Drug Rehab Options Blog

My husband and I separated a month and a half ago. It was an ugly mess at the time. He was binge drinking and making my life a living hell. He was living life so wrecklessly that I had to make him choose. It was his family or his bottle. Well, he chose the bottlte and it wasn't any surprise. I knew that it would happen that way. I guess it made it more bearable knowing that he chose his own path. He moved in with his mother and for quite some time he didn't call or contact us. It was a little painful at first but it got easier to handle. He started calling at odd hours...like 2:00 in the morning! He would call me a few choice words and hang up. You know...my heart began to feel nothing. I stopped crying silently in the shower. I told him years ago to stop calling me names and acting like such an idiot that eventually I wouldn't love him the same way anymore. Well, it happened and when the chill hit him his attitude changed towards me. But now I know its too late. Now, he's a wreck. He cries and says that without his family he's nothing, he wants to die, etc. I care for him and don't want anything to happen to him. I believe that he's sincere in his threats. He's bipolar without meds and a heavy drinker. I told him last night that I thought that was a silly thing to say because even without me he still has his children. He hung up in my face.I know that this is another game to make me feel like crap so I'll cave but it really is bothering me today. Help me put this in perspective please.

Last year I was in my treatment center and for the holidays we went to a unity church for a burning bowl ceremony. We were all invited to write letters to ourselves to be mailed back to us a year letter. I just got mine. :)

When I wrote that letter I was in a lot of pain, had tons of self-pity, regret, resentments, anger, every bad emotion you can think of. I remember I was bawling my eyes out the entire time I wrote the letter to myself because I felt absolutely hopeless. Even though everything I wrote was totally hopeful. I really wanted to feel so way on the other end of where I was at last year this time.

How cool it is to read what I wrote about my sons, myself and everything that I wanted to apply to myself today. "Love, joy, peace, understanding, strength and determination." "Keeping things simple but working hard so I can enjoy the rewards of my labors." How I wished for everyone else feeling the same thing to find the things that they/I wanted. "Full of life, serenity, safety and comfort where I'm at." I have all of those things today.

I had chill bumps all up and down my arms while I read it, as well as a big fat smile on my face. How freakin' cool!!!!!!!

Thanks for letting me share. :)

Ok, I'm not going to go all into this, but I wanted to just vent a bit.

Parents are overprotective and overinvolved in my quest for sobriety. Husband is pretty ignorant to the nuances of addiction/alcoholism. Parents are alcoholics, 13 years dry. Husband drinks a beer once a week.

They cannot come together, and i'm stuck in the middle. My parents stop by my house, joined my gym, call, e mail a LOT. If I don't respond immediately, they assume I'm drinking (in the past, sometimes because I WAS), so I understand. BUt I'm married, my husband sees how crazy this makes me.

He's the opposite, very hands off, likely enabling without even knowing it. We have been married for 3 years, we're still figuring out the marriage thing, and make mistakes sometimes. He's as supportive as he can be, with the tools he has.

Most recently the three of them have had 'words'. My hubby telling them to back off, them getting feelings hurt and backing off WAY more than necessary, I'm sure they are hurt that he told them his frustrations. They 're mad because they don't see him AS involved as he should. See the polar opposites? My parents think I need to be in AA every day, in therapy, in a facility. My husband is opposite, thinks I need to "chill", and watch how much I drink.

I KNOW I cannot drink. I cannot take care of everyone else.. while I try to care for myself. Breaks my damn heart that everyone I love is having such a hard time not only with my issues, but with each other.

My parents likely have some regrets from our past, my hubby is just simply inexperienced, period.

Drives me nuts! Thanks for letting me spill that all over the place!!

I'm being torn in half, and trying to stay stober. Torn between overinvolved parents and underinvolved husband. Alcoholics 13 years sober, no treatment, no counseling (my parents), the 1-2 beer a week drinker with no history of alcoholism/problems with alcohol.

right now im really struggling with finding joy in my recovery. i know that life is supposed to get better when i get sober and work the program, but im finding it really hard to enjoy my life these days. i have one good friend left outside of the program but he's gettin ready to leave for the border patrol. i suck at meetin new people, and right now i really have no desire at all to get close to anyone. i hardly chill with anyone anymore because lately i've been feelin like i'd rather stick to myself. my sponsor is goin thru health problems and will be undergoing a big surgery soon so im pretty worried about that. im in over my head in debt and im not makin enough money in my current job to pay it off and still pay my bills. im feeling exhausted and its gettin too damn hard to try to convince myself that im happy with the way i feel. and im really scared of gettin back into drugs again which has been on my mind alot lately. i talk to my sponsor but its still hard opening up all the time. i dont know what to do anymore. i dont want to throw away the clean time i have but i also dont want to keep feeling this way.

Well today was beautiful here and my AH was invited to go to a college football game w/ my D and his bestfriend and his D. My AH got up was heading to the garage...of course I followed him there to find him behind his car chugging some wine (poured into an old oj bottle). He was to be the driver to the game today. Of course I flipped out on him and he knew he was dead meat! I told him to call his friend and have his friend drive instead and to tell his friend why. All he replied was "I just has a sup" I told him I did not care if it was a sup or not, he was not going to drive...period. His friend is aware of my H's problem (of 20+ years) so I knew he would understand. I asked what he was going to do with the bottle, he told me he needed it for a little bit. As long as he was not driving, I really did not care and I took it to the fridge to "chill" where I told him it was. I had to go out for awhile (errands) and when I came home, the empty bottle was on the counter. He told me he had alittle more and threw the rest out. He did not appear to be drunk. He had done so well over the summer and slipped up a few weeks ago. I knew he had and he insisted (as they all do) it was just a blip in the radar and he will be fine once again(yeah right). I have to admit I felt good over challanging him on this one and not letting him drive regardless. He has always been a "closet functional alcohoholic" for many years. I know in my heart it probably will eventually kill him. I just don't want him to kill anyone else on the roads. Was I right in what I did? I am trying also to detatch but it is hard when you live with someone. I have a son in college, D 14years old who does not know of her father's problem...he has always been good in disguising it...every trick in the book, holds a good job but is slowly destroying himself physically (and mentally). I choose to live for my children and not for him or make excuses any more. Comments welcome Peace to all