Archive for the ‘Close Friends’ tag
Hello everyone! Newbie to this, I need your advice
I am newly wed, my husband always had dislikes against drinking. I have always enjoyed drinking. My typical way of drinking has been, have 2 glasses of wine as I cook and have dinner (I am a big foodie and love the combination of good drink with good food) about 5 days a week. I drink more if we go to friend's party etc, which is probably less than once a month.
He says he doesn't like me drinking because I get slow (vs. witty) and less attentitive toward him and gets emotional. He always had different "reasons" why he dislikes me drinking (one of them used to be that I may cheat on him while I am drunk, at the early dating stage, so I was allowed to drink only when he was around, even at home! He finally understant I am not the cheater, he doesn't say that anymore)
I feel I can drink less frequently, so I recently agreed on drinking just weekends and special occassions. He was supposed to be happy with that, but he is still unhappy and says he doesn't want to be around me if I drink.
I have never been told by anybody (parents, my teeage kids and close friends etc) that I am unpleasant when I drink, rather fun to be around.
He wants me to quit drinking completely and he thinks I can never do so
because he thinks I am an addict. I know I can totally quite (I have done so with past pregnancies and nursing etc). But I don't feel it is necessary other than the fact that I can prove to him that I can quit, which seems to me, the wrong motivation. To me, cutting back to weekends seems like a good plan.
I feel since my wine with good food is something I would call "hobby" it will elminate my eating fun too (BTW I dont have any health problem either, stay fit), he says I am making excuse since I can't quite.... What should I do?
He says he doesn't like me drinking because I get slow (vs. witty) and less attentitive toward him and gets emotional. He always had different "reasons" why he dislikes me drinking (one of them used to be that I may cheat on him while I am drunk, at the early dating stage, so I was allowed to drink only when he was around, even at home! He finally understant I am not the cheater, he doesn't say that anymore)
I feel I can drink less frequently, so I recently agreed on drinking just weekends and special occassions. He was supposed to be happy with that, but he is still unhappy and says he doesn't want to be around me if I drink.
I have never been told by anybody (parents, my teeage kids and close friends etc) that I am unpleasant when I drink, rather fun to be around.
He wants me to quit drinking completely and he thinks I can never do so
because he thinks I am an addict. I know I can totally quite (I have done so with past pregnancies and nursing etc). But I don't feel it is necessary other than the fact that I can prove to him that I can quit, which seems to me, the wrong motivation. To me, cutting back to weekends seems like a good plan.
I feel since my wine with good food is something I would call "hobby" it will elminate my eating fun too (BTW I dont have any health problem either, stay fit), he says I am making excuse since I can't quite.... What should I do?
First ever post here - with quick background and a ? about “meeting nights”
This is my first post here, just discovered the web site tonight.
I have been dating (off and on) a man since June of this year. When we met, he was 2 years sober. We stopped seeing each other for the later part of the summer (he got involved with someone else) and during those few weeks, he began drinking (she was staying with him several days at a time, she was drinking heavily - secretly at first and then openly - and shortly after he began drinking as well).
We reconciled in September - first as mostly friends....he was still drinking heavily, though he had *detoxed* twice at the ER - both times he fell back into drinking almost immediately. When we were back in touch, he was drinking over a quart of vodka a day, and was not functioning (not getting to work, not eating, etc). Pretty much a mess, but asking for help.
I did help him locate some resources, and his last drink was 6 weeks ago. We have fallen back into a relationship of sorts - I do see him just about every day, and he knows he can talk to me about stuff he can't talk to his family about (he lives with family). He does not seem to have close friends. I spent Thanksgiving with him and his family, and he has referred to me as his "girlfriend"
So - there is a lot of stuff going on, and I am sure in time I will post about specifics. I am also considering going to an alanon meeting - though I am generally not a "joiner", I thought it would be worth a look.
But, here is my pressing question.
He goes to his AA meetings several times a week. Three nights a week, he goes to the same ones - where he gets there early and stays late because he sets up & breaks down the room. He also often goes on Saturdays & Sundays as well. So, basically, there are two nights out to the week he is not going. He was pretty much going this often when I first met him as well (before his recent drinking binge).
