Archive for the ‘Bac’ tag
BREATHALYZERS
The Blood Alcohol Content (BAC) is estimated using Breathalyzer tests with a device called breathalyzer. A number of breathalyzers are available to estimate the concentration of blood in a human’s body and it is called as blood alcohol content or blood alcohol concentration. The BAC is usually measured in terms of mass per volume [...]
Struggling….Again
I have made so much progress since I last posted -- somehow I finally "cut the cord" and started moving into the future (i.e., finally seeing a lawyer to begin the formal separation process; telling friends that my marriage to my AH was over; settling into a life with my 2 children, one without the constant depression, chaos, and anxiety. My AH, living on his own now, has continued to spiral downward, or to "circle the drain" as one friend wisely put it. He has asked about our chances of reconciliation and indicates that my response ("I've moved on") leaves him deeply depressed and feeling that his life is "in utter disarray." Just a few days ago he lost a part-time job he had gotten (after losing a good job after two DUIs); he was taken, drunk, from work to the hospital and had a BAC of .401.
Although I still feel detached, and have no urge to take him back home (despite his "threats" that unless I let him he'll end up homeless), I'm also now beginning to feel truly scared that he will kill himself, which in turn makes me feel very guilty. Is there anyone out there who has been through this? Any advice for getting over this latest struggle? I've been tempted to try to call his former sponsor, but have so far resisted, feeling like I had really made some progress myself with detaching. Quiet Girl.
Although I still feel detached, and have no urge to take him back home (despite his "threats" that unless I let him he'll end up homeless), I'm also now beginning to feel truly scared that he will kill himself, which in turn makes me feel very guilty. Is there anyone out there who has been through this? Any advice for getting over this latest struggle? I've been tempted to try to call his former sponsor, but have so far resisted, feeling like I had really made some progress myself with detaching. Quiet Girl.
When was your “miracle”?
AA talks a lot about spiritual experiences and miracles. I've been sober for almost 15 months now and have been thinking a lot about how come I was able to stop drinking. I think about drinking, but have never once had a single temptation to pick up a bottle. The idea makes me sick. When I checked into treatment I had a BAC of .23. That was after drinking a normal amount for a typical morning. They put me on librium for 7 days. On the 7th day, they took me off it, and from that point on I was all on my own. No more drugs and no alcohol for miles. I didn't know if i'd freak out and go crazy or just dry up and blow away. I felt completely disconnected from everyone and everything I knew, like I was in some parallel universe. For the next few days I was in a real blur, almost like there were two of me. Each looking at the other. About 3 weeks in, when my mental fog lifted, I knew that I could finish treatment and that maybe I could be sober for real this time. I left treatment feeling like a million bucks. For me there is only one explanation that can account for this and that is God. It just doesn't make sense otherwise.
I'd love to hear other peoples stories about how they finally quit.
I'd love to hear other peoples stories about how they finally quit.
Ol Tex in some trouble and a very odd situation.
Alright, so I've been sober since the end of January. I've been going to AA and doing all the "right" stuff.
So who get's in a minor fender bender last night and spends the rest of the night in jail? That's right....this guy! I was on my way home from work, rear ended someone minorly and when the cops show up I fail field sobriety. I demand a blood test or breathalyzer. I blow a .27. Jail, aggravated DUI.
Here's the thing. I can honestly tell this message board I had nothing to drink. Even the doctors at the jail were asking my arresting officer if I was concious because there's no way I could've been operating a vehicle at that BAC according to them. He interviews me, doesn't give me any medications and puts me in gen pop. No withdrawals or anything. Even the CO's are confused. The DA takes one look at me and releases me OR, no bond. So I call my MD and ask what might set off a false positive. Going for blood work again in the morning. I get the best lawyer money can buy in this town but even he doesn't want to defend this case if I'm going to go with the "I wasn't drinking" defense, because the Breathalyzer's obviously say different. I think I have to plead this down and actually take a hit for something I know in my heart I didn't do.
I have no idea what to do and I'm flipping out. I was in jail ten hours, came home and fell asleep and still made it to work. Again, no drinking at all and I came home to my home breathalyzer and blow a .26.
What the hell could be causing this? I wouldn't lie I WASN'T DRINKING!
So who get's in a minor fender bender last night and spends the rest of the night in jail? That's right....this guy! I was on my way home from work, rear ended someone minorly and when the cops show up I fail field sobriety. I demand a blood test or breathalyzer. I blow a .27. Jail, aggravated DUI.
