Archive for the ‘Chomping At The Bit’ tag
Thankful and sad
This is going to be long.
In my home it was wonderful and full of love, joy. My daughter spent a couple of hours making these cute cupcakes with edible turkeys on them. I think cupcakes have replaced Big Macs as her comfort food :)
When it was time to pray she was chomping at the bit and asked to say it this year. That took us all by surprise because she's straddled the line between being an atheist/deist for most of her 21 years. Her prayer was so beautiful we all had tears in our eyes and fought actually crying.
The sad part is because of my mom. She and my 46 year old sister have always been codies, though there's no substance abuse. My sister has been married 4 times, has two beautiful boys, and is probably mentally ill. She's always refused therapy because nothing is ever her issue. She has no friends any more. She manipulates and lies to get whatever she wants and this has going on for about 26 years if not longer. Recently she has run into what probably is her first brick wall. My mom is dedicated to trying to fix it.
My mom hasn't come to see her granddaughter yet (my RAD) after that nasty wreck. She kept saying she was trying but there's been one excuse after another. We insisted on buying her a plane ticket but then she found another excuse. My daughter really wants to see my mom and tell her about this damned addiction. At this point I'm not sure that's a good idea.
My mom and I have never really been close, she was never a mommy to me. Thankfully many of my family members saw it from the start and actually talked with me about it when I was younger. It was liberating and helped me keep putting one foot in front of the other.
That doesn't stop the sadness though. The relationship I have spent years working at with my mom is almost gone. We don't talk about my sister because she's in denial, 70 years old, and it's too much drama for me. In other words, we don't talk about much at all because my sister is her addiction.
I'm using every recovery tool I have towards letting go. I'm going to regular sessions with my therapist and finally cried about it Wednesday. We were talking and all of a sudden I felt it, told him "oh crap here it comes!" I didn't know there was so much pain inside me about my mom. 44 years of it.
This morning I read something: Conflict precedes clarity.
I have my daughter back for today and never had my mom.
I needed to release some pain today about this and am grateful to have a safe place to do it. Thank you SR.
In my home it was wonderful and full of love, joy. My daughter spent a couple of hours making these cute cupcakes with edible turkeys on them. I think cupcakes have replaced Big Macs as her comfort food :)
When it was time to pray she was chomping at the bit and asked to say it this year. That took us all by surprise because she's straddled the line between being an atheist/deist for most of her 21 years. Her prayer was so beautiful we all had tears in our eyes and fought actually crying.
The sad part is because of my mom. She and my 46 year old sister have always been codies, though there's no substance abuse. My sister has been married 4 times, has two beautiful boys, and is probably mentally ill. She's always refused therapy because nothing is ever her issue. She has no friends any more. She manipulates and lies to get whatever she wants and this has going on for about 26 years if not longer. Recently she has run into what probably is her first brick wall. My mom is dedicated to trying to fix it.
My mom hasn't come to see her granddaughter yet (my RAD) after that nasty wreck. She kept saying she was trying but there's been one excuse after another. We insisted on buying her a plane ticket but then she found another excuse. My daughter really wants to see my mom and tell her about this damned addiction. At this point I'm not sure that's a good idea.
My mom and I have never really been close, she was never a mommy to me. Thankfully many of my family members saw it from the start and actually talked with me about it when I was younger. It was liberating and helped me keep putting one foot in front of the other.
That doesn't stop the sadness though. The relationship I have spent years working at with my mom is almost gone. We don't talk about my sister because she's in denial, 70 years old, and it's too much drama for me. In other words, we don't talk about much at all because my sister is her addiction.
I'm using every recovery tool I have towards letting go. I'm going to regular sessions with my therapist and finally cried about it Wednesday. We were talking and all of a sudden I felt it, told him "oh crap here it comes!" I didn't know there was so much pain inside me about my mom. 44 years of it.
This morning I read something: Conflict precedes clarity.
I have my daughter back for today and never had my mom.
I needed to release some pain today about this and am grateful to have a safe place to do it. Thank you SR.
Low Frustration Tolerance
Irrationalities Related to Low Frustration Tolerance or Short- Range Hedonism
Strong insistence on going mainly or only for the pleasures of the moment instead of those of the present and future.
Obsession with immediate gratifications, whatever the costs.
Whining and strongly pitying oneself when one finds it necessary to surrender short-range pleasures for other gains.
Ignoring the dangers inherent in going for immediate pleasures.
Striving for ease and comfort rather than for greater satisfactions that require some temporary discomfort.
Refusing to work against a harmful addiction because of the immediate discomfort of giving it up.
Refusing to continue with a beneficial or satisfying program of activity because one views its onerous aspects as too hard and devoutly believes that they should not exist.
Chomping at the bit impatiently when one has to wait for or work for a satisfying condition to occur.
Procrastinating about doing activities that one knows would turn out beneficially and that one has promised oneself to do.
Significantly consuming a scarce commodity that one knows one will very much want in the future.
From The Albert Ellis reader
Strong insistence on going mainly or only for the pleasures of the moment instead of those of the present and future.
Obsession with immediate gratifications, whatever the costs.
Whining and strongly pitying oneself when one finds it necessary to surrender short-range pleasures for other gains.
Ignoring the dangers inherent in going for immediate pleasures.
Striving for ease and comfort rather than for greater satisfactions that require some temporary discomfort.
Refusing to work against a harmful addiction because of the immediate discomfort of giving it up.
Refusing to continue with a beneficial or satisfying program of activity because one views its onerous aspects as too hard and devoutly believes that they should not exist.
Chomping at the bit impatiently when one has to wait for or work for a satisfying condition to occur.
Procrastinating about doing activities that one knows would turn out beneficially and that one has promised oneself to do.
Significantly consuming a scarce commodity that one knows one will very much want in the future.
From The Albert Ellis reader