I totally support his going - I think he NEEDS to be going - and have not (and will not) ever say anything other than that to him. But...it is hard sometimes....it is hard dating someone who runs out the door almost every evening to go to his meetings. It gets lonely. I feel like I spend more time alone than I ever have before. I do have girlfriends in the area, and do meet up with them on occasion, but always have to attend things alone, and many many nights, I find myself sitting alone in my apartment, because he stops by but has to leave by 6:30 or so to go set up meetings. Sometimes he will stop by after one (though often he goes straight home) - but even when he does he is tired and distracted and I feel like I am walking on eggshells.
So, does anyone else have trouble with sitting home alone night after night while their SO/spouse is out at meetings?
If you read this far...thanks for listening :ghug
I have been dating (off and on) a man since June of this year. When we met, he was 2 years sober. We stopped seeing each other for the later part of the summer (he got involved with someone else) and during those few weeks, he began drinking (she was staying with him several days at a time, she was drinking heavily - secretly at first and then openly - and shortly after he began drinking as well).
We reconciled in September - first as mostly friends....he was still drinking heavily, though he had *detoxed* twice at the ER - both times he fell back into drinking almost immediately. When we were back in touch, he was drinking over a quart of vodka a day, and was not functioning (not getting to work, not eating, etc). Pretty much a mess, but asking for help.
I did help him locate some resources, and his last drink was 6 weeks ago. We have fallen back into a relationship of sorts - I do see him just about every day, and he knows he can talk to me about stuff he can't talk to his family about (he lives with family). He does not seem to have close friends. I spent Thanksgiving with him and his family, and he has referred to me as his "girlfriend"
So - there is a lot of stuff going on, and I am sure in time I will post about specifics. I am also considering going to an alanon meeting - though I am generally not a "joiner", I thought it would be worth a look.
But, here is my pressing question.
He goes to his AA meetings several times a week. Three nights a week, he goes to the same ones - where he gets there early and stays late because he sets up & breaks down the room. He also often goes on Saturdays & Sundays as well. So, basically, there are two nights out to the week he is not going. He was pretty much going this often when I first met him as well (before his recent drinking binge).
I totally support his going - I think he NEEDS to be going - and have not (and will not) ever say anything other than that to him. But...it is hard sometimes....it is hard dating someone who runs out the door almost every evening to go to his meetings. It gets lonely. I feel like I spend more time alone than I ever have before. I do have girlfriends in the area, and do meet up with them on occasion, but always have to attend things alone, and many many nights, I find myself sitting alone in my apartment, because he stops by but has to leave by 6:30 or so to go set up meetings. Sometimes he will stop by after one (though often he goes straight home) - but even when he does he is tired and distracted and I feel like I am walking on eggshells.
So, does anyone else have trouble with sitting home alone night after night while their SO/spouse is out at meetings?
If you read this far...thanks for listening :ghug
My emotions are all over the place. This is a nasy ride and I want off!!!!!!!!
Hi all and Happy Thanksgiving to all my SR family and friends.
In my last post I was angry at myself and at AH.
Today, I'm sad. Crying again and I don't even know what about, if that makes any sense. Maybe it's because it's holiday time and I didn't plan on going it alone again this year. With no family or close friends near by it makes this time of year very lonely and sad for me. I am going to dinner with a coworker who didn't have anyone to spend the day with and then I'm supposed to work 7pm to 7am. But, I got a call tonight that the census was low on my floor and I will most likely be put on call. UGH!! Work brings me peace of mind. I'm able to help others who are sick and stuck in the hospital and that makes me feel good and helps me to appreciate the good things in my life. I miss my family and friends back home but not the snow they've gotten lol!! This is my DANGER ZONE. I've been doing good with the no contact rule but when I get to feeling abandoned and alone is when I start to want to hear his voice. But, it's weird because I have FINALLY accepted him for who his is and not who I want him to be and I know if I do talk to him it's just lies and more lies. It's like it's a bad habit. I cleaned my little heart out today then took a nap. It was supposed to be a nap but ended up a 5hr nap. So now I'll be up all night. I've tried to sit down and write a letter to him (not meant to be sent) but the words just won't come out. :e088:
In my last post I was angry at myself and at AH.
