Archive for the ‘Blood Pressure’ tag
All was going along well and then*&%$
I am almost at a loss for words. As some of you may remember the h--- AH put me through. Well, he is still in prison, up for parole Jan. 13 and should be out shortly after that.He went through 6 months of extensive rehab in prison and seemed to be doing well. Sounded good, had a positive attitude.
Well, he said he has heard nor written anyone but now I have my doubts. Neighbor just called and ran into one of his druggie friends who informed her that AH will be home by mid Feb. There is NO WAY this person would know this without being in contact with him.
AH will call tomorrow and I am wondering whether to confront him or just tell him to find another place to parole out to. He knows gram passed away and there is money coming-but it is in trust and he cannot get his hands on it.
My darn blood pressure has sky rocketed and has not done that in over a yr. I AM UPSET!!!!!!
Any suggestions?????
Well, he said he has heard nor written anyone but now I have my doubts. Neighbor just called and ran into one of his druggie friends who informed her that AH will be home by mid Feb. There is NO WAY this person would know this without being in contact with him.
AH will call tomorrow and I am wondering whether to confront him or just tell him to find another place to parole out to. He knows gram passed away and there is money coming-but it is in trust and he cannot get his hands on it.
My darn blood pressure has sky rocketed and has not done that in over a yr. I AM UPSET!!!!!!
Any suggestions?????
GENERAL EFFECTS OF DRUG ABUSE
General effects of drug abuse consists of many side effects on the individual, the effect on family and the effect on surroundings, work and the general public.
The effects that drug abusers are exposed to differs from a lot of physical distractions like increased heart rate, increase in blood pressure, heavy breathing, lethargy, excessive sweating, etc., [...]
Worry & Anxiety
I recently received this in an email and wanted to share it with you here:
Unraveling Worry From Our Life
Philippians 4:8-9
People fret over all kinds of issues, from safety and job security to election results. For many folks--and maybe you are one--anxiety is woven so tightly into the fabric of their day that they've learned to live with it.
We treat worry like a benign emotion when in fact it can actually be harmful. Anxiety clouds our thinking, divides our focus, and robs us of concentration. To complicate matters, the body can react to prolonged pressure on the psyche. Stress can manifest physically through tension headaches, elevated blood pressure, and even heart attacks.
Drifting through a mentally and physically exhausting life is not the Lord's plan for us. Our challenge is to take captive anxious thoughts (2 Cor. 10:5) and replace them with God-pleasing ones--dwelling on that which is pure, good, and right.
The best way to remove stray threads of worry is to crowd them out with something positive: weave Scripture into your mental grid instead. God has something to say about everything that concerns us. Feeling weak or under-qualified? "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13). Afraid your paycheck won't cover this month's rent, clothes, and food? "Do not worry . . . for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things" (Matt. 6:31-32).
Jesus said worry adds nothing to our life (Matt. 6:27). In fact, we waste time and energy dwelling on concerns instead of affirming our trust in the Lord. We must choose to set our minds upon Him before anxiety leaves us feeling frayed.
Dr. Charles Stanley
Unraveling Worry From Our Life
Philippians 4:8-9
People fret over all kinds of issues, from safety and job security to election results. For many folks--and maybe you are one--anxiety is woven so tightly into the fabric of their day that they've learned to live with it.
We treat worry like a benign emotion when in fact it can actually be harmful. Anxiety clouds our thinking, divides our focus, and robs us of concentration. To complicate matters, the body can react to prolonged pressure on the psyche. Stress can manifest physically through tension headaches, elevated blood pressure, and even heart attacks.
Drifting through a mentally and physically exhausting life is not the Lord's plan for us. Our challenge is to take captive anxious thoughts (2 Cor. 10:5) and replace them with God-pleasing ones--dwelling on that which is pure, good, and right.
The best way to remove stray threads of worry is to crowd them out with something positive: weave Scripture into your mental grid instead. God has something to say about everything that concerns us. Feeling weak or under-qualified? "I can do all things through Him who strengthens me" (Phil. 4:13). Afraid your paycheck won't cover this month's rent, clothes, and food? "Do not worry . . . for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things" (Matt. 6:31-32).
