Drug Rehab Options Blog

I have been sponsoring a guy for the first time, he is only a couple years younger than me, but is already very progressed alcoholic. He has struggled hard with crystal meth, narcotics, and chronic drinking. I mean, drinking Listerine when he runs out of booze, getting into blackouts every time... He recently relapsed and was on a a 3 day bender, culminating in him getting arrested last night for stealing booze at a booze store (which he doesn't remember), and being released today. To top it all off, he has very enabling parents who refuse to kick him out of the house, and a girlfriend who I see as a classic enabler (her dad was an alcoholic, her sister married an alcoholic...) and is supporting him by not leaving him despite his relapses (not to mention that she is trying to stay sober herself using the "marijuana maintenance" program).

He says he wants to do what he is told. IE, go to as many meetings as possible, read his books, do the steps, etc. ...but I think he is just going to relapse again. He has been in long term treatment, short term treatment, taken the religious route etc. but I suspect that as long as his parents and this girl are taking care of him, he will continue until he is in jail permanently.

I am considering just telling him that I can't sponsor him, and he needs to talk to an old timer who has the teeth to let him have it. I have my own problems and don't think I have the years of experience needed to sponsor someone like this. I am thinking that if he relapses again after this I will just tell him to get a new sponsor because I can't be close to someone who is not doing what they are supposed to. For my own sanity and spiritual safety, I can't be close to anyone who isn't doing things 100% because I am still in the shaky years of my sobriety.

Any advice?

Today is my first day of being sober in a long time. No its not a New Years resolution, I'm tired of shakes, blackouts and not being me. My poison is vodka. Any support is so appreciated.
Peace and Love to you all.:nyaf:nyaf

I have had extensive problems with drugs and alcohol. My alcoholic drinking began as a substitute for drugs. I then went back to drugs and combined daily drug use and drinking for years. Then for the last year or so, I only drank alcohol, but I had constant blackouts, and my life was pure hell. This is why I eventually came to 12 step meetings. I have gone just about solely to AA for the last 3.5 years, but have gone to NA on the rare occasion. I went tonight, and I noticed while listening to one guy share that I really identified with his story. I sometimes find that some of my AA friends don't identify with my experiences in the past, that have shaped the sober reality I am in now. Most AA people I know came into meetings at age 40+, but many NA people I have met came in much earlier because the devastation to their lives happened faster (I am 25). The thing is I have never really felt like using drugs in the entire time I have been sober, it's been the obsession to drink that I've struggled with for years in sobriety. Anyone else face these questions themselves?

First Day - First Post.

I know this is a familiar thread, but it is my story.

I have been wrestling with my drinking since I was 15, when my mom dropped me off at the hospital in our small town to attend an AA Meeting.

I am now 45. I don't have a horrible bottom story, but I'm so tired of the self-loathing and the blackouts. My blackouts are coming on at lower and lower doses.

Like many of you, I had a childhood riddled with lots of reasons for why I drink, butI don't harbor resentment. I'm not even an angry guy. I'm just disappointed I let myself get to where I have have so many days where they start out so negative.

I am my worst critic, as I am sure many of you are too. The hangovers hurt more than ever, the guilt from driving home from the bar, the doctors telling me my various "numbers" could be caused from my drinking, and those blackouts have all brought me to the point where I am here.

I'm taking full responsibility for my actions. I own this situation and I don't blame anyone else for who I've become.

I have such high expectations of myself and every day I drink, which is (was) just about everyday I wake up telling myself this has to stop. I'm single, never had kids, no brothers or sisters, and only have my mother left - so my list of people to disappoint is small.

I have a history of "periods of sobriety" from one day to two years (in the early 90s). In 2006 I made it 6 months, including a trip on the scoot to Sturgis.

I'm not in any kind of denial, or trying any alcoholic tricks anymore on "managing" it myself.

However, something seems different this time. I'm older, wiser and have a lot more too lose these days. So I think I am telling you guys and myself the truth this time. Time will tell of course.

I have to start somewhere - so I am starting here today with you all.

I am a huge fan of the forum environment and this one is loaded with diversity and experience. As a former journalist/broadcaster/photographer for the Navy, I find it easy to write what's inside my head, even though it may not always be so easy for you guys to read.

I will make it through today - that I feel good about.

I'm a great guy, with a very fortunate life - it's time I start appreciating myself and putting more joy into it. I know what to do and how to do it - I just need to start doing it now.

Thank you all for being here.

