself, a really good look at my life. Boy, I didn't like what I saw. I kept convincing myself that I was okay when really, I was so lost inside.
In just a short time, I must say that I have come a long way. You see, you can sit there and dream about what you want your life to be like or you can actually take the initiative, set goals and meet them so you can actually "live" the life you dream of. That's what I've decided to do.
I go to the gym daily....something that I kept promising my friend I would do but then always found excuses not to. Now I can see why he wanted me to go. I feel INCREDIBLE. I have so much energy and I just feel so confident. It's really nice. It also has reduced my cravings for coke.
I started eating right and have almost quit smoking. I've made plans with another close friend....she is going to take me hiking in about four months. I should be in pretty good shape by then and I've always dreamed about going hiking....so instead of dreaming about it, I'm making it my reality.
My whole point to this long blah, blah, blah is to tell you that you can do anything you "dream" of doing. This is YOUR life. Nobody can tell you how to live it.
If you're trying to quit drugs, think about why. Make a list of what the drugs do for you and then make a list of how they hurt you. I'm sure the "hurt" side far outweighs the good. Write down things you want out of your life. Stop thinking about what you've done wrong in the past and look at what you are going to do right in the future.
I've always been a present and past dweller. I had to see my ex the other day and I started crying and then something just hit me. If I kept crying, it was going to ruin "my" day. Nobody can make you feel something you don't allow. I wasn't going to allow him to keep hurting me. This was not my addiction anymore. This was not my problem and as much as I love him, I decided to completely let him go. And after, I felt such a weight lifted.
Everytime you choose good over bad, it gets easier. Everytime you say no to a substance, it gets easier the next time.
Sometimes we forget our true potential....we are so used to thinking negative and after a while, negative is the only thinking we have. We program our brains. We are what we think.
I'm so happy now that I have learned to let go. I never thought it was something I was capable of and because of that thinking, I kept using and I kept staying in an unhealthy relationship. Then one day, a friend told me that I "could" do it. I thought about it and realized he was right. I could do it if I really wanted to. And I did. I wanted my life back. I know you want your life back. Don't ever give up because one of those tries are gonna be the one that sets you free from your addiction....sets you free and gives you your life back.
Hugs
About a week and a half ago, I left my boyfriend. I fell so completely in love with him in no time and convinced myself that we would be together forever. I wanted to believe that so much. All of the little lies and all of the crazy things he did were okay because he loved me and those few "perfect moments" kept me going.
Well, our relationship lasted for just eight months and in that eight months, I had lost everything that was important in my life, including myself. And up until the end of last week, I didn't feel very good about moving on and looking forward. I was scared.
BUT.....a friend gave me the shove I needed. He challenged me to take a really good look at myself, a really good look at my life. Boy, I didn't like what I saw. I kept convincing myself that I was okay when really, I was so lost inside.
In just a short time, I must say that I have come a long way. You see, you can sit there and dream about what you want your life to be like or you can actually take the initiative, set goals and meet them so you can actually "live" the life you dream of. That's what I've decided to do.
I go to the gym daily....something that I kept promising my friend I would do but then always found excuses not to. Now I can see why he wanted me to go. I feel INCREDIBLE. I have so much energy and I just feel so confident. It's really nice. It also has reduced my cravings for coke.
I started eating right and have almost quit smoking. I've made plans with another close friend....she is going to take me hiking in about four months. I should be in pretty good shape by then and I've always dreamed about going hiking....so instead of dreaming about it, I'm making it my reality.
My whole point to this long blah, blah, blah is to tell you that you can do anything you "dream" of doing. This is YOUR life. Nobody can tell you how to live it.
If you're trying to quit drugs, think about why. Make a list of what the drugs do for you and then make a list of how they hurt you. I'm sure the "hurt" side far outweighs the good. Write down things you want out of your life. Stop thinking about what you've done wrong in the past and look at what you are going to do right in the future.
I've always been a present and past dweller. I had to see my ex the other day and I started crying and then something just hit me. If I kept crying, it was going to ruin "my" day. Nobody can make you feel something you don't allow. I wasn't going to allow him to keep hurting me. This was not my addiction anymore. This was not my problem and as much as I love him, I decided to completely let him go. And after, I felt such a weight lifted.