Today, I'm sad. Crying again and I don't even know what about, if that makes any sense. Maybe it's because it's holiday time and I didn't plan on going it alone again this year. With no family or close friends near by it makes this time of year very lonely and sad for me. I am going to dinner with a coworker who didn't have anyone to spend the day with and then I'm supposed to work 7pm to 7am. But, I got a call tonight that the census was low on my floor and I will most likely be put on call. UGH!! Work brings me peace of mind. I'm able to help others who are sick and stuck in the hospital and that makes me feel good and helps me to appreciate the good things in my life. I miss my family and friends back home but not the snow they've gotten lol!! This is my DANGER ZONE. I've been doing good with the no contact rule but when I get to feeling abandoned and alone is when I start to want to hear his voice. But, it's weird because I have FINALLY accepted him for who his is and not who I want him to be and I know if I do talk to him it's just lies and more lies. It's like it's a bad habit. I cleaned my little heart out today then took a nap. It was supposed to be a nap but ended up a 5hr nap. So now I'll be up all night. I've tried to sit down and write a letter to him (not meant to be sent) but the words just won't come out. :e088:
Need some objective opinions
I have only posted here once or twice, but I am pretty much a daily lurker. IÂ’m your classic ACOA co-dependent married to an alcoholic. I moved out in March of this year after having enough of living with the behavior of my AH. IÂ’ve been to some Al-Anon meetings but mainly use this board for support. To be honest, IÂ’ve found it much more helpful than the meetings IÂ’ve been to, and IÂ’m not much of a meeting person. My therapist also has been very helpful for me in my codie recovery, as well as encouraging what I learn from Al-Anon & Melodie Beatty readings.
Anyway, here’s a little background & then my dilemma … I’ve been going to therapy since Spring ’07, first we went as a couple, then AH dropped out, but I continued on my own in January ’08. I had felt like I’m making some real progress in my recovery, despite a major codie relapse over Halloween weekend (more on that later.) My AH constantly asks me to go out with him, usually to bars, sometimes to dinner & then bars afterward. At first, I went with him (he really doesn’t have any close friends but me & I felt bad for him since I moved out – how codie is that?!) AH started going to an individual therapist who was supposed to help him with his drinking, and a few months ago we started marriage counseling again with a new therapist. His therapist & the marriage counselor seem to think it’s OK for AH to continue drinking, as long as he’s cutting back, and the marriage counselor even suggested I go out with him & let him drink but I leave if I feel uncomfortable with how much he’s had. My therapist, on the other hand, suggested that I not drink with him at all b/c it’s enabling him to continue drinking. I felt really caught between a rock & a hard place, as I wanted to try & work on the marriage, so I went with the marriage counselor’s advice. Over Halloween weekend, AH came out & joined me & a friend & then I stupidly invited him out the next night to listen to one of our favorite bands. Needless to say, AH did not cut back on his drinking either night; it was like old times watching him in action. And like old times, I let it happen & didn’t leave even though I was uncomfortable. By the end of the weekend, I felt stressed & anxious & mad at myself for letting it all transpire. I talked with AH last night about it & said I didn’t think we should drink together any more period. He wasn’t happy with that suggestion (big surprise). We talked about it again today in our marriage counseling session, and the counselor suggested I still go out with him but leave or tell him when I’m uncomfortable.
Everything I’ve read points me in the direction that if you have a drinking problem, you shouldn’t drink. But, 2 of the therapists seem to think it’s OK for him to be an actively drinking alcoholic, as long as he’s cutting back. I think by continuing the behavior, he’s not suffering consequences for his actions, and I foresee the behavior all rolling back in again. He’s practically begging me to move back in, but I’ve told him we’re not ready, and I don’t think we’ve made much progress. I even gave him money (my mistake) to get a prescription for Campral filled more than a month ago. I learned today he spent that money on “other things’ & hasn’t filled the prescription yet. I just don’t think he’s getting it, and I know I’m partly to blame by my enabling behavior. Am I right, though, in thinking an actively drinking A probably won’t ever get it under control? Any advice/suggestions are appreciated.
