Archive for the ‘Appointment’ tag
Caught him Cheating Again … Is this Progression?
Well - it's not the first time and it IS with the same woman, who is also an alcoholic. He'd sworn up and down that he wasn't interested in her at all and he'd been drunk, etc. It's sure easy to blame alcohol for everything that goes wrong - isn't it?
Anyway - we'd split for a time when he met her and that would have been legit, except he hung onto me (his enabler) the whole time, and I couldn't really get rid of him completely because we owned a house together (I know not an excuse - but I needed him to be on board to at least try to help me sell, and he spent a lot of time trying to talk me out of it - which meant that I didn't get his support).
Found out that when I was getting together with a friend on Friday night - he decided to go out to the country to visit friends overnight. Well - he never left the city and spent all night until 4 the next afternoon with her. He's such a good liar that his lies were down to the last minute detail, but he'd left the computer on his mail passed out and I saw a message from her, which read that she was confused because he's told her that he loves her and was supposed to call her on Sunday, which he didn't and she knows NOTHING about me (he's such a good liar). He's been stringing her down the garden path as well ... but always blames his actions on the alcohol.
I freaked on him. It was the last straw. I woke him up out of a sound drunken sleep to confront him and he was still lying, even though I had the evidence, calling me insane, etc. I didn't sleep all night and today told him that was it! I wanted him out or I was leaving - although neither of us have anywhere to go, so it was moot. I was adamant though and held my ground. I told him never to touch me again, etc.
THEN - HE WENT TO REGISTER FOR REHAB TODAY - for the very first time. He's NEVER sought ANY help in all of the 13 years we've been together, although I've given him the information many times. He has an appointment for an assessment in a couple of weeks and is on call if there is a cancelation sooner. He said they told him I could join him for the consultation. Honestly, I told him that I wasn't sure I even cared enough to help with that and at the time I said it, I really meant it (but I feel myself softening a little).
Obviously, it took THIS nasty incident to happen in order for me to react firmly, and his worry of finally losing me for him to take the step. It's a HUGE step in the right direction (especially for the man who said he NEVER needed help with anything), but I'm feeling - too little - too late.
There is ZERO, ZILCH, NADA trust here. I wanted so badly to ditch him, and yet here I am just going with the flow ... I wish I had the courage of my convictions! Why should I have to put up with the abuse a second longer? He pleaded with me to give him 6 months.
Anyway - we'd split for a time when he met her and that would have been legit, except he hung onto me (his enabler) the whole time, and I couldn't really get rid of him completely because we owned a house together (I know not an excuse - but I needed him to be on board to at least try to help me sell, and he spent a lot of time trying to talk me out of it - which meant that I didn't get his support).
Found out that when I was getting together with a friend on Friday night - he decided to go out to the country to visit friends overnight. Well - he never left the city and spent all night until 4 the next afternoon with her. He's such a good liar that his lies were down to the last minute detail, but he'd left the computer on his mail passed out and I saw a message from her, which read that she was confused because he's told her that he loves her and was supposed to call her on Sunday, which he didn't and she knows NOTHING about me (he's such a good liar). He's been stringing her down the garden path as well ... but always blames his actions on the alcohol.
I freaked on him. It was the last straw. I woke him up out of a sound drunken sleep to confront him and he was still lying, even though I had the evidence, calling me insane, etc. I didn't sleep all night and today told him that was it! I wanted him out or I was leaving - although neither of us have anywhere to go, so it was moot. I was adamant though and held my ground. I told him never to touch me again, etc.
THEN - HE WENT TO REGISTER FOR REHAB TODAY - for the very first time. He's NEVER sought ANY help in all of the 13 years we've been together, although I've given him the information many times. He has an appointment for an assessment in a couple of weeks and is on call if there is a cancelation sooner. He said they told him I could join him for the consultation. Honestly, I told him that I wasn't sure I even cared enough to help with that and at the time I said it, I really meant it (but I feel myself softening a little).
Obviously, it took THIS nasty incident to happen in order for me to react firmly, and his worry of finally losing me for him to take the step. It's a HUGE step in the right direction (especially for the man who said he NEVER needed help with anything), but I'm feeling - too little - too late.