Everytime you choose good over bad, it gets easier. Everytime you say no to a substance, it gets easier the next time.
Sometimes we forget our true potential....we are so used to thinking negative and after a while, negative is the only thinking we have. We program our brains. We are what we think.
I'm so happy now that I have learned to let go. I never thought it was something I was capable of and because of that thinking, I kept using and I kept staying in an unhealthy relationship. Then one day, a friend told me that I "could" do it. I thought about it and realized he was right. I could do it if I really wanted to. And I did. I wanted my life back. I know you want your life back. Don't ever give up because one of those tries are gonna be the one that sets you free from your addiction....sets you free and gives you your life back.
Hugs
Tremendous guilt and anxiety..long
Okay, so ABF is locked up, and has been since Saturday for possession. Hasn't been charged with the VOP yet, but am sure that one is coming. I told him I cannot afford to bail him out because I am already almost destitute because he had lost yet another job right after Thanksgiving. That job took eight months to get! I am feeling horrible guilt and sadness mixed with unbelievable anger at the position I am in right now. On the one hand, I want to yell, scream, point fingers and say This is all your fault!! and then on the other hand, I want to kick myself for being sooo stupid, yet again.
I did finally find the strength to kick him out in the beginning of December, but he begged and pleaded for another chance, started going to meetings almost daily, and then spent most of his time here, at my house. He was offering assistance with housekeeping, chores, and just general maintenance, and I let him keep coming over even though I really didn't want to. I was starting to see what it was like with a little more peace in the house again, and I didn't have to listen to him constantly berate and badger my 7yr old daughter. (who he blames for the demise of OUR relationship because I don't discipline her properly according to him) , of course it has nothing to do with all the financial troubles, legal troubles and everything else having to do with his addiction.
He went to meetings constantly and I was starting to have hope. When all of a sudden, BAM...had that queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't right, he seemed off. Come to find out he was buying pills from some guy at AA. He told me,"He understands what its like to live in chronic pain...blah, blah, blah..., and I've talked to plenty of people, and it doesn't jeopordize my sobriety if I need them...blah, blah," My daughter came out in the middle of the argument to hand me a narcotic painkiller that she found on the floor. Again, told him get out, right now! he took off on the bike like a maniac! The bike was screaming through my neighborhood, full of kids...he had to be doing at least 80mph! when twenty minutes before that, he could barely hold up his head and could barely be understood when he spoke to me, he was slurring so badly. I panicked, and called the police, I was so terrified of what he might do to himself or someone else...I don't know if I will ever feel good about that decision, because it was just a few short moments later that they pulled him over and arrested him. Now I find out that each and every pill he had on him will probably be a seperate charge, and he had several, plus the VOP, and he wasn't supposed to be driving anyway because he has a hardship license for work purposes only....I feel SO GUILTY. Has anyone ever called the police and then felt horrible about it? Part of me knows I did the right thing, the other part of me feels like I should have just left it alone, and not interfered.
Yes, he had a pretty bad bike wreck two and a half years ago, spent the last two years in pain management, until I said that's it, can't take it anymore, either get off the meds or get out! He was taking his full months prescription in a week and a half or less. constantly passed out, stealing from us, lying, borrowing money from everybody and anybody he could. I found out that on Thanksgiving Day, while I was at work he had a dealer come to my house! then he had the nerve to show up at my family's home all messed up. That did it for me, that is when I finally asked him to leave.
I do love him, the guy that I know is somewhere in there. He was the most romantic, sweet and thoughtful men I had ever met. He is so intelligent, and that is really appealing to me. Exactly what happened to my intelligence? Not sure. I kept believing his lies, was shocked each and every time I caught him in another one, and really wanted to believe that he loved me as much as he said he did.
What I guess I'm really having trouble with is the fact that I know, and HATE all the things he has done to me and my daughter, but for some weird reason, still feel sorry for him, don't want to see him suffer etc. I feel like a freak sometimes because I don't know which end is up. Don't know what I really feel...or am I really feeling all of it?
Don't know if it gets better or will I always feel like this? I do know that I have read lots of posts here, and I see many people that are going through the same or very similar circumstances, and that is comforting. I have spent the last two years of my life being obsessed with my bf and his using, it sucked all my energy from me. Now, I am still feeling like the life is being sucked out of me by MY feelings. Feel exhausted and drained. Guess that's it for now. Sure is nice to have a place to be able to just get this stuff out instead of having to hold it to myself because others don't understand.