Anyway, here’s a little background & then my dilemma … I’ve been going to therapy since Spring ’07, first we went as a couple, then AH dropped out, but I continued on my own in January ’08. I had felt like I’m making some real progress in my recovery, despite a major codie relapse over Halloween weekend (more on that later.) My AH constantly asks me to go out with him, usually to bars, sometimes to dinner & then bars afterward. At first, I went with him (he really doesn’t have any close friends but me & I felt bad for him since I moved out – how codie is that?!) AH started going to an individual therapist who was supposed to help him with his drinking, and a few months ago we started marriage counseling again with a new therapist. His therapist & the marriage counselor seem to think it’s OK for AH to continue drinking, as long as he’s cutting back, and the marriage counselor even suggested I go out with him & let him drink but I leave if I feel uncomfortable with how much he’s had. My therapist, on the other hand, suggested that I not drink with him at all b/c it’s enabling him to continue drinking. I felt really caught between a rock & a hard place, as I wanted to try & work on the marriage, so I went with the marriage counselor’s advice. Over Halloween weekend, AH came out & joined me & a friend & then I stupidly invited him out the next night to listen to one of our favorite bands. Needless to say, AH did not cut back on his drinking either night; it was like old times watching him in action. And like old times, I let it happen & didn’t leave even though I was uncomfortable. By the end of the weekend, I felt stressed & anxious & mad at myself for letting it all transpire. I talked with AH last night about it & said I didn’t think we should drink together any more period. He wasn’t happy with that suggestion (big surprise). We talked about it again today in our marriage counseling session, and the counselor suggested I still go out with him but leave or tell him when I’m uncomfortable.
Everything I’ve read points me in the direction that if you have a drinking problem, you shouldn’t drink. But, 2 of the therapists seem to think it’s OK for him to be an actively drinking alcoholic, as long as he’s cutting back. I think by continuing the behavior, he’s not suffering consequences for his actions, and I foresee the behavior all rolling back in again. He’s practically begging me to move back in, but I’ve told him we’re not ready, and I don’t think we’ve made much progress. I even gave him money (my mistake) to get a prescription for Campral filled more than a month ago. I learned today he spent that money on “other things’ & hasn’t filled the prescription yet. I just don’t think he’s getting it, and I know I’m partly to blame by my enabling behavior. Am I right, though, in thinking an actively drinking A probably won’t ever get it under control? Any advice/suggestions are appreciated.
Struggling w/Anger & Letting GO
New to SR, but have been reading thru a lot of the posts. IÂ’m apologizing in advance for the long post, but I just really need to tell my story to people who understand.
I'm struggling with letting go of the anger that I have for my EXABF & the sadness I feel for him. We were together for a little over a year. In May of this year, I finally admitted to myself that he was an alcoholic & confronted him with my suspicions. I begged for him to get help. He admitted that he had a problem & promised that he would get help. Fast forward to the end of June, by this time, he had not attempted to get help & was trying to hide his drinking in the most ridiculous ways. I sat back & watched all of this play out. It drove me crazy that he was so willing to go down this destructive path that he had chosen with little consideration for anyone else in his life, especially his children from his previous marriage. I lost it at the end of June & confronted him about his hiding his alcohol from me, which led to our biggest fight ever & ended up with me apologizing to him for bringing up his drinking & his inability to keep his promise to seek help & him refusing to speak to me & looking at me like he hated me. I realized that at that point that I was wreck & in a really volatile situation, & needed some time to decompress, so I left the house & stayed at a hotel for a few days. During those few days, I finally admitted to one of my close friends that I was living with an alcoholic. Thankfully she told me to find an Al Anon meeting immediately & make an appointment with a psychologist. I