Hi everyone,

I just wanted to thank everyone for helping me through a rough time last night. I didn't drink. I'm still sober, thanks to all my on-line friends and f2f friends at the meeting last night.

My sponser wanted me to pull out my paper i wrote when I was around 3 months sober. It saved my life. It actually made me want to cry reading it. It's scary reading all the things that could happen to me and will happen to me if i pick up again. I haven't read that paper in a few months so it really opened my eyes last night. Thank god my head is on a little tighter today.

Here's what i wrote 6 months ago:

Thinking the Drink Through

IÂ’m writing all this down so I can remember where I came from, and most especially to help me when IÂ’m having a really bad day and feeling squirrely. If I was to pick up tonight this is what the consequences would be, or could be.
It would start out all right and I would be happy, happy for a little bit; but by the time I went to bed I would be crying my eyes out that it started all over again. I would have all those feelings of remorse, embarrassment, shame, depression, and rage at myself all over again.
I would be back drinking everyday within a day or two. I wouldnÂ’t be able to stop. I would be back drinking before dinner every day and drinking at night before I went to bed. I would be back drinking my 5 or 6 everyday and more on the weekends. If I stayed out my tolerance would increase more. I could end up drinking a bottle a day and not worrying about measuring out each shot in my drinks.
My blackouts could also have gotten worse than they were. I could end up doing something really stupid like leaving the house and getting myself hurt, or in trouble; instead of little blackouts like not remembering when I went to bed. Sometimes I couldnÂ’t remember smoking my cigarettes when I drank and that could of gotten worse like setting my house on fire.
Even if none of those worse case scenarios didnÂ’t happen, it doesnÂ’t mean they could of; what most defiantly will happen if I drank again and the reason I came to AA in the first place was my own personal prison. When I drank, I didnÂ’t want to go anywhere, do anything, or even leave the house. I didnÂ’t take care of myself and and want to bath or brush my teeth. I didnÂ’t even eat enough at the end of my drinking before returning to AA. I always slept the day away and didnÂ’t get up until at least 1:00 every day. I stopped doing things I love to do like my crafts and my writing. I didnÂ’t want to go out fishing or to dinner with my husband or enjoy life. I was just existing.
I have to remember all these things if I want to live. I have to learn how to fight my fears, and all my anger in life with the help of AA if I want to survive.


Again thank you everyone.
Barb

I am hitting two weeks on Monday. My first post was 3 days and I still lived and breathed thoughts of alcohol. For those that don't know, I'm in an oilfield camp in Canada for three weeks. It's an alcohol free camp. They make them that way for two reasons in case your curious. First off is that they want no excuses as to poor work quality in the day. Secondly, we have no security, and everyone needs to be an adult without fights, and mayhem.

Anyways, I have no thoughts of alcohol at all, ever. I don't even care if someone drinks on TV, or the movies.My first few days of this journey and all I thought about was the whole world drinking but me. You know what, that just isn't true. Millions don't believe in alcohol. Athletes don't drink, for one. My last night drinking, and I knew it was my last night. I had no interest in a farewell to a good friend on the last night. I wanted to hate booze. I wanted to curse alcohol. I never did throw up, but oh boy a few blackouts, a walk home in the rain from a bar. I messed up my shoulder from a fall, bruised my leg really bad, and scratched my nose bad. My wife said she went looking in the car around 2 am, and found me with a friend, all bloodied up, wet, and out of it. I don't remember anything, but I do remember what a nasty day I had that day. Social drinkers get hangovers, and they are childs play to what we drunks call withdrawal symptoms. I had a fever, sweats, nausea, dry heaves, hot flashes, twitches, and the shakes. Oh what a glorious day, but you know what. I never said goodbye to an old friend that day. I cursed alcohol as a new sworn enemy for what it did to me, and the last 7 years. All the times I wanted to go play golf, but I let it win and I drank on hot sunny days in the early afternoon. How about all the times my wife begged me to see a movie at the theatre, and I had a thousand excuses, but the only real reason was that it cut into drinking time. I could go on and on.

I am just so thankful that I only had one crappy day, and no withdrawal symptoms. I read about the torture, the drugs for it, and everything else. I have no cravings at all, nor any withdrawal. I know that I am done with booze. I know this because every other time, I had one drink and thought I was in control. I was going to be a moderation drinker. I finally realized, it's NOT EVEN 1. I can't say it enough to anyone who thinks they have it under control now. NOT EVEN 1!!!!