I did finally find the strength to kick him out in the beginning of December, but he begged and pleaded for another chance, started going to meetings almost daily, and then spent most of his time here, at my house. He was offering assistance with housekeeping, chores, and just general maintenance, and I let him keep coming over even though I really didn't want to. I was starting to see what it was like with a little more peace in the house again, and I didn't have to listen to him constantly berate and badger my 7yr old daughter. (who he blames for the demise of OUR relationship because I don't discipline her properly according to him) , of course it has nothing to do with all the financial troubles, legal troubles and everything else having to do with his addiction.
He went to meetings constantly and I was starting to have hope. When all of a sudden, BAM...had that queasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't right, he seemed off. Come to find out he was buying pills from some guy at AA. He told me,"He understands what its like to live in chronic pain...blah, blah, blah..., and I've talked to plenty of people, and it doesn't jeopordize my sobriety if I need them...blah, blah," My daughter came out in the middle of the argument to hand me a narcotic painkiller that she found on the floor. Again, told him get out, right now! he took off on the bike like a maniac! The bike was screaming through my neighborhood, full of kids...he had to be doing at least 80mph! when twenty minutes before that, he could barely hold up his head and could barely be understood when he spoke to me, he was slurring so badly. I panicked, and called the police, I was so terrified of what he might do to himself or someone else...I don't know if I will ever feel good about that decision, because it was just a few short moments later that they pulled him over and arrested him. Now I find out that each and every pill he had on him will probably be a seperate charge, and he had several, plus the VOP, and he wasn't supposed to be driving anyway because he has a hardship license for work purposes only....I feel SO GUILTY. Has anyone ever called the police and then felt horrible about it? Part of me knows I did the right thing, the other part of me feels like I should have just left it alone, and not interfered.
Yes, he had a pretty bad bike wreck two and a half years ago, spent the last two years in pain management, until I said that's it, can't take it anymore, either get off the meds or get out! He was taking his full months prescription in a week and a half or less. constantly passed out, stealing from us, lying, borrowing money from everybody and anybody he could. I found out that on Thanksgiving Day, while I was at work he had a dealer come to my house! then he had the nerve to show up at my family's home all messed up. That did it for me, that is when I finally asked him to leave.
I do love him, the guy that I know is somewhere in there. He was the most romantic, sweet and thoughtful men I had ever met. He is so intelligent, and that is really appealing to me. Exactly what happened to my intelligence? Not sure. I kept believing his lies, was shocked each and every time I caught him in another one, and really wanted to believe that he loved me as much as he said he did.
What I guess I'm really having trouble with is the fact that I know, and HATE all the things he has done to me and my daughter, but for some weird reason, still feel sorry for him, don't want to see him suffer etc. I feel like a freak sometimes because I don't know which end is up. Don't know what I really feel...or am I really feeling all of it?
Don't know if it gets better or will I always feel like this? I do know that I have read lots of posts here, and I see many people that are going through the same or very similar circumstances, and that is comforting. I have spent the last two years of my life being obsessed with my bf and his using, it sucked all my energy from me. Now, I am still feeling like the life is being sucked out of me by MY feelings. Feel exhausted and drained. Guess that's it for now. Sure is nice to have a place to be able to just get this stuff out instead of having to hold it to myself because others don't understand.
30 Days Friday
That's a good thing. I've had 30 days so many times before...I'm really trying to keep it in the one day at a time mind set. I find it a lot easier to stay in the present and focus on whats in front of me today. To stay honest...I continue to take Antabuse daily ( monitored ) I know the use of antabuse is somewhat controversial but it helps me...I'm going to confront that issue later on...right now I'm just trying to stay sober and get some time under my belt.
Anxiety, for whatever reason, has been a huge struggle this past month. Much more so than I remember experiencing before. Pretty much daily episodes of sadness...panic...doom and gloom thinking...I call it "catastrophizing"...seeing no way out of things or getting really regretful and focused on things I can't change or can't change right now. Getting caught up in worries about the future..."what if" scenarios...financial worries...impending heath crises...anybody else get that??