Jesus said worry adds nothing to our life (Matt. 6:27). In fact, we waste time and energy dwelling on concerns instead of affirming our trust in the Lord. We must choose to set our minds upon Him before anxiety leaves us feeling frayed.
Dr. Charles Stanley
Some battles are just not worth fighting.
Some battles are just not worth fighting.
Yours truly hasn't been feeling too good. My condition has continued to deteriorate, which is the normal progression of this disease. Neuro wanted to run some tests to see exactly where I'm at. Nothing fancy, just bloodwork and a EMG, standard tests for neuropathy. The EMG would show if the "small fiber neuropathy" that I have has spread into "large fiber". Neuropathy always spreads, there's no way to stop it.
Diabetics commonly get the large fiber type. It damages the sensory nerves and blood flow in the extremeties. Starting at the toes and moving up the legs. With early detection, rigid diet and plenty anti-inflamatories most diabetics can get by without too much trouble and eventually die of old age. A few unlucky ones will have it spread into the small fiber type late in life.
The type I have is small fiber. That affects the autonomic nerves, usually starting with the control of breathing, blood pressure and heart rate. Most of us don't live long enough to have it spread anywhere else. When it does spread it goes up into the throat and head, as well as down into the stomach and intestines. That's what the tests were for, to see where it's spread.
Doc called the insurance company (Blue Shield PPO), sent my records so they would know every last detail, and got everything approved in writing. Waited a couple months in case they changed their mind, and then we did the tests.
Good news is that I have very little spread into large fiber. Just a teensy bit. Enough to make one of my toes be almost numb, enough to be causing circulation problems in the sole of one foot, but not much else. Not so good news is that it is definetly in my stomach and throat. I'm having trouble digesting, intestines are not absorbing nutrients like they should, and I'm having trouble swallowing. With that information we decided to switch me to a stronger anti-inflamatory called "decadron", because the kenalog I am taking is just not quite doing the job.
Can't raise my kenalog cuz it trashes my immune system. Last thing I need is some silly little infection to spread to my bad valve, or into my heart or lungs where I'm not getting good circulation. That happened a couple years ago and into the ICU I went.
Insurance company calls my doc and says they're not paying. Not paying _anything_ for me, in fact they're dinging her on _all_ statements, even simple office visits. They're demanding research papers demonstrating that EMG is a standard test. (by the way, it's part of the standard protocol of all kinds of medical associations from the AMA to the ADA) They also tossed her out of the plan, she can't take Blue Shield anymore.
We decided not to start on the decadron now because she won't be able to follow me. Decadron is actually a type of chemotherapy used for cancer patients, it just happens to have a side effect that knocks down inflamations like neuropathy. It's not the kind of thing I want to be taking without a neuro watching over me.
So now I'm off to find a new neurologist. That's more time off work, more visits, more co-pays.
I decided not to fight the insurance company on this one. I'm really tired, I feel like **** most days, and I'm still fighting several other battles from years back. If I had the energy, time and money I would fight every last battle, but I'm running out of all of the above. So this time I'm letting them off the hook.
To get my spirits up my g/f LC and I decided to get outta town for a weekend. She's looking up marathons and I'm dusting off my cameras. I decided that if you can't beat 'em ..... go party ;) Oh yeah, speaking of which, we had a great Halloween. I was disguised as a hot dog and she was a bottle of Mustard. We went partying all over town and even walked into the wrong party cuz we had the wrong address!!!!!! Not to worry, they were nice people and we made some new friends.
Met one of the guys that bank-rolled the casinos when they first were built in Vegas. .... wow is he old!!! ....and wow does he have the best stories to tell. .....and wow does he have tons of body-guards all over the place !!!! and we also met one of the top entertainers here in Vegas ..... wow is she young !!!! ..... and wow is she loading up the cash by the barrel.... and wow is her hubby a gentle, kind guy who deserves a better wife !!!!
