Archive for the ‘Clouds’ tag
the cheap detective………………….
:nyag
the cheap detective...................
the cheap detective?????????
his feet upon his desk, cigar smoke lingering above
looking out his window, no clouds in sight, sky blue
waiting for the next big case, this life is his love
and when a call comes in, a file he does make
knowing deep within, he can make no mistake
he goes thru the motions
name, address, phone, when can you come in
?I need all the details so I can get a lead?
he?ll check the facts, make some calls
very quickly,
he?ll have more information than he will ever need
quietly, he sits and waits, the minutes turn to hours
another puff on his cigar, it?s time to water the flowers
files upon the window sill, files upon the chair
files, files, and more files of ?case closed? everywhere
he?s got all the information from a to z
the only thing that?s lacking is a case from you or me
the phone rings again, he gives a short hello
he asks the right questions for what he needs to know
another file he makes and puts it to the side
his feet go back on his desk
as he lights another cigar
a glance out his window
the day is slowly ending
his office door ajar
a knock comes from the door, it opens very slow
?what can I do for you?? he says matter of factly, so so
?I?m looking for the cheap detective?
?come in, you are in the right place
tell me of the case?
he gets out another file, fills in all the blanks
another case to solve, another file to stamp ?closed?
he listens to the story, doesn?t believe a word
it a case that so many times before he?s already heard
but he is no judge; he?ll get all the facts
find out who did what to whom and why and when
so much info gathering, out of ink runs his pen
?I?m no ordinary gumshoe,
I?ll solve this case for you?
he?s so reassuring
he listens and listens some more
to this case that is so boring
it?s a job; he lives the life of a cheap detective
his feet upon his desk, cigar smoke lingering above
looking out his window, passing by a butterfly or two
waiting for the next big case, this life is his love
he grabs his hat, walks out the door
he?ll see this guy, that guy
soon he will know all he needs to know and more
a question here, a question there
puts 2 and 2 together, the answer will appear
his client comes to his office
?you have solved this case for me, how much do I owe you?
he gives a smile, no worry, :nyadI?ve solved your case for free
it?s a job, he lives the life of a cheap detective
his feet upon his desk, cigar smoke lingering above
looking out his window, the sun is setting, too
waiting for the next big case, this life is his love
the cheap detective...................
the cheap detective?????????
his feet upon his desk, cigar smoke lingering above
looking out his window, no clouds in sight, sky blue
waiting for the next big case, this life is his love
and when a call comes in, a file he does make
knowing deep within, he can make no mistake
he goes thru the motions
name, address, phone, when can you come in
?I need all the details so I can get a lead?
he?ll check the facts, make some calls
very quickly,
he?ll have more information than he will ever need
quietly, he sits and waits, the minutes turn to hours
another puff on his cigar, it?s time to water the flowers
files upon the window sill, files upon the chair
files, files, and more files of ?case closed? everywhere
he?s got all the information from a to z
the only thing that?s lacking is a case from you or me
the phone rings again, he gives a short hello
he asks the right questions for what he needs to know
another file he makes and puts it to the side
his feet go back on his desk
as he lights another cigar
a glance out his window
the day is slowly ending
his office door ajar
a knock comes from the door, it opens very slow
?what can I do for you?? he says matter of factly, so so
?I?m looking for the cheap detective?
?come in, you are in the right place
tell me of the case?
he gets out another file, fills in all the blanks
another case to solve, another file to stamp ?closed?
he listens to the story, doesn?t believe a word
it a case that so many times before he?s already heard
but he is no judge; he?ll get all the facts
find out who did what to whom and why and when
so much info gathering, out of ink runs his pen
?I?m no ordinary gumshoe,
I?ll solve this case for you?
he?s so reassuring
he listens and listens some more
to this case that is so boring
it?s a job; he lives the life of a cheap detective
his feet upon his desk, cigar smoke lingering above
looking out his window, passing by a butterfly or two
waiting for the next big case, this life is his love
he grabs his hat, walks out the door
he?ll see this guy, that guy
soon he will know all he needs to know and more
a question here, a question there
puts 2 and 2 together, the answer will appear
his client comes to his office
?you have solved this case for me, how much do I owe you?
he gives a smile, no worry, :nyadI?ve solved your case for free
it?s a job, he lives the life of a cheap detective
his feet upon his desk, cigar smoke lingering above
looking out his window, the sun is setting, too
waiting for the next big case, this life is his love
things i want to do in 2009
1. learn how to play the violin.
2. get a job, any job, asap.
3. get a tattoo of a mother bluebird and 4 smaller bluebirds to signify my children, flying into sky with a sun and some clouds. i think i will get it on my shoulder....no chicken skin there yet.
4. learn a second language.....maybe spanish or malybe italian.
5. look into going back to school.
anyone else want to join in their goals for 2009?
2. get a job, any job, asap.
3. get a tattoo of a mother bluebird and 4 smaller bluebirds to signify my children, flying into sky with a sun and some clouds. i think i will get it on my shoulder....no chicken skin there yet.
