Drug Rehab Options Blog

I am new to this forum but have been on this board for a little while in new to recovery forums.

I feel I not only need support for my sobriety but also to deal with the fact that my partner and child's father is still drinking. I entered treatment in August (outpatient) and he continued to drink. He would just go out all day and come home and pass out. He would lie his you know what off about his whereabouts. I was strong for a while. I can only control myself...but as time went on I ended up relapsing (30 days ago) and hsi dysfunctional family came down on me really hard. It was not easy to pull it together when being treated so unfairly but I did it.

Tonight is New Years Eve and he has told me he is going to work, yet he left very early for his shift and I know he is probably going out. This man chooses alcohol over his family. Each weekend he stumbles in arounf 8 and passes out. He feels this is his relaxatin and he deserves it and I am a stay at home mom so I am lucky to have what I have yada yada.

Can someone be in recovery and also be in Al-anon? I know I need my AA buddies but they do not need to hear about his drama when I need to work on myself..I am just hurt and confused and shellshocked that someone could be so callous. He gets extremely annoyed when I talk about recovery.

I know that step one is to become employed and start feeling some independence..step 2??

Thanks for listening.

My friends and I ride quads. Big race tommorow. I had ordered a set of hand guards to keep my hands warm and dry, and also for protection against flying rocks, etc. My buddy waited to long to order his so he called me this morning asking me to cut up a couple Clorox bottles and fabricate him a temp set just for the race. Sure, in recovery we do things like this. Plus I like help out my buddies anyway. He wanted me to pick up a rattle can of Flat Black and paint them too. No problem.

So I realize that AH will follow his own path to recovery, and I will do the same.

But....
I'm struggling with the fact that I am the one diving into information/resources about alcoholism, and AH is not.
He has been sober for five months, vowed to stop drinking, is seeing a counselor, and is rekindling old hobbies and interests. AH will not go to AA, he is not a reader, and he will not utilize online support boards. He has no sponsor and no buddies to talk to about this.

I look at him and think "do you really get it?"
How can you become sober if you don't learn about alcoholism? :scratchhead:

I know, I know....all I can do is focus on me. I am. And part of that focus is trying to figure out if I want to stay married to someone who doesn't appear to be taking the "necessary" steps.

make sense?

December 27


God could restore us to sanity

?The process of coming to believe restores us to sanity. The strength to move into action comes from this belief.?

Basic Text, p. 25

????=????

Now that we?ve finally admitted our insanity and seen examples of it in all its manifestations, we might be tempted to believe that we are doomed to repeat this behavior for the rest of our lives. Just as we thought that our active addiction was hopeless and we?d never get clean, we might now believe that our particular brand of insanity is hopeless.

Not so! We know that we owe our freedom from active addiction to the grace of a loving God. If our Higher Power can perform such a miracle as relieving our obsession to use drugs, surely this Power can also relieve our insanity in all its forms.

If we doubt this, all we have to do is think about the sanity that has already been restored to our lives. Maybe we?ve gotten carried away with our credit cards; but sanity returns when we admit defeat and cut them all up. Perhaps we?ve been feeling lonely and want to go visit our old using buddies. Going to visit our sponsor instead is a sane act.

The insanity of our addiction recedes into the past as we begin experiencing moments of sanity in our recovery. Our belief in a Power greater than ourselves grows as we begin to understand that even our brand of insanity is nothing in the face of this Power.

????=????

Just for today: I thank the God of my understanding for each sane act in my life, for I know they are indications of my restoration to sanity.

To the site that is... Happily, I never left sobriety :) Oh I'm so happy, I have a laptop again! I have missed SR very very much. SR helped me to stay sober through some extraordinarily hard times... helped me get to AA... then my laptop broke... and I stayed sober and got a job, which has enabled me to replace my laptop, and get back on SR. (Also to not be homeless, starving, and/or drunk in a gutter.) So it came full circle!

To be honest I'm a little overwhelmed and feeling out of the loop. Looking forward to getting back in touch with my buddies and meeting the newcomers. I'll be glad to have access to you guys during the holidays :)

Hugs, SS

Hi everyone,

I just was reading another post, and a member said they were addicted to opiates prior to turning to crack.....

Ho boy did that frighten me....

Is that typical with addiction? I had never thought about that before.

Sure, having a abf who is in denial about his drug abuse is bad enough. He says he can give up the alcohol, and coke he only does with his buddies, once and a while..... bla bla bla bla

For some reason he admitts a prob. with the pain pills- but still refuses to get help. Everyday I do believe he has the intention to do something about it, but I truely believe it is "easier" for him to just swallow a pill and say..."tomorrow will be the day I quit".

