Archive for the ‘Binge Drinking’ tag
Newly sober!
I have been drinking on and off for about 20 years. Mostly binge drinking, can't stop when I start and hiding it from friends and family, etc. Last night was my last straw, I got really drunk and told my husband that I wanted to quit. He is extremely supportive. I guess I don't know where to begin...any suggestions would be great! Thank you!
Nervous about 1ST AA meeting
Hi!
I just found this site yesterday, my first sober day after yet another week long binge. I had been doing well--not drinking every day---then was laid off from a very good job---my fault, too many sick calls. My binge drinking--alcoholism has caused me trouble over the last 15 years, I never drank until my mid thirties.
I believe AA could help me, but am terrified of walking in that door. I've read alot about what to expect, but am still very frightend and nervous about it. My self-esteem since the job loss has hit rock bottom and I am constantly fighting the urge to drink.
Any advice?
Thanks,
Peggy
I just found this site yesterday, my first sober day after yet another week long binge. I had been doing well--not drinking every day---then was laid off from a very good job---my fault, too many sick calls. My binge drinking--alcoholism has caused me trouble over the last 15 years, I never drank until my mid thirties.
I believe AA could help me, but am terrified of walking in that door. I've read alot about what to expect, but am still very frightend and nervous about it. My self-esteem since the job loss has hit rock bottom and I am constantly fighting the urge to drink.
Any advice?
Thanks,
Peggy
Hurting first time to site
Need support badly. Binge drinking husband 2 sons 24, out of home 19 at home.
Married 24 years. First years both in recovery (me al anon) and Christians. About 8 years into marriage husband becomes dry, begins verbal abuse towards me primarily. He slowly began drinking again 2 to 3 times a year. I stayed because I have no family, and still wanted to pretend. Also, I wouldn't have been a good single mother. The boys would run all over me. I continued church but, boys activities hampered my meeting attendance. In 2007 I knew I would have to leave when the last one graduated from H.S. One last attempt I got us to The Meadows for intensive week (I would not recommend this place) and he promised to attend one AA meeting a week which he never did. My contract to myself is if he drank again I would leave. Well.... here I am 3 months later living in an RV at a campground. He says I'm crazy, bringing it on myself, the boys don't talk to me and I feel I've wasted the last 24 years. I really didn't have any major expectations except I didn't think the boys would ignore me. I am grieving big time. I've started going to an abusive d wives group which I think is helping more than Al Anon I think his thinking has gotten sicker over the years
Any feedback helpful
Married 24 years. First years both in recovery (me al anon) and Christians. About 8 years into marriage husband becomes dry, begins verbal abuse towards me primarily. He slowly began drinking again 2 to 3 times a year. I stayed because I have no family, and still wanted to pretend. Also, I wouldn't have been a good single mother. The boys would run all over me. I continued church but, boys activities hampered my meeting attendance. In 2007 I knew I would have to leave when the last one graduated from H.S. One last attempt I got us to The Meadows for intensive week (I would not recommend this place) and he promised to attend one AA meeting a week which he never did. My contract to myself is if he drank again I would leave. Well.... here I am 3 months later living in an RV at a campground. He says I'm crazy, bringing it on myself, the boys don't talk to me and I feel I've wasted the last 24 years. I really didn't have any major expectations except I didn't think the boys would ignore me. I am grieving big time. I've started going to an abusive d wives group which I think is helping more than Al Anon I think his thinking has gotten sicker over the years
Any feedback helpful
sober period
Hey, I'm new to this forum.
I've had alcohol issues for some years now. I always drink friday, saturday and sunday, pretty much binge drinking, going on from the point where I wake up, untill I fall asleep. Then I will usually have a day in the middle of the week where I drink as well.
I manage to get through what I have to do so far, when it comes to school and stuff (I'm 21). But of course it's becoming a problem, otherwise I wouldn't have written here.
Like the other day I was very hungover on a monday, so I thought, the only way to get me through the day would be to take a drink. (I had a bottle of whiskey). Only, I ended up drinking the entire bottle throughout the day. I was hungover for days after that.
