Drug Rehab Options Blog

Last night was hell. I knew I couldn't drink because of taking Antabuse. I had a very busy day of head & house cleaning and thought with only a couple days sobriety I could wear myself out physically to finally be able to sleep. Laid in that bed and my mind was spinning and my body couldn't relax. Couldn't focus even on one thought except what a waste my life has amounted to. Self loathing and memories (many of them) of being a failure and not being able to follow through with continuity in my life. The broken relationships and the time lost from boozing it up --- everything negative ran ramped in my mind. I don't know if I'll ever feel good about myself when I can't even face myself in the mirror -- really seeing me. I know the facades and wear them well but inside I am screaming!!! The pretty face that used to turn heads is now hard to even lift and look someone in the eye. I want this to get better but it seems like a nightmare that will never go away. I know you've felt this way too. Please share with me some of your thoughts and experiences so I feel "This Too Shall Pass"....

Another thing.... I just started on this website -- found it by accident. I'm having a hard time navigating through this thing!!! Is there anyone who can give me some step by step directions??? Am I allowed to post my e-mail address and get a someone's phone #??? Probably not. If you can help please let me know! Thanks!:skillet

Five days sober today. Was a busy day thank goodness. just got home a bit ago, husband is here, but he is so angry over my last drink episode that he wants me out, I am not leaving as I really have nowhere to go. He is ignoring me, being mean to me. He is a controlling man to begin with and now with his power he has he is putting me thru anything he can to hurt me. It is hard when I know that being a drunk is bout as bad as one can be, but I so wish he had a clue how hard it is to deal with and how no support is a killer. I think he might be trying to push me over the edge. I want to know if others husbands support their alcoholic wife or do they resent and hate them for not being able to just give it up and be normal just like that. Life can really be horrid at times. I have had to forgive for his lying, his cheating numerous times, abuse from his daughter, his treating me like his kid infront of his daughter. I could go on and on...I am getting on my knees every morning and night, praying to my higher power for help and strength and most of all, guidance. Just like to know how other women in same situation have it at home....would like to know how you handle it.

Courage to Change ODAT in Al-Anon II 8/21

Some Al-Anon suggestions, such as getting a sponsor, were easy for me because I’m good at following specific instructions. But I didn’t know what to do with the slogan, “Live and let live.” Al-Anon helped me to “let live” by teaching me about detachment and helping me to see that many of my problems stemmed from minding everyone’s business but my own. But how do you turn your eyes on yourself and “live” for the first time in your life?

When I put this question to my sponsor, she asked me one in turn—what had I done earlier that day? Although I’d had a very busy day, I could barely remember what I had been doing. My sponsor suggested that I begin learning how to live by becoming more aware of my life as I was already living it. Then I would be better able to make choices about how I would like to live.

Searching for the real me, living according to my needs, and loving myself as a new-found friend have been the most rewarding benefits of the Al-Anon program. Strangely, theyÂ’re the last ones I would have imagined receiving when I began.

TodayÂ’s Reminder

Today I can choose to take responsibility for my own life. If I stay out of othersÂ’ affairs and become more aware of my own, I have a good chance of finding some serenity.

“Each man’s life represents a road toward himself.”

Hermann Hesse