There is ZERO, ZILCH, NADA trust here. I wanted so badly to ditch him, and yet here I am just going with the flow ... I wish I had the courage of my convictions! Why should I have to put up with the abuse a second longer? He pleaded with me to give him 6 months.
Antabuse or disulfiram
I wanted to start this thread to share my experience of this medication and experiences of other people i know that have taken it as it is easy to just say 'i'm not taking meds' and in my case wasted 7 years of my life sticking to this principle.
I was drinking everyday and was starting to plan how to end my life when i decided to try one very last time to get some help. After finding an English speaking Counseller in Spain I booked an appointment. She referred me to the psychiatrict and he prescribed me 3 drugs:
1. Seroxat (Paxil) as i had taken a text and was chronic on most areas, anxiety, depression etc.
2. Antabuse to provide a barrier to having that first drink
3. A med used to detox and for anxiety (highly addictive, I did not take this one)
Back to antabuse. I have been sober for just over 10 weeks now from drinking everyday. I still have my job and it has been commented on how much my work has changed and it is quite obvious that i was nearing the point where they were losing all patience with me and still live in a wonderful house in Spain.
Without the antabuse i would have found this time more difficult as it provides a reason, a good one, for me not to drink at that given time. The drug lasts up to 48 hours in your system so as soon as you have a craving there is a thought process which would be that I want a drink but i can't have a drink right now otherwise the effects of the drug would make me ill. It is possible to stop taking the drug and then go out and get drunk in 48 hours but the craving is for the moment and not something that i think about logically, so it works.
I take one tablet every morning which is easy for me as i was always an afternoon drinker. Maybe if you are used to having your first drink at 9am this would be more difficult, but that was never my pattern of drinking.
There are no known side effects to the drug and it is completely non-addictive, you can stop taking the drug at anytime and have no withdrawl syptoms whatsoever. These are all facts!
I am still taking my anti-depressents and have another appointment with my psychiatrist on the 15th to discuss how long to take them etc. I am also seeing my counseller once a week.
Now I can't say which part of the recovery is working, but i sure as hell am not going to start experimenting to find out. There is no way i would have been able to stop for 10 weeks+ by myself, i wasted a lot of years trying!
Antabuse is a useful tool in the battle against alcoholism and one which should be given some thought. You should go to a counseller, IMO, rather than a doctor who will refer you to a psychiatrist who will then make sure, as much as he/she can, that you are not going to take the drug and then try and down a half bottle of scotch which could potentially kill you!
I have posted this before but my friend was on antabuse, he downed a can of large beer and we found him on the floor sweating, covered in red blotches and he had pood himself. We called the ambulance and the paramedics, after finding out what he had done and the meds he was on, told him to drink lots of water and not to drink whilst on antabuse (they obviously did the usual tests whilst they were there too!). The point is that if you take a swig of alcohol it will cause a very unpleasant side effect which is the whole point of the deterrant, it will not kill you unless you are trying to do yourself harm and down a half bottle of spirits before the effects of the meds make you ill.
I was given anti-depressants 7 years ago which i did not take, and have talked about antabuse for the last few years. Now it was my time to waste and i don't regret it, all i am doing is pointing out to anyone that stumbles across this post on a search for antabuse is that it does work, it won't kill you and it could mean the difference between getting sober now or coming back, even worse off, and getting sober in a couple/several years.
Obviously the drug helps you stay sober and does not tackle the disease of alcoholism which you will need to address as well through AA, counselling, SR...whatever you find works for you. But as my psychiatrist told me...we can help you but only if you do not drink anymore, if you keep drinking we can't help you...quite clear i thought!
Point...I am taking antabuse and it does work!
Please see Disulfiram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for more information
Good luck on your journey:-)
I was drinking everyday and was starting to plan how to end my life when i decided to try one very last time to get some help. After finding an English speaking Counseller in Spain I booked an appointment. She referred me to the psychiatrict and he prescribed me 3 drugs:
1. Seroxat (Paxil) as i had taken a text and was chronic on most areas, anxiety, depression etc.
2. Antabuse to provide a barrier to having that first drink
3. A med used to detox and for anxiety (highly addictive, I did not take this one)
Back to antabuse. I have been sober for just over 10 weeks now from drinking everyday. I still have my job and it has been commented on how much my work has changed and it is quite obvious that i was nearing the point where they were losing all patience with me and still live in a wonderful house in Spain.
