Archive for the ‘Belief That’ tag
Need to keep myself honest
Hey, y'all.
So, I'm leaving on Thursday for a weekend trip to Buffalo/Niagara Falls, NY.I'll be there from Thursday evening till Sunday morning, and I'll be with two girl friends.
They don't know that I don't drink any more. They both do drink (like normal people).
I am 97% confident that I will be able to say no when I'm with them. It's the 3% I'm worried about. I would be lying if I didn't say that there is a little voice in my head telling me not to tell either one of them before I get there just so I don't close that door too soon.
God, I feel ashamed just typing this. I've typed and deleted a couple of sentences 3 times now. I think I need to put this out there so that I can deal with it and move on, if that makes sense. But wow... it's harder than I thought it would be.
One of these girls is a very dear friend of mine. I could tell her I simply don't drink anymore, or I could tell her the complete truth about WHY I don't drink anymore. She wouldn't judge me, she would listen, and she would be fine with it. She also wouldn't pressure me (I really don't believe she would) if I just left it at "I quit". The other girl is a friend but not someone I've gotten incredibly close to or comfortable with yet. I would simply tell her that I don't drink anymore and let that be that. I've been thinking about telling them both before I get up there just so they know right off the bat that I won't be drinking with them. Just today I asked if we had any plans for Saturday other than seeing Niagara Falls and one's response was, "Get drunk? :)" I started an email and then deleted it. Why?
Because part of my brain/addiction wants to cling to the belief that if they don't know and I drink then it doesn't count. I am already giving myself excuses to cheat. I am setting myself up for failure.
I just hit 90 days, and 91 days ago I never would have believed it. Why am I plotting and planning how to sneak around and cheat, and how on earth am I convincing myself that it won't count?!
Again I ask you wonderful people - WTF is WRONG with me!?
So, I'm leaving on Thursday for a weekend trip to Buffalo/Niagara Falls, NY.I'll be there from Thursday evening till Sunday morning, and I'll be with two girl friends.
They don't know that I don't drink any more. They both do drink (like normal people).
I am 97% confident that I will be able to say no when I'm with them. It's the 3% I'm worried about. I would be lying if I didn't say that there is a little voice in my head telling me not to tell either one of them before I get there just so I don't close that door too soon.
God, I feel ashamed just typing this. I've typed and deleted a couple of sentences 3 times now. I think I need to put this out there so that I can deal with it and move on, if that makes sense. But wow... it's harder than I thought it would be.
One of these girls is a very dear friend of mine. I could tell her I simply don't drink anymore, or I could tell her the complete truth about WHY I don't drink anymore. She wouldn't judge me, she would listen, and she would be fine with it. She also wouldn't pressure me (I really don't believe she would) if I just left it at "I quit". The other girl is a friend but not someone I've gotten incredibly close to or comfortable with yet. I would simply tell her that I don't drink anymore and let that be that. I've been thinking about telling them both before I get up there just so they know right off the bat that I won't be drinking with them. Just today I asked if we had any plans for Saturday other than seeing Niagara Falls and one's response was, "Get drunk? :)" I started an email and then deleted it. Why?
Because part of my brain/addiction wants to cling to the belief that if they don't know and I drink then it doesn't count. I am already giving myself excuses to cheat. I am setting myself up for failure.
I just hit 90 days, and 91 days ago I never would have believed it. Why am I plotting and planning how to sneak around and cheat, and how on earth am I convincing myself that it won't count?!
Again I ask you wonderful people - WTF is WRONG with me!?
Recovery and Manipulation-Holiday’s
Hi All,
The Holiday's are a difficult time for the family's of A's. We have the tendency to use the Holiday to give gifts to make the families feel better about the suffering they endure living with an A and the A's tend to use the Holiday to give to make up for the pain they cause. This is confusing and manipulative for children who can't understand the difference.
My AW is in a recovery house since Thanksgiving week. I had to call the paramedics for a well check because she had been drinking mouthwash and would not get out of bed. They took her to the ER and then she found a recovery center. It's been five years of hell and she can still manipulate our 18 and 15 year old! Last Friday she took our 15 year old snowboarding with the her recovery group on a group sponsored trip. Of course the son comes back all excited and impressed with the younger members because they are so cool! I will be filing for divorce and custody this week. Enough insanity!