I guess it could be PAWS symptoms...but drinking is not an option. Thanks
Anxiety, for whatever reason, has been a huge struggle this past month. Much more so than I remember experiencing before. Pretty much daily episodes of sadness...panic...doom and gloom thinking...I call it "catastrophizing"...seeing no way out of things or getting really regretful and focused on things I can't change or can't change right now. Getting caught up in worries about the future..."what if" scenarios...financial worries...impending heath crises...anybody else get that??
I guess it could be PAWS symptoms...but drinking is not an option. Thanks
Antabuse or disulfiram
I wanted to start this thread to share my experience of this medication and experiences of other people i know that have taken it as it is easy to just say 'i'm not taking meds' and in my case wasted 7 years of my life sticking to this principle.
I was drinking everyday and was starting to plan how to end my life when i decided to try one very last time to get some help. After finding an English speaking Counseller in Spain I booked an appointment. She referred me to the psychiatrict and he prescribed me 3 drugs:
1. Seroxat (Paxil) as i had taken a text and was chronic on most areas, anxiety, depression etc.
2. Antabuse to provide a barrier to having that first drink
3. A med used to detox and for anxiety (highly addictive, I did not take this one)
Back to antabuse. I have been sober for just over 10 weeks now from drinking everyday. I still have my job and it has been commented on how much my work has changed and it is quite obvious that i was nearing the point where they were losing all patience with me and still live in a wonderful house in Spain.
Without the antabuse i would have found this time more difficult as it provides a reason, a good one, for me not to drink at that given time. The drug lasts up to 48 hours in your system so as soon as you have a craving there is a thought process which would be that I want a drink but i can't have a drink right now otherwise the effects of the drug would make me ill. It is possible to stop taking the drug and then go out and get drunk in 48 hours but the craving is for the moment and not something that i think about logically, so it works.
I take one tablet every morning which is easy for me as i was always an afternoon drinker. Maybe if you are used to having your first drink at 9am this would be more difficult, but that was never my pattern of drinking.
There are no known side effects to the drug and it is completely non-addictive, you can stop taking the drug at anytime and have no withdrawl syptoms whatsoever. These are all facts!
I am still taking my anti-depressents and have another appointment with my psychiatrist on the 15th to discuss how long to take them etc. I am also seeing my counseller once a week.
Now I can't say which part of the recovery is working, but i sure as hell am not going to start experimenting to find out. There is no way i would have been able to stop for 10 weeks+ by myself, i wasted a lot of years trying!
Antabuse is a useful tool in the battle against alcoholism and one which should be given some thought. You should go to a counseller, IMO, rather than a doctor who will refer you to a psychiatrist who will then make sure, as much as he/she can, that you are not going to take the drug and then try and down a half bottle of scotch which could potentially kill you!
I have posted this before but my friend was on antabuse, he downed a can of large beer and we found him on the floor sweating, covered in red blotches and he had pood himself. We called the ambulance and the paramedics, after finding out what he had done and the meds he was on, told him to drink lots of water and not to drink whilst on antabuse (they obviously did the usual tests whilst they were there too!). The point is that if you take a swig of alcohol it will cause a very unpleasant side effect which is the whole point of the deterrant, it will not kill you unless you are trying to do yourself harm and down a half bottle of spirits before the effects of the meds make you ill.
I was given anti-depressants 7 years ago which i did not take, and have talked about antabuse for the last few years. Now it was my time to waste and i don't regret it, all i am doing is pointing out to anyone that stumbles across this post on a search for antabuse is that it does work, it won't kill you and it could mean the difference between getting sober now or coming back, even worse off, and getting sober in a couple/several years.
Obviously the drug helps you stay sober and does not tackle the disease of alcoholism which you will need to address as well through AA, counselling, SR...whatever you find works for you. But as my psychiatrist told me...we can help you but only if you do not drink anymore, if you keep drinking we can't help you...quite clear i thought!
Point...I am taking antabuse and it does work!
