Archive for the ‘Clothes’ tag
could use some advice….
Try to make a long story short. Addict lives with me. Won't stop using. Needs hospitalization for bad wounds that won't heal. keeps promising he'll go to hospital. Bugs me for money. Lays on couch all day in agony. Needs his drugs. I am enabling. Can't get him to hospital. he won't let me call ambulance. Today promised for 2 weeks today he'd go. Came time to go, wanted his drugs, asked for money. Now, still hasn't gone.
I need to move Again. Everytime I try to leave, he comes back, or I do. To help him. But I don't help.
I pay for and do everything. he on couch all day. he is very sick. wounds that won't heal from surgeries done last year. Won't go to doctor, I offer to take him.
I need to get out don't I? My house, my name on the lease, my money that feeds and clothes and takes care of him, I never clean enough, never do enough to help him.
I really need help. What do I do? He cannot take care of himself. :praying
I need to move Again. Everytime I try to leave, he comes back, or I do. To help him. But I don't help.
I pay for and do everything. he on couch all day. he is very sick. wounds that won't heal from surgeries done last year. Won't go to doctor, I offer to take him.
I need to get out don't I? My house, my name on the lease, my money that feeds and clothes and takes care of him, I never clean enough, never do enough to help him.
I really need help. What do I do? He cannot take care of himself. :praying
Happy New Year My Friends
Just want to wish you all a Happy New Year. I am glad this year is over nothing could be any worse than 08 and my son's death.
Just sitting remembering some little things my son would do like Yelling the the door Mum where are you! Mum what is their to eat. Mum would you p-l-e-a-s-e wash some clothes for me. I would always say I am not your maid and he would kiss me on the cheek and say you know you love me ma. He was right I did love him more than he knew. Now I set here wanting to see his face and hear his voice.
Love Ya,
Maggie
Just sitting remembering some little things my son would do like Yelling the the door Mum where are you! Mum what is their to eat. Mum would you p-l-e-a-s-e wash some clothes for me. I would always say I am not your maid and he would kiss me on the cheek and say you know you love me ma. He was right I did love him more than he knew. Now I set here wanting to see his face and hear his voice.
Love Ya,
Maggie
My 1st Christmas with out my son
This will be the 1 st. Christmas with out my boy. My husband and I have been talking about him all day. We went for food today all we could say Jason liked this Jason liked that, he really could be eating if he were here. We give and get our Christmas Presents on Christmas eve we could hear him saying can I have mine now since he was grown we gave him clothes and money. He also got money from my mum (She died last year) and he got money from my sister. I hope to God he wasn't buying drugs with it. Last year I think he was clean. On Christmas day he and his son would allways go to my sister's with his gram for dinner.
Don't get me wrong I went through all the bad stuff to the stealing, lieing and all that goes with addiction. But he was my heart and I miss him so much I just pray that God picked death for him because things were not going to get any better to save him from himself. He loved his gram and pap so he is spending Christmas with them in heaven. I am trying to get my act together I have to live without him and I am trying.
I am not a drinker and I hate beer but a couple of days ago their was nothing to drink so I drank a beer the nexted day I drank another one everyday I drank 1 untill they were gone I know this has to stop reading how things can go from their. Since they are gone have no need for one I just needed a cold drink I will keep the soda in the frig.
I am not going to have a Happy Christmas this year but I hope everyone here does so Happy Holidays all!!!!
God Bless you
Maggie:Xmas2
Don't get me wrong I went through all the bad stuff to the stealing, lieing and all that goes with addiction. But he was my heart and I miss him so much I just pray that God picked death for him because things were not going to get any better to save him from himself. He loved his gram and pap so he is spending Christmas with them in heaven. I am trying to get my act together I have to live without him and I am trying.
I am not a drinker and I hate beer but a couple of days ago their was nothing to drink so I drank a beer the nexted day I drank another one everyday I drank 1 untill they were gone I know this has to stop reading how things can go from their. Since they are gone have no need for one I just needed a cold drink I will keep the soda in the frig.