It is very sad to me. I have been working on detatchment, I am attempting to love him and let him go-

As I've said before, free the caged animal. He needs to fall flat on his face- all alone. I'm not willing to engage in any type of conversation with him about the following (when he will get help, why he continues to use, why he dosen't follow through on his promisise, etc.)

HOWEVER- I just read a post and I thought to myself Holly crap, what if he turns to crack next??????

Then I quickly said to myself, don't worry about it. Nothing I can do to control it if he does......

My question is, does addiction continue to go from one drug the next??

I don't want to even be concerned - as I have plenty to be concerned with as it is.........

But I am.

Any ideas or thoughts? P.s..... I still don't get the whole detatchment idea. I'm trying soooooooooooooo hard. I don't question him anylonger, I let him be. (for the most part)

I know I'm jumping all over the place here, but one example that I need to ask about is as follows:

He was on the couch watching a movie last night, I cuddled up to him and we talked like old pals, everything is fine, because If I don't bang him out about his "addiction issues" then our home is in great shape.

I FEEL LIKE THAT IS IGNORING THE BIG PINK ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM........
so what is detatching really supposed to feel like????

Please, any responses on either matter would be appreciated.....
Love
Cessy

in the parking lot of our local convenience store (a very small town) for not stopping what i was doing (WORKING (grading papers)) and immediately bringing my husband and his buddies the bottle of crown royal they had requested.

why do i always forget that even a calm, rational voice ("do you hear how you are speaking to me? your whiskey is not more important than my job.") does not work with someone who has been drinking all day? ("you should have stopped what you were doing and done what i asked you when i asked you to do it. i am not f***ing happy.")

he had done a "favor" for me earlier (gone into the city to get my migraine prescription), so now i was apparently supposed to return said favor.

i should have known this "honeymoon" period of things going well was not going to last. why do i kid myself?

I don't remember the past twenty years of my my life.

The only buddies I have are my old high school friends. They accepted me back like no time had ever gone by. I absolutly treasure them for that. Problem is, they want to laugh about stories that happened 15 years ago. They think it's funny as hell; I don't remember any of it. I don't remember the time blah met blah blah and they blah'd at the drive in. I don't remember any of it and it pisses me off.

What to do except be frustrated?

Man o man, Its my 5th day. I usually go out on Thursdays and get smashed. All of my buddies have been texting me to come out and watch football as if I need an excuse to throw back about 10 Vodka Sodas. I kindly declined the requests and got a lot of crap from all of them. I am usually the life of the party
and usually the ring leader. So i can expect it from them.

I came home from work but have the itch. I committed to working out with a friend at 5 am and have been met her there all week so far. I don't want to let her down like I have been doing the last few months so I think I am staying in. I am going to hold my commitment to her and most importantly myself but damn it this isn't easy!

Hi All,
As you all know, AH and I were taking things slow. He actually moved back in like two weeks ago so we can combine our finances and stuff, and I agreed cause he was sober almost 4 months. He knew when I let him move back that I was done with the whole "dance". One slip, outta here. I never let my guard down, and I'm still so thankful that I went thru what I went thru 5 mos. ago to get me to this point in my recovery.
Anyway, AH was supposed to go to his meeting tonite. I get a phone call, could tell right away that he was drunk. I hung up on him. He proceeded to call me many times and then came home. He said "I slipped" I told him "yes, and you had the choice of whether you slipped or not. When your active in your alcoholism, you don't have a choice, you need it. After 4 mos. you were sober when you made that choice. Not my problem, I'm done, leave". He tried for a second or two (before I cut him off) to say "well where am I gonna go?" I said "I got an idea, how about you call your buddies that you drank w/today and stay with them, cause you're not staying here, ever, I'm done". He was trying to stall for time. Told him to not make me do something that I don't want to do, not to call me at work, cell or home, I will call him to make arrangements for him to pick up his stuff". He tried to blame my sons for his relapse, cause they are unemployed right now. I just told him "if that makes you feel better". Then he said "I'm so sorry, I love you", and I said to him "I'm sorry too, and I love ME too. Leave" He has court on Friday, for his sake I hope he sobers up, but for now, it's not my problem. I'm waiting for my son to get home to take me to Lowes to change the locks so he can't come back in. See, to all of you out there, never let them catch you offguard, and always remember that relapse is a part of the disease. I made a decision after last time, I won't go thru this again, and I won't. Thanks to all of you here at SR for helping me become who I am today.