Most of all I feel she, and I by staying with her for the last five years, has completely screwed my boys ability to understand what a good relationship is, how and why to use alcohol and how to deal with addiction and relationships in which addiction is present. My 18 year old told me that even though there is no alcohol in the house and that I am pretty much a non-drinker that his Mom's behavior has affected his belief that using drugs and alcohol to have fun is something that all people do! He is against alcohol but feels it's okay to smoke marijuana because it won't be addicting! I am afraid for my kids and angry at my wife.
So, to sum up.....if not for you, the spouse or significant other of an A, then for your children....get away from an A and show, teach and model healthy relationships for your children!
Merry X-Mas to all!
The Holiday's are a difficult time for the family's of A's. We have the tendency to use the Holiday to give gifts to make the families feel better about the suffering they endure living with an A and the A's tend to use the Holiday to give to make up for the pain they cause. This is confusing and manipulative for children who can't understand the difference.
My AW is in a recovery house since Thanksgiving week. I had to call the paramedics for a well check because she had been drinking mouthwash and would not get out of bed. They took her to the ER and then she found a recovery center. It's been five years of hell and she can still manipulate our 18 and 15 year old! Last Friday she took our 15 year old snowboarding with the her recovery group on a group sponsored trip. Of course the son comes back all excited and impressed with the younger members because they are so cool! I will be filing for divorce and custody this week. Enough insanity!
Most of all I feel she, and I by staying with her for the last five years, has completely screwed my boys ability to understand what a good relationship is, how and why to use alcohol and how to deal with addiction and relationships in which addiction is present. My 18 year old told me that even though there is no alcohol in the house and that I am pretty much a non-drinker that his Mom's behavior has affected his belief that using drugs and alcohol to have fun is something that all people do! He is against alcohol but feels it's okay to smoke marijuana because it won't be addicting! I am afraid for my kids and angry at my wife.
So, to sum up.....if not for you, the spouse or significant other of an A, then for your children....get away from an A and show, teach and model healthy relationships for your children!
Merry X-Mas to all!
Are we all born alcoholic or can we become alkies?
From the Chapter To Wives on the very bottom of page 108 and continue on page 109.
"Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while."
Now, I do not think the Big Book is the Alpha and Omega of alcoholism, but I do think this is overlooked and important. There is the belief that we are all Born as alcoholics. I have never believed this myself. I also see it in the heavy drinkers who show up in AA. Some people do not need to work the steps in order to get better.
Quote:
|
Your husband may be only a heavy drinker. His drinking may be constant or it may be heavy only on certain occasions. Perhaps he spends too much money for liquor. It may be slowing him up mentally and physically, but he does not see it. Sometimes he is a source of embarrassment to you and his friends. He is positive he can handle his liquor, that it does him no harm, that drinking is necessary in his business. He would probably be insulted if he were called an alcoholic. This world is full of people like him. Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while. |
"Some will moderate or stop altogether, and some will not. Of those who keep on, a good number will become true alcoholics after a while."
Now, I do not think the Big Book is the Alpha and Omega of alcoholism, but I do think this is overlooked and important. There is the belief that we are all Born as alcoholics. I have never believed this myself. I also see it in the heavy drinkers who show up in AA. Some people do not need to work the steps in order to get better.
External Validation
I had a great meeting today - we talked about "detaching with love."
One of our group members is really struggling with letting go of her son's addiction. Her life is a whirlwind of phone calls, court dates, hospital bills, custody hearings, etc... She takes a step away from the chaos only to be overcome with guilt and anguish for abandoning someone who needs her so much.
She said, crying, "When I try to take care of myself he tells me that I don't care about him, and I just can't stand for him to think that!"
But it was SO clear, to everyone there, to anyone looking at this woman, that she cares about her son with all her heart. She was willing to do anything to help him.
Yet, because he couldn't recognize her caring, she began to doubt it, herself.
I could see, in her struggle, many of my issues.
This nagging belief that if my addict didn't feel loved, it was because I was not being loving enough, not responding correctly, answering harshly. That my behavior was the problem.
I couldn't stand for my A to think that I was a bad, unloving person, because, for so long, I looked to him to tell me that I was good.
Recovery from codependency teaches me that "what other people think of me is none of my business".
I love that.
It is so freeing.
I know my intentions (most of the time!), and I no longer look to someone else to confirm or validate them for me.
