Archive for the ‘Booze’ tag
alcohol, depression, counselling and medication
Hi
I wanted to strart this post as I have been drinking all my adult life (now 37). I went to AA, counselling, and tried to deal with alcoholism myself too unsuccessfully. I was always depressed about what i thought was the drinking.
2 months ago i decided it might be time to start thinking about how to end my life as it really was not living anymore and i could not get any better. At this point i decided i would have one more shot at it and went to a counseller.
I've been going for 2 times a week ever since and have been sober with no real hard cravings like when i tried to give up myself. I think in some way it has helped me to be told that i have been self medicating using alcohol to either in some part deal with the anxiety/depression/social anxiety and to some extent the issues i have with myself, which i am addressing now and will continue to do so at counselling.
I was prescribed anti-depressants (seroxat or paxil as it is known in the states), anatabuse and an anti anxiety pill for the weeks coming off booze.
I want to start this thread as i wanted to get some feedback on the above and also wanted to discuss users questions about my road to recovery which has, and i know will be now, successful. Fears on medication etc.
I would never have really considered what i have done to get to being able to sit here happy and posting in a sane frame of mind, post away please:-)
I wanted to strart this post as I have been drinking all my adult life (now 37). I went to AA, counselling, and tried to deal with alcoholism myself too unsuccessfully. I was always depressed about what i thought was the drinking.
2 months ago i decided it might be time to start thinking about how to end my life as it really was not living anymore and i could not get any better. At this point i decided i would have one more shot at it and went to a counseller.
I've been going for 2 times a week ever since and have been sober with no real hard cravings like when i tried to give up myself. I think in some way it has helped me to be told that i have been self medicating using alcohol to either in some part deal with the anxiety/depression/social anxiety and to some extent the issues i have with myself, which i am addressing now and will continue to do so at counselling.
I was prescribed anti-depressants (seroxat or paxil as it is known in the states), anatabuse and an anti anxiety pill for the weeks coming off booze.
I want to start this thread as i wanted to get some feedback on the above and also wanted to discuss users questions about my road to recovery which has, and i know will be now, successful. Fears on medication etc.
I would never have really considered what i have done to get to being able to sit here happy and posting in a sane frame of mind, post away please:-)
Here we go again…
I've never posted a thing on a forum, but I think it's time to reach out.
I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. We've been together 7 years, and while I knew he had been abusing "something' for 6 years of our relationship, (he has been off the booze for 1 year, 22 days) I have just recently opened my eyes to the realization that he is using again, but this time it's not alcohol. It's prescription drugs and he has just confessed that he's been on them (ordering them) since one month out of rehab (1 year ago) and now he's completely, physically addicted to pain pills.
This time last year we were the model recovering couple. Did everything by the book. But things changed quickly. I notice he began to transform about a month into our recovery, but I chalked it up to one of the many changes I'd seen. Now, 1 year later, I have learned that I've been lied to and deceived again, repeatedly, for the last year!! I knew that something was wrong a while ago, but I seem to have forgotten all that I've learned (I guess we both have), I didn't want to believe the warning signs, I didn't want it to be true. It's so sad. I look at him now, and I DREAD going through the pain of trying to get back on track. I love the idea of my husband. I want a future with him. But I don't know who I live with anymore. I am shocked, confused, grieving, and fed-up.
This is a long story kind of short. I'm not even sure if this is the right forum. But if anyone can point me in the right direction, I could really use it.
Thanks-
Crushed.
I am the wife of a recovering alcoholic. We've been together 7 years, and while I knew he had been abusing "something' for 6 years of our relationship, (he has been off the booze for 1 year, 22 days) I have just recently opened my eyes to the realization that he is using again, but this time it's not alcohol. It's prescription drugs and he has just confessed that he's been on them (ordering them) since one month out of rehab (1 year ago) and now he's completely, physically addicted to pain pills.
This time last year we were the model recovering couple. Did everything by the book. But things changed quickly. I notice he began to transform about a month into our recovery, but I chalked it up to one of the many changes I'd seen. Now, 1 year later, I have learned that I've been lied to and deceived again, repeatedly, for the last year!! I knew that something was wrong a while ago, but I seem to have forgotten all that I've learned (I guess we both have), I didn't want to believe the warning signs, I didn't want it to be true. It's so sad. I look at him now, and I DREAD going through the pain of trying to get back on track. I love the idea of my husband. I want a future with him. But I don't know who I live with anymore. I am shocked, confused, grieving, and fed-up.
This is a long story kind of short. I'm not even sure if this is the right forum. But if anyone can point me in the right direction, I could really use it.
