Drug Rehab Options Blog

I wanted to share a little about myself as a newcomer. I am an alcoholic addict. I have 19 days clean and sober after a pretty bad relapse. Prior to that I nearly had three months.
I am pretty green I guess you could say.

I am basically a binge drinker. I can go for a month sober and then something will go wrong and I will go on one :Xmaselfd of a bender. This usually riddles me with guilt and embarrassment. The older I get the worse the drunk. I black out. THe second half of my addiction and most dangerous is my desire for cocaine after a few drinks. It is powerful.

I go to AA and NA in my community and also therapy. I want very much a good peaceful and sober life. I am feeling much better, however my significant other (SO) continues to drink and party. We live together. He does it out of the house but comes home under the influence. He lies about having to work, etc, so that he can go drink and he thinks this is being kind to me. I become very angry and upset. This is what had lead to my last relapse...the contant disappointment and astonishment that he thinks I am wrong and he is right.

Anyway, I got sober..he didn't. I am clean and sober and reaching out to all forms of support. I tried to reach out to his family and see if they could influence him in some way but they said that he did not drink and that he was a hard worker and if I was nicer to him maybe he would come home more.:Xmasnstar

They put the funk in dysfunctional.

Greetings

This is my first post on the board. Nice to meet you all and thanks for all your help. Binge drinker here. 4 days sober (5 days starts in 25 minutes).

I have been reading a lot about "lose the ego". I would have to admit that my EGO when drinking was large but I believe it must carry over from the drinking to the sober times. I am sitting here trying to write this while dropping the EGO and god is it scarry because I know that some people think I am an EGOtistical A-Hole when I drink. I believe it masks my insecurities and frustrations from trying to change things that I cannot.

So, what does "Lose the EGO" mean? It seems to me like it means that a recovering alcoholic should drop all defenses, denials, and thoughts caused by their drinking and start learning to re-think. Am I right?

God, is this scarry because when I think of dropping my ego, I feel scared of the world. Vulnerable. Defenseless. It makes me feel like the people in my life that have wronged me are right when I know they are not.

How long does it take before losing the EGO sees benefits? Because I feel really naked right now and so out of my skin that it is not even funny. :Xmasrstar

Hey Im new just wanting to say hi and wonder if i could be part of the forum?

I want to stop drinking but its not been easy.

Im twenty two and been a binge drinker for a few years now.. Im thinking about 4 years. I don't know how much i used to drink because i never cared enough to count. However recently i can say i binge about once a week. I've been having problems quitting. Its become a problem and I think im lucky that it has not cost me more then it has. At least I hope not.

Im OCD (light hypochondria) and drinking is one of the only drugs that has worked to calm anxiety however its also a problem. I drink because i get worried about my health (ironically) or i get stressed out about my life. Lately im worried that my drinking habbits over the past 4 years have been enough to cause permanent damage to my liver ect. So ironically the extra stress has been making laying of the booze even harder.

Thought maybe if i joined up on a forum with support It might make things easier to manage. Hope its not a problem. Gosh i wish i realised how dangerous alcohol is sooner.

Thanks in advance and if anyone wants to chat i have quite a bit of free time lately.

Last night was the end of day 3. It was sheer agony. I couldn't sleep--again. I was wracked by fear, anxiety and pure panic. Something horrible was about to open it's terrible mouth and swallow me. I had the insane urge to go running into the street, screaming. Had to wake my poor husband and mother(lives next door, thank heaven) and had her give me some ativan to calm down.

Being a binge drinker, I've gone through withdrawal before, but nothing like this. I made up my mind to finally take action. Saw my Dr this am and confessed my 15 year bout with alcoholism. I had never told my Drs before--always going in for "depression", "nerves", etc. Took the pills and still drank. He gave me an Rx for the withdrawal, told me it would last about a week and then simply asked: "What are you going to do about it?" I told him I was going to AA--today. He squeezed my shoulder and said "90 meetings in 90 days."

I was scared to death to walk into that building, sure it was filled with hopeless, beaten down derelicts. Was I ever wrong! They all looked like me--almost. They looked HAPPY! They were filled with a calm, inner peace, something I've never experienced. Everyone was friendly and warm. Nothing was asked of me, I need only to listen as they told the stories of what brought them to AA and what they had taken away from it.

After the meeting there were lots of hugs--I do not like to be touched by strangers or even people I know--but I welcomed their embraces, it just seemed natural, we all had a common bond. I was given lots of information and phone numbers to call if I needed help and the offers were sincere.

I decided to go to a second meeting this pm and had the same experience. Many of these people had been dragged lower than I've ever been and yet they had joy that I've never had. Most of all they had freedom from this disease of alcoholism and that's what I want and that's why I'll go back.

