Archive for the ‘Beer’ tag
Should I stop seeing my girlfriend?
I been drinking for 16 years. However, over the last 2 years I've been drinking very heavily. I starting seeing this girl 2 years ago. She has been there while I've been drinking and she tells me I need to stop. But when I need more beer, she's always right there to go get me more.
We argue all the time and I'm wondering if that's one of the reasons I've been drinking so much.
As I embark on this journey of recovery, should I get rid of the unnecessary stress. There is a 13 year age difference between us. She is much younger than me, so I feel she doesn't understand what I'm going through.
Any Advice?
We argue all the time and I'm wondering if that's one of the reasons I've been drinking so much.
As I embark on this journey of recovery, should I get rid of the unnecessary stress. There is a 13 year age difference between us. She is much younger than me, so I feel she doesn't understand what I'm going through.
Any Advice?
Not as bad as I thought
Well just got back from visiting a bunch of my friends for 3 days and went up pretty worried I was going to get drunk and fall into bad habits. New Years Eve was the first time I had been out to a bar atmosphere since I stopped drinking (12/10) and you know it wasn't bad. I actually had a ton of laughs because my friends were blitzed and pretty amusing. I found myself messing with em' quite a bit and also could provide them with a sober driver. In addition I also got a number from one of the best looking girls i've seen in a while-something I couldve never done if i was drinking like i used to because i would be cross eyed and probably not making any sense and more concerned about getting my next drink-so overall it was a pretty fun night and not as bad as i thought. And I was pretty proud I didn't give in to the many many offers and pressure because everyone was like c'mon its NEW YEARS! I do have to confess though-I started out the night with diet cokes and that just got nasty so I had a Bud Light for the new year and that was all. The next night i was out again with my friends and had a a bud light also. Both nights i had one beer and that was all. Im not too upset at myself, but was wondering is my date still 12/10 now or does it move to last night? Well, i guess ill say this is my 25th days since ive been drunk. Yay. Anyways, hope everyones holidays went well and everyone stuck to their plans. :c032:
Just had a very scary experience and really, really want to drink
I just got home after experiencing some drunk domestic violence drama that happened to my friend at her home by her boyfriend while I was visiting. Then one my way home I encountered pretty much every drunk crazy person on the street and got hassled. On my way inside my apartment building my crazy drunk neighbor asked me if I wanted to have a beer with him.
I feel very close to taking him up on his offer but I know it won't do anything.
The biggest thing that I'm thinking right now is how and why I got into that situation in the first place. She drinks, and I think a part of me came over there in the first place was so I could drink. And the crazy thing is, is when the guy staggered inside and put down three bottles of wine on the table, all I could think of was taking one as I was leaving as they started to fight. What a crazy thing to think.
I called the police and they came and she's okay. But why am I only thinking of myself right now?
I feel very close to taking him up on his offer but I know it won't do anything.
The biggest thing that I'm thinking right now is how and why I got into that situation in the first place. She drinks, and I think a part of me came over there in the first place was so I could drink. And the crazy thing is, is when the guy staggered inside and put down three bottles of wine on the table, all I could think of was taking one as I was leaving as they started to fight. What a crazy thing to think.
I called the police and they came and she's okay. But why am I only thinking of myself right now?
I need to confess.
Very shortly after I made my first ever post on this forum, I drank again. The very same day, in fact. I had an overwhelming desire both to drink and to pay attention to why I wanted to do it... to find out if, in fact, I really wanted to do it anymore.
Like always, it took 3-4 beers for me to feel anything. I remember being halfway through my fourth beer and just starting to feel it and recalling one "test" I've read about. A normal drinker can have 1, 2, or 3 drinks a day everyday for 6 months and keep it under control. And an alcoholic cannot. I was acutely aware that I *needed* that fourth drink (and actually the rest of the case).
By the 6th or 8th beer, I was happy, euphoric, etc. You know what I'm talking about. I felt like I was perfect and that everyone should just listen to me. Now keep in mind that I was all alone... it didn't matter. I was delusional and so incredibly self-centered. And of course I kept drinking until I passed out.
I woke up later... I had a headache but nothing out of the ordinary. There was nothing unusual about that particular binge. But for some reason my hip was sore, so I ended up getting out of bed and coming downstairs to try to get comfortable on the couch. I watched a little TV, took some Advil, and the headed back to bed. And at the top of my stairs, it was suddenly very, very clear to me: I've been drinking because it was the only thing that made me feel "perfect." When I was drunk, I wasn't aware of my flaws and character defects. But the truth is, I'm imperfect. That's how God made me. I just got this image of all my defects as physical holes in my body that I was trying to fill up with alcohol so that no one -- not even me -- would have to see how defective I am. But at that moment I realized that if I just handed it all over to God, I could just let God's light shine through the holes of imperfection and I wouldn't have to care about being imperfect anymore.