Here's the thing. I can honestly tell this message board I had nothing to drink. Even the doctors at the jail were asking my arresting officer if I was concious because there's no way I could've been operating a vehicle at that BAC according to them. He interviews me, doesn't give me any medications and puts me in gen pop. No withdrawals or anything. Even the CO's are confused. The DA takes one look at me and releases me OR, no bond. So I call my MD and ask what might set off a false positive. Going for blood work again in the morning. I get the best lawyer money can buy in this town but even he doesn't want to defend this case if I'm going to go with the "I wasn't drinking" defense, because the Breathalyzer's obviously say different. I think I have to plead this down and actually take a hit for something I know in my heart I didn't do.
I have no idea what to do and I'm flipping out. I was in jail ten hours, came home and fell asleep and still made it to work. Again, no drinking at all and I came home to my home breathalyzer and blow a .26.
What the hell could be causing this? I wouldn't lie I WASN'T DRINKING!
Day 8, and stuff..
Well, today is almost over.. yesterday was my week one, since the infamous ER trip. I ended up getting my medical records (seeing as how I had no memory of anything, and WANT one), and the initial BAC of .45 was then changed to .55. I shouldn't be here, and I am. I still have a mark where my IV was... it's kinda silly but I wish it wouldn't go away.. a reminder of how dark it gets.
On a lighter note.. I find that I've replaced my "down" time usually spent drinking, with going to the gym. Not an unhealthy amount like I did at first, but just kinda got into an after work routine that calms me, and recharges my brain after a hard day of work. I know there's a lot to be said about replacing addictions, but for now, it's what I do, and I feel better and stronger than I have in many.. too many years.
Kind of funny.. I was at the gym today.. and Black Dahlia by Hollywood Undead came on my MP3 as I was lifting some weights, and it's this really emo-yelling song clearly about a breakup, and I started framing the words in my head as if the guy (and myself) were yelling at alcohol.. holy smokes my arms are going to hate me tomorrow lol
Just blabbin, I hope you are all feeling well and loving yourselves as much as possible. I'm not a very spiritual person... but considering what I've been through in the past 9 days, I feel lucky, if not blessed to be here to type this.
On a lighter note.. I find that I've replaced my "down" time usually spent drinking, with going to the gym. Not an unhealthy amount like I did at first, but just kinda got into an after work routine that calms me, and recharges my brain after a hard day of work. I know there's a lot to be said about replacing addictions, but for now, it's what I do, and I feel better and stronger than I have in many.. too many years.
Kind of funny.. I was at the gym today.. and Black Dahlia by Hollywood Undead came on my MP3 as I was lifting some weights, and it's this really emo-yelling song clearly about a breakup, and I started framing the words in my head as if the guy (and myself) were yelling at alcohol.. holy smokes my arms are going to hate me tomorrow lol
Just blabbin, I hope you are all feeling well and loving yourselves as much as possible. I'm not a very spiritual person... but considering what I've been through in the past 9 days, I feel lucky, if not blessed to be here to type this.
Home from the ER. Day 1.
Well, I did it. Hit my rock bottom. I don't remember much.
I have been hiding my drinking from husband/family, that damn vodka is too easy to hide.
I don't remember yesterday much, other than the fact that I woke up in the ER with an IV, a pulse o2 monitor, and my husband and parents standing around me the more pain on their faces than I've seen.
What had I done? I remembered nothing. This was at NOON.
My husband found me practically incoherant and of course I said I had nothing to drink, didn't take any sleeping pills.. I lied. He called my parents, who also had the same luck he did in getting me to tell them what happened. I can honestly say, I didn't know.
911, ambulance... ER. There's still a small puddle of blood on the floor of my garage from when they stuck the IV.
The doctor at the hospital said that he had never seen someone alive, with my BAC, which then indicated how much, and for how long I had been drinking. .45... what? that's coma, death, seizure. I was awake the entire time, it's baffling not only to me, but just about every medical staff that cared for me.
Tried to send me to a detox, but after 7 hours, and with my family's reluctance, I went home, to bed, with a Rx of anxiety meds (2 days worth), to stop any possible seizure activity. How in the hell did it get this far? I've drank too much, for a very long time, got "too" buzzed at the bar, stumbled instead of walked. What is it in me that made me this way?
Obviously I will see out patient treatment, and try to figure this out. I cannot drink again, although, as normal as I feel, the thought is JUST in the back of my mind. It fixes everything right? Not when you're dead.
So here I am, scared to death to go clean up the blood on the floor. But at least I'm able to do it.
Thank you :)
I have been hiding my drinking from husband/family, that damn vodka is too easy to hide.
I don't remember yesterday much, other than the fact that I woke up in the ER with an IV, a pulse o2 monitor, and my husband and parents standing around me the more pain on their faces than I've seen.
What had I done? I remembered nothing. This was at NOON.
My husband found me practically incoherant and of course I said I had nothing to drink, didn't take any sleeping pills.. I lied. He called my parents, who also had the same luck he did in getting me to tell them what happened. I can honestly say, I didn't know.