Have a great night, everybody.
Thanks for letting me share!
-TC
One of our group members is really struggling with letting go of her son's addiction. Her life is a whirlwind of phone calls, court dates, hospital bills, custody hearings, etc... She takes a step away from the chaos only to be overcome with guilt and anguish for abandoning someone who needs her so much.
She said, crying, "When I try to take care of myself he tells me that I don't care about him, and I just can't stand for him to think that!"
But it was SO clear, to everyone there, to anyone looking at this woman, that she cares about her son with all her heart. She was willing to do anything to help him.
Yet, because he couldn't recognize her caring, she began to doubt it, herself.
I could see, in her struggle, many of my issues.
This nagging belief that if my addict didn't feel loved, it was because I was not being loving enough, not responding correctly, answering harshly. That my behavior was the problem.
I couldn't stand for my A to think that I was a bad, unloving person, because, for so long, I looked to him to tell me that I was good.
Recovery from codependency teaches me that "what other people think of me is none of my business".
I love that.
It is so freeing.
I know my intentions (most of the time!), and I no longer look to someone else to confirm or validate them for me.
Have a great night, everybody.
Thanks for letting me share!
-TC
Is Addiction Like Religion?
I am putting this here because it seems that this is the place where it will be the least likely to offend... Please don't be offended. I just want to be able to discuss this.
To me religion is not the same as Spirituality. Religion seems to be about habit and ritual and the belief that these habits have something to do with a connection to perhaps a power.
Addiction is about habit and ritual and usually there is always and never some how attached.
I have heard it said many times in AA and NA rooms that the "DOC" is the HP of the addict. What do ya'll think about this...
To me religion is not the same as Spirituality. Religion seems to be about habit and ritual and the belief that these habits have something to do with a connection to perhaps a power.
Addiction is about habit and ritual and usually there is always and never some how attached.
I have heard it said many times in AA and NA rooms that the "DOC" is the HP of the addict. What do ya'll think about this...
Personality Profile Results
Just did a personality profile on EHarmony.
They are running a free week, so, I figured, Why not? :e058:
Anyway, here's the results.
Thought it was pretty cool!
Seems to be pretty spot on, I think... :wink3:
Shalom!
They are running a free week, so, I figured, Why not? :e058:
Anyway, here's the results.
Thought it was pretty cool!
Quote:
|
Introduction to Agreeableness This section of your profile describes your interactions with other people. The ways we communicate our feelings, beliefs and ideas to others are influenced by our cultural backgrounds, the way we were raised, and sometimes which side of the bed we got up on this morning. Some of us are very mindful of others making decisions we hope will be in their best interests, even if it means sometimes neglecting our own interests. Others of us believe each person should be responsible for themselves, taking deep pride in our own character and independence with a firm belief that others are best served by doing the same. The following describes how you engage with others; illustrating the dimension of your personality that determines your independence or your desire to reach out and touch others in meaningful ways. You are best described as: TAKING CARE OF OTHERS AND TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF Words that describe you: Fair Considered Collaborative Responsive Sensible Diplomatic Contemplative Indulgent Rational A General Description of How You Interact with Others You are important. So are other people, especially if they are in trouble. You have a tender heart, but you know how to establish and keep personal boundaries. You are empathetic and compassionate, but you also believe that it's best if people solve their own problems and learn to take care of themselves, if they are able. You are deeply moved by the needs of others, but you know that if you don't take good care of yourself, you'll wind up being of no use to anyone. So yours is a thoughtful compassion. You strive to be fair and sensible, taking care of others while also taking care of yourself. When someone really is in trouble, you like to collaborate with them toward a solution; they do their part, you do yours. You consider carefully, and respond in a sensible way; they do their part, and together you move through the difficulty. You seldom act impulsively; rather, when a problem arises, you take your time to think through the situation. This contemplative quality usually means that you'll arrive at a diplomatic solution, one that's fair for the other person and also fair to you. It's frequently a win/win situation. Negative Reactions Others May Have Toward You For people who are ruled by tender-hearted compassion, your more diplomatic response to problems might seem too cool, too focused on fairness and not filled enough with sympathy and selflessness. For them, when someone's life is on fire, what is needed is not collaboration but rescue. And the person who experiences their life on fire may resent the time you take to contemplate. "I need you, and I need you NOW! This isn't about fairness, it's about the fire." "All deliberate speed" may seem too deliberate and not fast enough, either to the more compassionate or to people in genuine trouble. At the other end of the spectrum of compassion, those who believe people should take care of themselves may find even your thoughtful sympathies too soft. They expect people, themselves included, to work their own way out of trouble. They are convinced that the helping hand you lend just fosters dependence and is not good for the development of character, either in you or in the person you assist. Positive Responses Others May Have Toward You Many people, perhaps the majority, will come to appreciate your balance as a compassionate person. The more they get to know you, the more they will admire your thoughtful compassion for others and its compliment in the sensible ways you take good care of yourself. Those whom you help will appreciate the way you leave them with their dignity by expecting them to collaborate in their own rescue. Those who are more tender-hearted will find in you a balance they lack; when they've run out of energy because they fail to take good care of themselves, you will still have enough compassion left to lift others out of trouble. Even the tough-hearted, those who believe people should solve their own problems, might come to admire your tenderness which they don't find in themselves. So the people you help will be grateful, and the people who see your balance between self and others will admire you. Certainly, balanced is not bad at all as a way to be known among your friends. |
Shalom!