Without the antabuse i would have found this time more difficult as it provides a reason, a good one, for me not to drink at that given time. The drug lasts up to 48 hours in your system so as soon as you have a craving there is a thought process which would be that I want a drink but i can't have a drink right now otherwise the effects of the drug would make me ill. It is possible to stop taking the drug and then go out and get drunk in 48 hours but the craving is for the moment and not something that i think about logically, so it works.
I take one tablet every morning which is easy for me as i was always an afternoon drinker. Maybe if you are used to having your first drink at 9am this would be more difficult, but that was never my pattern of drinking.
There are no known side effects to the drug and it is completely non-addictive, you can stop taking the drug at anytime and have no withdrawl syptoms whatsoever. These are all facts!
I am still taking my anti-depressents and have another appointment with my psychiatrist on the 15th to discuss how long to take them etc. I am also seeing my counseller once a week.
Now I can't say which part of the recovery is working, but i sure as hell am not going to start experimenting to find out. There is no way i would have been able to stop for 10 weeks+ by myself, i wasted a lot of years trying!
Antabuse is a useful tool in the battle against alcoholism and one which should be given some thought. You should go to a counseller, IMO, rather than a doctor who will refer you to a psychiatrist who will then make sure, as much as he/she can, that you are not going to take the drug and then try and down a half bottle of scotch which could potentially kill you!
I have posted this before but my friend was on antabuse, he downed a can of large beer and we found him on the floor sweating, covered in red blotches and he had pood himself. We called the ambulance and the paramedics, after finding out what he had done and the meds he was on, told him to drink lots of water and not to drink whilst on antabuse (they obviously did the usual tests whilst they were there too!). The point is that if you take a swig of alcohol it will cause a very unpleasant side effect which is the whole point of the deterrant, it will not kill you unless you are trying to do yourself harm and down a half bottle of spirits before the effects of the meds make you ill.
I was given anti-depressants 7 years ago which i did not take, and have talked about antabuse for the last few years. Now it was my time to waste and i don't regret it, all i am doing is pointing out to anyone that stumbles across this post on a search for antabuse is that it does work, it won't kill you and it could mean the difference between getting sober now or coming back, even worse off, and getting sober in a couple/several years.
Obviously the drug helps you stay sober and does not tackle the disease of alcoholism which you will need to address as well through AA, counselling, SR...whatever you find works for you. But as my psychiatrist told me...we can help you but only if you do not drink anymore, if you keep drinking we can't help you...quite clear i thought!
Point...I am taking antabuse and it does work!
Please see Disulfiram - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia for more information
Good luck on your journey:-)
Agitated
Hey All - Geez, last week I was saying how much my life is not unmanagable (and what I said was true, I function and laugh and have fun) but now I am I am feeling severely agitated tonight and don't know why. I can't get comfortable or relax. I am physically escalated, heavy heart beat, clenching jaw and muscles - just want to go run in to a wall or something. I just keep visualizing cutting myself...but I won't. I am not sober.
I think a lot has to do with the anxiety over the decisions I've been making in the past week. I have finally found a counselor but will not see her until after the first of he new year and thanks to some SR responses (thank you) previously and maybe a glimmer of common sense, am thinking about going to detox at some point thereafter. I have an appointment with the Dr. that wanted me to go to the ER last week coming up on Monday and have no idea what she expects to have changed; but, honestly, I've only gotten worse.. I think on purpose. I am trying to force myself into detox by escalating to the point that there is no other option. I feel insane! I have a bottle of Darvocet in the cabinet and want to add it in to the mix, but have been successful in not going there so far. I don't know why I can't just make the decision and do it NOW. I'll tell her that now because I opened myself up to being honest with her last week and to save my life I can't turn back now.
