Drug Rehab Options Blog

My boyfriend and i went to get a couple of bits before we go away for new year yesterday evening.
He bought himself 4 cans of 6% cider which didnt make me happy but as he said he didnt have to drink them all, so i just thought 'whatever'.
I left him to go home and i went back to my mums to sort all my washing and get my case packed ready for monday.
So i was talking with him online at 11pm and he suddenley dissappeared, i presumed he'd gone to bed.
He tells me half an hour ago that his sister turned up and took him back to his mum and dads house to spend some time with them. At that time of night?????? I doubt that very much!
They NEVER go to his house and at xmas they were all asleep by 9pm because of too much food and drink. So i dont feel i believe this 'story'.
Plus i find out he drank all the cider he had bought, which he admitted was too much but he got mad when i said i thought he shouldnt of done it.
He said' i just wanted to relax' OMG!
Have i just spent 4yrs of hell and him getting to a point were he was telling me he didnt need to drink to relax anymore ,to hear that AGAIN!!!

I feel like im banging my head on a brick wall, im the crazy one for even bringing it up and hes 'so upset right now' because ive questioned his drinking.

Oh and apparently i need to 'loosen up'!!!!!!!!!!!

I really am not looking forward to my holiday now cos i know theres gonna be this atmosphere and i'll be worried about this drinking.

He doesnt drink HALF as much as he did but the odd drunk episode STILL gets to me and i wish he could understand.

im so fed up with all this bulls**t.

Hi. I just stumbled on this site while looking for ways to help me stop drinking, and I thought registering would be a good idea.

I am 27 years old. My mother passed away in 2001. That's when I started drinking more and more. At first, it was a beer. Then came the bottles of rum. For a time, I was very depressed, and I used to drink almost everyday 3 cans (50 cl.) of 10° beer, with the occasional bottle of rum thrown in. As long as I have alcohol in my house, I'm tempted to drink it.

I don't like this. Not at all. I want to break free, and I believe I can do it. I'm posting here instead of the other forum, though, because personally I am against the 12-step program of AA and the involvement of God. And accepting the fact that it is an "illness" (sorry if some of this offends you, it's just what I think). It is, unfortunately, an addiction.

Lately, my life took a turn for the better. I found a well-paying job, which I really love. Drinking has been intermittent. Sometimes I drank, sometimes I didn't. Lately it feels almost like I'm in control of it (and the key word is "almost"). The urge to drink has been minor (but nonetheless present, although sated with only a gulp of beer or a slightly spiked coffee). I've rarely let alcohol compromise my job position, even less recently. I can go by days without drinking, or drinking a very slight amount of something (but this has been after a big party where there was no one left standing at the end). I've limited alcohol to social appearances and forbid it at home, and so far I'm standing fast (but then again, I got drunk at the aforementioned party).

To make a long story short, I feel like this is the moment I can manage to get this beast on a chain. The dull pain i feel in my chest, in someplace that COULD be my liver, may help.

I think I may be an alcoholic. I want to stop. I want to get it under control if possible, eliminate it if not. I wanted to join a support group, but I live in a foreign country, and I don't speak the national language here. Any advice you will give me will be most welcome.

I normally post on F&F, but thought my question might be better suited for over here. Little history.....my husband is 44, has been drinking since age 16, mostly beer, some vodka. Progressed to an 18-30 cans a day over the past year. Within the last couple months he has "cut back" to weekend drinking only for the most part (still 18-30/day).

Anyway, I'm a little concerned about him because yesterday he made a comment that he cut himself shaving and couldn't get it to stop. Today he has been very fatigued, and has been eating Tums like candy. I believe he last drank on Monday night. He refuses to go to a doctor, does not believe the amount of alcohol he drinks could be harmful, and is not interested in counseling or AA. I'm doing what i need to take care of myself and our kids, but I still worry about him and his health. Any insight into what's going on? I know I can't help him or make him change, only he can do that, but anyone else who has been on his side of this have advice? Thanks for letting me visit over here!

Hi guys, I know I am only new here (today), but I am starting to stuggle, and have no support, well I do, I have my wonderfull husband and my oldest daughter who is 19, but I can beat them with all sorts of excuses and good intentions, I never lie, but they fall for any reason I give then about being in controll or that it is better for me to have another drink.

I am cutting down on my intake because I don't want to detox in a center again because it is so far from my husband and children and if I go back they will keep me there for 3-4 months and we can't afford for my family to travel & visit me, my children are my life, and I quit rehab last time because I couldn't see them, and I ended up severely depressed.

