Archive for the ‘Career’ tag
My story.
Hi Everyone,
I am new to this forum. I would like to share my story on how I quit drinking, with all of you. I truly hope it helps someone else.
I started drinking 13 years back. Yeah, the number 13 is lucky for me. I began my drinking career :) drinking only beer every weekend. It was to socialize at that time. Initially I never drank the hard stuff but thats how most people begin I guess. Those days I could go a weekend or 2 without drinking. but never used to touch alcohol on the weekdays. Then, in 2003 I moved to a new country and started living by myself. Loneliness and work pressure was getting to me. I gave up on beer since I felt I was putting on weight from beer(alcohol is any form makes you put on the extra pounds which I learnt only later), so I started drinking white rum to overcome depression and kill my time. It started with a couple of drinks on a friday which invariably spilled over to saturday as well. I smoke too so my smoking increased 5 fold everytime I drank.Then, since 2004 I started drinking on Sundays as well and then a Monday, tuesday, etc etc etc. My drinking became full fledged. I drank everyday. I drank when I was happy, when I was sad, lonely, angry, anything and everything. I used to start with a drink or 2 but due to years of drinking, 2 started feeling insufficient. I wasnt getting the buzz so I drank 3 maybe even 4 sometimes. And on weekends I would finish 3/4ths of a 750 ml bacardi white in one sitting. If I didnt drink, I didnt know what else to do. I was bored, no one to motivate me to quit. I was fighting with loved ones over the phone. I was becoming a pain for everyone. I was hurting people I loved.
It all changed 3 months back when I got married. Both me and my wife wanted to have a kid right away. I tried to get her pregnant but couldnt. Was my sperm count screwed up? Can I never become a father? These were the questions I was asking myself. My dreams were fading away right before my eyes. I was scared. But like a true alcoholic, I went right back to drinking thinking bacardi would save my life and increase my sperm count in some miraculous way.It didnt. Time was running out. Then one fine day, I went through my bank transactions. Believe it or not, I was buying a bottle of alcohol every 3 days since the last 5 years. This got me crapped out.The money spent didnt worry me as much as did the amount being consumed. I quit cold turkey. Its now been 2 weeks/2 weekends. I have never gone a single weekend without a drink in the last 13 years even in my beer drinking days.
How did I do it?
I am not going to talk about determination and big words along those lines. I simply want to have a kid at whatever cost. This is my goal. I have read many articles on the net which say that the sperm count increases after 3 months of alcohol abstainance. So you need to have a goal.
How did I go about achieving it? Well, I found an substitute. It may sound silly to many of you. I drink a cup or 2 of coffee with lots of milk every evening I get the craving. In my case, I cant drink after I eat food or drink milk in any form coz I throw up. Once I drink the coffee, the craving goes away right way which makes me think its all in the mind. So, find a substitute. Find something to eat or drink which you feel will interfere with your drinks. I am sure every alcoholic avoids at least one food item before every drink. Try it.
Pros:
I feel so much happier and energetic.
I have gotten back to playing cricket over the weekend of which I was a member since 2003 but never went even once. Now I am a regular.
I wake up earlier on weekends and do things around the house. I wake up looking forward to the day.
I catch up on movies I missed out over the last several years.
I am back to weight training which was my passion at some stage in my life and I see some positive results showing on my body.
No more monday morning blues.
No more arguments with people I love.
And the best part, I'll be able to become a father soon. I cant wait.
My family and friends are proud of me.
Cons:
The only con as far I am concerned is that I smoke more on the weekends now. But I plan to quit this as well. One nasty habit at a time :).
Know when I felt totally proud of myself? Last weekend a friend called me over for a couple of beers. But I said "Sorry, I quit drinking". I felt like on top of this world.
And for the first time ever, this new year's eve I wont be drinking. I have never missed a new year drinking celebration since I turned to alcohol all those years back.
If this post helps someone else out there, I'll be the happiest. Thanks for reading.
Good luck. You can do it!!!!!!
Cheers,
Raj
I am new to this forum. I would like to share my story on how I quit drinking, with all of you. I truly hope it helps someone else.