I have a confession though. I am eating strawberries, watermelon, melon, grapes, and kiwi every morning for breakfast. I have no simple carbohydrates like breads, or pasta, at all. I eat very low fat, high protein meats, with salads and no dressings. I am hitting the weights in the gym a lot, and doing a lot of cardio. Then nighttime comes and I just can't help myself, I had cheesecake yesterday(cherry, and thick cheesecake, not that wimpy fluffy stuff). Today, I had apple pie. Yah, I know, nice diet huh. Temple by day, and amusement park by night. That's it, no more treats until next weekend. I heard that alcohol was a craving for sugar. No alcohol, craving pastry, maybe it's true. That Susan, exercise freak(California, USA) wrote a book on alcohol being a sugar craving, didn't she.

So, what is the deal on me not wanting booze in the slightest, and no withdrawal. I drank a 26 oz, or 750 ml of vodka everyday, usually with 5-10 beer. How can I be feeling so good after 1 day of hell when I hear so many horror stories??? Sobriety just came so easy for me, maybe I just finally hit my low of lows. All I know is that I am so excited to kick that beast, and begin to live again. :Dance7:

Well, here I am in the Canadian oilfields of the North, sober 1 week. I have played this game before, but I always found a way to sneak booze up here before. This time, I decided I was going 3 weeks sober no matter what. So, I passed every liquor store and got on the single engine bush plane and here I am. I have played this game before, but three weeks truly dry has never been done before. My last three weeker was close enough to a small town that we went to a restaurant one night, and a night club a week later. Other times, I may have gone ten days, but always returned with the intention of becoming a social drinker. That was like a staight 45 degree line graph. A little the first night, a bottle the next, then a bottle and a bit, etc.. I found this website by luck last week, and reading the stories makes me say Holy s@#$!!! I have done that, and that, and that. Yes, you all never got a DUI, well I did last May and I was blacked out when I was offered a lawyer. I have to go to trial this May, and I can't even afford the $7000 the lawyer wants to call in an "expect" to discuss the reality of blackouts. I mentioned my knowledge and ability to get literature, but apparently it has to be a special person with the rubber stamp who is the professional on this. I almost lost my wife(well I still might, she is at the end now), I left the house multiple times with a friend behind my wife's back to go to the bar, blacked out quite often in the last few months, pee the bed on really bad nights. I have cancelled appointments from hangovers, and even missed an important exam because I was supposed to get up at 8 AM at the hotel I was staying at, but you guessed it, still friggen spinning from the hotel bar where I was supposed to have 1 beer and go to bed. During this whole s@#$show of a life, I couldn't see the forest through the trees. I was in complete denial about having a problem, or being a full blown alcoholic. I have no chances left here. I am going home to stay sober or my wife is leaving PERIOD!! No more chances, sorry's or oops. I am also starting a new career in the city which I must be on call all the time. If I drink, I lose my new job, wife, house, and half of everything, and my 3 labrador retreivers. In a way, will power isn't even something to worry about. Ever listen to the country song"alcohol" .I heard it the other day, but never appreciated just how crappy he thinks drinking is. I always listened to it while drinking and thought, yeehaa!! he's drinkin', i'm drinkin', alcohol is cool. Yah right dummy, listen again. I did and I misunderstand what he was saying. He thinks alcohol is a life wrecker.
What felt really crappy was two weeks ago I had a nasty no drinking, shakes, dry heaves, hot flash, sweats, bad day. I didn't drink that day, and the next day I had to go to a medical for this new career. I fill out this questionnaire, and then go in this room. First thing he does is grope my personal goods(that trauma is another story). Then he wants to talk about alcohol consumption. "how many times a week" hmm maybe twice "more than 3" nope "ever more than 5" oh maybe Christmas, New Years, and a few times this Summer. "OK, sounds good, let's move on to something else"


What a load of crap, more like this " how many times a week" everyday, unless I have something darn close to DT's "more than 5" yep, usually a 26oz of vodka(that's 750ml for my metric friends), then I might move onto beer(Canadian beer, real beer by the way)

Can you imagine his jaw drop. Not only would I not have gotten the job, but he would have gone from examiner to doctor mode RIGHT NOW!!!

Anyways, it's 12 AM (-7) and I am bored. TV is rotten up here, and I have seen all my movies.
The point of all this was, I am shocked that every stupid thing I did drunk was just what everyone else has been doing. I can't say it works for everyone, but if you can go cold turkey and go somewhere for a month, your cravings go away really quick.

I also get absolutely no withdrawal symptoms either, so maybe it isn't a safe idea for other people. Why don't I get withdrawal from alcohol like others??? I have been drinking hard for 7 years, and only ever get day 1 issues. On day 2, I feel like an athlete and usually hit the gym pretty hard whistling a tune.

