Drug Rehab Options Blog

Hi,
I'm an ACOA, perhaps not fully recovered, as I come face to face with my own worst memories, as I strive to be sure my child has a better life than I did, growing up. And he does. I'm an involved, engaged, caring parent, as is my husband, who is an alcoholic in recovery.

We've worked really hard to be sure our home could be as stable and loving as it could be. We're planning a big 5 year old birthday for our child, but the trouble is, I'm jealous. Jealous that our kid gets the love and attention from mommy and daddy that I didn't.

I find myself feeling so resentful that he has what I didn't get. When my parents forgot my birthday, largely ignored me, left me alone, and were so neglectful. We're really blessed with a great kid, who brings genuine smiles to us, and deserves a great life. But when I was that age, 4 going on 5, I had some really painful experiences, that still haunt me, and I haven't been able to let go of the hurt/anger. I'm working hard to be sure my child doesn't experience what I did. Which is making my jealous of my own child!

Has anyone ever felt this way? How did you cope? Please help!

I've attending a couple of meetings in the last week that have provided me with an understanding of keep coming back, it works if you work it, and you are worth it. That statement hit me all of a sudden this morning and gave me a sudden lightning bolt of enlightenment. I walked out of a meeting this morning and for the first time, truly felt like I am on the path to recovery that my HP wants me to take.....and it felt good. My path to recovery is trying, gut wrenching, scary, emotionally draining, and overwhelming at times, but I am so grateful for it! For the first time last night in an Al-Anon meeting I was able to say.....I'm grateful for my relationship with the alcoholic that was in my life, because it was that relationship that got me to realize that my life was unmanageable, insane, and I wanted a better life for myself. I haven't been able to say that in the past and truly mean it, but I can now. Thanks for letting me share yet another one of my "aha moments" with all of you!

Hi all.....it's been awhile since i've written here,but i do check in on occasion...I started here over two years ago,and i have been back and forth and up and down so many times in those two years....
I am happy to say that I have been sober since april of this year....with only one four day,"slip".....(luckily i caught myself before it got too far)
I am now a non-smoker as well,because,for me,drinking and smoking went,literally,hand in hand....
What made me stop,and want to live a healthier life was the news that i was going to be a gramma for the first time....I had a renewed reason to feel hopeful about the future..someone else to live a better life for,as well as for myself.
Every day i am challenged.....but the rewards are so much better when you stay sober...just one day at a time,and the days turn into weeks,which turn into months.....and you find yourself looking at life in a whole new way.
so,to all of you who are here and are struggling......it CAN be done....and it's so worth it........
PS...my granddaughter is due any day now......and she'll have a gramma she can be proud of.
PSS.....love you all.

Sometimes the simplest of thoughts are exactly what I need to hear. This was the perfect meditation for me today, wanted to share it with you and everyone else on SR..........

Thursday, October 30, 2008
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Self Value

We have a real life of our own. Yes, we do.

That empty feeling, that senses that everyone except us has a life - an important life, a valuable life, a better life - is a remnant from the past. It is also a self-defeating belief that is inaccurate.

We are real. So is our life. Jump into it, and we'll see.

Today, I will live my life and treasure it as mine.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

We have a real life of our own. Yes, we do.

That empty feeling, that sense that everyone except us has a life - an important life, a valuable life, a better life - is a remnant from the past. It is also a self-defeating belief that is inaccurate.

We are real. So is our life. Jump into it, and we'll see.

Today, I will live my life and treasure it as mine.

friends,

we leave tomorrow to drive to pick up my son on Wednesday Oct. 21. He will be leaving rehab after 10 months and proceeding to a halfway house (we take him) in Atlanta, Georgia. The environment seems to be very structured from all that I have read. He will need to go on five job interviews per day.
I am anxious but at the same time hopeful. I am proud that he has achieved being ten months clean. I want him to have a better life and hope that he will be able to find a job that will enable him to stay in the halfway house. We are willinging to pay for a period of time as long as he abides by the rules and tries to seek employment.
It has been a long journey for our family.........at time heart breaking. Please say a prayer for our family and my son that the transition will be something that he can handle. It will be a big step for him.
Thank you for any feedback. I am just thankful for all of you who have supported me.
Sincerely, dixied

Derek was one of the first that greeted me. I was new. A stranger to this new job. Relationships had been established and made. I was the newbie. But he spoke to me anyways. An open heart.

We hit it off talking about music. He was somewhat close to my age, only off by 9 years. The others could be my children. We chatted often about music. I chuckled when he knew of a band I listened to in high school.

His smile was contagious. But I did see and hear a sadness from time to time. He was like a lost puppy. Cute and FULL of potential but also insecure.

Being a bartender for many years, I noticed he always had a "drink" stashed in the corner. A different color than a soda or water. He seemed to "protect" it. If only I would of asked???

My friend ....my coworker...died three weeks ago. He lost his battle with drugs and alcohol. I miss him. And I miss the fact that maybe I could of tried harder to help.

He lives on. His heart still beats...but in another body. He saved lives.
That comforts me. I wish he was still here though.

I hope I can live a better life for him.


Glad to be here. JL

Hi. I'm brand new to this site and I have a big problem or I feel that way tonight. Maybe I will change my mind. I'm not even sure if this is the right place to post and I don't know if anyone can relate to me but I know that my life is going down the crapper so to speak because of my oxy addiction. Mostly I am concerned about the amount of money is costs me, which isn't a great reason to get help.

Long story short I am pretty hooked on oxy, my boyfriend had a back injury several years ago and he started selling them. I took recreational painkillers but maybe (at the most) 7 a week when we met for stress, to get high basically and it didn't hurt anyone. I've always held a great job, am college educated, etc. You can't tell by looking at me that I'm a junkie. I don't smoke, eat meat and rarely drink. I bike to work and am very healthy.

Anyway, over the past couple years my intake has gone up and up. Now I'm hooked on the relationship, the pills: snort and take them orally. I go into withdrawal when I try to break up with my boyfriend. I'm not even sure I love him or if I've just stayed together for the "benefits." It's costing me a lot of money and I'm not sure I want out and I honestly don't know what to do. How did I get myself into such a mess? I've never had a problem like this before. I guess i just want to know that there is hope to have a better life than this. I am feeling like such a looser.