did both that day. I went to my first Al Anon meeting that night & had my first appointment with my psychologist the next day & started working on myself. I went back home & continued attending weekly Al Anon meetings & seeing my psychologist. During the month of July, my EXABF continued to drink nonstop & started not coming home at least once a week. He would call me late in the evenings, intoxicated & proceed to give me excuses for why he couldn’t make it home that night. Thank God for Al Anon, b/c by this time I had learned about “Let Go and Let God” & “You didn’t cause it, You can’t control it, You can’t cure it”, so I would tell him if he felt that not coming home was what he needed to do, then he didn't need to come home. I didn't even "lose it” when I found the lipstick on his shirt collar after one of these “not coming home” adventures that he had had. I confronted him about my fear that he was cheating on me in a calm manner, listened to his explanation & moved on. I stayed the course & kept going to Al Anon & seeing my psychologist. I had had enough by August, so by August 15th, we had a talk & decided that it was best that I move out & that we both work on our issues. I found a place to live & began the process of packing my things & planning to officially move into my new place on August 29th. During that time I had to share the house with him until my move in date. For the next 2 weeks, I got to witness him get drunk everyday(he finally quit hiding it from me & let me see his liter a day vodka habit in the open), while profusely apologizing to me for bringing me into his insanity, apologizing for screwing our relationship up, telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him & how much he loved me, that he just needed to be alone so that he could get his life together, & that I shouldn't date anyone for a year so that he would have time to get well & then he wanted another chance with me. I just listened & tried not to buy into any of his rantings, which didn't comepletely work b/c of my codependency issues. September 1st, I was officially moved into my new place, but was still talking to him daily, b/c I believed him when he told me that he had hit his rock bottom & that he would get help & that we should work toward coming back together someday when we were both healthy. For the next 3 weeks, I was still talking to him & enabling by listening to him have his daily crying breakdown, listen to how broken he thinks he is, how badly his life sucks, & how he was going to get help. During this time I was really struggling with moving forward with my recovery. My psychologist had been continually telling me that I had to go “No Contact” with him, b/c I couldn’t “fully” proceed with my recovery until I quit enabling & allowing his insanity to still pull me in. At that time I just couldn’t let go, until September 23rd, when I found out that he had a girlfriend & it was confirmed that he had been seeing her the last few months of our relationship. I was devastated, but that was the straw that broke the camels back…..I changed my phone # that day. When he started e-mailing me a couple of days later b/c he couldn’t reach me via text or by phone, I informed him that I never wanted to see or speak to him again & asked him to respect my wishes. Since September 23rd, I have completely focused on working on me & getting my life back with no distraction from him. Al Anon, therapy , and SR have been a blessing. I’m working diligently to figure out all of my codependency issues & am trying to better my life.
Now, after my long story……….here are my “2” questions:
#1) How do I get over the massive anger that I have toward my EXABF? I literally would get much pleasure out of punching his lights out, but I know that wonÂ’t solve anything. When does the anger end?
#2) How do I work thru the feelings of sadness that I have for him choosing to continue his destructive cycle & not get the help that he needs? I really believe that he is going to drink himself to death. I know I can never allow him to be in my life again, but he is still a human being that I am working on trying to forgive & I donÂ’t want to see him die from this disease. I know I didnÂ’t cause it, I canÂ’t control it, &, I canÂ’t cure it, but how do I finally "let go" & forget him & get over these feelings of worrying about him dying from this disease?
Again, sorry for the long post, but I just needed to finally get this off my chest & seek advice.
Thanks in advance for any advice that anyone might have for me.
