Archive for the ‘Brooklyn’ tag
is it true you can’t go back?
"......I mean can I go back to AA? Will I be accepted even though I don't subscribe to some of the tenets?...."
if you walk in with the desire not to drink
you have a seat
as far as going back?
i've been doing it all my life
i'll do it now........................
If you're happy in recovery, you're in denial???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you may be missing something, sarah29
this is a "we" program
it's is not about you or me, he, she, them, they
or even bill w.
"we"
it's a lot like a elite club
larry shared with me years ago,
"many are called, few are chosen"
7/20/05 atthe brooklyn heights meeting
yeah, i got a dairy of what some said at meetings
consider yourself cjosen, you'll feel better
so....................................
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah29
I'm the only member amongst my group of friends that has an addiction problem and one day they basically told me to shape up or find new friends.
I shaped up and got clean and sober. I have a lot of friends in recovery but most of them are not in recovery. Some of them don't even drink or use drugs because they just choose not to. They are normal happy people.
I'm a happy person too. Lately I've been struggling with some members in the rooms just pestering me. They treat me like I'm not normal, like I should be going through some sort of crisis and if my life is not dramatic then I must be in denial.
(between you and me, i struggle with a few aa's
rosa typed a disiheritance letter four me
claire got me out of the will
and
jerry broadcast it to everyone in new york, brooklyn, intergroup, etc
charles robbed me of a brand new dvd camcorder
amicomplaining?)
I'm not saying that my life is perfect, but I am happy and some people's attitude towards my joyful deminure is really getting to me. It's almost as if they would feel better if I was miserable and neurotic.
I get the comments such as "Of course, Sarah is always happy, her life is perfect ... blablabla"
It's difficult for me because I can't relate to most people in the rooms; I had a great childhood, good education, love, friends ... I simply loved to party too darn much, and I would use drugs to stay awake on those long study nights, it wasn?t a bright thing to do. It got out of control.
I went to treatment and got my life back ... I'm happy. What is wrong with that? Why am I not OK (according to some) if I?m not going through some bouts of depression, or chaos?
I'm starting to feel different; my sponsor is really being supportive but she can't really relate to my situation either.
The only thing that is starting to affect my happiness is other people telling me that I can't be this happy unless I'm in denial.
Maybe I?m projecting a few people?s opinion onto the rest of the fellowship ? maybe I need to change some of my friends and make new friends that will accept me the way that I am ? happy ? for now
don't go getting noble on me
pardonmeforasking,
why is sarah29 a happy person
who is struggling with some members in the rooms
who are just pestering her
and
treating her like she's not normal
like she should be going through some sort of crisis
and if her life is not dramatic
then she must be in denial?
i mean
sarah is not getting enough attention in her group her friends
so she conveniently hops on the A train
as in "addiction"
and her friends are sick of sarah and her problems
so they let her know that it is either ship up or shape out
find new friends
well, a normal person would have said "seeya"
and bought a few new rags
join a bowling league
go to a movie
maybe even
since this is 2008
ask a guy out to dinner and foot the bill
but, no,
since her group of friends are doctors, lawyers, indian chiefs
with a masters in addiction
who can adequately and professionally diagnose her condition
she takes their prescription with a smile
of course, they are now at the malt shop
"where's sarah?"
"oh, she found new friends"
and the new friends
who are pestering her
because she is happy and her life is perfect ... blablabla"
are, now at the aa meeting "sharing"
(they probably wait for you to leave after the meeting,
or deny they are even talking about you
but, that's their problem)
"oh, sarah is pestering us by blablabla-ing us on the internet"
"she's not normal"
"yeah, accusing us of pestering her when she is pestering her"
"wait till i tell the others that she is pestering us because we are pestering her"
of course, sarah29 doesn't recognize anything is wrong
that she is on the internet
disparaging her old friends, new friends,
she hasn't gotten to the yet to be friends yet
pardonmeforaskingagain
but is it called creating a crisis by saying others are saying you need a crisis or you are in denial?
and
clicks off soberrecovery.com praying to the higher power that those who reply to her thread will absolve her of blame
i mean, you went for treatment and got your life back
if you got your life back
you are basically saying this is the way your life was
only, now you are not drinking
and
spending a good part of your life at meetings
("It's difficult for me because I can't relate to most people in the rooms")
sharing you have a life
to a group of people
you can't relate to
but, hey, i'll relate to them anyway
who don't care you have a life
and, according to you
are making you miserable
if this is shaping up
maybe you should try shipping out
imjustsaying
frankie
it feels good to go back
best
fraankie
if you walk in with the desire not to drink
you have a seat
as far as going back?
i've been doing it all my life
i'll do it now........................