I started drinking 13 years back. Yeah, the number 13 is lucky for me. I began my drinking career :) drinking only beer every weekend. It was to socialize at that time. Initially I never drank the hard stuff but thats how most people begin I guess. Those days I could go a weekend or 2 without drinking. but never used to touch alcohol on the weekdays. Then, in 2003 I moved to a new country and started living by myself. Loneliness and work pressure was getting to me. I gave up on beer since I felt I was putting on weight from beer(alcohol is any form makes you put on the extra pounds which I learnt only later), so I started drinking white rum to overcome depression and kill my time. It started with a couple of drinks on a friday which invariably spilled over to saturday as well. I smoke too so my smoking increased 5 fold everytime I drank.Then, since 2004 I started drinking on Sundays as well and then a Monday, tuesday, etc etc etc. My drinking became full fledged. I drank everyday. I drank when I was happy, when I was sad, lonely, angry, anything and everything. I used to start with a drink or 2 but due to years of drinking, 2 started feeling insufficient. I wasnt getting the buzz so I drank 3 maybe even 4 sometimes. And on weekends I would finish 3/4ths of a 750 ml bacardi white in one sitting. If I didnt drink, I didnt know what else to do. I was bored, no one to motivate me to quit. I was fighting with loved ones over the phone. I was becoming a pain for everyone. I was hurting people I loved.
It all changed 3 months back when I got married. Both me and my wife wanted to have a kid right away. I tried to get her pregnant but couldnt. Was my sperm count screwed up? Can I never become a father? These were the questions I was asking myself. My dreams were fading away right before my eyes. I was scared. But like a true alcoholic, I went right back to drinking thinking bacardi would save my life and increase my sperm count in some miraculous way.It didnt. Time was running out. Then one fine day, I went through my bank transactions. Believe it or not, I was buying a bottle of alcohol every 3 days since the last 5 years. This got me crapped out.The money spent didnt worry me as much as did the amount being consumed. I quit cold turkey. Its now been 2 weeks/2 weekends. I have never gone a single weekend without a drink in the last 13 years even in my beer drinking days.
How did I do it?
I am not going to talk about determination and big words along those lines. I simply want to have a kid at whatever cost. This is my goal. I have read many articles on the net which say that the sperm count increases after 3 months of alcohol abstainance. So you need to have a goal.
How did I go about achieving it? Well, I found an substitute. It may sound silly to many of you. I drink a cup or 2 of coffee with lots of milk every evening I get the craving. In my case, I cant drink after I eat food or drink milk in any form coz I throw up. Once I drink the coffee, the craving goes away right way which makes me think its all in the mind. So, find a substitute. Find something to eat or drink which you feel will interfere with your drinks. I am sure every alcoholic avoids at least one food item before every drink. Try it.
Pros:
I feel so much happier and energetic.
I have gotten back to playing cricket over the weekend of which I was a member since 2003 but never went even once. Now I am a regular.
I wake up earlier on weekends and do things around the house. I wake up looking forward to the day.
I catch up on movies I missed out over the last several years.
I am back to weight training which was my passion at some stage in my life and I see some positive results showing on my body.
No more monday morning blues.
No more arguments with people I love.
And the best part, I'll be able to become a father soon. I cant wait.
My family and friends are proud of me.
Cons:
The only con as far I am concerned is that I smoke more on the weekends now. But I plan to quit this as well. One nasty habit at a time :).
Know when I felt totally proud of myself? Last weekend a friend called me over for a couple of beers. But I said "Sorry, I quit drinking". I felt like on top of this world.
And for the first time ever, this new year's eve I wont be drinking. I have never missed a new year drinking celebration since I turned to alcohol all those years back.
If this post helps someone else out there, I'll be the happiest. Thanks for reading.
Good luck. You can do it!!!!!!
Cheers,
Raj
I feel trapped (This is a whiney post, so be warned…)
I don’t like doing this but I felt like I had to put my whininess out here. I would have put it in Whiners Anonymous, but it’s a little too long (besides, I like using WA for more humorous complaints).
It’s not exactly a bad day, but not good, either. I'm starting to get that pseudo-panicky feeling (I’m not quite sure how to describe it)...like I just need to get far away from everyone (myself included). I drank a fair amount last night and want more tonight, but I'm not leaving the house to get any.
I'm not where I need to be in life. I do not know how to get to where I want to go. Organizational skills would help but I seem to be lacking in that department. I'm getting too old for this crap. I'm supposed to be a self-sufficient person. I hate depending upon people. I'm not even living on my own right now. When I was on my own, I was living in a crappy apartment making it paycheck to paycheck and wasting my "disposable income" on tons of booze.
I've never had a good job my entire working career. I have a degree and I flip burgers for a living. I am stuck working a low wage job with no hopes for better employment. As much as I told myself that I was not going to let it bother me this time around, I don’t know how to do that. All I’m doing right now is dreading tomorrow in that negative workplace. I deserve so much better than what I do now. I just need someone in this crappy town to give me a freakin’ chance. I am a great worker plus I can think for myself. I do not need to be micromanaged and I am dependable.