Just background - I've been drinking 'alcoholicly' for 24 years and daily for about 10 (vodka/whiskey for most of it and then switched to just beer about 5 years ago - yeah, cause that'll fix it - lol). I had 3 years sober in my early 20s, where did that go???? A few years of abusing painkillers thrown in there somewhere. I'm a little OCD and I think that contributes to the problem.. routines are routines... they MUST be completed.
Just had to vent and maybe writing it will make it real and I don't know... I just am having a hell of a time fixing myself.
I think a lot has to do with the anxiety over the decisions I've been making in the past week. I have finally found a counselor but will not see her until after the first of he new year and thanks to some SR responses (thank you) previously and maybe a glimmer of common sense, am thinking about going to detox at some point thereafter. I have an appointment with the Dr. that wanted me to go to the ER last week coming up on Monday and have no idea what she expects to have changed; but, honestly, I've only gotten worse.. I think on purpose. I am trying to force myself into detox by escalating to the point that there is no other option. I feel insane! I have a bottle of Darvocet in the cabinet and want to add it in to the mix, but have been successful in not going there so far. I don't know why I can't just make the decision and do it NOW. I'll tell her that now because I opened myself up to being honest with her last week and to save my life I can't turn back now.
Just background - I've been drinking 'alcoholicly' for 24 years and daily for about 10 (vodka/whiskey for most of it and then switched to just beer about 5 years ago - yeah, cause that'll fix it - lol). I had 3 years sober in my early 20s, where did that go???? A few years of abusing painkillers thrown in there somewhere. I'm a little OCD and I think that contributes to the problem.. routines are routines... they MUST be completed.
Just had to vent and maybe writing it will make it real and I don't know... I just am having a hell of a time fixing myself.
How can I detach without abandoning him?
Two days ago, after my brother drank again, I and his friend took him to the doctor. I then told my bro I had to take a step back from his situation, because I couldn't help him and it was driving me crazy trying.
Yesterday, my brother's friend called my mom with an update to let her know he had a psych appointment and was doing okay. This morning I had an email from my brother letting me know he's sober and planning to see the psych again (though the next appointment isn't until Jan. 4); he is hopeful this will help.
While I am greatly relieved that my brother is sober - for now - and taking steps to stay that way, I don't feel ready to resume contact with him. It's fine when he emails to say he's doing okay ... but then if I DON'T hear from him, I'm swept up in anxiety again. I responded to his email that I was glad he is doing okay, hoped he was staying in contact with his sponsor, and that I love him very much.
I know I am not in a good place emotionally to be able to be in touch with him; I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown. But I also don't want to a) make him feel I've abandoned him when he's trying to get better; and/or b) make him feel guilty or even more depressed because of my emotional state.
Advice?
Yesterday, my brother's friend called my mom with an update to let her know he had a psych appointment and was doing okay. This morning I had an email from my brother letting me know he's sober and planning to see the psych again (though the next appointment isn't until Jan. 4); he is hopeful this will help.
While I am greatly relieved that my brother is sober - for now - and taking steps to stay that way, I don't feel ready to resume contact with him. It's fine when he emails to say he's doing okay ... but then if I DON'T hear from him, I'm swept up in anxiety again. I responded to his email that I was glad he is doing okay, hoped he was staying in contact with his sponsor, and that I love him very much.
I know I am not in a good place emotionally to be able to be in touch with him; I feel like I'm on the edge of a breakdown. But I also don't want to a) make him feel I've abandoned him when he's trying to get better; and/or b) make him feel guilty or even more depressed because of my emotional state.
Advice?
Cause of it all.
I went to my counseling appointment this morning. Normally I go with my partner. Today it was just me.
My counselor was really happy/proud of the 3 days. Well, today is the 3rd day rrreally.
We discussed how anxiety and lack of self esteem is the root of it all. She also assured me it wasn't vanity that led me to this point, because that was sticking in my head people always say your so vain etc to think these things.
I know that I have two voices in my head (gee, that makes me sound crazy). I have one telling me I am boring worthless and ugly and that people don't want to be around me or engage in me.
And then I have one saying come on, your ok, you can do this.
My counselor said what would you think if I tell you, you are quiet attractive. I said I would think you are lying to me to try & get me to believe you, when your not really thinking that.