It was not the first time something like that happened.
Of course nobody knows about this stuff, and I feel ashamed of it and always promise myself that it won't happen again, wich it does, sooner or later.
Like I said, I have realised that it's becoming a problem, it really messes up my life. I can't focus on school properly because I'm tired or hungover so much of the time. I allso have panic-attacks and they become worse when I drink.
I was thinking that I would have a long sober period now, to get myself back together. I haven't had anything to drink in almost a week now, wich is a lot to me.
Anyway, I have nobody to talk to about this, so I just wanted to vent.
I've had alcohol issues for some years now. I always drink friday, saturday and sunday, pretty much binge drinking, going on from the point where I wake up, untill I fall asleep. Then I will usually have a day in the middle of the week where I drink as well.
I manage to get through what I have to do so far, when it comes to school and stuff (I'm 21). But of course it's becoming a problem, otherwise I wouldn't have written here.
Like the other day I was very hungover on a monday, so I thought, the only way to get me through the day would be to take a drink. (I had a bottle of whiskey). Only, I ended up drinking the entire bottle throughout the day. I was hungover for days after that.
It was not the first time something like that happened.
Of course nobody knows about this stuff, and I feel ashamed of it and always promise myself that it won't happen again, wich it does, sooner or later.
Like I said, I have realised that it's becoming a problem, it really messes up my life. I can't focus on school properly because I'm tired or hungover so much of the time. I allso have panic-attacks and they become worse when I drink.
I was thinking that I would have a long sober period now, to get myself back together. I haven't had anything to drink in almost a week now, wich is a lot to me.
Anyway, I have nobody to talk to about this, so I just wanted to vent.
Pickled Brained Husband
I have been married to my AH for 11years (3 kids - 13SD - 12S - 10S). About a year ago I woke up and realized the mess our lives had become :stupid:. We lost our house, he lost many many jobs, cars repo-ed, we moved 10 times in eleven years, lost friends, our sanity and so much more. I finally wised up (and I still am) and decided to make one last move back to our hometown. We always lived in the country 30min to an hour from all of our loved ones. It was never my choice to be away from everyone. I think it was the way of the AH to control & isolate us. Well since being back the kids and I have more to do living in town. AH discovered the local bar and the good ol days of binge drinking was kicked into high gear. Needless to say he ended up in jail for a domestic dispute we had one night after "Band Practice" he plays guitar. His parents bailed him out, which made me very upset. I wanted him to sober up and take a friggin time out. He spent 9 hours there then and was released on the conditions to live with his parents and to stay away from me. Just me NOT the kids. He called the moment he got out calling me. Crying, ashamed, quack quack quack. I bought it, I love this man and on want him to get help. Dudes been drunk for 11yrs straight!! I started going to al anon when he went to jail. After him making an effort to seek counseling for his drinking he made his own choice to move back in. We went back to court the judge revoked his bond and he went to jail for 6 days! I was distraught.... I am a recovering controller, care taker, fixer, enabler, & co dependent. I lost my mind worried he would lose his job and the anger and resentment he must have felt for me. I was sad depressed and lost. BUT not stressed about his killing himself. It was a relief to know he was safe and not my problem. Any how after the 6 days he went back to his parents for 3 days till court. After court he was allowed to move back home on the conditions He goes to AA, continues the outpatient therapy, & NO DRINKING. The next day after moving back home and talking to the kids making the "promises" he goes to band practice and drinks! Toned down BUT still. I refuse to throw myself in front of the door & stop him......his choices are HIS and I will make mine accordingly. He isn't drinking everyday like the last eleven years. BUT still thinks weekends are ok for now. He does get wasted on Band night, after his AA meeting this weekend on Saturday, he drank till 3am talking about how he is going to stop drinking :wtf2 . The kids are all going to Al Ateen & me to 2 Alanon meetings a week. He refuses to live with his Mom & Dad. I know he will never leave. I would like for the kid & i to work the program for 6 months. Make our decision then to leave in the summer. They are angery and feed up & frankly I am too. Its exhausting having him around. Any ideas?? Don't know if we can make it 6months....Any suggestions to get him to see the light? :skillet - Thanks in advance!