I am lonely. I am starved for face to face adult conversation. I do not know how to take charge of my “happiness level”. I cannot “think it and be it”. I cannot “fake it until I make it”. With each day that passes I feel like I know less and that means confusion galore. Nothing makes any sense to me--add that onto the fact that I’ve always felt out of place. I’m so tired of not knowing what I should do, of not knowing what will work for me.
This makes me so mad. I was creating art work again. I was getting excited about it. I haven’t done anything with it today because the motivation is simply not there. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just produce? The desire is there, but I don’t know how to get back what it is that I lost. I feel like there’s a part of me that’s a little dead inside.
It’s not exactly a bad day, but not good, either. I'm starting to get that pseudo-panicky feeling (I’m not quite sure how to describe it)...like I just need to get far away from everyone (myself included). I drank a fair amount last night and want more tonight, but I'm not leaving the house to get any.
I'm not where I need to be in life. I do not know how to get to where I want to go. Organizational skills would help but I seem to be lacking in that department. I'm getting too old for this crap. I'm supposed to be a self-sufficient person. I hate depending upon people. I'm not even living on my own right now. When I was on my own, I was living in a crappy apartment making it paycheck to paycheck and wasting my "disposable income" on tons of booze.
I've never had a good job my entire working career. I have a degree and I flip burgers for a living. I am stuck working a low wage job with no hopes for better employment. As much as I told myself that I was not going to let it bother me this time around, I don’t know how to do that. All I’m doing right now is dreading tomorrow in that negative workplace. I deserve so much better than what I do now. I just need someone in this crappy town to give me a freakin’ chance. I am a great worker plus I can think for myself. I do not need to be micromanaged and I am dependable.
I am lonely. I am starved for face to face adult conversation. I do not know how to take charge of my “happiness level”. I cannot “think it and be it”. I cannot “fake it until I make it”. With each day that passes I feel like I know less and that means confusion galore. Nothing makes any sense to me--add that onto the fact that I’ve always felt out of place. I’m so tired of not knowing what I should do, of not knowing what will work for me.
This makes me so mad. I was creating art work again. I was getting excited about it. I haven’t done anything with it today because the motivation is simply not there. What is wrong with me? Why can’t I just produce? The desire is there, but I don’t know how to get back what it is that I lost. I feel like there’s a part of me that’s a little dead inside.
My story and why its sticking this time.
Hi! I just wanted to share today for some reason. Yesterday I was on the phone with a friend from SR and she asked me to tell her when it started with me and how long it took to progress to the point that I "had" to stop. It was something I hadn't really thought about until then. It helped me see through the fog of this disease and also the fact is I CAN'T have another go with the alcohol and so here's my story for those that want to get a cup of java and have a read. Don't blame you if you don't have time, but I wrote it as much for myself as anybody else.
When alcohol entered my life and continued to dominate me -
I started drinking in high school and believe it or not, at age 16 I held out the longest at parties. We lived in a rural area and there wasn't a lot for us to do and I quite often found the wrong things to do. My drinking right off started with binging and then being so hung over I couldn't go to school on Monday. I wasn't the type of person that put it down because of the sickness I endured. I was drawn to it because it made me less shy and more outgoing.
This started my drinking career and while I went to college I developed an even stronger urge for the drink. I was drinking more then on weekends and I wasn't getting as sick. It was the perfect place for consuming alcohol because everyone I knew was "partying." I was the only one that continued the cycle after college and continued drinking more and more even after I left college and "started" my life.
I lived in Chicago for years and the law firm I worked at were all into heavy partying. I missed many days of work because of it, but it was never questioned because they would joke about those out due to a hangover. It was again an accepted environment for this lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to.
I did eventually attend AA in Chicago and was able to keep sober for a few months, but I never felt I was part of the program and why, because my disease kept whispering in my ear, "You aren't one of them. They are far worse then you and therefore, you can't be an alcoholic." Alas - I quit the program and continued to drink again well into my 30s.
I have been married to my husband for 19 years this coming April and we almost did not realize the joy of parenting and why - because I told myself I could not give up drinking and smoking long enough to be pregnant or to parent. I was - get this - going to forfeit becoming a mother because of alcohol. I still didn't see that as an alcoholic mind which is mind blowing to me now. How could I not see it at that point! I did eventually get pregnant and I never drank nor smoked during the pregnancy, but I did eventually pick up the alcohol again when my son was around 1 years old. It may have been before that, but I am not sure. Point is I returned to drinking and it was worse.
