Archive for the ‘Bulls’ tag
why is this happening now?……………………
My boyfriend and i went to get a couple of bits before we go away for new year yesterday evening.
He bought himself 4 cans of 6% cider which didnt make me happy but as he said he didnt have to drink them all, so i just thought 'whatever'.
I left him to go home and i went back to my mums to sort all my washing and get my case packed ready for monday.
So i was talking with him online at 11pm and he suddenley dissappeared, i presumed he'd gone to bed.
He tells me half an hour ago that his sister turned up and took him back to his mum and dads house to spend some time with them. At that time of night?????? I doubt that very much!
They NEVER go to his house and at xmas they were all asleep by 9pm because of too much food and drink. So i dont feel i believe this 'story'.
Plus i find out he drank all the cider he had bought, which he admitted was too much but he got mad when i said i thought he shouldnt of done it.
He said' i just wanted to relax' OMG!
Have i just spent 4yrs of hell and him getting to a point were he was telling me he didnt need to drink to relax anymore ,to hear that AGAIN!!!
I feel like im banging my head on a brick wall, im the crazy one for even bringing it up and hes 'so upset right now' because ive questioned his drinking.
Oh and apparently i need to 'loosen up'!!!!!!!!!!!
I really am not looking forward to my holiday now cos i know theres gonna be this atmosphere and i'll be worried about this drinking.
He doesnt drink HALF as much as he did but the odd drunk episode STILL gets to me and i wish he could understand.
im so fed up with all this bulls**t.
He bought himself 4 cans of 6% cider which didnt make me happy but as he said he didnt have to drink them all, so i just thought 'whatever'.
I left him to go home and i went back to my mums to sort all my washing and get my case packed ready for monday.
So i was talking with him online at 11pm and he suddenley dissappeared, i presumed he'd gone to bed.
He tells me half an hour ago that his sister turned up and took him back to his mum and dads house to spend some time with them. At that time of night?????? I doubt that very much!
They NEVER go to his house and at xmas they were all asleep by 9pm because of too much food and drink. So i dont feel i believe this 'story'.
Plus i find out he drank all the cider he had bought, which he admitted was too much but he got mad when i said i thought he shouldnt of done it.
He said' i just wanted to relax' OMG!
Have i just spent 4yrs of hell and him getting to a point were he was telling me he didnt need to drink to relax anymore ,to hear that AGAIN!!!
I feel like im banging my head on a brick wall, im the crazy one for even bringing it up and hes 'so upset right now' because ive questioned his drinking.
Oh and apparently i need to 'loosen up'!!!!!!!!!!!
I really am not looking forward to my holiday now cos i know theres gonna be this atmosphere and i'll be worried about this drinking.
He doesnt drink HALF as much as he did but the odd drunk episode STILL gets to me and i wish he could understand.
im so fed up with all this bulls**t.
update of a new mom!
hello my friends,
Been busy lately, as you may guess! Let me update you of the past few months, since Mia's birth on 15th May.
As some of you know, Mia's dad is on probation for 18 months and needs to do one year in rehab. Considering i was pregnant, he was allowed to wait after i gave birth to start rehab.
We were a "normal" family for one month, where we enjoyed every moment of it. Of course there was always Rain's addiction, the fear for his life and all the disappointment addiction brings. But i am still grateful we could have this one month where he could bond with our daughter, and he was a wonderful lovng daddy.
End of June he went to rehab and Mia & I went to France for one month holidays and showing off. I think Mia is quite lucky: at one month + she already took the plane/train/bus/subway/ferry and already saw Hong Kong/Paris/France's country side + South of France!!
And it was SOOO great to be able to escape and do all that. My family and friends were of course delighted to see my little angel :)
One month later we came back to HK and went to visit Rain. We are allowed one visit per month and it's only supervised visitation, for now... It was really frustrating to see him but not being able to talk or hug freely :(
On top of that, we are only allowed to communicate by mail and Rain (who is in his "angry with the world phase") said "what's the point i write you a letter since they will read it and so i can only write bulls***"
Sooo i haven't had any news from him since last visit 3 weeks ago and i start to be really upset and sad. Anyway, i guess he is not in the mood but still, i feel communication is the key to relationship and if no news i feel we are drifting apart.
We'll visit him next WE so i guess i'll tell him how i feel.
So, some days are easier than others. Sometimes i feel really frustrated with the whole situation and lonely, some other times i feel great with my baby who is absolutely perfect!
I post some pics below.
We'll keep posted and think of you all.
xoxo
Carine
Been busy lately, as you may guess! Let me update you of the past few months, since Mia's birth on 15th May.
As some of you know, Mia's dad is on probation for 18 months and needs to do one year in rehab. Considering i was pregnant, he was allowed to wait after i gave birth to start rehab.
We were a "normal" family for one month, where we enjoyed every moment of it. Of course there was always Rain's addiction, the fear for his life and all the disappointment addiction brings. But i am still grateful we could have this one month where he could bond with our daughter, and he was a wonderful lovng daddy.
End of June he went to rehab and Mia & I went to France for one month holidays and showing off. I think Mia is quite lucky: at one month + she already took the plane/train/bus/subway/ferry and already saw Hong Kong/Paris/France's country side + South of France!!
And it was SOOO great to be able to escape and do all that. My family and friends were of course delighted to see my little angel :)
One month later we came back to HK and went to visit Rain. We are allowed one visit per month and it's only supervised visitation, for now... It was really frustrating to see him but not being able to talk or hug freely :(
On top of that, we are only allowed to communicate by mail and Rain (who is in his "angry with the world phase") said "what's the point i write you a letter since they will read it and so i can only write bulls***"
Sooo i haven't had any news from him since last visit 3 weeks ago and i start to be really upset and sad. Anyway, i guess he is not in the mood but still, i feel communication is the key to relationship and if no news i feel we are drifting apart.
We'll visit him next WE so i guess i'll tell him how i feel.
So, some days are easier than others. Sometimes i feel really frustrated with the whole situation and lonely, some other times i feel great with my baby who is absolutely perfect!
I post some pics below.
We'll keep posted and think of you all.
xoxo
Carine