Peggy

Hi to all. I have known for a while I am a binge drinker and it is causing me constant problems. Mainly with drinking from 9 at nite til 6 or 7 the next morning about 4 or 5 times a month, then I make excuses and miss work. I am 25 years old. I am letting my family down and myself. Once I start drinking I cannot stop until I've drank over a fifth of vodka. 9 out of ten times I can't stop at least. I am not sure if I am going to go to AA or not. And my bpyfriend drinks too, I don't know if he will quit. He can have problems too, just not as many as me lately. I need help. What should I do. I can't imagine my life without drinking. My wedding, going out with friends, etc. Someone please send me a message and help.

I have been reading a lot of posts lately about the effects long term alcohol abuse has on our brain, liver, and nervous system. I am getting really freaked out!!!! One post in particular about a girl who died at the age of 22. I am 23 and I was a weekend binge-drinker from the age of 18-21 and then more frequently for the past 2 years. Three-four nights a week going out and drinking a bunch of drinks and ending up hungover. Anyway, how long does it take for damage from alcohol to occur in the brain and liver? What are some signs to look out for. I read about people on this site who said they were all-day every day drinkers for 5+ years and then other posts about people who seem to drink heavily every night for two-three years and end up dying! I don't intend to drink again but right now i am worried that i may have done severe damage to my liver/brain/whatver.

Sorry if this post is a repeat from others in the past...but any insight on how your health improved or deteriorated after quitting would be helpful. Also, I know Ill probably get a few comments to go to the doctor, but i cant face that quite yet :cries3:

So today was depressing, stressful and makes me wanna drink. Dealing with family...well my family just sucks.

Well I suppose I should properly introduce myself. I am in desperate need of someone to talk to about my issues. I am a habitual dui offender. Finishing up my 2nd dui...classes...fines...etc. Oh but it gets better...I got my third dui last august and have to go to court next month for it. Since I was on probation still from my second I was put on SCRAM. So I have no choice but to be sober. With all that being said...I realize I have a problem. I am trying to deal with it everyday. Wake up first thing on my mind is my dui's...last thing before bed are my dui's. I was never an everyday drinker...well...maybe when I was younger. These days I am more of a binge drinker...I drink to get smashed. And not just alcohol but some drugs as well...weed, coke, ectasy mostly.

Now I am a sober mess...it's been about a month and realize that my drinking seems to be stress/anxiety induced...it seems I get cravings mostly when stressed or anxious these days. And with the story I just admitted above I am anxious and stressed nost days and am desperately trying to find an escape from my life. I was even thinking about getting some coke this week. I know I know...not a good idea...I didn't get any anyways. But I thought about it. No one knows about this last dui so I am dealing with it on my own. I am so embarressed. But it's more then that now...I can't live like this any longer. I don't want to live like this anymore. I need help. I want a way to live right/normal. I'm scared. I'm a mess...ha ha. Sorry had to laugh. Anyways I guess I just needed to vent I hope no one minds. Any advice would be much appreciated...I know I tried to cram a lot of info on the first time. Thanks!

hello

i'm giving sobriety yet another go.

i'm a binge drinker. fortunately i'm in a job which makes it impossible for me to drink during the week, but boy do i make up for it at the weekend.

as per usual i'm being driven on by self loathing and guilt. it's very hard to live with myself when i feel this way, yet i know that when this feeling wears off the desire to drink again will return. why oh why do i continue to push
the self destruct button when i have pretty good life and loving family?

i'd like to give this forum a go. i've already found many helpful posts.

best wishes to you all.

I have been through the steps and try my best to live 10 and 11 on a daily basis. I was/am a binge drinker and can go two weeks or even a month without drinking or even thinking of drinking. I ENJOY being sober.

I doubt everyone had their obsession removed immediately so I would like to ask how people coped when the obsession hit? It is no good me 'playing the tape through' etc or trying to exert my willpower...

...applies to me totally.

I can 'tune into' my HP a lot of the time but when the obsession hits, I lose that ability.

I think my problem might stem from a problem with not fully accepting step 1, not fully believing I am an alcoholic DESPITE the fact that all the evidence says I am. Perhaps that is all there is to it?


Quote from the 1st edition of the Big Book.

Drank late last night in the morning. Puked my guts up this morning. Feeling very bad. Liver hurts, stomach hurts. Heart beating all weird. I am a binge-drinker, and I usually only drink alone. I have been truly battling this for several years but just got serious about recovery today. I called my counselor and my girlfriend and confessed the true level of my problem. It felt pretty good, but I may lose my girlfriend because of it. I usually have problems after going three or four days (when my symptoms go away). After I start feeling better I let my guard down and slip right back into it and binge until I get sick, usually drinking for at least 2 or 3 days straight. Any hope/encouragement from fellow bingers? I need to start going to a group. My counselor recommend I go every day for the next two weeks. How do I find this many meetings in my area? I live in Orange County, CA, and couldn't find very many meetings going on anywhere near me this week.