Archive for the ‘Barack Obama’ tag
RIP Madelyn Payne Dunham
Though she is an unknown to most of us,
She played an important role in the life of one who is known, and may play a very important role to all of us in the near future.
Whatever happens tomorrow at the polls,
please give a moment to send thoughts and prayers to the family of Ms Dunham, and to all who loved her.
May she rest in peace. :amen
Shalom!
She played an important role in the life of one who is known, and may play a very important role to all of us in the near future.
Whatever happens tomorrow at the polls,
please give a moment to send thoughts and prayers to the family of Ms Dunham, and to all who loved her.
Quote:
|
HONOLULU - A day before the presidential election, Barack Obama announced the death Monday of his grandmother, who helped raise him and whom he praised as the cornerstone of his family. Madelyn Payne Dunham died peacefully Sunday night after a battle with cancer, Obama said. She was 86. Obama announced the news in a joint statement with his sister Maya Soetoro-Ng. |
Shalom!
A funny thing happened on the way…
...to the polling place...
Quote:
|
Late-Night Political Jokes Updated Daily Compiled by Daniel Kurtzman Oct. 30, 2008 "Here's the amazing part, this is true, it was the highest-rated show on NBC last night. NBC's already talking to Barack about picking it up for 13 more episodes." --Jay Leno "Today, John McCain campaigned in the Ohio town of Defiance. Next comes Anger, then, finally, Acceptance." --Jay Leno "This week out on the campaign trail, John McCain called Barack Obama a socialist, and President Bush defended Barack Obama. But see, again, I don't think President Bush really understands. Like, he told McCain, he said, 'When you're president, you get a lot of visitors to the White House. You have to be a good socialist. It's good manners'" --Jay Leno "And a lot of juicy gossip on the campaign trail. Insiders of the McCain campaign say that Sarah Palin has gone rogue. Republicans are complaining that she's not listening to their advice, she's not taking their notes and she's going off on her own and saying whatever she wants. And then when the campaign was asked what they like best about her, 'She's a maverick!'" --Jay Leno "And Republicans now say that the $150,000 worth of clothes they bought for Sarah Palin will probably go to a charity. Charity, is that a good idea? Isn't that kind of counterproductive? I mean, you're going to give a homeless woman your spare change when she's wearing a Dolce & Gabbana jacket and Jimmy Choo shoes, you know?" --Jay Leno "ItÂ’s a little cold and windy outside, isnÂ’t it today? ItÂ’s so cold today that Sarah Palin was putting ChapStick on a pit bull." --David Letterman "John McCain was on Larry KingÂ’s show last night, and it got kind of awkward when Larry had to tell John McCain that 72 percent of his ex-wives were for Obama." --David Letterman "But on that show, Larry King and John McCain looked like two guys who would be fighting over Cloris Leachman." --David Letterman "And have you seen Sarah Palin and John McCain. I mean if you look at them, itÂ’s kind of interesting. He looks like the elderly husband who would have her followed by a private detective. A little bit, donÂ’t you think?" --David Letterman "But here's what I like about John McCain. He's an optimist. Always sees the glass as half full of his teeth." --David Letterman "And did you hear what happened down in Washington, DC, earlier today? Guards had to wrestle and apprehend an intruder who was trying to jump over the White House fence. Nice try, Hillary." --David Letterman "I've noticed a number of athletes are now endorsing candidates in this presidential election. Barack Obama has been endorsed by Patrick Ewing and Charles Barkley, and John McCain's been endorsed by Ty Cobb and Jim Thorpe." --Conan O'Brien "Joe the plumber was supposed to appear at a John McCain rally today, but didn't show up. Yeah. So, apparently, the guy really is a plumber." --Conan O'Brien "A lot of issues going to be decided on election day in John McCain's home state of Arizona. True story. Voters are being asked to decide whether there should be a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage. Yeah. McCain's even using the issue in an attack ad that says 'Obama-Biden: they share positions together.'" --Conan O'Brien "Obama is ahead in every major poll. One online gambling site has him as a seven to one favorite to win. They're saying the only way Obama could lose this election right now is if they made him bowl for it." --Jimmy Kimmel "The governor of California is the actor and former body builder, Arnold Schwarzenegger. He announced that he opposes Proposition 8. Proposition 8 is the proposition in California that would ban gay marriage. ... Arnold also opposes Proposition 14, which would require all Governors of California to speak some English." --Jimmy Kimmel Sarah Palin, she's running Alaska, and now she's the vice presidential candidate, and everybody got very excited about the campaign, and she really sort of energized the whole thing. But listen to this, they now say that there may be some friction between John McCain and Sarah Palin. Yeah, and staffers suspected that there was something wrong when McCain started referring to Sarah Palin as 'that one.'" --David Letterman "Yesterday, in Washington, I don't know if you heard about this, the Secret Service arrested a man who climbed over the White House fence. True story, yeah. Yeah, the Secret Service told the man, 'Get back here, Mr. President. You have two more months.'" --Conan O'Brien "Alaska's largest newspaper has endorsed Barack Obama despite the fact that their governor is Sarah Palin. Luckily for Palin, it's one of the 500 newspapers she doesn't read." --Conan O'Brien "Well, political experts say that John McCainÂ’s only chance of winning the presidential election next week is to attract swing voters. Unfortunately, McCain thinks swing voters are people who listen to Glenn Miller." --Conan O'Brien "So, just to recap here, the Republican National Committee took money from hardworking Americans, right? They spent it on designer clothes and glasses and handbags for Sarah Palin, so she could go out there on the stump and stop that ******* Obama from spreading the wealth." --Bill Maher |
The Chicken — just for fun
Why did the chicken cross the road?