Thanks-
Crushed.
Day 7 :) ALL IS GREAT!!!
Today is day 7 without a drink and it feels SO GOOD! I went out and got my hair done on Friday and have been working on ME and I love it. I am past the anxiety (and off of the ativan) and the sluggishness and nausea are totally gone. No cravings at all....
Friday was a tad hard because my mom met us to get the kids Santa Pics and she had booze on her breath... it wasn't that I was envious... I was MAD because she was/is always the first to critisize my drinking and she was pretty tipsy at noon on a workday for her... I wanted to say something but I didn't want the fight so I kept my mouth shut and ranted to my husband instead.
Speaking of my husband, I don't know how I got so lucky. He supports me so much WHEN I AM HONEST WITH HIM... when I hide my drinking, he gets mad, though.... but without him, I don't know what I would do!
The kids and I are going to make Christmas Cookies for grandpa this afternoon and take them over there... both are napping now, so I am checking in here and catching up on email.
Thanks for listening... just getting it out there is therapy for me!!!!
Friday was a tad hard because my mom met us to get the kids Santa Pics and she had booze on her breath... it wasn't that I was envious... I was MAD because she was/is always the first to critisize my drinking and she was pretty tipsy at noon on a workday for her... I wanted to say something but I didn't want the fight so I kept my mouth shut and ranted to my husband instead.
Speaking of my husband, I don't know how I got so lucky. He supports me so much WHEN I AM HONEST WITH HIM... when I hide my drinking, he gets mad, though.... but without him, I don't know what I would do!
The kids and I are going to make Christmas Cookies for grandpa this afternoon and take them over there... both are napping now, so I am checking in here and catching up on email.
Thanks for listening... just getting it out there is therapy for me!!!!
new to this forum
three months, three weeks sober. but brand new to this forum, so i guess i just thought i'd say hello. i'm finding sobriety lonely as hell, and i guess i thought this might be a nice place to come and talk about it (sobriety). i'm your garden variety drunk, really. been living in london for two plus years, used ever day, all day. before that in new york, same thing some times replaced with bulimia. five years constant use of some substance. booze specifically, although i was deemed a hallucinogenic addict in rehab as well. moved back from london to my parents home in the bible belt, hence the lonely sentiments of late. anyway, that's me, just wanted to say hello.
167 days off booze…
And no relief. Hilarious really. I feel like crap. Hum. Btw alcoholism isn't a disease it's an addiction of the mind.
Overcoming defects of character
I recently celebrated 3 yrs sober, and it felt good, but I am still unhappy that I suffer from certain character defects. I easily get a negative outlook on life and just wish for the instant feeling of good I got from booze/drugs. I have had a lot of extremes in life, more than other people in recovery I know. I did a lot of narcotics, got a lot of money without working for it early in life, and sex was the same. I don't like journeys, I just like destinations. I have difficulty in life not seeing it in these terms (black and white, all or nothing, sex/booze/money/status), and I often live my life just wanting to escape or find a means to escape. This makes me more selfish than I would like. I notice most people in general are very selfish.... most people in aa are still selfish to some degree, and the people who I see as less selfish are only selfless IF they think it will benefit them. I am like that, but more extreme. I feel like it will take a lifetime to undue the damage I did to myself (if it is possible). Getting sober and getting a job is easy, overcoming this stuff feels almost impossible. All I can manage to do is pray about it, do my readings, and try not to commit the selfish acts that have ruined me and my attitude/approach to life (or at least ones that are obvious to me). I am only now starting to accept myself a little more for who I am, so I am only beginning to accept others a little more too and want to be a part of their lives.
What Next?
This morning is day 21. When I first came into this I told myself I needed to go 30 days with no booze, I am almost there. The thing is, is now I am feeling like once I hit the 30 day mark that it may be OK to go have a few as long as I stay under control. Problem is that once I have 1, I go until the bar closes and get completely hammered. I plan on only having a few but once the trains starts rolling its game over.
The other part of me is saying you been working out, losing some LB's, feeling amazing, kicking ass at work, re focused, no hangovers so why would I want to go back to it? I dont know why, maybe because its what I have always done. Maybe I am having an issue realizing that this should be something I Need to do for more than 30 days.
dont know, Just venting a little.
The other part of me is saying you been working out, losing some LB's, feeling amazing, kicking ass at work, re focused, no hangovers so why would I want to go back to it? I dont know why, maybe because its what I have always done. Maybe I am having an issue realizing that this should be something I Need to do for more than 30 days.
dont know, Just venting a little.
What Next?