911, ambulance... ER. There's still a small puddle of blood on the floor of my garage from when they stuck the IV.
The doctor at the hospital said that he had never seen someone alive, with my BAC, which then indicated how much, and for how long I had been drinking. .45... what? that's coma, death, seizure. I was awake the entire time, it's baffling not only to me, but just about every medical staff that cared for me.
Tried to send me to a detox, but after 7 hours, and with my family's reluctance, I went home, to bed, with a Rx of anxiety meds (2 days worth), to stop any possible seizure activity. How in the hell did it get this far? I've drank too much, for a very long time, got "too" buzzed at the bar, stumbled instead of walked. What is it in me that made me this way?
Obviously I will see out patient treatment, and try to figure this out. I cannot drink again, although, as normal as I feel, the thought is JUST in the back of my mind. It fixes everything right? Not when you're dead.
So here I am, scared to death to go clean up the blood on the floor. But at least I'm able to do it.
Thank you :)
Really WEIRD day…can I vent here without critisism??
Wow, what a weird day. My brain is just totally confused & frazzled. I need to vent, clear my head so as to make logical sense out of all of this. Please understand that this is probably pure venting, not thinking too much into things.....just overwhelmed right now with emotions. I really can do without harsh critism.......so PLEASE just help me to figure this all out to **MY** best interest.
Let me start with yesterday. I had a REALLY WEIRD STRONG gut feeling that I should go to the magistrate's office to get a copy of my AXB 2004 police report, which if you remember, includes a warrant currently on him for not showing up for an arraingment hearing. This feeling came way out of the blue........I cannot even imagine WHERE this feeling came from! It just CAME. We had started a file folder last year, when he was wanting to straighten out his life, deal with this warrant, etc. I'm pretty good with legal stuff, and started digging up info & plans. He got scared half way into the process, and backed away. We needed to get a copy of this 2004 police report to find out what his BAC was (in PA, BAC matters alot as to sentencing/this is his 2nd offense in 10 years). He forbid me to going to the magistrate, he was afraid I was opening a can of worms. Anyway, we've been split up for 5 weeks, and yesterday I felt this URGENT gut feeling that I should get this police report NOW. I kept trying to fight this urge, thinking it was "codie"......I even asked God for a "sign" because Alon-On says I should not do such things....mind my OWN business, etc. So this morning, I called his mom and she said "This is the PERFECT TIME......you HONESTLY do not know where he is at if they ask, and if you feel in your gut that you should persue this, then DO IT". So, I figured this was "my sign". Some may think this is rediculous, but I just felt like it was what I needed to do, for whatever reason. Okay...got the police report.......after a very RUDE time at the magistrates.......ugh.....they didn't want to give it to me, then when I told them it was public record & the sherriffs dept advised me to go there to get it.....they finally gave me a copy.
Then, upon reading it, I was REALLY feeling horrible.......his blood alcohol level was .77........the LETHAL level is .50 for a NORMAL human...any normal human would be DEAD at .77.....yet my AXB was DRIVING with a BAC of .77. UGH!!!!! After reading the book "Under The Influence" I understand how an alcoholics body becomes tolerant to higher than lethal doses of alcohol.......but this info on the report just stunned me. It hit me SO hard as to how serious his desease is. If he is able to consume so much more than LETHAL level of alcohol, and still function to drive a car....then he is in SEVERLY bad shape........SICK beyond believe. It breaks my HEART!!!!!! And I was just bummed, thinking negetive....thinking "there is NO hope for this".
Was going through various emotions all evening. Discussed it with his mom, and we were like thinking worst case scenerios like the alcohol was going to eventually kill him, etc. I was just SICK......please understand, I LOVE this guy, and feel SO helpless!!!!!!!!
I kNOW........I didn't casue it, can't CURE it, etc.......but still have these emotions........ugh!!
Then tonight......totally out of the blue, after 5 weeks, he phones me. If you all remember, I phoned him last week, leaving a message on his machine. He didn't call back, so I just chalked it off as he preferred alcohol over me. But it was so odd that he phoned TONIGHT after all this crazy stuff, new legal findings, and severe emotions. I didn't mention the report, I just did not feel it was the right time, it will only scare him away more IF he is "ready" to deal with his warrant. He was vague on the phone, not admitting any faults or anyting, just saying he wasn't happy with his new apt, etc........and saying something about if he could find a ride, he would pick up the stuff he left here this weekend (I'm sure just an "excuse" to test the waters). I'm not sure, but from what I get, life isn't so great for him right now. But he is SO proud, and won't admit it.........he kinda wants me to BEG. URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the man with my whole heart, feel so sorry for his desease, and yes i am MISSING him BIG TIME!!!!! But I want him to GET HELP. For HIS sake (he already has health issues because of drinking, and virtually NOTHING to show for his life). I can't just turn him away. I just can't do it.