You know, I am _so_ having a great life. Vegas is such a fun town, and I've got so many wonderful friends. I know this ride won't last forever but it sure is one heck of a good one. Sucks to be sick all the time but everything else just rocks. Especially you recovery-noids who listen patiently to my rants (((((( hugs ))))))
Mike :)
Yours truly hasn't been feeling too good. My condition has continued to deteriorate, which is the normal progression of this disease. Neuro wanted to run some tests to see exactly where I'm at. Nothing fancy, just bloodwork and a EMG, standard tests for neuropathy. The EMG would show if the "small fiber neuropathy" that I have has spread into "large fiber". Neuropathy always spreads, there's no way to stop it.
Diabetics commonly get the large fiber type. It damages the sensory nerves and blood flow in the extremeties. Starting at the toes and moving up the legs. With early detection, rigid diet and plenty anti-inflamatories most diabetics can get by without too much trouble and eventually die of old age. A few unlucky ones will have it spread into the small fiber type late in life.
The type I have is small fiber. That affects the autonomic nerves, usually starting with the control of breathing, blood pressure and heart rate. Most of us don't live long enough to have it spread anywhere else. When it does spread it goes up into the throat and head, as well as down into the stomach and intestines. That's what the tests were for, to see where it's spread.
Doc called the insurance company (Blue Shield PPO), sent my records so they would know every last detail, and got everything approved in writing. Waited a couple months in case they changed their mind, and then we did the tests.
Good news is that I have very little spread into large fiber. Just a teensy bit. Enough to make one of my toes be almost numb, enough to be causing circulation problems in the sole of one foot, but not much else. Not so good news is that it is definetly in my stomach and throat. I'm having trouble digesting, intestines are not absorbing nutrients like they should, and I'm having trouble swallowing. With that information we decided to switch me to a stronger anti-inflamatory called "decadron", because the kenalog I am taking is just not quite doing the job.
Can't raise my kenalog cuz it trashes my immune system. Last thing I need is some silly little infection to spread to my bad valve, or into my heart or lungs where I'm not getting good circulation. That happened a couple years ago and into the ICU I went.
Insurance company calls my doc and says they're not paying. Not paying _anything_ for me, in fact they're dinging her on _all_ statements, even simple office visits. They're demanding research papers demonstrating that EMG is a standard test. (by the way, it's part of the standard protocol of all kinds of medical associations from the AMA to the ADA) They also tossed her out of the plan, she can't take Blue Shield anymore.
We decided not to start on the decadron now because she won't be able to follow me. Decadron is actually a type of chemotherapy used for cancer patients, it just happens to have a side effect that knocks down inflamations like neuropathy. It's not the kind of thing I want to be taking without a neuro watching over me.
So now I'm off to find a new neurologist. That's more time off work, more visits, more co-pays.
I decided not to fight the insurance company on this one. I'm really tired, I feel like **** most days, and I'm still fighting several other battles from years back. If I had the energy, time and money I would fight every last battle, but I'm running out of all of the above. So this time I'm letting them off the hook.
To get my spirits up my g/f LC and I decided to get outta town for a weekend. She's looking up marathons and I'm dusting off my cameras. I decided that if you can't beat 'em ..... go party ;) Oh yeah, speaking of which, we had a great Halloween. I was disguised as a hot dog and she was a bottle of Mustard. We went partying all over town and even walked into the wrong party cuz we had the wrong address!!!!!! Not to worry, they were nice people and we made some new friends.
Met one of the guys that bank-rolled the casinos when they first were built in Vegas. .... wow is he old!!! ....and wow does he have the best stories to tell. .....and wow does he have tons of body-guards all over the place !!!! and we also met one of the top entertainers here in Vegas ..... wow is she young !!!! ..... and wow is she loading up the cash by the barrel.... and wow is her hubby a gentle, kind guy who deserves a better wife !!!!