I am not going to have a Happy Christmas this year but I hope everyone here does so Happy Holidays all!!!!
God Bless you
Maggie:Xmas2
Responsibility….Just realized what I wrote…
In the thread I started about verbally abusivive AH's, I realized in one of my responses that I said I wasn't responsible for him.
Hmmmm, I don't think I should have to be responsible for a grown adult of any age.
I used to be responsible for his clothes, his lunches, his soap, making sure he got out of bed on time(regardless of whether I was actually home or not).
I would be responsible for planning the birthday parties, Christmas's, Easter's, and any get together while he was busy drinking.
I was responsble for making sure he got home, got to work, got out of bed, got to the toilet(yeah, nasty).
I was responsible for dinner on the table, dogs being fed, kids going to the doctor, son going to the specialist, surgery appointments.
I was responsible for making sure myself got to work and taking care of me as well in there somewhere.
HE was responsible for going to work. While that is an important task there's so much more. I was told that he worked tons of overtime and was always tired, but there was always time for his fishing, hunting, going out.
It's no wonder he has always stuck to me. No wonder he never minded me coming back after I'd leave.
Now I no longer get him up, do his lunches or iron his clothes. Yes I do the laundry because he's only capable of washing them and piling them up on the couch.
It's also no wonder why we're having issues again now. He's being forced to take SOME responsibility, in addition to his drinking.
He told me a couple of weeks ago that he was doing things that I was supposed to be doing! blah, blah, blah
I think that might be some quacking?
Hmmmm, I don't think I should have to be responsible for a grown adult of any age.
I used to be responsible for his clothes, his lunches, his soap, making sure he got out of bed on time(regardless of whether I was actually home or not).
I would be responsible for planning the birthday parties, Christmas's, Easter's, and any get together while he was busy drinking.
I was responsble for making sure he got home, got to work, got out of bed, got to the toilet(yeah, nasty).
I was responsible for dinner on the table, dogs being fed, kids going to the doctor, son going to the specialist, surgery appointments.
I was responsible for making sure myself got to work and taking care of me as well in there somewhere.
HE was responsible for going to work. While that is an important task there's so much more. I was told that he worked tons of overtime and was always tired, but there was always time for his fishing, hunting, going out.
It's no wonder he has always stuck to me. No wonder he never minded me coming back after I'd leave.
Now I no longer get him up, do his lunches or iron his clothes. Yes I do the laundry because he's only capable of washing them and piling them up on the couch.
It's also no wonder why we're having issues again now. He's being forced to take SOME responsibility, in addition to his drinking.
He told me a couple of weeks ago that he was doing things that I was supposed to be doing! blah, blah, blah
I think that might be some quacking?
When they ask for too much
I used to just give. Give and give and give.
It made me feel better about myself, and I could point to the giving as a reason that I should be loved.
As I become more confident in my intrinsic worth, I don't have to prove it all the time. Which means I don't have to work so hard at pleasing others.
That's good.
But now I have to work really hard at knowing my limits and saying "no" when it is appropriate. I still get lots of anxious cries for help.
For example:
My AH decided to invite his entire extended family to "our" (I don't live there anymore) house for Christmas this year. I'm excited about them coming.
But.
The man hasn't really cleaned his house in the entire 4 months that I've been gone. The carpet hasn't been vacuumed. There are clothes everywhere. He doesn't dust or mop or clean the bathrooms. It's gross.
Which is fine for him - he's certainly entitled to live in whatever conditions he prefers, but it's certainly not "people are coming over to stay for three days" clean.
All this to say.....
He asked me to clean his house.:roflmao
It's easily 12 hours of hard work. If you paid a maid service to come do it, it would probably cost between $400 and $500. But, based on our past, he felt comfortable asking me to do this for him.
It is really eye-opening.
Especially because, in spite of how ridiculously huge this favor is, how much I don't want to spend my holiday break cleaning someone else's disgusting house FOR FREE, I still briefly considered doing it. Because it might "make him happy."
How sick am I?!