>
>
>
>?
>
>BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
>
>time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
>
>?
>
>JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
>
>because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
>
>dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
>
>road.
>
>?
>
>HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped
>
>that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes
>
>me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that
>
>every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
>
>cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
>
>?
>
>?
>
>?
>
>GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
>
>crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
>
>our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either again st
>
>us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
>?
>
>DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
>
>?
>
>COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
>
>clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
>
>road.
>
>?
>
>BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
>
>What is your definition of chicken?
>
>?
>
>AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
>
>?
>
>JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
>
>road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
>
>and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
>
>not for it now, and will remain against it.
>
>?
>
>?
>
>
>?
>
>DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
>
>won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
>
>on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
>
>the other side of th e road. What we need to do is help him
>
>realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
>
>current problems before adding new problems.
>
>?
>
>OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
>
>problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
>
>So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
>
>take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
>
>this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
>
>and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
>?
>
>?
>
>ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
>
>chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
>
>the other side of the road.
>
>?
>
>NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
>
>guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>
>?
>
>PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
>
>American.>
>
>MARTHA ST EWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
>
>chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
>
>Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
>
>to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
>
>information.
>
>?
>
>DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
>
>with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
>
>crossed I've not been told.
>
>?
>
>ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
>
>?
>
>BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
>
>moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
>
>first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
>
>serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's
>
>lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
>?
>
>ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>?
>
>JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
>
>roads together, in peace. Yaha aaaa. . .
>
>?
>
>?
>
>BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will
>
>not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
>
>documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is
>
>an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much
>
>more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
>
>?
>
>ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or
>
>did the road move beneath the chicken?
>
>?
>
>COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
>
>
>
>
>?
>
>BARACK OBAMA: The chicken crossed the road because it was
>
>time for a change! The chicken wanted change!
>
>?
>
>JOHN MC CAIN: My friends, that chicken crossed the road
>
>because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and
>
>dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the
>
>road.
>
>?
>
>HILLARY CLINTON: When I was First Lady, I personally helped
>
>that little chicken to cross the road. This experience makes
>
>me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One that
>
>every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves to
>
>cross the road. But then, this really isn't about me.
>
>?
>
>?
>
>?
>
>GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
>
>crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on
>
>our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either again st
>
>us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.
>
>?
>
>DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?
>
>?
>
>COLIN POWELL: Now to the left of the screen, you can
>
>clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the
>
>road.
>
>?
>
>BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.
>
>What is your definition of chicken?
>
>?
>
>AL GORE: I invented the chicken.
>
>?
>
>JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the
>
>road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross,
>
>and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am
>
>not for it now, and will remain against it.
>
>?
>
>?
>
>
>?
>
>DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken
>
>won't realize that he must first deal with the problem
>
>on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on
>
>the other side of th e road. What we need to do is help him
>
>realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his
>
>current problems before adding new problems.
>
>?
>
>OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having
>
>problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad.
>
>So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and
>
>take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give
>
>this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road
>
>and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
>?
>
>?
>
>ANDERSON COOPER, CNN: We have reason to believe there is a
>
>chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to
>
>the other side of the road.
>
>?
>
>NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's
>
>guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>
>?
>
>PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking
>
>American.>
>
>MARTHA ST EWART: No one called me to warn me which way that
>
>chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
>
>Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped
>
>to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider
>
>information.
>
>?
>
>DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it
>
>with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it
>
>crossed I've not been told.
>
>?
>
>ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.
>
>?
>
>BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
>
>moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the
>
>first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a
>
>serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's
>
>lifelong dream of crossing the road.
>
>?
>
>ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>?
>
>JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing
>
>roads together, in peace. Yaha aaaa. . .
>
>?
>
>?
>
>BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2008, which will
>
>not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
>
>documents, and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is
>
>an integral part of eChicken 2008. This new platform is much
>
>more stable and will never crash or need to be rebooted.
>
>?
>
>ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or
>
>did the road move beneath the chicken?
>
>?
>
>COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?
>