Please see Disulfiram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for more information
Good luck on your journey:-)
I was drinking everyday and was starting to plan how to end my life when i decided to try one very last time to get some help. After finding an English speaking Counseller in Spain I booked an appointment. She referred me to the psychiatrict and he prescribed me 3 drugs:
1. Seroxat (Paxil) as i had taken a text and was chronic on most areas, anxiety, depression etc.
2. Antabuse to provide a barrier to having that first drink
3. A med used to detox and for anxiety (highly addictive, I did not take this one)
Back to antabuse. I have been sober for just over 10 weeks now from drinking everyday. I still have my job and it has been commented on how much my work has changed and it is quite obvious that i was nearing the point where they were losing all patience with me and still live in a wonderful house in Spain.
Without the antabuse i would have found this time more difficult as it provides a reason, a good one, for me not to drink at that given time. The drug lasts up to 48 hours in your system so as soon as you have a craving there is a thought process which would be that I want a drink but i can't have a drink right now otherwise the effects of the drug would make me ill. It is possible to stop taking the drug and then go out and get drunk in 48 hours but the craving is for the moment and not something that i think about logically, so it works.
I take one tablet every morning which is easy for me as i was always an afternoon drinker. Maybe if you are used to having your first drink at 9am this would be more difficult, but that was never my pattern of drinking.
There are no known side effects to the drug and it is completely non-addictive, you can stop taking the drug at anytime and have no withdrawl syptoms whatsoever. These are all facts!
I am still taking my anti-depressents and have another appointment with my psychiatrist on the 15th to discuss how long to take them etc. I am also seeing my counseller once a week.
Now I can't say which part of the recovery is working, but i sure as hell am not going to start experimenting to find out. There is no way i would have been able to stop for 10 weeks+ by myself, i wasted a lot of years trying!
Antabuse is a useful tool in the battle against alcoholism and one which should be given some thought. You should go to a counseller, IMO, rather than a doctor who will refer you to a psychiatrist who will then make sure, as much as he/she can, that you are not going to take the drug and then try and down a half bottle of scotch which could potentially kill you!
I have posted this before but my friend was on antabuse, he downed a can of large beer and we found him on the floor sweating, covered in red blotches and he had pood himself. We called the ambulance and the paramedics, after finding out what he had done and the meds he was on, told him to drink lots of water and not to drink whilst on antabuse (they obviously did the usual tests whilst they were there too!). The point is that if you take a swig of alcohol it will cause a very unpleasant side effect which is the whole point of the deterrant, it will not kill you unless you are trying to do yourself harm and down a half bottle of spirits before the effects of the meds make you ill.
I was given anti-depressants 7 years ago which i did not take, and have talked about antabuse for the last few years. Now it was my time to waste and i don't regret it, all i am doing is pointing out to anyone that stumbles across this post on a search for antabuse is that it does work, it won't kill you and it could mean the difference between getting sober now or coming back, even worse off, and getting sober in a couple/several years.
Obviously the drug helps you stay sober and does not tackle the disease of alcoholism which you will need to address as well through AA, counselling, SR...whatever you find works for you. But as my psychiatrist told me...we can help you but only if you do not drink anymore, if you keep drinking we can't help you...quite clear i thought!
Point...I am taking antabuse and it does work!
Please see Disulfiram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for more information
Good luck on your journey:-)
Quit three days ago, wierd symptoms!
Hi all,
This is my first posting. I have been reading the forums for some time now, B/c of my desire to quit. I did for five days, two weeks ago, but didn't stick with it drank for another drink. I was a pretty heavy drinker: every day and sometimes in the morning. Drink of choice - vodka.
I cannot wait for the wierd symptoms to end! Both last time and this time I am miserable. At some times I feel like running out to get a bottle to make the symptom just go away.Can anyone identify with these?:
Super-itchyness all over my body, mostly in the night and mornings.
Body twitchess out of nowhere. Again, mostly at night.
Bright yellow diarreha (sorry I know it is gross, but what the heck is going on?)
Lack of appetite.
Of course I have the shakes and the anxiety, but the first part of the list I don't understand.
I am going to AA, but there are some things I would rather talk about in anonymity (as in the third one above)
I look forward to hearing from you!
This is my first posting. I have been reading the forums for some time now, B/c of my desire to quit. I did for five days, two weeks ago, but didn't stick with it drank for another drink. I was a pretty heavy drinker: every day and sometimes in the morning. Drink of choice - vodka.