This morning is day 21. When I first came into this I told myself I needed to go 30 days with no booze, I am almost there. The thing is, is now I am feeling like once I hit the 30 day mark that it may be OK to go have a few as long as I stay under control. Problem is that once I have 1, I go until the bar closes and get completely hammered. I plan on only having a few but once the trains starts rolling its game over.
The other part of me is saying you been working out, losing some LB's, feeling amazing, kicking ass at work, re focused, no hangovers so why would I want to go back to it? I dont know why, maybe because its what I have always done. Maybe I am having an issue realizing that this should be something I Need to do for more than 30 days.
dont know, Just venting a little.
The other part of me is saying you been working out, losing some LB's, feeling amazing, kicking ass at work, re focused, no hangovers so why would I want to go back to it? I dont know why, maybe because its what I have always done. Maybe I am having an issue realizing that this should be something I Need to do for more than 30 days.
dont know, Just venting a little.
Approach to Sobriety; confused redux
Many of you have provided great feedback to my posts the past couple of days. Thanks.
One big issue I have faced is qutting both alcohol (DOC), and dealing with my pain meds. The treatment center wanted me to detox on everything in 7-8 days. Based on my research, this seemed awfully quick, and some of you suggested I check it out with experienced doctors.
Today I was able to meet with my pain specialist and my primary care physician. They both were very encouraging about getting off the alcohol (asap!), but both were equally against this method of dealing with the pain meds. They thought it way too fast, dangerous, and likely, because of all the depressants, anti-anxiety meds, etc., I would have to be on to detox that rapidly, likely to leave me in a mental state not very suitable for other, cognitive, work. (I would really like to see how much I could scale back that medication. I'd really love to see what life without it could be like.) Their position is that I should quit alcohol and then they'd work with me on the oxy.
I'm really trying to do the right thing.
I got back (been a while) to an AA meeting tonight and connected with my previous sponsor, who is very willing to help me. I made a decision and a commitment to just quit the booze. I need to get on with life, and can't do it like this.
One big issue I have faced is qutting both alcohol (DOC), and dealing with my pain meds. The treatment center wanted me to detox on everything in 7-8 days. Based on my research, this seemed awfully quick, and some of you suggested I check it out with experienced doctors.
Today I was able to meet with my pain specialist and my primary care physician. They both were very encouraging about getting off the alcohol (asap!), but both were equally against this method of dealing with the pain meds. They thought it way too fast, dangerous, and likely, because of all the depressants, anti-anxiety meds, etc., I would have to be on to detox that rapidly, likely to leave me in a mental state not very suitable for other, cognitive, work. (I would really like to see how much I could scale back that medication. I'd really love to see what life without it could be like.) Their position is that I should quit alcohol and then they'd work with me on the oxy.
I'm really trying to do the right thing.
I got back (been a while) to an AA meeting tonight and connected with my previous sponsor, who is very willing to help me. I made a decision and a commitment to just quit the booze. I need to get on with life, and can't do it like this.
Happy Thanksgiving
I wanted to spend a moment and thank each of you for my continued New Life. Living free is not a destination; it is a wondrous journey and I relish moving forward, learning and growing. We are travelling to Indiana this week for Thanksgiving; nothing like homecooked bird and dressing!
For years, Thanksgivings was not a time of thoughtfulness, but rather a struggle to live while chained to booze and the attendant behavior, insanity and consequences. Whether it was in an abandoned building, jail, a mission or in an alley, I spent this coming holiday in self pity, remorse, guilt and shame. Occasionally, I was drunk, but more truly I was always in pain. I can remember not feeling like I deserved to be with family on Thanksgiving and resenting that no one would rescue me so I could attend. Then, finally, all of that changed. Finally, I listened and heard the voice of something much greater than I.
Today, I am free and I have you folks to thank for it, members of Alcoholics Anonymous. You are all in my thoughts this week and I would wish each of a happy and safe Thanksgiving.
Ron
For years, Thanksgivings was not a time of thoughtfulness, but rather a struggle to live while chained to booze and the attendant behavior, insanity and consequences. Whether it was in an abandoned building, jail, a mission or in an alley, I spent this coming holiday in self pity, remorse, guilt and shame. Occasionally, I was drunk, but more truly I was always in pain. I can remember not feeling like I deserved to be with family on Thanksgiving and resenting that no one would rescue me so I could attend. Then, finally, all of that changed. Finally, I listened and heard the voice of something much greater than I.
Today, I am free and I have you folks to thank for it, members of Alcoholics Anonymous. You are all in my thoughts this week and I would wish each of a happy and safe Thanksgiving.
Ron