You know, I am _so_ having a great life. Vegas is such a fun town, and I've got so many wonderful friends. I know this ride won't last forever but it sure is one heck of a good one. Sucks to be sick all the time but everything else just rocks. Especially you recovery-noids who listen patiently to my rants (((((( hugs ))))))
Mike :)
SSRI Detox
My therapist has recommended me to detox off effexor due to it giving me bad blood pressure. Once off I will see how my mental illness is and if I need more. Now I've never done this before so I'm a little nervous about how I should get off, do I wean or quit cold turkey. What symptoms should I expect and how do I deal with them?
im beyond mad now!
ill try to make this short but im still so mad that ill end up writing a book
basically today i went to my doctor, my blood pressure was up, my doctor is hospital happy and sent me to be admitted to the hospital to be monitered, well i was alone, no way to get in touch with my mom, only my dad but hes over an hour away, he has no way of getting in touch with my mom cause he has the phone, im flipping out crying on the phone with my dad, cause the doc said if my blood pressure doesnt come down then they will take the baby now instead of in a couple weeks, so i give my dad my myspace info and he sends a message to my mom at home, well basically im just scared and upset because im by myself
well as im laying there i get the bright idea to send a text message to my XAH, cause im hurt that im going through all this alone, so i basically just say i hate you for everything youve done to me, he calls and i dont answer, he leaves a message saying he lost my number (bullsh*t) so i sent a message back and said just leave me alone i just wanted you to know how i felt, he writes back and says "godda*nit leann ive been trying to get in touch with you, i love you" (more bullsh*t) so i finally answer the phone and hes like well you havnet let me be there, i said you with another woman and you dont get why i wont let you around me, i said how can you be with another woman and say you love me, hes like oh well i just meant that i care about how you feel (i have a feeling the OW was there) then he keeps asking where i am, im like dont worry about it, i said , why havnet you sent me any money, hes like i havent had any (BULL) i finally just hung up on him
my friend later called him, and he mades excuses saying he wants to be there for the baby i wont let him, that he loves me but im too DIFFUCULT to live with, oh yes im so bad and horrible cause you dont get to drink yourself to death and my son comes first and you cant drink around him when hes here, yes im diffucult that way, she asked him about the OW he said well i dont know whats going on with me and her, i love leann but i cant deal with her, and i told her i needed time (going on 7 months now) and communication and shes diffucult to talk to (yeah i dont want to deal with your crap, man am i so diffucult for that) and he asked her to get me to call him so "we" could talk
so i call him and hes rude, like what do you want, im like i was told to call you, hes like oh, then he tries to find out where i am again, hes like i know your still in florida , i said dont worry about it, hes like what are you doing, i said i spent the day at the hospital i just got home, hes like oh yeah why, i told him i wasnt discussing anything to do with me with him, AND THE IDIOT DROPPED IT, not one single question about the baby, or if something is wrong with the baby, no questions if im doing ok with the pregnancy , NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!
he starts talking about him gaining weight, i dont care how much he weighs or how much he eats, so then hes like well my jaw hurts, im like really why :chatter hes like i went to a bar last night and this big guy got smart with my buddy and i whipped his a** , im thinking wow i am so proud NOT!, so im like what do u expect to happen with us talking, hes like i dont know, i want to help with the baby (BULL) hes like you dont come see me, now the last time i talked to him , i couldnt come over because of his girlfriends schedule, thats why i cut contact then , but he blamed me saying well you wouldnt come over while she was here UH YEAH WHY SHOULD I COME OVER WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND, he is living in a dream world, and this whole time hes got music blasting, i told him i couldnt hear him, and hes like well its maroon 5, oh well excuse me then (IDIOT) he finally turned it down and got mad cause he had to, i told him i wasnt letting my child be around another woman, and was about to say "or a drunk that cares only about hisself" but he hung up on me, i sent a message and said you just made your own bed, now lie in it