I'm 49, happily married with 3 kids, good health, good job, but I'm increasingly concerned about how much I drink. About 6 nights a week I drink one and a half bottles of red wine (My wife drinks the remaining half) between 5:30pm and 9:30pm. This is about 80 units a week!

I've been doing this for the last 15 years and I'm worried about possible long-term damage, though a recent comprehensive medical showed none so far.

I don't have blackouts, or DUI, I never get aggressive or miss work - in fact wife and kids think I'm happier on the wine! I guess I do kind of organise my evenings around drinking - we rarely go out - instead we cook at home.

I'm currently on day 7 of a self-imposed 28 day alcohol break. Surprisingly, I've had no withdrawals except weird dreams and early waking for the first 4 days and I even seem to be enjoying feeling clear-headed. But the thought of giving up drinking forever is a daunting one.

I'm confident I'll finish my 28 day abstinence OK, but what then? I'm kind of an all-or-nothing peson, so I guess it would be back to the almost everyday drinking or total cessation.

I've been skulking around the forum for a week or so and registered today. What do you guys think? :wtf2

For privacy sake, I won't say much about my past, but I will say that I have a degree in Bio-Chem. Many of you appear to have questions about your alcoholism, relapses, and blackouts.

Alcoholism-heavy drinking promotes increases of CRF(corticotropin releasing factor) and decreases dopomine.This causes a chemical imbalance, stress, and depression. This imbalance triggers your brain to try to think alcohol will fix the imbalance. You know how some people get an allergic reaction and your body responds with histamines because it thinks that will fix the reaction, but it actually makes you worse. It's kinda the same thing, your body is basically trying to do something to obtain balance, but it's wrong!! I hope that helps you a bit.


Blackouts- simply put, the hippocampus in your brain is responsible for memory formation. Heavy,mostly fast intakes of alcohol leads to non-firing of CA1 pyramidal neurons in the hippocampus. If these neurons stop firing, then you make no new memories. This is why you can still walk and talk, but have no memory. You cerebrum regulates your ability to walk and talk, but without the hippocampus, you won't remember anything until you alcohol levels recede.



I hope this helps all you who wonder if your blackouts are normal as an alcoholic. By the way, if you are one of those puzzle piece memory people, the condition is called( alcohol induced fragmentary blackout)


P.S. I had to go find my textbooks to get this info, it wasn't just something I remembered, but I'm sure the internet could tell you the same stuff


One more note: Blackouts, usually mean you are in the advanced stages of alcoholism, so if you are blacking out, you could be in trouble with liver shut down, pancreas, kidney, and brain damage.

I started blacking out, and I now know my alcoholism has to stop immediately.

Hi friends...So recently I have been talking with various friends of mine about my journey through sobriety( just hit two month mark ) and talking alot about my past drinking habits..mostly the fact that I was a blackout drinker..for me my blackouts usually kinda faded in and out throughout the evening...I would remember up until a point then my memory of what happened there after would be a fuzzy timeline of events..puzzle pieces missing...My biggest motivation to stop drinking was the blackouts and the innevitable overwhelming anxiety and fear of those missing pieces...since talking with some friends however, I have learned that 90% of the time I would drink around them and have my blackouts...(regardless of my allways waking up feeling fearfull and guilty)-they claim that that 90% of the time I never acted innaporpriately or embarassed myself...granted there have been plenty of times I have over the course of my six year drinking career..but why is it that if they said I rarely did any of that outlandish behavior, why did I always continue to awake the next day feeling guilty and horrified....Are everyones blackouts different? Do most of you blackout drinkers just hit that blackout point and not remember anything at all or are you like me and you have fuzzy puzzle piece memories? And in turn, I guess my question is with those fuzzy "missing" puzzle piece memories I had, did I really have anything to be anxious and fearfull about or were those fuzzy moments truly just boring somewhat forgettable memories because nothing really ever happened like my friends have told me? I just cant seem to get over my constant over annalyzation of all the times I kinda sorta allways blacked out..its so intruiging to me and yet so baffling and frustrating to me..I just always assumed that since I didnt quite recal in bright full colored picture the course of evenings events, it was because I must have just been so horrible I blocked only those horrific moments out, only to phase back into memory to recall my sitting on the couch falling asleep to a movie..its so strange..I dont even know if this will make sense to anyone but if anyone knows what I am talking about or can share their experiences or wisdom on blacking out PLEASE HELP :) :) I must sound crazy... AHHH