Manners in A.A.
I saw a similiar topic on the N.A. forum about cell-phones in meetings. Here is one of my pet peeves.
I went to one of the local open discussion MOTR meetings here in town tonight. Every once in a while I come across the real deal alcoholic at one of those and there happened to be one there tonight. When I go to meetings, I look for the face of desperation and saw it this evening. This guy was seven days away from a drink and still detoxing. He talked about how he was the end of his rope with drinking and couldn't drink and couldn't quit but sober was worse. He talked about his head wouldn't shut up, how he hated his dad and hated himself and thought about killing himself every waking moment. Lost job, nowhere to go, staying in a motel, those of you who do this work know the story. And how the only relief he found was for an hour or so at a meeting. But then he had to go back to the motel and lay there staring at the ceiling all night while his head goes on and on. In essence he described me without a drink and without an answer. And it is my belief that if an alcoholic can't come away from an AA meeting with a real answer, something is wrong.
After the meeting I made a bee line for him and Twelfth-Stepped him. After I qualified him, I was telling him about myself and how I had found an answer and had one for him if he wanted it. During this time about four people interupted us, wanting to help this guy by giving him their phone numbers. The guy is dying, he doesn't need phone numbers, he needs first aid. Every time I politely told the interupters "Do you mind? We are on a life and death errand here." The last one was a woman who wanted to say something to the guy. Once again I thanked her but let her know that we were doing some Twelfth-Step work here. After she walked away I told the guy we should go somewhere where we wouldn't be bothered. I heard the woman say "What an a-hole!"
Now I'm not always Mr. Manners, but we AA's are about the most ill-mannered people on the planet. We interupt people in the middle of conversation, we walk in front of people when they are speaking, we answer our phones in the meeting. At my home group's open speaker meeting, a guy got up and answered his phone, walking right in front of the podium while the speaker was speaking. When I called him on it after the meeting, he didn't see anything wrong with it. But I guess I've forgotten that "We are sick alcoholics and it's about progress and not perfection."
One time some one told me that half the trick of living a spiritual life is learning some manners.
Jim
I went to one of the local open discussion MOTR meetings here in town tonight. Every once in a while I come across the real deal alcoholic at one of those and there happened to be one there tonight. When I go to meetings, I look for the face of desperation and saw it this evening. This guy was seven days away from a drink and still detoxing. He talked about how he was the end of his rope with drinking and couldn't drink and couldn't quit but sober was worse. He talked about his head wouldn't shut up, how he hated his dad and hated himself and thought about killing himself every waking moment. Lost job, nowhere to go, staying in a motel, those of you who do this work know the story. And how the only relief he found was for an hour or so at a meeting. But then he had to go back to the motel and lay there staring at the ceiling all night while his head goes on and on. In essence he described me without a drink and without an answer. And it is my belief that if an alcoholic can't come away from an AA meeting with a real answer, something is wrong.