In that moment, I really "got" the first three Steps. 1 - I saw how powerless I was. 2- Although I've never been really religious and for the past 4 years or so, I've been borderline atheist/pissed off at God, I realized that God was the absolute *only* thing that could work. 3 - And I realized that I just needed to hand over the reigns.
I'm really in awe still. It was such a clarifying moment... it just keeps sticking with me. I'm still incredibly overwhelmed by it all but it also feels really "real," too.
Like always, it took 3-4 beers for me to feel anything. I remember being halfway through my fourth beer and just starting to feel it and recalling one "test" I've read about. A normal drinker can have 1, 2, or 3 drinks a day everyday for 6 months and keep it under control. And an alcoholic cannot. I was acutely aware that I *needed* that fourth drink (and actually the rest of the case).
By the 6th or 8th beer, I was happy, euphoric, etc. You know what I'm talking about. I felt like I was perfect and that everyone should just listen to me. Now keep in mind that I was all alone... it didn't matter. I was delusional and so incredibly self-centered. And of course I kept drinking until I passed out.
I woke up later... I had a headache but nothing out of the ordinary. There was nothing unusual about that particular binge. But for some reason my hip was sore, so I ended up getting out of bed and coming downstairs to try to get comfortable on the couch. I watched a little TV, took some Advil, and the headed back to bed. And at the top of my stairs, it was suddenly very, very clear to me: I've been drinking because it was the only thing that made me feel "perfect." When I was drunk, I wasn't aware of my flaws and character defects. But the truth is, I'm imperfect. That's how God made me. I just got this image of all my defects as physical holes in my body that I was trying to fill up with alcohol so that no one -- not even me -- would have to see how defective I am. But at that moment I realized that if I just handed it all over to God, I could just let God's light shine through the holes of imperfection and I wouldn't have to care about being imperfect anymore.
In that moment, I really "got" the first three Steps. 1 - I saw how powerless I was. 2- Although I've never been really religious and for the past 4 years or so, I've been borderline atheist/pissed off at God, I realized that God was the absolute *only* thing that could work. 3 - And I realized that I just needed to hand over the reigns.
I'm really in awe still. It was such a clarifying moment... it just keeps sticking with me. I'm still incredibly overwhelmed by it all but it also feels really "real," too.
To Drink or Not to Drink….
Hi, All,
I'm new here, and am so glad to have found you all.
I wasn't sure whether to post in Al-Anon, or Women in Sobriety (I am a woman, but not in sobriety.) or Bikers (I ride) and then I found this link, and it looks right... I could use your help...
I am in love with a man I met a year ago. He is everything kind and good, loving and smart. (he is 42) My past relationships have not always had these qualities, and I'm learning to let this Man into my life. Crazy as it is, it was difficult to let the "good" one in.
Anyway... His ex-fiancé died of complications of alcoholism. After his fiancé died, he took to drinking pretty heavily. He stopped on his own accord. He hasn't had anything to drink in 4 years, until earlier this year, when he had a beer with his brother-in-law, who didn't know of the circumstances of the death of BF's fiancé, either.
Before I knew the details of his fiances’ death, we were out with his sister/brother-in-law as part of a cooking event at a winery (!). He mentioned that he wanted to try a glass of wine, so I poured one for him. His Sister about hit the clouds. She told me more about his past then he had mentioned.
I am no saint. I have had my time drinking too much. But I am older (50) and hopefully wiser, and don't do that anymore. I do still enjoy a drink every now and then. I don't want to do this with my boyfriend. After I learned of the dynamics of his past relationship, I told him that I don't want drinking to be part of who we are.
Now's the tricky part. I think he doesn't see his past drinking as a problem. I don't know if he has a problem or not. I know his past involved a lot of drinking, but he stopped. I've had my day in the drinking zone, but I'm not there now.
Is it right of me to have a beer when we are out with friends, when he isn't drinking? Before I knew any of this history, we'd go to family cookouts, and I'd have wine and he'd have tea. No mention no problem. Didn't have a clue.
I wonder a few things, too. Having been married to a drinker, I know the part I played in the continuation of that process. My ex-husband is now 22 years sober!! I'm proud of him. Learning that my Boyfriend's fiance was an alcoholic, and that they used to drink together scares me. I don't want to repeat history, his or mine!!! I think I'm answering my own questions and concerns as I type this. Drinking can't be part of who we are. It can't be part of whom I am when I am with him. I don't want to lose the man I love to a drink.
Your thoughts are appreciated.... ....
I'm new here, and am so glad to have found you all.
I wasn't sure whether to post in Al-Anon, or Women in Sobriety (I am a woman, but not in sobriety.) or Bikers (I ride) and then I found this link, and it looks right... I could use your help...