hes not living in reality , everything is my fault, i dont believe he will get a lawyer to get visitation, cause he dont care, his excuse is i wont let him so theres nothing he can do, he dont have any money to send me but hes going out to bars, well i know drinks in a bar are not cheap, but he dont have money for the baby:wtf2 all he wanted to talk about was going to a da*n bar, i heard the word bar a million times
i dont care what someone says about an alcoholic, i dont believe alcohol can make you not want your own child, not every alcoholic leaves their child, i am so tired of alcohol running my life AND I DONT DRINK , first my grandfather my whole life, then my Xah , im sick of it, hurt me but your not gonna hurt my child and thats all he will ever do, i could have already had the baby and he didnt even ask, thats pathetic
i get the whole co-dependancy thing, im working on those problems with my self, but this just aint right, this man is out of his mind, i think hes also on drugs now but i have no proof and i dont really care anymore, there is not even a shadow of the man i married, i dont ever want this man around me or my son EVER , hes not getting away with blaming alcohol for his problems and he sure aint blaming me cause i dont care, if that gets him through the day by blaming me then so be it, i do not care, he will have to get a court order to see my son, but do i think that will happen NO he dont care, if he helped with his son then he wouldnt be able to go to the BAR
this is not an alcoholic this is just a pure a**hole, idiot,dumba**, worthless man
this is the best wake up call for me, i hope he rots in he**
sorry its so long, even my family has told me im snapping, as they say i should, they are glad im finally to this point and mad! i let people hurt me but when you hurt my family i flip out and hes hurting my son and he aint even born yet , and the kicker is something is potentially wrong with my son, something with one of his kidneys, i wont know for sure til after hes born, my X doesnt know nor does he ask, to me thats as low as you can go
im sorry ill ramble all night about this if i dont stop now, i cant believe i was so stupid to have ever married this man:c004: all i want now is a divorce
basically today i went to my doctor, my blood pressure was up, my doctor is hospital happy and sent me to be admitted to the hospital to be monitered, well i was alone, no way to get in touch with my mom, only my dad but hes over an hour away, he has no way of getting in touch with my mom cause he has the phone, im flipping out crying on the phone with my dad, cause the doc said if my blood pressure doesnt come down then they will take the baby now instead of in a couple weeks, so i give my dad my myspace info and he sends a message to my mom at home, well basically im just scared and upset because im by myself
well as im laying there i get the bright idea to send a text message to my XAH, cause im hurt that im going through all this alone, so i basically just say i hate you for everything youve done to me, he calls and i dont answer, he leaves a message saying he lost my number (bullsh*t) so i sent a message back and said just leave me alone i just wanted you to know how i felt, he writes back and says "godda*nit leann ive been trying to get in touch with you, i love you" (more bullsh*t) so i finally answer the phone and hes like well you havnet let me be there, i said you with another woman and you dont get why i wont let you around me, i said how can you be with another woman and say you love me, hes like oh well i just meant that i care about how you feel (i have a feeling the OW was there) then he keeps asking where i am, im like dont worry about it, i said , why havnet you sent me any money, hes like i havent had any (BULL) i finally just hung up on him
my friend later called him, and he mades excuses saying he wants to be there for the baby i wont let him, that he loves me but im too DIFFUCULT to live with, oh yes im so bad and horrible cause you dont get to drink yourself to death and my son comes first and you cant drink around him when hes here, yes im diffucult that way, she asked him about the OW he said well i dont know whats going on with me and her, i love leann but i cant deal with her, and i told her i needed time (going on 7 months now) and communication and shes diffucult to talk to (yeah i dont want to deal with your crap, man am i so diffucult for that) and he asked her to get me to call him so "we" could talk
so i call him and hes rude, like what do you want, im like i was told to call you, hes like oh, then he tries to find out where i am again, hes like i know your still in florida , i said dont worry about it, hes like what are you doing, i said i spent the day at the hospital i just got home, hes like oh yeah why, i told him i wasnt discussing anything to do with me with him, AND THE IDIOT DROPPED IT, not one single question about the baby, or if something is wrong with the baby, no questions if im doing ok with the pregnancy , NOTHING AT ALL!!!!!!