After the meeting I made a bee line for him and Twelfth-Stepped him. After I qualified him, I was telling him about myself and how I had found an answer and had one for him if he wanted it. During this time about four people interupted us, wanting to help this guy by giving him their phone numbers. The guy is dying, he doesn't need phone numbers, he needs first aid. Every time I politely told the interupters "Do you mind? We are on a life and death errand here." The last one was a woman who wanted to say something to the guy. Once again I thanked her but let her know that we were doing some Twelfth-Step work here. After she walked away I told the guy we should go somewhere where we wouldn't be bothered. I heard the woman say "What an a-hole!"
Now I'm not always Mr. Manners, but we AA's are about the most ill-mannered people on the planet. We interupt people in the middle of conversation, we walk in front of people when they are speaking, we answer our phones in the meeting. At my home group's open speaker meeting, a guy got up and answered his phone, walking right in front of the podium while the speaker was speaking. When I called him on it after the meeting, he didn't see anything wrong with it. But I guess I've forgotten that "We are sick alcoholics and it's about progress and not perfection."
One time some one told me that half the trick of living a spiritual life is learning some manners.
Jim
*UPDATE* on “I THINK my boyfriend…”
...is using drugs.
In the "Relationships and Parenting" forum, I posted my belief that my ex-boyfriend, and father of my child, was on drugs. I received a few responses - many of which pretty much told me to focus my time and attention on myself, and figure out why I've put up with such a situation for so long. It's hard letting go of something that I've come to love and hold dear to my heart. Especially now that we've made the choice to start a family together.
As for the update, I'm not quite sure why, but he talked to me last night. And when I say "talked", I mean opened up about more than usual. What I didn't say in my other post, was this...
Because of his "street business", unsurprisingly he's created a number of legal issues with himself. The most recent and past time, he was released on the probational agreement that 1)he would obtain employment or present valid proof that he's been looking for a job 2) stay out of legal trouble 3) complete 90 days of an 'Outpatient Treatment Program'. I've done my research on this, and yes, you can be admitted into such a program for smoking marijuana. My only issue is, he was never caught with marijuana, so...
Yesterday he was sick, claiming that his stomach was really bothering him. Because he was feeling vulnerable and sickly, I suppose it gave him the opportunity to be still and talk. He told me that he had to find a new program. Before going into details he told me that he wanted and needed to stop smoking. The conversation went on, and he told me that when he went, he was tested. What for, I'm not too sure. If someone needs and wants help, its given to them - I didn't know individuals were tested for their drug of choice first. :wtf2 Anyway, in addition to weed, he told me that the test came back positive for coke. He immediately went on to say that it got into his system by holding it, and then made a point to say that he hadn't even really 'put anything together' as of late. I sat on the phone a bit bewildered. Is this even possible?
I honestly feel as though I'm unraveling here. There are so many other things to think about, but this is a hard pill to swallow. I'm so frightened of what I may or may not have to one day tell my son.
In the "Relationships and Parenting" forum, I posted my belief that my ex-boyfriend, and father of my child, was on drugs. I received a few responses - many of which pretty much told me to focus my time and attention on myself, and figure out why I've put up with such a situation for so long. It's hard letting go of something that I've come to love and hold dear to my heart. Especially now that we've made the choice to start a family together.
As for the update, I'm not quite sure why, but he talked to me last night. And when I say "talked", I mean opened up about more than usual. What I didn't say in my other post, was this...
Because of his "street business", unsurprisingly he's created a number of legal issues with himself. The most recent and past time, he was released on the probational agreement that 1)he would obtain employment or present valid proof that he's been looking for a job 2) stay out of legal trouble 3) complete 90 days of an 'Outpatient Treatment Program'. I've done my research on this, and yes, you can be admitted into such a program for smoking marijuana. My only issue is, he was never caught with marijuana, so...
Yesterday he was sick, claiming that his stomach was really bothering him. Because he was feeling vulnerable and sickly, I suppose it gave him the opportunity to be still and talk. He told me that he had to find a new program. Before going into details he told me that he wanted and needed to stop smoking. The conversation went on, and he told me that when he went, he was tested. What for, I'm not too sure. If someone needs and wants help, its given to them - I didn't know individuals were tested for their drug of choice first. :wtf2 Anyway, in addition to weed, he told me that the test came back positive for coke. He immediately went on to say that it got into his system by holding it, and then made a point to say that he hadn't even really 'put anything together' as of late. I sat on the phone a bit bewildered. Is this even possible?