I am in love with a man I met a year ago. He is everything kind and good, loving and smart. (he is 42) My past relationships have not always had these qualities, and I'm learning to let this Man into my life. Crazy as it is, it was difficult to let the "good" one in.
Anyway... His ex-fiancé died of complications of alcoholism. After his fiancé died, he took to drinking pretty heavily. He stopped on his own accord. He hasn't had anything to drink in 4 years, until earlier this year, when he had a beer with his brother-in-law, who didn't know of the circumstances of the death of BF's fiancé, either.
Before I knew the details of his fiances’ death, we were out with his sister/brother-in-law as part of a cooking event at a winery (!). He mentioned that he wanted to try a glass of wine, so I poured one for him. His Sister about hit the clouds. She told me more about his past then he had mentioned.
I am no saint. I have had my time drinking too much. But I am older (50) and hopefully wiser, and don't do that anymore. I do still enjoy a drink every now and then. I don't want to do this with my boyfriend. After I learned of the dynamics of his past relationship, I told him that I don't want drinking to be part of who we are.
Now's the tricky part. I think he doesn't see his past drinking as a problem. I don't know if he has a problem or not. I know his past involved a lot of drinking, but he stopped. I've had my day in the drinking zone, but I'm not there now.
Is it right of me to have a beer when we are out with friends, when he isn't drinking? Before I knew any of this history, we'd go to family cookouts, and I'd have wine and he'd have tea. No mention no problem. Didn't have a clue.
I wonder a few things, too. Having been married to a drinker, I know the part I played in the continuation of that process. My ex-husband is now 22 years sober!! I'm proud of him. Learning that my Boyfriend's fiance was an alcoholic, and that they used to drink together scares me. I don't want to repeat history, his or mine!!! I think I'm answering my own questions and concerns as I type this. Drinking can't be part of who we are. It can't be part of whom I am when I am with him. I don't want to lose the man I love to a drink.
Your thoughts are appreciated.... ....
just came home from first AA meeting and saw BF walking down sidewalk with beer
how ironic is that?
my neighbors, bless them, drove me. and on the way back (even though this is NYC, i live in a very small beach town, a narrow peninsula) and there he was with his bag of beer (oh, yes, i know it was beer!!!!) and he was about to walk into another store, probably looking for cheaper beer!!! i know his habits.........(for those of you who don't know, we are separated by court order right now......i'm getting sober; he is obviously not, but i already knew that)
i only wanted to post about seeing BF in the women's forum. i feel neutral about it.
if you'd like to read more about my first AA meeting, i posted about it in the alcoholism forum.
i'm going to another meeting tomorrow night. it's a beginner's meeting and i'm going with a woman i met tonight.
i drank too much coffee at the meeting....probably should get decaf for tomorrow night!
my neighbors, bless them, drove me. and on the way back (even though this is NYC, i live in a very small beach town, a narrow peninsula) and there he was with his bag of beer (oh, yes, i know it was beer!!!!) and he was about to walk into another store, probably looking for cheaper beer!!! i know his habits.........(for those of you who don't know, we are separated by court order right now......i'm getting sober; he is obviously not, but i already knew that)
i only wanted to post about seeing BF in the women's forum. i feel neutral about it.
if you'd like to read more about my first AA meeting, i posted about it in the alcoholism forum.
i'm going to another meeting tomorrow night. it's a beginner's meeting and i'm going with a woman i met tonight.
i drank too much coffee at the meeting....probably should get decaf for tomorrow night!
Day 3 , a party & still sober…
Hi guys, I thought I'd better check in, as I know some of you were a little concerned because I had a mates birthday & my birthday bbq party tonight.
Well I went, I had an absolute ball with my friends, my hubby & children, and I stayed sober. It was weird, Hubby almost never drinks, but I told him to go ahead and have a beer, I had to get used to it, so here was I with my ice cold coke, and him a beer, it was bizzar, a complete opposite to the norm (he always has the coke lol)
I didn't feel stressed, just weird. But I really enjoyed myself, I don't know how long it's been since I had a genuine smile on my face for so long, and even after we got home, the kids & I cranked the rock & roll music up and boogied together, what a hoot. I can't remember feeling this happy, it was like a life time ago.
I hope everyone else had a great day :)
Well I went, I had an absolute ball with my friends, my hubby & children, and I stayed sober. It was weird, Hubby almost never drinks, but I told him to go ahead and have a beer, I had to get used to it, so here was I with my ice cold coke, and him a beer, it was bizzar, a complete opposite to the norm (he always has the coke lol)
I didn't feel stressed, just weird. But I really enjoyed myself, I don't know how long it's been since I had a genuine smile on my face for so long, and even after we got home, the kids & I cranked the rock & roll music up and boogied together, what a hoot. I can't remember feeling this happy, it was like a life time ago.
I hope everyone else had a great day :)
How can I help a friend who has trouble admitting?
