Archive for the ‘Beautiful Son’ tag
Aaaannnnd again!
I would like to say this is day one and Im going sober, but I really dont have any faith in myself anymore. Theres that "yeah, yeah, heard it all before" voice in my head.
I have a great family that loves me I have a wonderful job a beautiful son great friends (that I have managed to avoid the last few months).
I have been drinking very heavily (again) over the last 3 months. Last night I had a bottle of wine, 8 premixed vodkas and 4 premixed burbons (the burbons I took from my flatmates room when she wasnt home and replaced them early thismorning) I only went to bed (at 4am) because I was too drunk to put up a fight when my partner told me to go to bed. I have felt discusting and on the verge of throwing up all day. It is now nearly 5pm and I can feel that feeling again.
I wont drink tonight, there would be hell to pay with my partner, he is at his wits end.
I am going to start taking Naltrexone next week when the approval comes through from my doctor. That has worked before, I was sober for about 4 months.
I think I can do it. Well I kind of have to. I do want to. But there is that voice always there. You know that voice "na, youre a looser, just give up, you cant do it. Just get drunk and forget about it. youre so dramatic. Alcoholic, youre not an alcoholic".
Help. Im so tired.
Im sorry this post is so jumbled. It is to get it out in front of me though. One time I gave up for almost a year. I remember feeling better about everything then. I have to do it again.
I guess, this is... another day 1.
I have a great family that loves me I have a wonderful job a beautiful son great friends (that I have managed to avoid the last few months).
I have been drinking very heavily (again) over the last 3 months. Last night I had a bottle of wine, 8 premixed vodkas and 4 premixed burbons (the burbons I took from my flatmates room when she wasnt home and replaced them early thismorning) I only went to bed (at 4am) because I was too drunk to put up a fight when my partner told me to go to bed. I have felt discusting and on the verge of throwing up all day. It is now nearly 5pm and I can feel that feeling again.
I wont drink tonight, there would be hell to pay with my partner, he is at his wits end.
I am going to start taking Naltrexone next week when the approval comes through from my doctor. That has worked before, I was sober for about 4 months.
I think I can do it. Well I kind of have to. I do want to. But there is that voice always there. You know that voice "na, youre a looser, just give up, you cant do it. Just get drunk and forget about it. youre so dramatic. Alcoholic, youre not an alcoholic".
Help. Im so tired.
Im sorry this post is so jumbled. It is to get it out in front of me though. One time I gave up for almost a year. I remember feeling better about everything then. I have to do it again.
I guess, this is... another day 1.