So obviously she told me I have a major problem trusting people, which I know.
She said what do you think you look like? I couldn't even answer my mind was totally numb and I just couldn't feel anything.
It's so stupid isn't it. Every time I go out I have to do myself up to the nines. Just because I am worried people think I am not good enough.
Anyway enough ranting for now. I know all the problems, just not how to fix them.
My counselor was really happy/proud of the 3 days. Well, today is the 3rd day rrreally.
We discussed how anxiety and lack of self esteem is the root of it all. She also assured me it wasn't vanity that led me to this point, because that was sticking in my head people always say your so vain etc to think these things.
I know that I have two voices in my head (gee, that makes me sound crazy). I have one telling me I am boring worthless and ugly and that people don't want to be around me or engage in me.
And then I have one saying come on, your ok, you can do this.
My counselor said what would you think if I tell you, you are quiet attractive. I said I would think you are lying to me to try & get me to believe you, when your not really thinking that.
So obviously she told me I have a major problem trusting people, which I know.
She said what do you think you look like? I couldn't even answer my mind was totally numb and I just couldn't feel anything.
It's so stupid isn't it. Every time I go out I have to do myself up to the nines. Just because I am worried people think I am not good enough.
Anyway enough ranting for now. I know all the problems, just not how to fix them.
New here, and with a question
Hello everyone. I've been reading this forum for a few weeks now, and you all seem very friendly and knowledgeable, so I hope it's OK if I jump right in.
My husband of 7 years is struggling with his addiction to opiates. He has abused alcohol and a few other things in the past, but it's the opiates that have really drawn him in to where he's gotten pretty messed up. He was drinking and using most of 2007, until we (our marriage) hit rock bottom around Xmas of last year, and he sobered up. (I took our 3-year old daughter to my mom's for a few days and threatened to stay there if he couldn't get it together.) He did OK for a while, but he has had several relapses in 2008, and most recently, I found out that he had been using again during most of October of this year. Around the first week of November, he got so messed up that he fell and hit his head hard enough to make me wonder if he had a concussion (he didn't).
I never know (though sometimes suspect) that he's using. He's insanely good at hiding it, and while I often have a gu feeling -- I've learned to trust my my gut -- he's so convincing when he lies to my face and says he's just tired/sick/stressed/etc. that I have often given him the benefit of the doubt.
This time is different though. I've had it. I can't even tell you how traumatic all of this has been for me -- how terrifying, horrifying, devastating, etc. -- so no more. I absolutely insisted he get help this time, and so far, he has attended one counseling appointment. He still needs to call to set up the second. I'm trying hard not to bug him about it, but this is exactly my problem. I don't know when to get on him about something anymore, and when to lay off. I don't trust him anymore. That has been the saddest thing about all of this for me. He's a great person, and I want to be able to believe what he says and know he's telling me the truth, but I just can't anymore. He is very bothere about that and says we can never move forward if I'm not going to trust him and believe him, but seriously, that's going to take a while for me. A long while.
One other dilemma: We both work at the same place, and we are both well-respected by our colleages. It turns out, though, that a coworker had been giving my husband all kinds of pain pills from a recent surgery she had. He told her he gets migraines, and because he has a good reputation at work, I'm sure this woman totally believes him. My husband begged me not to say anything to her (now that I know) but I don't know what to do. I'm not angry at the coworker because it's HIS problem, HIS addiction, etc. and she's not a bad person. I'm sure she just thought she was being helpful. I would like to talk to her privately, thoughm, explain that my husband has an addiction we're trying hard to deal with, and ask her please never to give him anything ever again. My husband would be very embarassed if I did that (though of course I'd ask her not to say anything), so I'm torn. Again, it boils down to trust. Do I or don't I?
My husband of 7 years is struggling with his addiction to opiates. He has abused alcohol and a few other things in the past, but it's the opiates that have really drawn him in to where he's gotten pretty messed up. He was drinking and using most of 2007, until we (our marriage) hit rock bottom around Xmas of last year, and he sobered up. (I took our 3-year old daughter to my mom's for a few days and threatened to stay there if he couldn't get it together.) He did OK for a while, but he has had several relapses in 2008, and most recently, I found out that he had been using again during most of October of this year. Around the first week of November, he got so messed up that he fell and hit his head hard enough to make me wonder if he had a concussion (he didn't).