Also they put me on drugs to stop seizures, which are some of the same I had a 12 year addiction to (I have been clean from them for 12 years now) and I like thm too much, they scare the bejebers out of me, so I need to do it this way.

I used to drink 3ltres of wine per day 14% and had to detox in a center because of seizures, now I am down to 10 cans per day of beers at 4%, I need to knock off 2 cans per day now, to get to a point where I can safely detox at home, but now I am struggling.

I am scared, and the more scared I get, the more I want a drink, it sux big time and I feel like I am close to losing it and going backward.

I guess I am asking for some tips/tricks/hints on keeping on reducing my intake so I can stop in a few days time.

Any help would be so appreciated, thankyou guys.

Hi All

I was searching the internet for some information on short term memory loss and came across this site so joined as I think I need support and can offer support as well.

I'm from an addictive background I have 2 brothers both struggling with compulsions drinking, gamling, drugs etc

I luckily joined the Army at 17 so never took drugs, but I do smoke,drink and gamble to much.

I'm a Christian and Christianity is growing stronger in me almost daily has been for a few years and maybe this forum and its loving supporters can keep me on straight and narrow and hopefully i can do same for others.

Ok so Drinking. I'm not at the dependency stage yet ( i dont think ) though Ive never gone longer than 3 or 4 days without a drink unless I've say been on tour in Afg for 6 months (last tour 06), I do drink most days and most days maybe 2 or 3 cans of lager OR half a bottle to a bottle of wine. And then on special times ie Fridays Weekend or social events A good skinful, 8-10 pints (20 units) so my weekly cosumption probably around 60-100 units.

I also have trouble with Gambling Especially when Drinking or if Ive abstained for a few weeks / months, but drinking is worse as I play internet poker and I play recklessly when drinking and have huge swings one minute I can be up $500 even a $1000 on $3 $6 table and an hour later lost all winnings and $600 from bank account. Crazy

I keep saying to myself I wont play again but I do start sober play very carefully and play quite well, I can hold my own Ive played it for enough years but to be honest the I can play quite well is the worst thing cos that gets you playing again, be better if i lost everyday.

The Memory loss its getting worse and Im only 39, main loss is forgetting peoples names, i was sat in garden earlier, we got 3 rabbits and 2 guinea pigs had them a couple of years i struggled to remember there names I go to church most sundays I know the congregation but I struggle to remember there names, I think its from the alcohol maybe somebody could throw more light on it maybe i should do memory exercises take my brain to the Gym???

Love to All

Anth
x

i just had a flash of anger this morning thinking about all the steps i have taken in the past week or so -- going to my first al-anon meeting, making an appointment with a counselor, etc. -- and was struck by this thought:

why in the heck do i need help?

i'm not trying to be in denial here. but i've read the literature; i'm not an enabler. i don't buy him beer, don't lie for him or cover up, don't hide his alcohol, count the number of cans or pour it out. i don't wait dinner, call him to find out where he is, and i quit waiting up for him to come home a long time ago. i'm not a martyr; i only turn to my friends and family when things have reached a crisis stage, just like i would for any difficult situation in which i find myself.

i'm reasonably certain i'm not a codependent (i'm not sure how i feel about that whole movement anyway) -- i read the "patterns of co-dependency," and the only thing i've done on that list is stayed in a "harmful situation" too long and sometimes tempered my feelings or actions when AH is drinking.

why do i need help?

i'm not the one who falls out of a vehicle and gashes my head and almost breaks my ribs. i'm not the one who makes an ass of myself at family gatherings or has lost all of my non-drinking friends. i don't walk into walls, curse the neighbor, let the dog out and forget about him.

it's lovely to talk to other people here or at al-anon who know what i'm going through. but i'm a reasonable, rational, logical person who knows that i am in a difficult situation and that i might be better if i were out of it.

why in the heck do i need help?

thanks for letting me vent ...

150 days, thats how long I've been sober as of today, not really that long when I think about it, longer though than any time I've been sober in the last 18 years probably.

Managed 10 weeks in summer 2007 and apart from that no more than a few days here and there.

Not that long in days but today I was just thinking to myself how far I've come in terms of my journey.

I used to drink a minimum of a half bottle of vodka a day ( throughout the week I'd buy it by the half bottle in order to keep to that ) but at the weekends I got a bit more out of hand. Would normally buy a litre bottle on a saturday with the idea that it got me through the saturday and sunday.