I'm struggling with letting go of the anger that I have for my EXABF & the sadness I feel for him. We were together for a little over a year. In May of this year, I finally admitted to myself that he was an alcoholic & confronted him with my suspicions. I begged for him to get help. He admitted that he had a problem & promised that he would get help. Fast forward to the end of June, by this time, he had not attempted to get help & was trying to hide his drinking in the most ridiculous ways. I sat back & watched all of this play out. It drove me crazy that he was so willing to go down this destructive path that he had chosen with little consideration for anyone else in his life, especially his children from his previous marriage. I lost it at the end of June & confronted him about his hiding his alcohol from me, which led to our biggest fight ever & ended up with me apologizing to him for bringing up his drinking & his inability to keep his promise to seek help & him refusing to speak to me & looking at me like he hated me. I realized that at that point that I was wreck & in a really volatile situation, & needed some time to decompress, so I left the house & stayed at a hotel for a few days. During those few days, I finally admitted to one of my close friends that I was living with an alcoholic. Thankfully she told me to find an Al Anon meeting immediately & make an appointment with a psychologist. I did both that day. I went to my first Al Anon meeting that night & had my first appointment with my psychologist the next day & started working on myself. I went back home & continued attending weekly Al Anon meetings & seeing my psychologist. During the month of July, my EXABF continued to drink nonstop & started not coming home at least once a week. He would call me late in the evenings, intoxicated & proceed to give me excuses for why he couldn’t make it home that night. Thank God for Al Anon, b/c by this time I had learned about “Let Go and Let God” & “You didn’t cause it, You can’t control it, You can’t cure it”, so I would tell him if he felt that not coming home was what he needed to do, then he didn't need to come home. I didn't even "lose it” when I found the lipstick on his shirt collar after one of these “not coming home” adventures that he had had. I confronted him about my fear that he was cheating on me in a calm manner, listened to his explanation & moved on. I stayed the course & kept going to Al Anon & seeing my psychologist. I had had enough by August, so by August 15th, we had a talk & decided that it was best that I move out & that we both work on our issues. I found a place to live & began the process of packing my things & planning to officially move into my new place on August 29th. During that time I had to share the house with him until my move in date. For the next 2 weeks, I got to witness him get drunk everyday(he finally quit hiding it from me & let me see his liter a day vodka habit in the open), while profusely apologizing to me for bringing me into his insanity, apologizing for screwing our relationship up, telling me that I was the best thing that ever happened to him & how much he loved me, that he just needed to be alone so that he could get his life together, & that I shouldn't date anyone for a year so that he would have time to get well & then he wanted another chance with me. I just listened & tried not to buy into any of his rantings, which didn't comepletely work b/c of my codependency issues. September 1st, I was officially moved into my new place, but was still talking to him daily, b/c I believed him when he told me that he had hit his rock bottom & that he would get help & that we should work toward coming back together someday when we were both healthy. For the next 3 weeks, I was still talking to him & enabling by listening to him have his daily crying breakdown, listen to how broken he thinks he is, how badly his life sucks, & how he was going to get help. During this time I was really struggling with moving forward with my recovery. My psychologist had been continually telling me that I had to go “No Contact” with him, b/c I couldn’t “fully” proceed with my recovery until I quit enabling & allowing his insanity to still pull me in. At that time I just couldn’t let go, until September 23rd, when I found out that he had a girlfriend & it was confirmed that he had been seeing her the last few months of our relationship. I was devastated, but that was the straw that broke the camels back…..I changed my phone # that day. When he started e-mailing me a couple of days later b/c he couldn’t reach me via text or by phone, I informed him that I never wanted to see or speak to him again & asked him to respect my wishes. Since September 23rd, I have completely focused on working on me & getting my life back with no distraction from him. Al Anon, therapy , and SR have been a blessing. I’m working diligently to figure out all of my codependency issues & am trying to better my life.
Now, after my long story……….here are my “2” questions:
#1) How do I get over the massive anger that I have toward my EXABF? I literally would get much pleasure out of punching his lights out, but I know that wonÂ’t solve anything. When does the anger end?
#2) How do I work thru the feelings of sadness that I have for him choosing to continue his destructive cycle & not get the help that he needs? I really believe that he is going to drink himself to death. I know I can never allow him to be in my life again, but he is still a human being that I am working on trying to forgive & I donÂ’t want to see him die from this disease. I know I didnÂ’t cause it, I canÂ’t control it, &, I canÂ’t cure it, but how do I finally "let go" & forget him & get over these feelings of worrying about him dying from this disease?
Again, sorry for the long post, but I just needed to finally get this off my chest & seek advice.
Thanks in advance for any advice that anyone might have for me.