:prayingI have a very dear friend who has every "sign" of alcoholism but has trouble admitting it.
When we were young it was always funny because "Bob" always showed up at the parties at 4 am ready to keep the party going.
As he went away to college he continued to drink more and more.
Now that we are mid 20's his drinking AND drinking while intoxicated has gotten out of control. He will drive home and pass out in his truck in the driveway...lucky to have gotten home at all, but not remembering how he got there.
Often times when he would spend the night at my husband and my house, he would wake up and open a beer at 8am.
Recently I met his on again off again long distance grilfriend, and it killed me to know that he had been hooking up with other girls every time he got drunk.
Today she found out that he had been cheating on him, so as one of his close "girlfriends" she had been talking to me.
When I talked to him today he is completly devistated about her breaking it off with him. He admits that he has a problem with getting drunk and hooking up with girls.
He admits that drinking directly causes him to cheat on his girl friend, and keeps saying "I know I have a problem" and says "I know I could stop" but he wont admit that is ready to. He says he isn't ready to grow up, but sooner or later he is going to kill someone, and I drive the same streets he does; and he gets really upset if I mention him killing someone like ME!!
But I dont know if he is ready, how do I help him if he admits he has a problem, but wont admit "what kind of problem"?
Thanks
When we were young it was always funny because "Bob" always showed up at the parties at 4 am ready to keep the party going.
As he went away to college he continued to drink more and more.
Now that we are mid 20's his drinking AND drinking while intoxicated has gotten out of control. He will drive home and pass out in his truck in the driveway...lucky to have gotten home at all, but not remembering how he got there.
Often times when he would spend the night at my husband and my house, he would wake up and open a beer at 8am.
Recently I met his on again off again long distance grilfriend, and it killed me to know that he had been hooking up with other girls every time he got drunk.
Today she found out that he had been cheating on him, so as one of his close "girlfriends" she had been talking to me.
When I talked to him today he is completly devistated about her breaking it off with him. He admits that he has a problem with getting drunk and hooking up with girls.
He admits that drinking directly causes him to cheat on his girl friend, and keeps saying "I know I have a problem" and says "I know I could stop" but he wont admit that is ready to. He says he isn't ready to grow up, but sooner or later he is going to kill someone, and I drive the same streets he does; and he gets really upset if I mention him killing someone like ME!!
But I dont know if he is ready, how do I help him if he admits he has a problem, but wont admit "what kind of problem"?
Thanks
New to site but not a “newbie” to recovery
My name is Stephanie and I quit drinking again yesterday. It has been 23 hours, in fact and I am proud of myself approaching the 24 hour Mark. I don't know what, if anything, made me start up again but I started drinking again 10 days ago... a beer here the first day and the slide quickly began... I knew my anxiety would get the best of me, so I went got my Dr. to prescribe a few lose dose Ativan pills and then she recommended Celexa over the long term and I am going to start that tomorrow since it is non-adicting.... to help balance me out.
My biggest fear about quiting drinking (again) is that I will have a seizure or stroke and will die. It's absolute panic... I feel the left side of my body "sag" even though it really doesn't... I get tingly and a little shaky.... my heart races.... The ativan is helping that now but I am still scared of dying.....
My biggest fear about quiting drinking (again) is that I will have a seizure or stroke and will die. It's absolute panic... I feel the left side of my body "sag" even though it really doesn't... I get tingly and a little shaky.... my heart races.... The ativan is helping that now but I am still scared of dying.....
My Fiance isn’t Ready to be Sober
All it takes is a little bit of alcohol, and we fight. My fiance and I have thus agreed to have a dry house when it's just the two of us. But! With Thanksgiving fast approaching, said fiance has friends in town that want to come to our house this Wednesday. There will be beer, etc. That makes me nervous! I have always in the past made an excuse to have "just one" drink. Next think you know I'm wasted, happy!, but wasted... and oh so hung over the next day. Today is day two of my sobriety. I'd like to continue to press on ...
I think I may head out of town early to my family's place for Thanksgiving on Wednesday after work. I spoke with my guy about my feelings and he understood why I felt the need to be away from the house if he and his friends were to be drinking.
Simply put, alcohol is like POISON between my guy and I. Even one sip is a bad idea. One sip leads to another.:e136:
I'm sad that we cannot be together this holiday. That because I'm sober, and my guy is not going to be, that I have to create space.
What a lonely feeling.
I think I may head out of town early to my family's place for Thanksgiving on Wednesday after work. I spoke with my guy about my feelings and he understood why I felt the need to be away from the house if he and his friends were to be drinking.
Simply put, alcohol is like POISON between my guy and I. Even one sip is a bad idea. One sip leads to another.:e136:
I'm sad that we cannot be together this holiday. That because I'm sober, and my guy is not going to be, that I have to create space.
What a lonely feeling.