If you're happy in recovery, you're in denial???
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
you may be missing something, sarah29
this is a "we" program
it's is not about you or me, he, she, them, they
or even bill w.
"we"
it's a lot like a elite club
larry shared with me years ago,
"many are called, few are chosen"
7/20/05 atthe brooklyn heights meeting
yeah, i got a dairy of what some said at meetings
consider yourself cjosen, you'll feel better
so....................................
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sarah29
I'm the only member amongst my group of friends that has an addiction problem and one day they basically told me to shape up or find new friends.
I shaped up and got clean and sober. I have a lot of friends in recovery but most of them are not in recovery. Some of them don't even drink or use drugs because they just choose not to. They are normal happy people.
I'm a happy person too. Lately I've been struggling with some members in the rooms just pestering me. They treat me like I'm not normal, like I should be going through some sort of crisis and if my life is not dramatic then I must be in denial.
(between you and me, i struggle with a few aa's
rosa typed a disiheritance letter four me
claire got me out of the will
and
jerry broadcast it to everyone in new york, brooklyn, intergroup, etc
charles robbed me of a brand new dvd camcorder
amicomplaining?)
I'm not saying that my life is perfect, but I am happy and some people's attitude towards my joyful deminure is really getting to me. It's almost as if they would feel better if I was miserable and neurotic.
I get the comments such as "Of course, Sarah is always happy, her life is perfect ... blablabla"
It's difficult for me because I can't relate to most people in the rooms; I had a great childhood, good education, love, friends ... I simply loved to party too darn much, and I would use drugs to stay awake on those long study nights, it wasn?t a bright thing to do. It got out of control.
I went to treatment and got my life back ... I'm happy. What is wrong with that? Why am I not OK (according to some) if I?m not going through some bouts of depression, or chaos?
I'm starting to feel different; my sponsor is really being supportive but she can't really relate to my situation either.
The only thing that is starting to affect my happiness is other people telling me that I can't be this happy unless I'm in denial.
Maybe I?m projecting a few people?s opinion onto the rest of the fellowship ? maybe I need to change some of my friends and make new friends that will accept me the way that I am ? happy ? for now
don't go getting noble on me
pardonmeforasking,
why is sarah29 a happy person
who is struggling with some members in the rooms
who are just pestering her
and
treating her like she's not normal
like she should be going through some sort of crisis
and if her life is not dramatic
then she must be in denial?
i mean
sarah is not getting enough attention in her group her friends
so she conveniently hops on the A train
as in "addiction"
and her friends are sick of sarah and her problems
so they let her know that it is either ship up or shape out
find new friends
well, a normal person would have said "seeya"
and bought a few new rags
join a bowling league
go to a movie
maybe even
since this is 2008
ask a guy out to dinner and foot the bill
but, no,
since her group of friends are doctors, lawyers, indian chiefs
with a masters in addiction
who can adequately and professionally diagnose her condition
she takes their prescription with a smile
of course, they are now at the malt shop
"where's sarah?"
"oh, she found new friends"
and the new friends
who are pestering her
because she is happy and her life is perfect ... blablabla"
are, now at the aa meeting "sharing"
(they probably wait for you to leave after the meeting,
or deny they are even talking about you
but, that's their problem)
"oh, sarah is pestering us by blablabla-ing us on the internet"
"she's not normal"
"yeah, accusing us of pestering her when she is pestering her"
"wait till i tell the others that she is pestering us because we are pestering her"
of course, sarah29 doesn't recognize anything is wrong
that she is on the internet
disparaging her old friends, new friends,
she hasn't gotten to the yet to be friends yet
pardonmeforaskingagain
but is it called creating a crisis by saying others are saying you need a crisis or you are in denial?
and
clicks off soberrecovery.com praying to the higher power that those who reply to her thread will absolve her of blame
i mean, you went for treatment and got your life back
if you got your life back
you are basically saying this is the way your life was
only, now you are not drinking
and
spending a good part of your life at meetings
("It's difficult for me because I can't relate to most people in the rooms")
sharing you have a life
to a group of people
you can't relate to
but, hey, i'll relate to them anyway
who don't care you have a life
and, according to you
are making you miserable
if this is shaping up
maybe you should try shipping out
imjustsaying
frankie
it feels good to go back
best
fraankie
Criticism.
