Drug Rehab Options Blog

staying sober has been easy and I thought I was doing good controlling my moods and I've been maintaining my weight, but I'm having more swings and more anxiety which causes me to hear voices and see things. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind. Wish I could catch a break and slid on by with some ease.

just frustrated and venting thanks for listening

well- carol steered me to the site where i need to look at stopping cold- to refresh- i have been drinking and had a bout with drugs 10 or so yrs ago(havent touched the coke and whatever for 15 yrs) - anyway drinking for 25+ yrs- but i am taking clonazapam drs orders for a year- well i am not sure how to do this- i think i will taper?? would really like to not die. i hate the drinking- and the drs rx helps (history of bipolar in my fam but im not). anyway - weird converstation. but i hate driniking. its does nothing good for me. i must be complicated

Ok, I am bipolar and I rapid cycle BAD...depression for me is sometimes a couple times a day and lasts maybe 30 mins., most the time I stay agitated, very agitated. I am also an alcoholic. I go in on the 30th for an alcohol and drug assessment. I dunno what will happen from there, I am guessing detox and then on to rehab. The soonest my counselor could get me into see the pdoc was Feb. 4th....how am I suppose to deal with everything while my moods are all over the place??!?!?!?!?!?!

This morning was rough. Now I am just trying to relax and focus.

I'm more of a lurker than participant but I feel compelled to share some of my thoughts today. I am a huge believer in gratitude lists. I can sit down and write out the things I am grateful for and somehow it always seems to help. My lists are fairly easy when things are going well, but it's those I struggle to write when I'm not full of sunshine that help the most. Right now is one of those times. I may have some problems today, but all it takes is a minute to remind myself of how my life has improved in the past two years of being sober and back on my meds to be very grateful. Two years ago I was a die-hard junkie - jobless, homeless and broke. I spent six months in a wonderful treatment center and today I have a car, a job, a place to live, tons of support in AA, my rediscovered family and a fantastic psychiatrist!

Fear and a feeling of hopelessness come around once in a while, but all I have to do is remind myself of how far I've come. Works every time!

Happy Holidays!

My husband and I separated a month and a half ago. It was an ugly mess at the time. He was binge drinking and making my life a living hell. He was living life so wrecklessly that I had to make him choose. It was his family or his bottle. Well, he chose the bottlte and it wasn't any surprise. I knew that it would happen that way. I guess it made it more bearable knowing that he chose his own path. He moved in with his mother and for quite some time he didn't call or contact us. It was a little painful at first but it got easier to handle. He started calling at odd hours...like 2:00 in the morning! He would call me a few choice words and hang up. You know...my heart began to feel nothing. I stopped crying silently in the shower. I told him years ago to stop calling me names and acting like such an idiot that eventually I wouldn't love him the same way anymore. Well, it happened and when the chill hit him his attitude changed towards me. But now I know its too late. Now, he's a wreck. He cries and says that without his family he's nothing, he wants to die, etc. I care for him and don't want anything to happen to him. I believe that he's sincere in his threats. He's bipolar without meds and a heavy drinker. I told him last night that I thought that was a silly thing to say because even without me he still has his children. He hung up in my face.I know that this is another game to make me feel like crap so I'll cave but it really is bothering me today. Help me put this in perspective please.

So it's been a month and a half since my spouse and I split up. I've never lived on my own and this has been good for me as I explore new and healthy ways of living.

Thing is as i've become more healthy from bipolar anorexia and drinking my spouse has been so supportive and loving. It's a good thing in someways but I'm worried I'll get sucked back in and return to a sick relationship that we where living for the past ten years.

I know I need to live on my own and continue to doing healthy things, and not let my heart get in the way. I think I will always love the caring man that I married but I need to remember that living with him will lead to an unhealthy me.

Anyone else have a relationship like this?

I'm asking this in the Secular Friends section because I'm just not up for a holier than thou response. In fact, smart@$$ sarcasm would be great right about now.

If my wife is being stubborn, unreasonable, making false accusations against me, claiming to be remembering things from 20 years ago with perfect clarity when I remember them completely differently which makes me wrong (of course), is most likely bipolar according to both of us but refuses to go get diagnosed, in fact refuses to give a damn about pretty much everything ... what do I buy her for Christmas?

Go ahead, make me laugh. I need a break from being bummed about all this for a minute.
Channel Sam Kinison if you have to.

Actually, I'm not entirely sure how the name is spelt because I've lost the outer packaging, however, you should know what medication I'm refering to if you have taken it.