alcoholic boyfriend?
hello, i am new here and would like to share.
i have found this site when looking for others in my situation, and have read some of the sticky threads which i found extremely helpful.
i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and have always been wondering whether he is an alcoholic. this is because he doesnÂ’t drink every day, or huge amounts (like bottles of whiskey), but once he starts drinking (a couple of times a week) he cannot stop.
he drinks until he passes out.
these are some of the things that make me believe he might be an alcoholic:
- i find hidden empty beer bottles when cleaning up (under bed, behind sofa etc.) – he’ll say oh they must have been there for months
- he will go out saying he will get a certain number of beer bottles but try and sneak more in (caught him several times)
- generally lies about the quantity he drinks
- denies he had beer while being out even if i can see heÂ’s lying (there are a lot of things he does body language-wise he only does after having beer)
- i tried to control his money (i know now – bad idea) but he always took some and spent it on “lemonade” or “something to eat”, also he never gets receipts from supermarkets so i cannot track his spendings
- switches between admitting to having a problem and stating he’s “alright actually”
- cannot keep his promises regarding drink
- we must have made about 100 “deals” since being together, he will only have 8 bottles max per day, he will only drink 1 day per week..nothing ever worked
writing down all these things i am about 95% sure he is an alcoholic. a couple of years back i found some hypnotherapist advertising to help with binge-drinking, and my boyfriend even went there for a consultation, but he never went back to do the actual hypnotherapy. the guyÂ’s a charlatan he said etc. etc.
one of the worst effects of his drinking on me is that during his solitary night time drinking he will keep me up as well. not physically but simply by being noisy, singing along to music, rattling around in the kitchen etc. (our flat is quite small).
no matter how convinced he was beforehand saying he would definitely not wake me up, he would fail. most of the time he doesn’t remember anything the next day and i will tell him. then he’ll say sorry and that’s that – until the next time.
once he feels the urge to drink he will be totally fixated and unable to think of anything else. he has no other “hobbies”. he drinks before, during and after social situations, or if he’s bored, or because it’s the weekend, or because the chain broke on his bike, or because we had an argument, or for whatever reason will seem good enough at the time.
but enough about him. ;-) i am stupid enough to be an “enabler” (a term which i had just learned about on here) – i have just truly realized all the things i had been doing wrong, like buying him beer (obviously) or waking him up for work when he would be physically unable to wake up himself, or making excuses for him if he didn’t turn up at someone’s party when he said he would.
at the moment i feel it’s too late for us, i feel so much resentment..last weekend was probably one of the worst – he went to the garage for beer twice during the night, the 2nd time 5.30 in the morning. the next day we had a really big argument, he wanted go out to buy more beer and i took all the money (to save him from himself so to speak because he was still intoxicated from the night before - like taking away the car keys if someone is unfit to drive i thought) and locked myself into the bedroom.
he broke the lock and doorframe by kicking the door. he has never done anything that drastic before..i fixed it since but the cracks in the door frame are still visible.
so the arguments are definitely escalating more. after this we hardly spoke during last week and i asked him for a “talk” 2 days ago. he said not now but tomorrow (saturday) is ok.
then yesterday he did not mention it, and i didnÂ’t either. i thought he should be the one trying to talk to me if he wants to continue this relationship.
today i said again what about a talk next week and he said ok.
he will go to visit some family in a few weeks time and i intend to ask him not to come back.
i feel i have the strength to do that now. i have to get some distance. all his lying, deceiving, breaking promises and depriving me of sleep is not healthy for both me and our relationship.
he just went out again to get some beer because he’s “bored of drinking tea”, he asked me if he could but that was meaningless because even when i have said no in the past he still bought some. i just said it’s your decision.
and he decided to have the beer.
ok, this post was a lot longer (and more jumbled) than i had intended. it feels good to talk about all this since there is no “real life person” i can openly talk to about my boyfriend and his drinking.