I have found that alcohol almost took my son away from me, it took a lot of memories away from me, it caused many black outs for me, and it made me sicker then a dog most of my life so far. Can I ever return to alcohol? Only if I don't care about myself, my son or my husband and you see that's not going to happen.
I told her (my friend) that Grandma was talking with my son one day and said, "Let's have a party. What should we buy for the party?" My then 4 year old son said, "We have to get a box of wine Grandma." A 4 year old should be saying "Balloons, cake, candles and what not - NOT wine! That was a turning point and I guess these things were beginning to add up.
When a newcomer comes on this site and wonders what made you finally successful in quitting. I want to say that the blanket of alcoholism was lifted for me and I finally couldn't hide beneath it anymore. There are too many reasons why I can't drink and why its the enemy and no longer the friend I kept telling myself it was. The blanket developed holes and I was soon able to see through it. It became tattered and I could no longer hide beneath it. I decided to throw it away and that is how I came to be sober. It has to stick this time because there isn't any other option.
I have this post to refer to now when that voice comes back saying, "You can drink normal. You didn't have a "real" problem to begin with." I can now turn my back to it and walk away. I got sober for these reasons and I continue to say sober thanks to SR and the people here. Thank you for the phone conversation yesterday because it helped me see more clearly. I had been flirting with relapse and I know that now. It was in the back of my mind, but not today. I know the holidays will be tough, but I will return to this post and reread it. That should do the trick.
:ghug
When alcohol entered my life and continued to dominate me -
I started drinking in high school and believe it or not, at age 16 I held out the longest at parties. We lived in a rural area and there wasn't a lot for us to do and I quite often found the wrong things to do. My drinking right off started with binging and then being so hung over I couldn't go to school on Monday. I wasn't the type of person that put it down because of the sickness I endured. I was drawn to it because it made me less shy and more outgoing.
This started my drinking career and while I went to college I developed an even stronger urge for the drink. I was drinking more then on weekends and I wasn't getting as sick. It was the perfect place for consuming alcohol because everyone I knew was "partying." I was the only one that continued the cycle after college and continued drinking more and more even after I left college and "started" my life.
I lived in Chicago for years and the law firm I worked at were all into heavy partying. I missed many days of work because of it, but it was never questioned because they would joke about those out due to a hangover. It was again an accepted environment for this lifestyle that I had grown accustomed to.
I did eventually attend AA in Chicago and was able to keep sober for a few months, but I never felt I was part of the program and why, because my disease kept whispering in my ear, "You aren't one of them. They are far worse then you and therefore, you can't be an alcoholic." Alas - I quit the program and continued to drink again well into my 30s.
I have been married to my husband for 19 years this coming April and we almost did not realize the joy of parenting and why - because I told myself I could not give up drinking and smoking long enough to be pregnant or to parent. I was - get this - going to forfeit becoming a mother because of alcohol. I still didn't see that as an alcoholic mind which is mind blowing to me now. How could I not see it at that point! I did eventually get pregnant and I never drank nor smoked during the pregnancy, but I did eventually pick up the alcohol again when my son was around 1 years old. It may have been before that, but I am not sure. Point is I returned to drinking and it was worse.
I have found that alcohol almost took my son away from me, it took a lot of memories away from me, it caused many black outs for me, and it made me sicker then a dog most of my life so far. Can I ever return to alcohol? Only if I don't care about myself, my son or my husband and you see that's not going to happen.
I told her (my friend) that Grandma was talking with my son one day and said, "Let's have a party. What should we buy for the party?" My then 4 year old son said, "We have to get a box of wine Grandma." A 4 year old should be saying "Balloons, cake, candles and what not - NOT wine! That was a turning point and I guess these things were beginning to add up.
When a newcomer comes on this site and wonders what made you finally successful in quitting. I want to say that the blanket of alcoholism was lifted for me and I finally couldn't hide beneath it anymore. There are too many reasons why I can't drink and why its the enemy and no longer the friend I kept telling myself it was. The blanket developed holes and I was soon able to see through it. It became tattered and I could no longer hide beneath it. I decided to throw it away and that is how I came to be sober. It has to stick this time because there isn't any other option.
I have this post to refer to now when that voice comes back saying, "You can drink normal. You didn't have a "real" problem to begin with." I can now turn my back to it and walk away. I got sober for these reasons and I continue to say sober thanks to SR and the people here. Thank you for the phone conversation yesterday because it helped me see more clearly. I had been flirting with relapse and I know that now. It was in the back of my mind, but not today. I know the holidays will be tough, but I will return to this post and reread it. That should do the trick.
:ghug