I honestly feel as though I'm unraveling here. There are so many other things to think about, but this is a hard pill to swallow. I'm so frightened of what I may or may not have to one day tell my son.
A letter to my mother
(my mother is a fundamentalist Christian)
Phillipians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
You may not speak insultingly of my husband to me.
It is not true that he married me to mooch off me, he has given me every dime he has since I stopped working 3 years ago.
Do you recall the story of the widow's penny in regards to the greater sums of those who had more?
I am ashamed of you for saying you were ashamed of him at Thanksgiving, simply because he had a healthy appetite and enjoyed the meal very much and ate as much as he wanted. There was plenty to go round and still leftovers. I am apalled that you would say this.
My husband is ill. Have you so soon forgotten your behavior for months while you were ill?
I also have mental illness, which you were unkind about. You must have a lowly opinion of me, as well.
I also recall Thanksgiving when you mistreated and nearly abused my precious grandson.
AND I remember who left early because they cannot enjoy being with their family.
It is my belief that compassion is far more important than a clean floor...any and all of the time.
I think Jesus addressed this when he spoke to Martha's complaints about Mary at Lazarus's death.
Please do not offend me this way again, no matter how things turn out.
I would be pleased if you took this letter to your pastor.
I Corinthians 13 tells us what is important...and what is not.
Tena
Phillipians 4:8
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
You may not speak insultingly of my husband to me.
It is not true that he married me to mooch off me, he has given me every dime he has since I stopped working 3 years ago.
Do you recall the story of the widow's penny in regards to the greater sums of those who had more?
I am ashamed of you for saying you were ashamed of him at Thanksgiving, simply because he had a healthy appetite and enjoyed the meal very much and ate as much as he wanted. There was plenty to go round and still leftovers. I am apalled that you would say this.
My husband is ill. Have you so soon forgotten your behavior for months while you were ill?
I also have mental illness, which you were unkind about. You must have a lowly opinion of me, as well.
I also recall Thanksgiving when you mistreated and nearly abused my precious grandson.
AND I remember who left early because they cannot enjoy being with their family.
It is my belief that compassion is far more important than a clean floor...any and all of the time.
I think Jesus addressed this when he spoke to Martha's complaints about Mary at Lazarus's death.
Please do not offend me this way again, no matter how things turn out.
I would be pleased if you took this letter to your pastor.
I Corinthians 13 tells us what is important...and what is not.
Tena
Hello
Hello to everyone :) This seems like a very vibrant and supportive site and I'm glad I stumbled across it!
I wasn't sure where to post, but since this is the thread I think I will be posting in mostly I thought it best to introduce myself here. Only within the last couple of months have I learned that there is a term to describe those adults who grew up in alcoholic families, but I have been able to immediately associate with the stories and the character traits that adult children seem to share. It's a relief to finally be able to make some sense of where these feelings came from and know that I'm not alone or unusual in having them.
My mother was a single parent from the time that I was 5 years old and she drank heavily throughout my childhood. I'm still trying to cope with undoing the damage that was done back then; I see a wonderful psychotherapist 3 times a week and finally feel that there may just be a light at the end of the tunnel. The therapy is the thing I feel helps me most but I do also take medications. I've been on prozac for 12 years but I have an appointment coming up to speak to a psychiatrist about this as it's my personal belief that the prozac makes my anxiety levels sky rocket-has anyone else experienced that?
I hope to get to know everyone and to contribute to this great forum.
xx
I wasn't sure where to post, but since this is the thread I think I will be posting in mostly I thought it best to introduce myself here. Only within the last couple of months have I learned that there is a term to describe those adults who grew up in alcoholic families, but I have been able to immediately associate with the stories and the character traits that adult children seem to share. It's a relief to finally be able to make some sense of where these feelings came from and know that I'm not alone or unusual in having them.
My mother was a single parent from the time that I was 5 years old and she drank heavily throughout my childhood. I'm still trying to cope with undoing the damage that was done back then; I see a wonderful psychotherapist 3 times a week and finally feel that there may just be a light at the end of the tunnel. The therapy is the thing I feel helps me most but I do also take medications. I've been on prozac for 12 years but I have an appointment coming up to speak to a psychiatrist about this as it's my personal belief that the prozac makes my anxiety levels sky rocket-has anyone else experienced that?
I hope to get to know everyone and to contribute to this great forum.
xx