I told him to call a cleaning service.
If he doesn't, and doesn't clean it himself, I'm going to have to work really hard at letting go of any embarrassment associated with the cleanliness of HIS house in front of HIS family.
Not my job. Not my problem.
I'm going to be chanting a lot today.
Has anyone else out there been asked to do something way beyond the realm of a "normal favor"? I'd like to hear some stories, if you've got 'em!
Thanks!
-TC
It made me feel better about myself, and I could point to the giving as a reason that I should be loved.
As I become more confident in my intrinsic worth, I don't have to prove it all the time. Which means I don't have to work so hard at pleasing others.
That's good.
But now I have to work really hard at knowing my limits and saying "no" when it is appropriate. I still get lots of anxious cries for help.
For example:
My AH decided to invite his entire extended family to "our" (I don't live there anymore) house for Christmas this year. I'm excited about them coming.
But.
The man hasn't really cleaned his house in the entire 4 months that I've been gone. The carpet hasn't been vacuumed. There are clothes everywhere. He doesn't dust or mop or clean the bathrooms. It's gross.
Which is fine for him - he's certainly entitled to live in whatever conditions he prefers, but it's certainly not "people are coming over to stay for three days" clean.
All this to say.....
He asked me to clean his house.:roflmao
It's easily 12 hours of hard work. If you paid a maid service to come do it, it would probably cost between $400 and $500. But, based on our past, he felt comfortable asking me to do this for him.
It is really eye-opening.
Especially because, in spite of how ridiculously huge this favor is, how much I don't want to spend my holiday break cleaning someone else's disgusting house FOR FREE, I still briefly considered doing it. Because it might "make him happy."
How sick am I?!
I told him to call a cleaning service.
If he doesn't, and doesn't clean it himself, I'm going to have to work really hard at letting go of any embarrassment associated with the cleanliness of HIS house in front of HIS family.
Not my job. Not my problem.
I'm going to be chanting a lot today.
Has anyone else out there been asked to do something way beyond the realm of a "normal favor"? I'd like to hear some stories, if you've got 'em!
Thanks!
-TC
Topic: Faith/Trust
A Matter of Trust
Key Passage: Matthew 6:25-34
"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?" (Matthew 6:25, NLT).
Homer Simpson wanders through the dark woods until he stumbles and falls in front of a large billboard. He looks up to see the word "DIE" in big bold letters. Homer shrieks. Then the wind blows away some tree branches that obscured part of the billboard. And Homer sees the word "DIET" and screams even louder as he runs off.
It's funny on The Simpson's, but for many people faced with dieting, it feels like dying might actually be easier. They've tried it--and tried it many times. They've filled out the calorie charts, gone blind from reading the nutrition labels, and passed sleepless nights fighting the desire for a midnight run for ice cream and cookies. They desperately want to lose weight, but can't.
There's no end to the dieting books the flood the market. And the Christian marketplace is no different, with some authors going as far as equating fat with sin. Does that imply that God only loves thin people?
Nothing could be farther from the truth. There are good reasons for needing to lose weight, but gaining the love and respect of God is not one of them. Nowhere in the Bible does God say, "I only love people who weigh less than 150 pounds." He's never implied that His love increases as our weight decreases.
Near the end of His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?" (Matthew 6:25, NLT). Now the people Jesus was talking to had very little and worried they might not have enough. The person faced with dieting has a different situation, but the same worry: "If I cut back, will I have enough?" In both cases, Jesus answers, "Trust Me."
And that's the hard part, isn't it? It's far easier to trust the things we see around us. We see thin people smiling and happy on TV. We see the models being adored and the confidence in their faces and we want the same thing. God says, "I want to give you all those things too. I love and accept you. I want to lead you to friends who love you. I want to give you the confidence to face any trial, any trouble you may face."
But it's a different path that God calls us down. Can we trust Him?
Consider It
As you read through today's Scripture passage, think about the following questions:
While Jesus was talking to people who didn't have enough, how does this apply to those who have too much?
