Archive for the ‘Blogs’ tag
Four days, confused and heart-broken
Hello all,
I have four days today after a long battle with resisting the first drink. I have been to treatment three times and in and out of A.A. halls for the last two years and in that time have never been able to get more than thirty days together. I don't know what I'm not doing, but it sure feels like something is missing. But then again, I haven't been very diligent in trying to find a sponsor. I have been going to meetings, reading the big book daily and reading tons of wonderful recovery-based blogs but something doesn't feel right. I have managed to stay sober longer on my own without going to meetings than when I do go to meetings. So I wonder if A.A. is right for me, yet I always end up in a meeting after a bender, getting her 24 hour coin for the millionth time.
I'm also having a hard time with some major wreckage that I did during my last binge. I was seeing a very sweet guy earlier this year who put up with alot of my drunken crap, I'm still amazed at how large his reserves of patience were. He saw me go into treatment and was very supportive of that, but then when I drank again and he gave me the boot.
We recently started talking again and agreed to see each other on my birthday last week, but I really screwed that one up too. He never called me for some reason and so I got mad, and used it as an excuse to get all good and wasted and called him twenty-billion times and screamed at him on his voicemail. Needless to say, he wants NOTHING to do with me now. And it breaks my heart. I know that he is the last person I should be thinking of, but I wonder if anyone has any advice or experience on how to get over someone in early recovery because it usually takes me a very long time by myself, and usually I drink over it.
Thanks in advance,
Dita
I have four days today after a long battle with resisting the first drink. I have been to treatment three times and in and out of A.A. halls for the last two years and in that time have never been able to get more than thirty days together. I don't know what I'm not doing, but it sure feels like something is missing. But then again, I haven't been very diligent in trying to find a sponsor. I have been going to meetings, reading the big book daily and reading tons of wonderful recovery-based blogs but something doesn't feel right. I have managed to stay sober longer on my own without going to meetings than when I do go to meetings. So I wonder if A.A. is right for me, yet I always end up in a meeting after a bender, getting her 24 hour coin for the millionth time.
I'm also having a hard time with some major wreckage that I did during my last binge. I was seeing a very sweet guy earlier this year who put up with alot of my drunken crap, I'm still amazed at how large his reserves of patience were. He saw me go into treatment and was very supportive of that, but then when I drank again and he gave me the boot.
We recently started talking again and agreed to see each other on my birthday last week, but I really screwed that one up too. He never called me for some reason and so I got mad, and used it as an excuse to get all good and wasted and called him twenty-billion times and screamed at him on his voicemail. Needless to say, he wants NOTHING to do with me now. And it breaks my heart. I know that he is the last person I should be thinking of, but I wonder if anyone has any advice or experience on how to get over someone in early recovery because it usually takes me a very long time by myself, and usually I drink over it.
Thanks in advance,
Dita
Time to change
I had a big long waffly introduction entry, but I've deleted because I found the blogs instead :)
But I'll still leave this thread here to say hi. After drinking by myself last night, waking up, throwing up, wading through the internet with a terrible headache, I decided enough is enough. Its time to stop living this life and to sort myself out. Hopefully being somewhere like this will help keep my accountable and keep me sober. Its a nice environment here, you all seem very supportive to eachother.
Anyway, so....
:c009:
But I'll still leave this thread here to say hi. After drinking by myself last night, waking up, throwing up, wading through the internet with a terrible headache, I decided enough is enough. Its time to stop living this life and to sort myself out. Hopefully being somewhere like this will help keep my accountable and keep me sober. Its a nice environment here, you all seem very supportive to eachother.
Anyway, so....
:c009:
Welcome newcomers, and to all that have been here
For anyone coming and checking this place out, and for all the wonderful bloggers. Thank you Thank you. I am now 10 days sober, and even though I keep getting LIFE thrown at me I am sober today. If it was not for all of the support I get from here and my AA meetings I would surely be drinking. I keep getting stuff thrown at me which is very hard for me to handle, probably because I have very little coping skills, which I am sure comes with the territory of being an alcoholic. I know for me, I have a hard time with life struggles, I drank them away, and to deal being straight is very new to me and not particularly easy, easy is to get drunk. Well seemed that drinking was the easy thing to do til it took over my mind and soul.
To read the blogs of happy events or the struggles of staying sober, I feel such a connection. When I have blogged about stuff I am going through I have gotten so many responses of support and help. I feel not alone! :ghug3
Thanks to all of you, I am staying Sober, ONE DAY/or Minute AT A TIME.
God bless you all, I will keep coming back..to get support and to give back to you all I have to offer. Love to all :ghug2
To read the blogs of happy events or the struggles of staying sober, I feel such a connection. When I have blogged about stuff I am going through I have gotten so many responses of support and help. I feel not alone! :ghug3
Thanks to all of you, I am staying Sober, ONE DAY/or Minute AT A TIME.
God bless you all, I will keep coming back..to get support and to give back to you all I have to offer. Love to all :ghug2
Does it get better?
Hello. I've just signed up and here I am. I am the wife of an alcoholic and I've just today begun to realize that I am powerless over alcoholic and that MY life has become unmanagable.
Guess I always thought it was his problem. And suddenly I am having this realization that I am sick too. Which, of course, means I'm probably infecting my children with it as well! Ugh!
My husband is an active alcoholic. He is 41 and always been a drinker but in the last year it has spun completely out of control. He has admitted (not to me) that he knows it's a problem, but is convinced he can get it under control.
I am angry (SO angry) and hurt and guilt-ridden and tired and...
Just want to get healthy! Went to my second Al-anon meeting this week. I see that this will be the key to MY recovery and that I can in turn be a better mother to my children, a better friend, a better sister and a happier person.
Nothing more to say. Just kinda want to put it all out there. Been reading lots of blogs on this site and so many have been helpful to me. I am hopeful that things will get better - they do don't they?
Thanks,
Babs
Guess I always thought it was his problem. And suddenly I am having this realization that I am sick too. Which, of course, means I'm probably infecting my children with it as well! Ugh!
My husband is an active alcoholic. He is 41 and always been a drinker but in the last year it has spun completely out of control. He has admitted (not to me) that he knows it's a problem, but is convinced he can get it under control.
I am angry (SO angry) and hurt and guilt-ridden and tired and...
Just want to get healthy! Went to my second Al-anon meeting this week. I see that this will be the key to MY recovery and that I can in turn be a better mother to my children, a better friend, a better sister and a happier person.
Nothing more to say. Just kinda want to put it all out there. Been reading lots of blogs on this site and so many have been helpful to me. I am hopeful that things will get better - they do don't they?
Thanks,
Babs