thank you for listening.
i have found this site when looking for others in my situation, and have read some of the sticky threads which i found extremely helpful.
i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years, and have always been wondering whether he is an alcoholic. this is because he doesnÂ’t drink every day, or huge amounts (like bottles of whiskey), but once he starts drinking (a couple of times a week) he cannot stop.
he drinks until he passes out.
these are some of the things that make me believe he might be an alcoholic:
- i find hidden empty beer bottles when cleaning up (under bed, behind sofa etc.) – he’ll say oh they must have been there for months
- he will go out saying he will get a certain number of beer bottles but try and sneak more in (caught him several times)
- generally lies about the quantity he drinks
- denies he had beer while being out even if i can see heÂ’s lying (there are a lot of things he does body language-wise he only does after having beer)
- i tried to control his money (i know now – bad idea) but he always took some and spent it on “lemonade” or “something to eat”, also he never gets receipts from supermarkets so i cannot track his spendings
- switches between admitting to having a problem and stating he’s “alright actually”
- cannot keep his promises regarding drink
- we must have made about 100 “deals” since being together, he will only have 8 bottles max per day, he will only drink 1 day per week..nothing ever worked
writing down all these things i am about 95% sure he is an alcoholic. a couple of years back i found some hypnotherapist advertising to help with binge-drinking, and my boyfriend even went there for a consultation, but he never went back to do the actual hypnotherapy. the guyÂ’s a charlatan he said etc. etc.
one of the worst effects of his drinking on me is that during his solitary night time drinking he will keep me up as well. not physically but simply by being noisy, singing along to music, rattling around in the kitchen etc. (our flat is quite small).
no matter how convinced he was beforehand saying he would definitely not wake me up, he would fail. most of the time he doesn’t remember anything the next day and i will tell him. then he’ll say sorry and that’s that – until the next time.
once he feels the urge to drink he will be totally fixated and unable to think of anything else. he has no other “hobbies”. he drinks before, during and after social situations, or if he’s bored, or because it’s the weekend, or because the chain broke on his bike, or because we had an argument, or for whatever reason will seem good enough at the time.
but enough about him. ;-) i am stupid enough to be an “enabler” (a term which i had just learned about on here) – i have just truly realized all the things i had been doing wrong, like buying him beer (obviously) or waking him up for work when he would be physically unable to wake up himself, or making excuses for him if he didn’t turn up at someone’s party when he said he would.
at the moment i feel it’s too late for us, i feel so much resentment..last weekend was probably one of the worst – he went to the garage for beer twice during the night, the 2nd time 5.30 in the morning. the next day we had a really big argument, he wanted go out to buy more beer and i took all the money (to save him from himself so to speak because he was still intoxicated from the night before - like taking away the car keys if someone is unfit to drive i thought) and locked myself into the bedroom.
he broke the lock and doorframe by kicking the door. he has never done anything that drastic before..i fixed it since but the cracks in the door frame are still visible.
so the arguments are definitely escalating more. after this we hardly spoke during last week and i asked him for a “talk” 2 days ago. he said not now but tomorrow (saturday) is ok.
then yesterday he did not mention it, and i didnÂ’t either. i thought he should be the one trying to talk to me if he wants to continue this relationship.
today i said again what about a talk next week and he said ok.
he will go to visit some family in a few weeks time and i intend to ask him not to come back.
i feel i have the strength to do that now. i have to get some distance. all his lying, deceiving, breaking promises and depriving me of sleep is not healthy for both me and our relationship.
he just went out again to get some beer because he’s “bored of drinking tea”, he asked me if he could but that was meaningless because even when i have said no in the past he still bought some. i just said it’s your decision.
and he decided to have the beer.
ok, this post was a lot longer (and more jumbled) than i had intended. it feels good to talk about all this since there is no “real life person” i can openly talk to about my boyfriend and his drinking.
thank you for listening.
Finally told my husband… he’s being selfish!