What worries prompt you to want to diet?
Where are you getting your standards for what's acceptable?
Apply It
A healthy diet is important for various reasons. And if your doctor has prescribed a diet and exercise regimen, then by all means follow his advice. But don't fall into the trap of thinking your social status is dependent on your weight or diet plan. God understands our need for love and fellowship, with both Him and others. But when we're so focused on getting those things for ourselves, we forget to turn to Him to provide for us.
What areas are you having a hard time trusting God in? Write down each one and then pray for them individually. Ask God to reassure you of His love and His provision.
Express It
Praise God for His love. Ask God to help you find the strength you need to trust Him in all things. If your focus on dieting is keeping you from serving God, ask Him for the ability to step away from that diet and trust Him for the results.
© 2008 NotReligion |
Key Passage: Matthew 6:25-34
"That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?" (Matthew 6:25, NLT).
Homer Simpson wanders through the dark woods until he stumbles and falls in front of a large billboard. He looks up to see the word "DIE" in big bold letters. Homer shrieks. Then the wind blows away some tree branches that obscured part of the billboard. And Homer sees the word "DIET" and screams even louder as he runs off.
It's funny on The Simpson's, but for many people faced with dieting, it feels like dying might actually be easier. They've tried it--and tried it many times. They've filled out the calorie charts, gone blind from reading the nutrition labels, and passed sleepless nights fighting the desire for a midnight run for ice cream and cookies. They desperately want to lose weight, but can't.
There's no end to the dieting books the flood the market. And the Christian marketplace is no different, with some authors going as far as equating fat with sin. Does that imply that God only loves thin people?
Nothing could be farther from the truth. There are good reasons for needing to lose weight, but gaining the love and respect of God is not one of them. Nowhere in the Bible does God say, "I only love people who weigh less than 150 pounds." He's never implied that His love increases as our weight decreases.
Near the end of His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life--whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn't life more than food, and your body more than clothing?" (Matthew 6:25, NLT). Now the people Jesus was talking to had very little and worried they might not have enough. The person faced with dieting has a different situation, but the same worry: "If I cut back, will I have enough?" In both cases, Jesus answers, "Trust Me."
And that's the hard part, isn't it? It's far easier to trust the things we see around us. We see thin people smiling and happy on TV. We see the models being adored and the confidence in their faces and we want the same thing. God says, "I want to give you all those things too. I love and accept you. I want to lead you to friends who love you. I want to give you the confidence to face any trial, any trouble you may face."
But it's a different path that God calls us down. Can we trust Him?
Consider It
As you read through today's Scripture passage, think about the following questions:
While Jesus was talking to people who didn't have enough, how does this apply to those who have too much?
What worries prompt you to want to diet?
Where are you getting your standards for what's acceptable?
Apply It
A healthy diet is important for various reasons. And if your doctor has prescribed a diet and exercise regimen, then by all means follow his advice. But don't fall into the trap of thinking your social status is dependent on your weight or diet plan. God understands our need for love and fellowship, with both Him and others. But when we're so focused on getting those things for ourselves, we forget to turn to Him to provide for us.
What areas are you having a hard time trusting God in? Write down each one and then pray for them individually. Ask God to reassure you of His love and His provision.
Express It
Praise God for His love. Ask God to help you find the strength you need to trust Him in all things. If your focus on dieting is keeping you from serving God, ask Him for the ability to step away from that diet and trust Him for the results.
© 2008 NotReligion |
1.5 days in….
Hi everyone, I threw my smokes away again, this would be the 4th time in about 1 month. I was an off and on smoker in my younger days, usually while sitting in a bar. I quit for years completely than a few years ago when my marriage was falling apart do to alcoholic hub I started secretlly smoking. I hated it but kept trying to smoke different brands etc. My hubby was secretlly drinking lol so I thought I would join the fun.