he starts talking about him gaining weight, i dont care how much he weighs or how much he eats, so then hes like well my jaw hurts, im like really why :chatter hes like i went to a bar last night and this big guy got smart with my buddy and i whipped his a** , im thinking wow i am so proud NOT!, so im like what do u expect to happen with us talking, hes like i dont know, i want to help with the baby (BULL) hes like you dont come see me, now the last time i talked to him , i couldnt come over because of his girlfriends schedule, thats why i cut contact then , but he blamed me saying well you wouldnt come over while she was here UH YEAH WHY SHOULD I COME OVER WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND, he is living in a dream world, and this whole time hes got music blasting, i told him i couldnt hear him, and hes like well its maroon 5, oh well excuse me then (IDIOT) he finally turned it down and got mad cause he had to, i told him i wasnt letting my child be around another woman, and was about to say "or a drunk that cares only about hisself" but he hung up on me, i sent a message and said you just made your own bed, now lie in it
hes not living in reality , everything is my fault, i dont believe he will get a lawyer to get visitation, cause he dont care, his excuse is i wont let him so theres nothing he can do, he dont have any money to send me but hes going out to bars, well i know drinks in a bar are not cheap, but he dont have money for the baby:wtf2 all he wanted to talk about was going to a da*n bar, i heard the word bar a million times
i dont care what someone says about an alcoholic, i dont believe alcohol can make you not want your own child, not every alcoholic leaves their child, i am so tired of alcohol running my life AND I DONT DRINK , first my grandfather my whole life, then my Xah , im sick of it, hurt me but your not gonna hurt my child and thats all he will ever do, i could have already had the baby and he didnt even ask, thats pathetic
i get the whole co-dependancy thing, im working on those problems with my self, but this just aint right, this man is out of his mind, i think hes also on drugs now but i have no proof and i dont really care anymore, there is not even a shadow of the man i married, i dont ever want this man around me or my son EVER , hes not getting away with blaming alcohol for his problems and he sure aint blaming me cause i dont care, if that gets him through the day by blaming me then so be it, i do not care, he will have to get a court order to see my son, but do i think that will happen NO he dont care, if he helped with his son then he wouldnt be able to go to the BAR
this is not an alcoholic this is just a pure a**hole, idiot,dumba**, worthless man
this is the best wake up call for me, i hope he rots in he**
sorry its so long, even my family has told me im snapping, as they say i should, they are glad im finally to this point and mad! i let people hurt me but when you hurt my family i flip out and hes hurting my son and he aint even born yet , and the kicker is something is potentially wrong with my son, something with one of his kidneys, i wont know for sure til after hes born, my X doesnt know nor does he ask, to me thats as low as you can go
im sorry ill ramble all night about this if i dont stop now, i cant believe i was so stupid to have ever married this man:c004: all i want now is a divorce
Please Explain
I am Danielson's girlfriend, and during a conversation I posed a question to him that he was unable to answer and he thought I should post it on here to get some insight.
In the course of 14 years, he has been able to quit smoking successfully after one try. He smoked 1-2 packs per day. He was also in an environment where smoking was almost encouraged.
He managed to cut all of his favorite foods out because of health concerns without once cheating to eat something unhealthy. He also managed to wake up every morning without fail to go to the gym in an effort to change his cholesterol and blood pressure.
However, when it comes to alcohol, he just can't quit. If he has the willpower to cut everything else out, why not this?
It is affecting every facet of his life, he is aware of it, but he just can't quit.
Why? Why is this so different? He has (in the past) been able to roll with the punches, pick himself up when he is down, and make life changing decisions on a whim, but alcohol has this strange grip on him that makes all of that impossible now.
In the course of 14 years, he has been able to quit smoking successfully after one try. He smoked 1-2 packs per day. He was also in an environment where smoking was almost encouraged.
He managed to cut all of his favorite foods out because of health concerns without once cheating to eat something unhealthy. He also managed to wake up every morning without fail to go to the gym in an effort to change his cholesterol and blood pressure.
However, when it comes to alcohol, he just can't quit. If he has the willpower to cut everything else out, why not this?
It is affecting every facet of his life, he is aware of it, but he just can't quit.
Why? Why is this so different? He has (in the past) been able to roll with the punches, pick himself up when he is down, and make life changing decisions on a whim, but alcohol has this strange grip on him that makes all of that impossible now.
My monthly doctor visit
So I go see my MD once a month to monitor my progress.
My blood pressure, which topped out at 217/110, is now down 60 points and my liver functions are 75% back to normal. I guess I didn't do as much damage as I thought. My only prescription anymore is to lose 70 pounds. That makes me happy because I hate taking those damn pills. The doctor tried to give me a beta blocker and I refused, I'd rather play tennis and lift weights all day; I have nothing else.