After 5 days of sobriety and consistsently going in and out of feeling confident, I came home last night from my second job and my husband was having a glass of wine with a friend. No big deal... he ask me if i wanted to try it and I declined! :) But this was my first incling that I am going to have to tell him soon because I am not going to be able to be that strong all the time.
I chose not to tell him right away because I've made too many promises in the past that I would be better and it never happened. So I wanted to prove to myself first that I could go a weekend without it, with only a few friends knowing my decision to stop. So here is the rest of last night...
DH ended up going out with his friend for a few more drinks at a local bar that we often attend.... or at one point did before my son arrived. Last weekend on my 5 day binge drinking session I went to that local bar for my friends birthday... we had already gotten the coke so we were all set there. But right as we walked in one of the bouncers who I have asked for it in the past came up to us and said he had it if we needed it. Well my husband went to that bar last night and he told him he had it if he wanted. My hubby never really got into it like I did... and hated that I loved it as much as I did. I have continuously lied that I didn't do it that much even though I did it every opportunity I could.
This morning he said "You need to stop doing coke and going to the bar"... Perfect entry to what I have been secretly hiding from him for the last 5 days that I have become powerless to drugs and alcohol and I'm a Alcoholic and addicted to coke. His reaction was so selfish and he even admitted that it was. He kept saying you don't have a problem honey... uh YES I DO IF I AM TELLING YOU THAT I DO!!! He doesn't want things to change, yet upset that I can't just slow down and just have a few. He said my son alone should be my power to just say no to drugs!!! If only it was that easy, right?
I've been crying all morning now... My first opportunity to come here and talk to you guys is what has kept me sane. In the end he did say he is willing to support me and do whatever it takes. But how can I get him to really understand that this is much more serious than he thinks it is??
I chose not to tell him right away because I've made too many promises in the past that I would be better and it never happened. So I wanted to prove to myself first that I could go a weekend without it, with only a few friends knowing my decision to stop. So here is the rest of last night...
DH ended up going out with his friend for a few more drinks at a local bar that we often attend.... or at one point did before my son arrived. Last weekend on my 5 day binge drinking session I went to that local bar for my friends birthday... we had already gotten the coke so we were all set there. But right as we walked in one of the bouncers who I have asked for it in the past came up to us and said he had it if we needed it. Well my husband went to that bar last night and he told him he had it if he wanted. My hubby never really got into it like I did... and hated that I loved it as much as I did. I have continuously lied that I didn't do it that much even though I did it every opportunity I could.
This morning he said "You need to stop doing coke and going to the bar"... Perfect entry to what I have been secretly hiding from him for the last 5 days that I have become powerless to drugs and alcohol and I'm a Alcoholic and addicted to coke. His reaction was so selfish and he even admitted that it was. He kept saying you don't have a problem honey... uh YES I DO IF I AM TELLING YOU THAT I DO!!! He doesn't want things to change, yet upset that I can't just slow down and just have a few. He said my son alone should be my power to just say no to drugs!!! If only it was that easy, right?
I've been crying all morning now... My first opportunity to come here and talk to you guys is what has kept me sane. In the end he did say he is willing to support me and do whatever it takes. But how can I get him to really understand that this is much more serious than he thinks it is??
Struggling to move on
Hi
Im struggling with things. I split up with my ex a couple of months ago and we lived separately until I found a new place to live. I moved into my own place 1 month ago.
I didnt take very much stuff and have built this apartment up to be bright and have tried to make it homely.
The problem Im having is Im consumed with thoughts of my ex everyday, I cannot concentrate on anything else and miss him so much and feel so sad.
In the end it was a mutual decision to separate...I could not deal with the binge drinking and the days on end of disappearing acts though he claims to have gone off to drink as I am insecure and unstable!
My self esteem is low, my family do not live in this country and I feel a burden to my friends who are no doubt sick of hearing me talk about it.
Ive tried to become involved in some sports and social activity but I cant see my life moving forward and am not sure I want it to without him in it.