Two years later, I am in my own apartment and it has become my smoking cave. I do it alone and try to mask the smell with sprays candles etc. It's alot of work trying to secretlly smoke. Unexpected guests can come and what about the hair smelling and your clothes. I knew if someone might comeover, I would get up incredably early and put on a fan and open windows and chain smoke for a bit and than start the ritual of showering, teeth brushing, gum etc.
The worst thing that has been happening is my cronic cough. Sometimes in the morning I cough up chunks of lung..I swear..it is nasty. I am so mad at my self for this behavior. I do have a lot on my plate right now so why make it worse by slowly killing myself with cigs.
My youngest daughter had her first baby wed night. I was with her all day along with a great group of her friends and my other daughter. In the hopstipal setting, I could still smell smoke coming out of my mouth 12 hours after my last cigerette, plus my coughing.
On thanksgiving, our whole family came to the hospital and we had dinner there together. My ex was with us and I could really smell him, smoke mixed with old beer. I thought, I hope they can't smell me. When I got home to my secret smoking cave, I lit up. It made me feel tired and weak. So I stood up and ran water in the pack. 4th time this month, trully. So please send me some prayers. I don't feel good anymore and I really want to be healthy for my new grandaughter.
Thanks
Two years later, I am in my own apartment and it has become my smoking cave. I do it alone and try to mask the smell with sprays candles etc. It's alot of work trying to secretlly smoke. Unexpected guests can come and what about the hair smelling and your clothes. I knew if someone might comeover, I would get up incredably early and put on a fan and open windows and chain smoke for a bit and than start the ritual of showering, teeth brushing, gum etc.
The worst thing that has been happening is my cronic cough. Sometimes in the morning I cough up chunks of lung..I swear..it is nasty. I am so mad at my self for this behavior. I do have a lot on my plate right now so why make it worse by slowly killing myself with cigs.
My youngest daughter had her first baby wed night. I was with her all day along with a great group of her friends and my other daughter. In the hopstipal setting, I could still smell smoke coming out of my mouth 12 hours after my last cigerette, plus my coughing.
On thanksgiving, our whole family came to the hospital and we had dinner there together. My ex was with us and I could really smell him, smoke mixed with old beer. I thought, I hope they can't smell me. When I got home to my secret smoking cave, I lit up. It made me feel tired and weak. So I stood up and ran water in the pack. 4th time this month, trully. So please send me some prayers. I don't feel good anymore and I really want to be healthy for my new grandaughter.
Thanks
Talked to AH. I think I did OK???
Well I spoke with AH since he's left. I knew he would call or text over Thanksgiving. Texted asking how I was? I said good. He said I worry about you. I said Don't. When he got off work we talked for all but ten minutes. I told him that I was filing for divorce ASAP (you have to wait a yr here in NC but since he was only back 6 months) I' going to talk to a lawyer when I have the $$$ after the holidays. He said I don't want to talk to you if you're going to make me feel like a bigger piece of **** than I already do. I said that was not my intention to add to his bad feelings. I did want to comment on him saying I didn't provide him security. I said that's not true you only said that cause you were lying to me daily about your use and knew I was going to find out eventually and that was a deal breaker. Something he knew I would not tolerate well before he came back. He said yeah you're right. Asked what I was doing and I said staying busy. I made a my space page because I have 9 nieces and nephews and my step kids that I keep in contact with (they all have their dressed up "pimped" out pages). He said I have to go now I can't hear about you dating. :wtf2
He said he was working a lot and just trying to survive. Asked me if I wanted his address and I said no. I told him that I didn't want to remain friends with him or have any contact with him for a long time if ever. He said OK well I will always love and care about you. I said Bye. Then about 4am I get a text with his address. I said I didn't need it. What does he think?? I'm going to sent him love letters or Christmas gifts? He didn't ask for the things that he left here like his computer, TV, clothes pretty much everything and there was no way I was offering to mail it to him. Whatever!!!!!!!! He sounded full of shame and guilt. Boo Hoo!! I wanted to say enjoy your freezing cold winter in Buffalo but I didn't.