I never know (though sometimes suspect) that he's using. He's insanely good at hiding it, and while I often have a gu feeling -- I've learned to trust my my gut -- he's so convincing when he lies to my face and says he's just tired/sick/stressed/etc. that I have often given him the benefit of the doubt.
This time is different though. I've had it. I can't even tell you how traumatic all of this has been for me -- how terrifying, horrifying, devastating, etc. -- so no more. I absolutely insisted he get help this time, and so far, he has attended one counseling appointment. He still needs to call to set up the second. I'm trying hard not to bug him about it, but this is exactly my problem. I don't know when to get on him about something anymore, and when to lay off. I don't trust him anymore. That has been the saddest thing about all of this for me. He's a great person, and I want to be able to believe what he says and know he's telling me the truth, but I just can't anymore. He is very bothere about that and says we can never move forward if I'm not going to trust him and believe him, but seriously, that's going to take a while for me. A long while.
One other dilemma: We both work at the same place, and we are both well-respected by our colleages. It turns out, though, that a coworker had been giving my husband all kinds of pain pills from a recent surgery she had. He told her he gets migraines, and because he has a good reputation at work, I'm sure this woman totally believes him. My husband begged me not to say anything to her (now that I know) but I don't know what to do. I'm not angry at the coworker because it's HIS problem, HIS addiction, etc. and she's not a bad person. I'm sure she just thought she was being helpful. I would like to talk to her privately, thoughm, explain that my husband has an addiction we're trying hard to deal with, and ask her please never to give him anything ever again. My husband would be very embarassed if I did that (though of course I'd ask her not to say anything), so I'm torn. Again, it boils down to trust. Do I or don't I?
I can’t take this much longer….
I'm sorry to be negative, I feel selfish writing when I see so many have the same issues, I hope someone out there will listen to me vent a little and perhaps give me some guidence.
If any of you know I'm new here, and I'm trying to get up the strenght to ask my bf of 3 yrs to move out of my home.
I still love him- but I know he has to go. I have done this before, and I always take him back... this time HAS to be different, so I'm trying to build strenght and make sure this will be the final move out.
I called my doctor 4 him- per his request - to find out if there is something he could take to get off the pills- he said he would help- however my bf had to call and make the appointment.
He said on Friday he would call- its now monday and no calls. what a shock. yesterday was HELL for me, however, I felt numb to him. Yesterday he had no pills/money and was nurseing a (what he thought was a hidden withdrawl.) Well today- happy guy is back. Yep- must of gotten his hands on some more pills. He also drank thur, frid,sat,and stopped 4 1 after work tonight. MYGOD!
WE were just downstairs watching intervention- (funny you guys were just posting about that) by the way - his choice to watch. He watched it- and at the end joked by saying "by the way if you ever have tv cameras in our livingroom i'm out of here"
I responded by saying- why don't you just start by calling the doctor like you said.... he said "i will...." bla bla bla I feel like I'm talking to charlie browns teacher.
Well.. long story short , I've been home now for a few hrs, his high is apparently wearing off, and when I asked him to watch a music video, he walked away saying "i just don't feel like it"
SELFISH SELFISH I feel like I cant STAND him.
I was going to take this opportunity to point out how much I can't stand what this addiction has done to him- but instead i came up here.... He is baffled and thinks im being a bitch, dosen't see what I'm upset about.
I CANT EXPLAIN THIS TO HIM ANY LONGER.... ITS USELESS....
If any of you know I'm new here, and I'm trying to get up the strenght to ask my bf of 3 yrs to move out of my home.
I still love him- but I know he has to go. I have done this before, and I always take him back... this time HAS to be different, so I'm trying to build strenght and make sure this will be the final move out.
I called my doctor 4 him- per his request - to find out if there is something he could take to get off the pills- he said he would help- however my bf had to call and make the appointment.