I might make it past 40. Yesterday was a good day.
I only say this to share my experience and that sobriety is getting the Tex back that so many lost. I may never see those people again, but new people I meet will like me, because I have some motivation and happiness.
People, go see a doctor. It took away so much of the fear that us alcoholics experience.
My blood pressure, which topped out at 217/110, is now down 60 points and my liver functions are 75% back to normal. I guess I didn't do as much damage as I thought. My only prescription anymore is to lose 70 pounds. That makes me happy because I hate taking those damn pills. The doctor tried to give me a beta blocker and I refused, I'd rather play tennis and lift weights all day; I have nothing else.
I might make it past 40. Yesterday was a good day.
I only say this to share my experience and that sobriety is getting the Tex back that so many lost. I may never see those people again, but new people I meet will like me, because I have some motivation and happiness.
People, go see a doctor. It took away so much of the fear that us alcoholics experience.
half a day in and need support and answers please
i've been drinking alot ever since I decided to give up drugs..(a recreational cocaine user)..somehow that seemed easier than this. now it has been 2 years without drugs but 2 years of extreme drinking....i can drink 2 bottles of wine to myself and still want a beer or 2. Tho i don't drink every night I do drink more then i don't. My job makes it hard too as I am a bartender, so every night seems like a party. I know I can still work my job without drinking tho because the majority of my drinking is done away from my co-workers. Anyways I would really appreciate some advice on how to get through the roughest parts and what to expect...I take ativan sometimes for panic attacks and anxiety disorder so am hoping these will help for the blood pressure part, which is a big problem I hear.
thanks for listening
thanks for listening
Frustrated/Angry
Am I more frustrated with myself because I tolerate verble abuse or is it because what I am hearing I sometimes listen too and let it get to me?
I am trying to take care of me, I am doing what I want to do, but the constant critiscism that I hear is driving me crazy at times.
I know that I should not take personally what is said, but sometimes I cant help it. I try really hard to hear quack, quack, quack. But today it didnt work.
I have some serious choices to make and I keep putting them off thinking that this is not that horribly bad. But it is that bad!!
Because of my H sleeping schedule I asked my daughter to go upstairs and get something for me. I was on the phone with her and what she was retrieving was on the complete opposite side of the room where my H was sleeping. She just had to go to the top of the stairs and go in the middle drawer and pull something out for me and bring it to me at work. She didnt even have to go to the area where my H was, she just had to go to the top of the stairs and the desk is right there. He started mumbling "get out of here" I was on the phone with her the whole time. Then he mumbles something about I will get it for her, so my daughter said call mom and she hung up with me.
I called him and then he started, with the names and the insults, calling my daughter a fat ass to me while on the phone, and mentions as soon as that thing leaves I will go behind her and lock the doors.
My blood pressure must have risen through the roof, how do you hold your composure?????
quack, quack, quack just doesnt work sometimes, you know. Anyon:(
I am trying to take care of me, I am doing what I want to do, but the constant critiscism that I hear is driving me crazy at times.
I know that I should not take personally what is said, but sometimes I cant help it. I try really hard to hear quack, quack, quack. But today it didnt work.
I have some serious choices to make and I keep putting them off thinking that this is not that horribly bad. But it is that bad!!
Because of my H sleeping schedule I asked my daughter to go upstairs and get something for me. I was on the phone with her and what she was retrieving was on the complete opposite side of the room where my H was sleeping. She just had to go to the top of the stairs and go in the middle drawer and pull something out for me and bring it to me at work. She didnt even have to go to the area where my H was, she just had to go to the top of the stairs and the desk is right there. He started mumbling "get out of here" I was on the phone with her the whole time. Then he mumbles something about I will get it for her, so my daughter said call mom and she hung up with me.
I called him and then he started, with the names and the insults, calling my daughter a fat ass to me while on the phone, and mentions as soon as that thing leaves I will go behind her and lock the doors.
My blood pressure must have risen through the roof, how do you hold your composure?????
quack, quack, quack just doesnt work sometimes, you know. Anyon:(