I cannot wait for the wierd symptoms to end! Both last time and this time I am miserable. At some times I feel like running out to get a bottle to make the symptom just go away.Can anyone identify with these?:
Super-itchyness all over my body, mostly in the night and mornings.
Body twitchess out of nowhere. Again, mostly at night.
Bright yellow diarreha (sorry I know it is gross, but what the heck is going on?)
Lack of appetite.
Of course I have the shakes and the anxiety, but the first part of the list I don't understand.
I am going to AA, but there are some things I would rather talk about in anonymity (as in the third one above)
I look forward to hearing from you!
It’s the anxiety that does me in… PLEASE READ!!!!
(I now have 45 hours under my belt!!!!!)
I haven't had the shakes, very little dry heaving... I am keeping in Gatorade and yogurt and juice and am looking forward to cooking at my moms tonight... yes, my heart has raced a bit... but no where NEAR pass out levels... I am able to drive, take care of my kids, talk on the phone, take a shower.... no tinglies or bad dreams... hallucinations....
In my HEAD I know I only drank for 5 days and I wasn't chugging vodka or tequila 24 hours a day... I had maybe 30 mini-wines (which trust me, I know isn't so hot) but I have detoxed from WAY worse.... I know I am going to be alright in the sense I am not going to hallucinate or seize up... given the time under my belt already.... I know the Ativan will stop seizures and so on....
SO WHY WHY WHY do I sit here reading up on DT's and freaking that I am going to die tonight?
I HATE feeling like this.... and the sedative in the ativan makes it worse... the dry mouth, larthargy, headaches, and so on....
I haven't had the shakes, very little dry heaving... I am keeping in Gatorade and yogurt and juice and am looking forward to cooking at my moms tonight... yes, my heart has raced a bit... but no where NEAR pass out levels... I am able to drive, take care of my kids, talk on the phone, take a shower.... no tinglies or bad dreams... hallucinations....
In my HEAD I know I only drank for 5 days and I wasn't chugging vodka or tequila 24 hours a day... I had maybe 30 mini-wines (which trust me, I know isn't so hot) but I have detoxed from WAY worse.... I know I am going to be alright in the sense I am not going to hallucinate or seize up... given the time under my belt already.... I know the Ativan will stop seizures and so on....
SO WHY WHY WHY do I sit here reading up on DT's and freaking that I am going to die tonight?
I HATE feeling like this.... and the sedative in the ativan makes it worse... the dry mouth, larthargy, headaches, and so on....
Day 2
I am back to the beginning and this time I am quitting klonopin too. I was not on a high dose. Anxiety has always been an issue for me, so this will be extra challenging.
Day 1 AGAIN. I feel terrible!
:nykI had 29 days.... then drank moderately for 5 days.... quit for 3 days at Christmas so my kids would have a good Holiday... started back a the day after Christmas... took my last drink 23 hours ago!!!!
I don't know why I feel so yucky this time... I was only drinking at the most 9 mini wines in a 24 hour period during this last 4 day binge... no hard stuff.... whats 9 mini bottles? I mean 5-6 cups... thats nothing for a pro like me.... I used to have 1/2 to a whole a bottle (fifth) of vodka in a day and wine, too... and beer.... or at the very least two big bottles of wine...
I am really letting my anxiety get the best of this time. I am taking Ativan to curb it, but it doesn't seem t be helping as much tonight.... I let my fear of dying of a seizure (not that I have EVER had one) overtake me....
My husband is a good man, but he is ready to leave me.... he doesn't understand my fears or my addiction.... he says he is staying for the kids sake...
I don't know why I feel so yucky this time... I was only drinking at the most 9 mini wines in a 24 hour period during this last 4 day binge... no hard stuff.... whats 9 mini bottles? I mean 5-6 cups... thats nothing for a pro like me.... I used to have 1/2 to a whole a bottle (fifth) of vodka in a day and wine, too... and beer.... or at the very least two big bottles of wine...
I am really letting my anxiety get the best of this time. I am taking Ativan to curb it, but it doesn't seem t be helping as much tonight.... I let my fear of dying of a seizure (not that I have EVER had one) overtake me....
My husband is a good man, but he is ready to leave me.... he doesn't understand my fears or my addiction.... he says he is staying for the kids sake...