We are still in contact via texts mainly and its all very lovely 'I miss you' texts but I wonder how long then can go on for when we're not together.
And if a day goes by without a text or contact I find it painful to get through the day.
I have also tried to focus on the bad parts of the relationship the verbally abusive rants, walking on eggshells but I guess right now im feeling lonely and all I want is to be with him. I guess thats not showing much self respect.
Sorry this is so long, I hadnt meant it to be. Just after advice really on how I can start to feel positive and look forward and how to stop constantly thinking about him.
Im struggling with things. I split up with my ex a couple of months ago and we lived separately until I found a new place to live. I moved into my own place 1 month ago.
I didnt take very much stuff and have built this apartment up to be bright and have tried to make it homely.
The problem Im having is Im consumed with thoughts of my ex everyday, I cannot concentrate on anything else and miss him so much and feel so sad.
In the end it was a mutual decision to separate...I could not deal with the binge drinking and the days on end of disappearing acts though he claims to have gone off to drink as I am insecure and unstable!
My self esteem is low, my family do not live in this country and I feel a burden to my friends who are no doubt sick of hearing me talk about it.
Ive tried to become involved in some sports and social activity but I cant see my life moving forward and am not sure I want it to without him in it.
We are still in contact via texts mainly and its all very lovely 'I miss you' texts but I wonder how long then can go on for when we're not together.
And if a day goes by without a text or contact I find it painful to get through the day.
I have also tried to focus on the bad parts of the relationship the verbally abusive rants, walking on eggshells but I guess right now im feeling lonely and all I want is to be with him. I guess thats not showing much self respect.
Sorry this is so long, I hadnt meant it to be. Just after advice really on how I can start to feel positive and look forward and how to stop constantly thinking about him.
Strugling to get length of sobriety!
In the past year I have tried many times to get my self sober for a period of time . I have been refered to an alcohol treatment centre for 6 months. But once I started back work my binge drinking has started again ,my access to my children has slipped. My attendance at work has been inconsistant.My financial afairs are in disaray. And I feel I am just about keeping an illusion of soacial inclusion by the skin of my teeth. 5 years ago I managed to abstain for nearly 2 years but of late I have strugled to get any lengthy sobriety under way. I have been sober now since monday . I work as a psychiatric nurse in a forensic setting which means I have to do random shifts which at times can be stressfull and do not enable me to have a regular AA home group.
Trying to quit for the first time
Hello, my name is Alexander. I'm 18 years old and I've been drinking since I was 15, heavily for the past 2 years. I've felt lost for a long time and I took to drinking nightly because of it, I almost never drink during daytime unless I'm under a great deal of emotional stress, but binge drinking as soon as the sun goes down and I'm set for the day is a must.
I'm very skillful at hiding my problem from everybody who surrounds me, though some of my friends have their suspicions and convictions because I drink like the devil when we're all out together, but the thing is, I want to stop.
I don't plan on living for very long, so this isn't about fear of the physical repercussions, though I'm perfectly aware of all the consequences. Though I crave the alcohol, I don't crave the emotional status it carries alongside, I want to, I need to stop drinking in order to feel like its worth pushing through the days and nights.
I just found these forums and I want to hear from other people who have gone through the same or similar experiences and have dealt with their drinking problems.
I don't know how to go around this, what I need to hear from you guys or anything so feel free to ask anything you want, I want to be sincere here and find a way to work things out.
I'm very skillful at hiding my problem from everybody who surrounds me, though some of my friends have their suspicions and convictions because I drink like the devil when we're all out together, but the thing is, I want to stop.
I don't plan on living for very long, so this isn't about fear of the physical repercussions, though I'm perfectly aware of all the consequences. Though I crave the alcohol, I don't crave the emotional status it carries alongside, I want to, I need to stop drinking in order to feel like its worth pushing through the days and nights.
I just found these forums and I want to hear from other people who have gone through the same or similar experiences and have dealt with their drinking problems.
I don't know how to go around this, what I need to hear from you guys or anything so feel free to ask anything you want, I want to be sincere here and find a way to work things out.