He said on Friday he would call- its now monday and no calls. what a shock. yesterday was HELL for me, however, I felt numb to him. Yesterday he had no pills/money and was nurseing a (what he thought was a hidden withdrawl.) Well today- happy guy is back. Yep- must of gotten his hands on some more pills. He also drank thur, frid,sat,and stopped 4 1 after work tonight. MYGOD!
WE were just downstairs watching intervention- (funny you guys were just posting about that) by the way - his choice to watch. He watched it- and at the end joked by saying "by the way if you ever have tv cameras in our livingroom i'm out of here"
I responded by saying- why don't you just start by calling the doctor like you said.... he said "i will...." bla bla bla I feel like I'm talking to charlie browns teacher.
Well.. long story short , I've been home now for a few hrs, his high is apparently wearing off, and when I asked him to watch a music video, he walked away saying "i just don't feel like it"
SELFISH SELFISH I feel like I cant STAND him.
I was going to take this opportunity to point out how much I can't stand what this addiction has done to him- but instead i came up here.... He is baffled and thinks im being a bitch, dosen't see what I'm upset about.
I CANT EXPLAIN THIS TO HIM ANY LONGER.... ITS USELESS....
hi I’m new here…
Boy do I feel like an idiot already- I don't know much about "posting" etc. so I tried posting something- and accidently posted it on the "new to recovery" site- I hope I didn't make people who are trying to quit angry. Because when I was writing- I put in there what I wanted to ask people in this section. I will try and be brief. I have lived with my addict boyfriend for three years. At first I thought he just "partied" too much. Then I found out cocaine was involved. Now- the past year- I know that he is useing oxycodone. I have done everything I can to support/help him. I am in therapy myself- learning how to cope. He will not go to meetings- says he will then dosen't.
He cant come off these pills without HUGE withdrawls. He (upon my suggestion) asked me to call our doctor to see if he could help. will he follow up with the doctor and make the appointment?? I doubt it. Its like beating my head against a brick wall. I can't detatch. I have educated myself about the process- but I just can't. I keep waiting for the man I used to love to show up- it isn't happening- and I don't think it ever will. He said to me the other night- giving up coke and alcohol is "easy" he only needs help with quitting the pills - that he knows the PILLS are a problem?? Jezzzzz- are you kidding?? how can he believe that the pills are an issue- but the other stuff? eah no biggie>> its just complete craziness. I love this man, but I can't stay around being "detached" doing my own thing.... I would just rather live alone with my kids. to pretend the pink elephant in the room isn't there - just dosen't work for me. He dosen't steal from me, he is not abusive to me, he is just plain ol selfish, inconsiderate, and the CONSTANT partying ALWAYS comes before me and my children. I do not wish to PRETEND its not happening anymore. Do I sound selfish? I hope not, I am just exhausted emotionally- trying to help. And now trying to DETATCH. I have broken up with him before (my home) and when he leaves its a matter of days before we "talk" _ I "believe" and then we both pretend untill he comes home high as a kite and I loose it. ..... same merry-go-round. I know I'm at fault for accepting his behavior- and I'm sad for that. I didn't see how deep he was in- untill my heart was way to invested. I just need some help/support/ any words of wisdom, on how I can walk away and not go back on the merrygo round. Also, I need to know If others understand that I can't see myself staying and trying to "be there for him, yet remain detatched" I just cant do it- no matter how much I love- I feel it would be better to just move on, grieve the loss and get better for myself. It hurts terribly. and I will miss him, but I ALREADY miss the man I love, I just stay holding on to the slight glimpses i still see of him.
Sorry to be long-winded....
Thankyou for listening.