And I'm so unsure, given this new info on the police report, if I dare tell him. If I tell him right now that I did this & what was found (the high BAC level), he'll get super scared and RUN for sure, not wanting to face the warrant/dui!!!! How the heck do I HELP without ENABLING????????
My mind is just spinning.......so sorry if this post doens;'t sound right. I'm having visions of him DYING due to his extreme alcohol addiction & health problems (It's THAT SERIOUS).......yet also knowing that in order for him to ever hit bottom, I need to "let go".........URGH!!!!!!!!!!
Need prayers praYERS prayers, pLEASE!!!!!!!!!
Let me start with yesterday. I had a REALLY WEIRD STRONG gut feeling that I should go to the magistrate's office to get a copy of my AXB 2004 police report, which if you remember, includes a warrant currently on him for not showing up for an arraingment hearing. This feeling came way out of the blue........I cannot even imagine WHERE this feeling came from! It just CAME. We had started a file folder last year, when he was wanting to straighten out his life, deal with this warrant, etc. I'm pretty good with legal stuff, and started digging up info & plans. He got scared half way into the process, and backed away. We needed to get a copy of this 2004 police report to find out what his BAC was (in PA, BAC matters alot as to sentencing/this is his 2nd offense in 10 years). He forbid me to going to the magistrate, he was afraid I was opening a can of worms. Anyway, we've been split up for 5 weeks, and yesterday I felt this URGENT gut feeling that I should get this police report NOW. I kept trying to fight this urge, thinking it was "codie"......I even asked God for a "sign" because Alon-On says I should not do such things....mind my OWN business, etc. So this morning, I called his mom and she said "This is the PERFECT TIME......you HONESTLY do not know where he is at if they ask, and if you feel in your gut that you should persue this, then DO IT". So, I figured this was "my sign". Some may think this is rediculous, but I just felt like it was what I needed to do, for whatever reason. Okay...got the police report.......after a very RUDE time at the magistrates.......ugh.....they didn't want to give it to me, then when I told them it was public record & the sherriffs dept advised me to go there to get it.....they finally gave me a copy.
Then, upon reading it, I was REALLY feeling horrible.......his blood alcohol level was .77........the LETHAL level is .50 for a NORMAL human...any normal human would be DEAD at .77.....yet my AXB was DRIVING with a BAC of .77. UGH!!!!! After reading the book "Under The Influence" I understand how an alcoholics body becomes tolerant to higher than lethal doses of alcohol.......but this info on the report just stunned me. It hit me SO hard as to how serious his desease is. If he is able to consume so much more than LETHAL level of alcohol, and still function to drive a car....then he is in SEVERLY bad shape........SICK beyond believe. It breaks my HEART!!!!!! And I was just bummed, thinking negetive....thinking "there is NO hope for this".
Was going through various emotions all evening. Discussed it with his mom, and we were like thinking worst case scenerios like the alcohol was going to eventually kill him, etc. I was just SICK......please understand, I LOVE this guy, and feel SO helpless!!!!!!!!
I kNOW........I didn't casue it, can't CURE it, etc.......but still have these emotions........ugh!!
Then tonight......totally out of the blue, after 5 weeks, he phones me. If you all remember, I phoned him last week, leaving a message on his machine. He didn't call back, so I just chalked it off as he preferred alcohol over me. But it was so odd that he phoned TONIGHT after all this crazy stuff, new legal findings, and severe emotions. I didn't mention the report, I just did not feel it was the right time, it will only scare him away more IF he is "ready" to deal with his warrant. He was vague on the phone, not admitting any faults or anyting, just saying he wasn't happy with his new apt, etc........and saying something about if he could find a ride, he would pick up the stuff he left here this weekend (I'm sure just an "excuse" to test the waters). I'm not sure, but from what I get, life isn't so great for him right now. But he is SO proud, and won't admit it.........he kinda wants me to BEG. URGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the man with my whole heart, feel so sorry for his desease, and yes i am MISSING him BIG TIME!!!!! But I want him to GET HELP. For HIS sake (he already has health issues because of drinking, and virtually NOTHING to show for his life). I can't just turn him away. I just can't do it.
And I'm so unsure, given this new info on the police report, if I dare tell him. If I tell him right now that I did this & what was found (the high BAC level), he'll get super scared and RUN for sure, not wanting to face the warrant/dui!!!! How the heck do I HELP without ENABLING????????
My mind is just spinning.......so sorry if this post doens;'t sound right. I'm having visions of him DYING due to his extreme alcohol addiction & health problems (It's THAT SERIOUS).......yet also knowing that in order for him to ever hit bottom, I need to "let go".........URGH!!!!!!!!!!
Need prayers praYERS prayers, pLEASE!!!!!!!!!