In the early stages of my recovery I couldnÂ’t understand how criticism, positive or negative could help me grow in my healing from the disease of addiction. When I was criticizes automatically I went in to a defensive mode. Then came the game of war of words. Right after that came the anger and resentment towards whoever was giving out the criticism. When I felt attacked, I attack back. Sometimes the attack happens only in my mind as I indulge in resentments and fantasies of revenge. My reaction in the past to criticism was simple, Im from Brooklyn I donÂ’t get mad I get even. Today I know that healthy recovering people do not dwell in this type of thinking.
Working the steps, I had a light bulb moment. I started to understand why being criticize was such a big issue in my life. It came from my childhood. Unconsciously I acted out on life because of my childhood wounds. It is not only dysfunctional, it is ridiculous to maintain that what happened in my childhood did not affect my adult life. I had layers upon layers of denial, emotional dishonesty, buried trauma, unfulfilled needs, my heart was broken, my spirit was broken, my beliefs in a Higher Power wounded, I was shamefully criticized.
Some of the choices I made as adult were made in reaction to my childhood wounds. Working my program of recovery and uncovering the truth. I realize when I was being criticize I was reacting and acting out of anger from my childhood wounds. I was giving it the power to control my life. As I let go of my past personalities. I react to criticism with a complete different mindset and attitude.
I am leaning as I go through this journey, where the feelings of Restless, Irritable, and Discontent originated from. With the blessings I receive from working the steps of NA and the strength of my Higher Power. I can start forgiving myself and make amends to the ones I harm in the past. But most of all, I can forgive those who I trusted the most as a child.
In recovery, we say Principles before Personalities. Today I understand that statement with clarity.
Ivan
Working the steps, I had a light bulb moment. I started to understand why being criticize was such a big issue in my life. It came from my childhood. Unconsciously I acted out on life because of my childhood wounds. It is not only dysfunctional, it is ridiculous to maintain that what happened in my childhood did not affect my adult life. I had layers upon layers of denial, emotional dishonesty, buried trauma, unfulfilled needs, my heart was broken, my spirit was broken, my beliefs in a Higher Power wounded, I was shamefully criticized.
Some of the choices I made as adult were made in reaction to my childhood wounds. Working my program of recovery and uncovering the truth. I realize when I was being criticize I was reacting and acting out of anger from my childhood wounds. I was giving it the power to control my life. As I let go of my past personalities. I react to criticism with a complete different mindset and attitude.
I am leaning as I go through this journey, where the feelings of Restless, Irritable, and Discontent originated from. With the blessings I receive from working the steps of NA and the strength of my Higher Power. I can start forgiving myself and make amends to the ones I harm in the past. But most of all, I can forgive those who I trusted the most as a child.
In recovery, we say Principles before Personalities. Today I understand that statement with clarity.
Ivan
My father and stepmother are trying to use me…vent
Hi gang,
Once again, I need to vent.
As you know it is going on three weeks since my husband moved out. I am suppose to see him tomorrow to bring some clothes and stuff. He had sounded good the last two times I spoke to him, and had called both my mother and sister asking them if he could use them for a reference for a job under the table. He moved in with a friend (also an A), who is trying to help him out. Today, he was weepy. He was in a lot of back pain today, and he cried to me about how he missed me and loved me. He again said he was hungry. I have been crying a bunch the last few days. I have been missing him too. It has been terrible. So already the day was off to a gloomy kind of start.
Then I get a message from my step mother. My father and step mother are (to put it lightly) underhanded people. I love my father, but he has always been very self centered and is ready to shark someone for a buck. In his business, he has lied, cheated, and stole. His wife (my mother's former friend) is just like him, and he cheated on my mother when I was 13 and left her for my step mother. My step mother has one child, who is now 25. My step sister uses...what, I don't know, but I suspect coke, ex, and a variety of other things. My step mother has enabled her to the hilt. She has never balanced her checkbook, paid her own way, or done anything on her own. My step mother bought her a condo, which my stepsister promptly destroyed between the parties, the friends crashing, and the neglect. Eventually, they decided that she had to get out of there, and she moved to Brooklyn with a boyfriend who is now in prison for strong arm robbery. My dad and SM were paying the mortgage on the condo to prevent it from going into foreclosure.