Cess
He cant come off these pills without HUGE withdrawls. He (upon my suggestion) asked me to call our doctor to see if he could help. will he follow up with the doctor and make the appointment?? I doubt it. Its like beating my head against a brick wall. I can't detatch. I have educated myself about the process- but I just can't. I keep waiting for the man I used to love to show up- it isn't happening- and I don't think it ever will. He said to me the other night- giving up coke and alcohol is "easy" he only needs help with quitting the pills - that he knows the PILLS are a problem?? Jezzzzz- are you kidding?? how can he believe that the pills are an issue- but the other stuff? eah no biggie>> its just complete craziness. I love this man, but I can't stay around being "detached" doing my own thing.... I would just rather live alone with my kids. to pretend the pink elephant in the room isn't there - just dosen't work for me. He dosen't steal from me, he is not abusive to me, he is just plain ol selfish, inconsiderate, and the CONSTANT partying ALWAYS comes before me and my children. I do not wish to PRETEND its not happening anymore. Do I sound selfish? I hope not, I am just exhausted emotionally- trying to help. And now trying to DETATCH. I have broken up with him before (my home) and when he leaves its a matter of days before we "talk" _ I "believe" and then we both pretend untill he comes home high as a kite and I loose it. ..... same merry-go-round. I know I'm at fault for accepting his behavior- and I'm sad for that. I didn't see how deep he was in- untill my heart was way to invested. I just need some help/support/ any words of wisdom, on how I can walk away and not go back on the merrygo round. Also, I need to know If others understand that I can't see myself staying and trying to "be there for him, yet remain detatched" I just cant do it- no matter how much I love- I feel it would be better to just move on, grieve the loss and get better for myself. It hurts terribly. and I will miss him, but I ALREADY miss the man I love, I just stay holding on to the slight glimpses i still see of him.
Sorry to be long-winded....
Thankyou for listening.
Cess
Starting suboxone Monday
Glad to be here & just wanted to say hello.
After several failed attempts to go cold turkey & once (on my own) a couple years ago taking suboxone, I finally made an appointment with a suboxone doctor for Monday.
I'm at that point where I hate hydrocodone. I hate the way it makes me feel and I'm sick of just having to take it to avoid withdrawal feelings. I take anywhere from 5-7 pills a day, the 10/325 strength. I've never been able to take them as prescribed because I use them for other reasons, always running out, going through withdrawals, swearing I can control them when I get the next refill, etc.
When I used suboxone a couple years ago, it worked very well but I used it short term for about 2 weeks. It just wasn't long enough for me personally.
I've got physical pain in my back from surgeries, but I am going to take OTC and whatever the suboxone doctor suggests for it.
I've been trying to find an NA meeting in my area but I am in a podunk town - the nearest is 1 1/2 hours away from me. I wonder why we don't have any closer - it's kind of strange. I'm going to keep looking. Do any of you have a hard time finding meetings??
Anyway, I've just been reading a lot of the stories the last few days....I'm moved by the strength & compassion shown toward each other here. Hope to talk with you all soon.
After several failed attempts to go cold turkey & once (on my own) a couple years ago taking suboxone, I finally made an appointment with a suboxone doctor for Monday.
I'm at that point where I hate hydrocodone. I hate the way it makes me feel and I'm sick of just having to take it to avoid withdrawal feelings. I take anywhere from 5-7 pills a day, the 10/325 strength. I've never been able to take them as prescribed because I use them for other reasons, always running out, going through withdrawals, swearing I can control them when I get the next refill, etc.
When I used suboxone a couple years ago, it worked very well but I used it short term for about 2 weeks. It just wasn't long enough for me personally.
I've got physical pain in my back from surgeries, but I am going to take OTC and whatever the suboxone doctor suggests for it.
I've been trying to find an NA meeting in my area but I am in a podunk town - the nearest is 1 1/2 hours away from me. I wonder why we don't have any closer - it's kind of strange. I'm going to keep looking. Do any of you have a hard time finding meetings??
Anyway, I've just been reading a lot of the stories the last few days....I'm moved by the strength & compassion shown toward each other here. Hope to talk with you all soon.
“Regular” People Rehab?
I don't know if this may help any of you out there but this is something I started doing a few weeks ago and it has helped me. I can not afford to enter a rehab and I am still waiting for an appointment with my shrink so I started recording the show Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. When I am feeling pretty bad, I watch it and I relate what they do in that show to my own recovery. Last week was about mothers and how they can influence your addiction. It really helped me open my eyes about some things. I have not allowed myself to feel any emotions for so long that I do not know exactly how to bring out the reasons for my addiction and deal with them, but this show has actually helped me some. It comes on the VH1 channel if you have it. You might want to check it out. The new episodes come on Thursday night at 10 and again at 12 or 1am I think, they also replay it during the week.
