Archive for the ‘Apple Pie’ tag
not sure about this
I am feeling uneasy and not sure if I am overreacting. Would love some perspectives.
Last night, my RABF got frustrated and had a temper outburst. I have told him once before that verbal assault, yelling or other negative communication is not tolerated in my world. I created a gentle safe home, and I will not have it trashed by emotional toxicity.
So, last night. We had worked well side by side all day on projects, and we were eating dinner. All was going beautifully. After dinner RABF is preparing to go to his AA mtg, and we are saying our goodbyes. He offered to take my dog outside, which I appreciated. He usually takes very good care and treats me and my animals well. My dog is a runner, and he knows this so we both know she needs to stay on her leash. I reminded him as he was going out to bring the leash. He got all macho and said no dog was running away on his watch, and he diodn't need a leash.
Well. He got distracted on the walk, took a call on his phone, left the dog on her own for a fair amount of time, and guess what/ she bolted after a squirrel into the night.
When he told me, I just matter of factly got my keyes, got in my car and started driving to look for the dog. It was raining, and miserab;le and we couldn't see a thing so we came home. Itold him to just go to the meeting and that I'd wait for vthe dog to return, because I knew eventually she would.
Again, he got all dramatic and said he wasn't leaving till the dog returned. Without getting loud, i insisted that it'd be fine. Just go. Honestly, I was feeling like I wanted some space by now. His emotions were getting very intense.
So, he walks thru the kitchen (on the JUST washed floor with muddy boots....aaarghh) and knocked over an entire apple pie. Aaaaarghhh again.
Why I minimize these irritations I do not know, but I was on my last nerve.
Dog comes home, and I was dealing with her the way I do: I spoke sternly but in a calm voice.
He, on the other hand, yelled and I mean LOUD yelling, at my dog, and traumatised the 2 of us for hours afterwords. It was excessive and inexcusable to speak that way.
After he left, I began to shut down totally. I feel that verbal assault of anyone or anything is never okay. It is abusive and aggressive. I felt so on edge and uncomfortable.
When we spoke this afternoon, I let RABF know that I cannot see him until I have had time to sort thru my feelings about his yelling, and told him that it is not acceptable in my ligfe, and that if it ever happens again, we are done.
He of course, thinks i am overreacting and don't know how to treat a dog properly and that I baby her, and came up with lots of BS about/rationalisations for it being appropriate when a dog takes off. I disagree and I know in my heart that my dog responds best to firm calm tones. She was shaking for hours. He also owned his behaviour and said he will look at why he lost his temper and apologised
My question besides just needing to air my thoughts here, is: am I being too harsh on him because of my own issues with DV in the way far distant past or am I being clear headed?
Last night, my RABF got frustrated and had a temper outburst. I have told him once before that verbal assault, yelling or other negative communication is not tolerated in my world. I created a gentle safe home, and I will not have it trashed by emotional toxicity.
So, last night. We had worked well side by side all day on projects, and we were eating dinner. All was going beautifully. After dinner RABF is preparing to go to his AA mtg, and we are saying our goodbyes. He offered to take my dog outside, which I appreciated. He usually takes very good care and treats me and my animals well. My dog is a runner, and he knows this so we both know she needs to stay on her leash. I reminded him as he was going out to bring the leash. He got all macho and said no dog was running away on his watch, and he diodn't need a leash.
Well. He got distracted on the walk, took a call on his phone, left the dog on her own for a fair amount of time, and guess what/ she bolted after a squirrel into the night.
When he told me, I just matter of factly got my keyes, got in my car and started driving to look for the dog. It was raining, and miserab;le and we couldn't see a thing so we came home. Itold him to just go to the meeting and that I'd wait for vthe dog to return, because I knew eventually she would.
Again, he got all dramatic and said he wasn't leaving till the dog returned. Without getting loud, i insisted that it'd be fine. Just go. Honestly, I was feeling like I wanted some space by now. His emotions were getting very intense.
So, he walks thru the kitchen (on the JUST washed floor with muddy boots....aaarghh) and knocked over an entire apple pie. Aaaaarghhh again.
Why I minimize these irritations I do not know, but I was on my last nerve.
Dog comes home, and I was dealing with her the way I do: I spoke sternly but in a calm voice.
He, on the other hand, yelled and I mean LOUD yelling, at my dog, and traumatised the 2 of us for hours afterwords. It was excessive and inexcusable to speak that way.
After he left, I began to shut down totally. I feel that verbal assault of anyone or anything is never okay. It is abusive and aggressive. I felt so on edge and uncomfortable.
When we spoke this afternoon, I let RABF know that I cannot see him until I have had time to sort thru my feelings about his yelling, and told him that it is not acceptable in my ligfe, and that if it ever happens again, we are done.
He of course, thinks i am overreacting and don't know how to treat a dog properly and that I baby her, and came up with lots of BS about/rationalisations for it being appropriate when a dog takes off. I disagree and I know in my heart that my dog responds best to firm calm tones. She was shaking for hours. He also owned his behaviour and said he will look at why he lost his temper and apologised
My question besides just needing to air my thoughts here, is: am I being too harsh on him because of my own issues with DV in the way far distant past or am I being clear headed?
Yesterday I Fell into the Depths of Depravity
I invited my family over for Thanksgiving dinner (21 people!) and cooked up one heck of a feast:
All home made. Boy, was I tired after all that cooking. Boy, was my house a mess. Boy, did 21 people create a lot of body heat. Boy, were they loud. But most of all...
Boy, I can't believe I ate all that.
Thank goodness for a joyous and bountiful year that allowed me to prepare such a lavish feast. Thank goodness for days filled with peace and tranquility and laughter and love. But mostly...
Thank goodness for pants with elastic waists.
Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday and if not, at least had something fabulous to eat!
- Honey baked ham
- Turkey
- Walnut/apricot cornbread stuffing
- Mashed potatoes and gravy
- Sweet potatoes
- Corn pudding
- Broccoli and califlower au gratin
- Green bean casserole
- Macaroni and cheese with smoked sausage
- Candied walnut/dried cranberry mixed green salad
- White chocolate/raspberry four-layer cake
- Apple pie
- French silk (chocolate) pie
- Pumpkin bread
All home made. Boy, was I tired after all that cooking. Boy, was my house a mess. Boy, did 21 people create a lot of body heat. Boy, were they loud. But most of all...
Boy, I can't believe I ate all that.
Thank goodness for a joyous and bountiful year that allowed me to prepare such a lavish feast. Thank goodness for days filled with peace and tranquility and laughter and love. But mostly...
Thank goodness for pants with elastic waists.
Hope everyone enjoyed their holiday and if not, at least had something fabulous to eat!
Day 4 and it’s a good one!
I slept well last night... a few night sweats which I actually think helped kick the rest of the "hangover" where my hormones were all whacked... Got up twice to check the turkey in the brine.... got up this morning, got a little lovin' in with my husband who is THE BEST for supporting me yet again (he has been sober for 17 months)... the turkey is in the oven, cranberry sauce done, green beans, and sweet potatoes, and stuffing ready to pop in the oven later.... all thats left is the mashed taters and apple pie.... My parents are bringing my son over (he spent the night there as treat) this afternoon and we will have a nice dinner and I have A TON TO BE THANKFUL FOR!
I AM ALIVE AND SOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Family loves me and supports me.... I know I can do this....
I AM ALIVE AND SOBER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My Family loves me and supports me.... I know I can do this....