RADgot another chip toinght
My RAD got an 18 month chip tonight from NA. There were 4 new people there toinght at her homegroup. When she shrared it was wonderful. She really was trying to reach the newcomers. She was saying how she can learn just as much from a newcomer as she can from someone whith 20 or more years clean. The whole group just embrassed them. When I heard alot of the things said during the meeting about my daughter, the coolest thing was everyone (& these mind you are my daughter close friends) were working to get the message accross the newcomers. Can I just say NA rocks!!! Oh & I might have mentioned on her 12 month that the chip gets passed around the group so people can say prayers or well wishes for the aneversery, well toinght there was a fumble. Toinght in front of the NA group, I..."mom of RAD" dropped the 18 month chip!!! It was the loudest sound I ever heard.!! MY RAD was in the middle of sharing & said ..can yoou believe my MOM just did that? It was too funny. Thankfully for her her lil sis got my co ordination genes. Can I tell you all how privelidged I feel for getting the opportunity to get to know her friends. We have had late nights at Denny's which is wayy past my bedtime. Some too funny times at my house, & I really luv these guys. They have soo much to offer.
It’s a Special Day for mattcake79
:day
HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Love Forever,
SP :kiss:
It’s a Special Day for mattcake79
:day
HAPPY 29th BIRTHDAY MATT!!!!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Everyone please join me in wishing one of our favorites a wonderful birthday!
Not only does this mark a new year in his life, it also marks 3 incredible months of sobriety!!!!
(Though we all know he doesn't really count days or months!)
This special man has influenced more lives here at SR than he will ever know, including mine!
He deserves everything the good life has to offer him!
And I can't wait to see him achieve all his dreams!
Matt, may this year be a new beginning for you! There are so many things that you have to look forward to in the upcoming months! Take a moment to just breathe that sweet freedom that sobriety gives us! You really are no longer a lone wolf my friend! You've got a whole pack of us now!
I met you when I first came to SR and boy did we share a lot of stuff. I knew immediately, before we ever became such close friends, that you were a guy who knew what the hell he was talking about. The magnitude of your intelligence baffles me still. I can't wait to see what that mind of yours will create next!
You opened me up to a new world, new experiences, new ways to look at life. . . But most importantly you opened me up to a genre of music that I am so priveleged to know and now love.
So for you my sweets, here's your special birthday song! :ValA004:
YouTube - Tori Amos - Me and You
Because above all else, the real you is still there.
Thank Higher Powers, God, Wolves, and Foxes for that!
Happy Birthday Sweets! Keep up the incredible work!
My gift to you is to never lose the person you are, underneath it all!
Love Forever,
SP :kiss:
greedy and needy
Sorry to be so needy! I just had a really stressful day, but I spent the evening with some close friends, and then I had a coffee, then a meal, then ate AGAIN... because what I want is beer! It's the only thing that relieves the stress and loniliness. I know I shouldn't be lonely, I just saw my friends tonight. I'm not planning to drink, but this sucks! I just want to not feel nervous and scared. I can't do it on my own, apaarently. I can't focus enough to read and television isn't working. I'm certainly not inspired to make any art at the moment...I just wish the anxiety and loneliness would go away. I want to be like "normal" people *SIGH* Sorry to be whiny.:sorry
Where to start……
I feel completely hopeless. My husband is an alcoholic, but will not admit it. We have a four year old, and a baby due within the next two weeks. I am a christian, and I thought he was, but now, I am not sure. We have been married a little over three years. We drank and partied together, I got pregnant, and we changed our lives around completely. Then about a year ago he started drinking a lot again, and got addicted to pain pills after receiving them for surgery. He is not taking the pills anymore, but continues to drink. He is not an abusive or agressive drunk, he is a lazy one. He does absolutely nothing at home, including playing with our son, will not go anywhere, or socialize with anyone, although he has always been pretty quiet. We started going to counseling, but, it doesn't seem to be getting through what he is doing to his family. I want to leave, because I don't want my kids around alcohol, and I am tired of being blamed for everything, but I have no place to go, no money, and I am going to have a newborn any day now. I have left times before for a week or so before, but came back. I know divorce is not the answer, but I am tired of fighting, and being lied to. I have family and a few very close friends praying for us, but I am so frustrated it doesn't seem to be getting better. I need someone to help me understand why he is doing this to us, and why he doesn't see how it affects our kid(s) negatively. I am especially tired of being lied to. The lies make me have no respect for him, and I can not trust him with anything. I have had to have complete control over all of our finances, until recently I gave up, and gave it all to him. I guess I really just need to talk to someone who can help me understand why he doesn't see what he is doing.