My AH and I moved in there because it was benefical for all...the financial burden off them and off of us since it was considerably cheaper and bigger than what we were in. AH and I signed a lease to ward off the possibility of the step sis coming and trying to weasel back in. A few months ago, the step sis moved back down from NY (couldn't hack it up there on her own...couldn't find a job---hello...NYC and couldn't find a job?). My father has announced several times how much he can't stand her. She has been living with them now...suddenly, they are singing her praises...she got a job and she is doing so great (yeah right)....
well today, the other shoe dropped, and my step mother left a message on my work phone to ask that since the step sis is working so close to my place that I should rent her the other bedroom... I called my father and we argued about it for a while...I told him that if they are going to try to force this on me, I will stop paying rent, and they can formally evict me. Of course, my father as manipulative as he is tries to twist my words to make it appear like I am being emotional and irrational. We ended up hanging up on one another. I left a message on my step mother's phone that under no condition will I allow her to live with me.
I just got one addict out of the house! They didn't even wait until my damn sheets have cooled and they are ready to pounce. I am so hurt and sad. They are intentionally trying to take advantage of me. They know I am going through a divorce and that this is painful...they are going to try to pawn this person off on me and tell me that they are looking out for my welfare...you don't have 25 years worth of problem, 10 years of addiction, and no responsibility, and are magically fixed in two months....no AA no NA no recovery whatsoever....
On top of that, it just makes me miss my husband all the more. I feel so alone in all this. It makes the ache all more painful....
Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry so long.
Once again, I need to vent.
As you know it is going on three weeks since my husband moved out. I am suppose to see him tomorrow to bring some clothes and stuff. He had sounded good the last two times I spoke to him, and had called both my mother and sister asking them if he could use them for a reference for a job under the table. He moved in with a friend (also an A), who is trying to help him out. Today, he was weepy. He was in a lot of back pain today, and he cried to me about how he missed me and loved me. He again said he was hungry. I have been crying a bunch the last few days. I have been missing him too. It has been terrible. So already the day was off to a gloomy kind of start.
Then I get a message from my step mother. My father and step mother are (to put it lightly) underhanded people. I love my father, but he has always been very self centered and is ready to shark someone for a buck. In his business, he has lied, cheated, and stole. His wife (my mother's former friend) is just like him, and he cheated on my mother when I was 13 and left her for my step mother. My step mother has one child, who is now 25. My step sister uses...what, I don't know, but I suspect coke, ex, and a variety of other things. My step mother has enabled her to the hilt. She has never balanced her checkbook, paid her own way, or done anything on her own. My step mother bought her a condo, which my stepsister promptly destroyed between the parties, the friends crashing, and the neglect. Eventually, they decided that she had to get out of there, and she moved to Brooklyn with a boyfriend who is now in prison for strong arm robbery. My dad and SM were paying the mortgage on the condo to prevent it from going into foreclosure.
My AH and I moved in there because it was benefical for all...the financial burden off them and off of us since it was considerably cheaper and bigger than what we were in. AH and I signed a lease to ward off the possibility of the step sis coming and trying to weasel back in. A few months ago, the step sis moved back down from NY (couldn't hack it up there on her own...couldn't find a job---hello...NYC and couldn't find a job?). My father has announced several times how much he can't stand her. She has been living with them now...suddenly, they are singing her praises...she got a job and she is doing so great (yeah right)....
well today, the other shoe dropped, and my step mother left a message on my work phone to ask that since the step sis is working so close to my place that I should rent her the other bedroom... I called my father and we argued about it for a while...I told him that if they are going to try to force this on me, I will stop paying rent, and they can formally evict me. Of course, my father as manipulative as he is tries to twist my words to make it appear like I am being emotional and irrational. We ended up hanging up on one another. I left a message on my step mother's phone that under no condition will I allow her to live with me.
I just got one addict out of the house! They didn't even wait until my damn sheets have cooled and they are ready to pounce. I am so hurt and sad. They are intentionally trying to take advantage of me. They know I am going through a divorce and that this is painful...they are going to try to pawn this person off on me and tell me that they are looking out for my welfare...you don't have 25 years worth of problem, 10 years of addiction, and no responsibility, and are magically fixed in two months....no AA no NA no recovery whatsoever....
On top of that, it just makes me miss my husband all the more. I feel so alone in all this. It makes the ache all more painful....
Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry so long.