The vodka was always hidden and drunk in secret, I'd always have some cans of beer on the go which was what people saw me drink.

The litre bottle often didn't last me though and I'd be waiting at 12.30 ( in the UK you can't buy alcohol on a sunday untill then ) to be able to buy more to see me through.

The reason sunday was always different for me was it was the one day when I didn't suffer, I'd never drink and then work although I have been at work still ........... from the night before or really hungover.

Sunday's though, if I felt rough I'd just start drinking again straight away, wasn't unknown for me to have a beer at 7.00 am before the family were up and then pouring some vodka ( presuming I'd some left) into a oj carton, before taking a shower in the en-suite, then joining the family for breakfast glowing so to speak.

In fact looking back I spent a lot of time locked in the en-suite sneaking vodka, quite sad, funny don't think of myself as a sad person.

How great it is to have that behind me, no sneaking, lying, worrying about getting empty bottles discretly discarded.

No more panic attacks on a sunday night when I realise there's no way I'm going to be in much of a state for work the next day.

Just a great normal day spent with my wife and children today.

Thing is, there will be millions of people all over the world who feel like this every day and just take it for granted as they've never experienced having a problem with alcohol, and they'll never know how lucky they are.

Sorry for the self indulgent post folks, I'll go back to just taking the micky tomorrow - promise

Sure, you all are a great group of people, but really I'd rather spend my Friday night on a Chocolate Lovers forum, or how about a Backyard Water Garden forum. I take responsibility for the choices I've made that got me in this situation, and even the choices that have kept me here, but I'm getting very tired.

A couple weeks ago AH confronted me for being cold. He decided he would abstain from alcohol Monday through Thursday and only drink on weekends. As far as I know he has done that. He's been helpful, engaging in conversation, great with the kids. Then comes Friday. He is a barbaric caveman slurring his speech, passing gas on purpose, and in bed snoring by 8pm. Weekends are supposed to be a time of recharging, enjoying your family.

He can talk to me for 30 seconds and have me believing I'm the crazy one. He went for months and drank 18-30 cans of beer a day, 7 days a week. Then I stopped counting. He got better at sneaking, and added vodka to the mix. He can convince me in an instant that this is normal alcohol intake and that I'm a prude. It's fear that keeps me here. He says he will tell the kids I took their daddy away. He says he won't pay a cent of child support no matter what he has to do. I'm afraid of what people will say. At 44 years old I'm afraid my parents will be disappointed in me.

I know I'm entrenched in codependent behavior. Decisions are almost impossible for me. I can spend 30 minutes trying to decide what salad dressing to buy, get to the checkout line and change my mind again.....only to get home and discover I forgot to get the one thing I went to the store for to begin with. I don't know, maybe I am the crazy one........

Man it is so frustrating! I haven't worked for a few months after heavy drinking, I'm presently living with my dad and he's currently taken up work.


Now I have told him every day for a few weeks don't get me any alcohol, but he gets it every day. I seriously want to cry - he knows I have a problem I think, and I try to make him realize by 7 in the evening I am over the worst - but it's no good. I tell him I'm getting mini seizures...no good. I've seriously asked my sister if I could move in with her but she said no, I don't really blame her, she has her hands full with her kids. It's just incredibly hard - I don#t think my dad cares. He says stuff like 4 cans of beer arent too bad, even though I always drink more.

I don#t know where I could go go with no funds, when you spend most of the day trying not to drink.....

Well, I've got to get my room cleaned out today. Where I live, we are having inspections this week, and though the rest of my house is in decent shape (don't try the white glove thing, you'll need a gallon of bleach to get it white again!) my room is the pile up spot in the house. The problem is, the more I clean, the more empty beer bottles/cans/caps I find. It's driving me NUTS! As if that stupid voice won't shut up about going to the beer store, everywhere I look is empty beer bottles. I'm not sure how I'm going to do this, but I have no choice.

I don't know how I'm going to do this. I wish there was someone I could call to help me clean it out and not feel so anxious about it. But there isn't. I've called others in my AA group, I've tried to read my Big Book, today's inspirations, everything. The words just aren't making sense to me today.

Well, sorry, just had to vent. Now I'm going to try to spend the next 5 minutes cleaning my room and staying sober! I just pray I don't find a full can of beer I got too drunk and didn't drink one night!