...have you ever taken it?

I was perscribed it last week by my doctor and (at the moment) I think it's rather useless! All it has done is make me sleep a LOT and given me palpitations when I've awakened.

I'm still feeling pretty hypomanic. It's a real problem because I'm a recovering cocaine addict and people can't tell the difference. Also, any mood swing either side even slightly puts me in the frame of mind to start using again.

My doctor says I should continue with my medication but I was wondering if anyone had any personal experience?

Hi Everyone.
I tried posting in the "Relationship: forum but didnt get much of a response, so now I am trying here

She: 28 years old, Diagnosed Bipolar, PTSD, Childhood sexual abuse, alcoholic drug addict, approximately 8 months sober today.

Me: 36 years old, no drugs, not an alcoholic, very successful

My girlfriend and I have been living together for two years. Over the course of those two years she has moved out 4 times. Three of those times she was active in her addiction (alcohol/meth). This most recent move out occured at around her 7 month sobriety date. Each of her "move outs" seemed final to me as they included removing everything from the house and filing a forwarding address immediately. Usually within 2 weeks she would come around because she forgot some trivial item. And when she did come around it would lead to sex and then she was moving back in within 5 days.

So this most recent "move out" happened about 6 weeks ago so this is the longest she has ever stayed away. It is also coincidentally the longest she has ever stayed sober (7-8 months). The first 2 weeks she called several times about some trivial items. I never called her. In one brief dicussion I asked her if she was seeing someone. She responded saying "no, my sponsor says no relationships". At around the three week mark she called me and asked if I was available to meet to have a "talk". I agreed, we met and she really just talked about her current problems with her "new life". She cried a lot and said she didnt have a job, couldnt pay for rent, was behind on her phone bill and further stated that its really hard when you lose your mate (me). She then said she was determined though to try to make it on her own. She wants to build self esteem and not be dependent on someone. Before she left she asked for a hug and said there are other things she would like to do with me (physical intimacy) but cant because she has an addiction problem. She also told me that she loves me. She then said I will call you when she left. Not the casual "hey Ill call you sometime" but more the sincere and heartfelt "Ill call you soon". That was 4 weeks ago and I have not heard one word since.

She has a strong program and a strong home group. She finally has a sponsor that she likes and respects. Her sponsor says "no reltionships". This "no relationship" thing came up after my girlfriend moved out so its not like the sponsor told her to terminate the relationship.

I never call her or pursue her as I do not want to disrupt what I interpret to be her space. I figure she will let me know when the time is right.

I really miss her but I am wondering should I be letting go?

Does this idea of "no intimate relationships in the first year" apply to existing relationships or only brand new relationships?

If in fact "no intimate realtionships in first year" applies does that mean no contact at all with someone that you have been or could be intimate with? I mean is it a complete cutoff all together?

I am so angry, hurt, betrayed. But I dont know why!!! I ended it with my ABF recently. Aside from being an alcoholic, drug addict and liar he is also bipolar and refuses to take meds or do anything to help himself. He got out of jail at the end of November - and is facing probably 3 years in jail for numerous alcohol/driving on a revoked license related offenses, including an accident that injured all 3 people in the uninsured car he was illegally driving while drunk. While in jail he sent me letters saying how he intended to change, how much he loved me and wanted a clean life with me, how he was ready to do whatever it took to get himself together - treatment, counseling, meds, etc. We've been through a lot together and I told him I'd help him and be supportive of his good decisions. Well of course he did nothing he said he'd do and did everything he said he wouldn't. He stayed with me for 2 nights and then left so he could go drink with his scary criminal friends. I quickly had enough and just.... turned my back. He is impossible to communicate with, mean, demanding, and the lies!!! I cant believe a word he says. So he is officially homeless, was sleeping in his storage unit. He says I kicked him out and turned my back on him.

Well now hes in Denver staying with some woman. His parents - who have had it too and I had a good relationship with - are going down there for his birthday and to meet his new 'friend'. I guess I'm just floored that he has moved on so quickly - instead of working on himself for US like he said, he just went and found someone new - probably someone who he can take advantage of since he now has nothing.

I tried so hard to be supportive, and help him. I wanted things to work but he made it impossible. Why do I care??? FYI - when we met he was clean & sober for over 2 years, and things were wonderful. But they went downhill quickly due to his bipolar disorder. I miss the guy I met, want him back, but figure hes gone forever.

Thanks for reading.