He said he was working a lot and just trying to survive. Asked me if I wanted his address and I said no. I told him that I didn't want to remain friends with him or have any contact with him for a long time if ever. He said OK well I will always love and care about you. I said Bye. Then about 4am I get a text with his address. I said I didn't need it. What does he think?? I'm going to sent him love letters or Christmas gifts? He didn't ask for the things that he left here like his computer, TV, clothes pretty much everything and there was no way I was offering to mail it to him. Whatever!!!!!!!! He sounded full of shame and guilt. Boo Hoo!! I wanted to say enjoy your freezing cold winter in Buffalo but I didn't.
Underwear Dust!
Underwear Dust
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your Clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your Butt!' :a043:
His Wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the Husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put Talcum Powder in my Underwear?'
She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder, It's 'Miracle Grow!' :yikes:
:rotfxko
Shalom!
One evening a Husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife 'Perhaps we should start washing your Clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your Butt!' :a043:
His Wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such a comment go unrewarded.
The next morning the Husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. 'What the Hell is this?' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloud appeared when he shook them out.
'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put Talcum Powder in my Underwear?'
She replied with a snicker. 'It's not talcum powder, It's 'Miracle Grow!' :yikes:
:rotfxko
Shalom!
Need advise - AS selling drugs?
My 18 yo AS went through a 28 day rehab and returned home 2 weeks ago. Within a week of returning home, he was using again. One of our boundaries was that if he was using, he could not live at home. He left, with his car, not much money, no job, no clothes, etc. He has been staying with a friend of his (I think his drug dealer). We turned off his cell phone the day after he left. He has come home 1 time in the last week to get a change of clothes.
Tonight, we receive a call from my AS best friend's parents. His best friend has been out of town for the past 5 weeks just as my AS was going into rehab. This friend was doing drugs with my son prior to his leaving town 5 weeks ago. This friend is back in town today. Tonight, he tells his parents that my AS is now dealing drugs to make money. This has just happened in this last week after we made him leave.
I am completely devastated. I don't know what to do. I can't believe my baby boy is doing this.
Tomorrow morning we plan to go over to where he is staying and retrieve his car. The car is also in my name, so I can legally take it. We are then going to dismantle it so it cannot be driven. This should at least make it more difficult for him.
I have written my AS a letter that I plan to drop off when we get the car. Basically, I tell him how much his father and I love him and that we would like him to come home and choose recovery. I then tell him that we have heard he is dealing drugs from his best friend so we have taken the car. Again, I tell him how much we love him. I then point out that dealing drugs is a felony. We, along with his best friend's parents, plan to go talk to the parent of the boy my son is staying with. He lives with just his dad. We plan on telling him what is going on. All these boys are just 18 yo. I then tell him again how much we love him and that he needs to make his own decisions, but they need to be legal ones.
Has anyone else been through this and could you please give me some advice?
Help!
Kathy
Tonight, we receive a call from my AS best friend's parents. His best friend has been out of town for the past 5 weeks just as my AS was going into rehab. This friend was doing drugs with my son prior to his leaving town 5 weeks ago. This friend is back in town today. Tonight, he tells his parents that my AS is now dealing drugs to make money. This has just happened in this last week after we made him leave.
I am completely devastated. I don't know what to do. I can't believe my baby boy is doing this.
Tomorrow morning we plan to go over to where he is staying and retrieve his car. The car is also in my name, so I can legally take it. We are then going to dismantle it so it cannot be driven. This should at least make it more difficult for him.
I have written my AS a letter that I plan to drop off when we get the car. Basically, I tell him how much his father and I love him and that we would like him to come home and choose recovery. I then tell him that we have heard he is dealing drugs from his best friend so we have taken the car. Again, I tell him how much we love him. I then point out that dealing drugs is a felony. We, along with his best friend's parents, plan to go talk to the parent of the boy my son is staying with. He lives with just his dad. We plan on telling him what is going on. All these boys are just 18 yo. I then tell him again how much we love him and that he needs to make his own decisions, but they need to be legal ones.
Has anyone else been through this and could you please give me some advice?
Help!
Kathy