4. learn a second language.....maybe spanish or malybe italian.
5. look into going back to school.
anyone else want to join in their goals for 2009?
To Drink or Not to Drink….
Hi, All,
I'm new here, and am so glad to have found you all.
I wasn't sure whether to post in Al-Anon, or Women in Sobriety (I am a woman, but not in sobriety.) or Bikers (I ride) and then I found this link, and it looks right... I could use your help...
I am in love with a man I met a year ago. He is everything kind and good, loving and smart. (he is 42) My past relationships have not always had these qualities, and I'm learning to let this Man into my life. Crazy as it is, it was difficult to let the "good" one in.
Anyway... His ex-fiancé died of complications of alcoholism. After his fiancé died, he took to drinking pretty heavily. He stopped on his own accord. He hasn't had anything to drink in 4 years, until earlier this year, when he had a beer with his brother-in-law, who didn't know of the circumstances of the death of BF's fiancé, either.
Before I knew the details of his fiances’ death, we were out with his sister/brother-in-law as part of a cooking event at a winery (!). He mentioned that he wanted to try a glass of wine, so I poured one for him. His Sister about hit the clouds. She told me more about his past then he had mentioned.
I am no saint. I have had my time drinking too much. But I am older (50) and hopefully wiser, and don't do that anymore. I do still enjoy a drink every now and then. I don't want to do this with my boyfriend. After I learned of the dynamics of his past relationship, I told him that I don't want drinking to be part of who we are.
Now's the tricky part. I think he doesn't see his past drinking as a problem. I don't know if he has a problem or not. I know his past involved a lot of drinking, but he stopped. I've had my day in the drinking zone, but I'm not there now.
Is it right of me to have a beer when we are out with friends, when he isn't drinking? Before I knew any of this history, we'd go to family cookouts, and I'd have wine and he'd have tea. No mention no problem. Didn't have a clue.
I wonder a few things, too. Having been married to a drinker, I know the part I played in the continuation of that process. My ex-husband is now 22 years sober!! I'm proud of him. Learning that my Boyfriend's fiance was an alcoholic, and that they used to drink together scares me. I don't want to repeat history, his or mine!!! I think I'm answering my own questions and concerns as I type this. Drinking can't be part of who we are. It can't be part of whom I am when I am with him. I don't want to lose the man I love to a drink.
Your thoughts are appreciated.... ....
I'm new here, and am so glad to have found you all.
I wasn't sure whether to post in Al-Anon, or Women in Sobriety (I am a woman, but not in sobriety.) or Bikers (I ride) and then I found this link, and it looks right... I could use your help...
I am in love with a man I met a year ago. He is everything kind and good, loving and smart. (he is 42) My past relationships have not always had these qualities, and I'm learning to let this Man into my life. Crazy as it is, it was difficult to let the "good" one in.
Anyway... His ex-fiancé died of complications of alcoholism. After his fiancé died, he took to drinking pretty heavily. He stopped on his own accord. He hasn't had anything to drink in 4 years, until earlier this year, when he had a beer with his brother-in-law, who didn't know of the circumstances of the death of BF's fiancé, either.
Before I knew the details of his fiances’ death, we were out with his sister/brother-in-law as part of a cooking event at a winery (!). He mentioned that he wanted to try a glass of wine, so I poured one for him. His Sister about hit the clouds. She told me more about his past then he had mentioned.
I am no saint. I have had my time drinking too much. But I am older (50) and hopefully wiser, and don't do that anymore. I do still enjoy a drink every now and then. I don't want to do this with my boyfriend. After I learned of the dynamics of his past relationship, I told him that I don't want drinking to be part of who we are.
Now's the tricky part. I think he doesn't see his past drinking as a problem. I don't know if he has a problem or not. I know his past involved a lot of drinking, but he stopped. I've had my day in the drinking zone, but I'm not there now.
Is it right of me to have a beer when we are out with friends, when he isn't drinking? Before I knew any of this history, we'd go to family cookouts, and I'd have wine and he'd have tea. No mention no problem. Didn't have a clue.
I wonder a few things, too. Having been married to a drinker, I know the part I played in the continuation of that process. My ex-husband is now 22 years sober!! I'm proud of him. Learning that my Boyfriend's fiance was an alcoholic, and that they used to drink together scares me. I don't want to repeat history, his or mine!!! I think I'm answering my own questions and concerns as I type this. Drinking can't be part of who we are. It can't be part of whom I am when I am with him. I don't want to lose the man I love to a drink.
Your thoughts are appreciated.... ....
gave in
I gave up, after numerous freebie, craving-free weeks. This past week the cravings hit full force, though, and tonight I didn't resist at all.
Long story short: After I drank at the party, I sat down on a curve, and held my head in my hands. I saw this image of myself, asking me: "So it's just you and me now. Are you willing to do it?"
I'm used to effortlessness. Right now, I don't have a job, I'm barely keeping up with my long overdue classes, taking a colourful variety of meds that supposedly consolidate my mental health and sobriety, I'm hooked on cigarettes that fill a void, and basically take everything for granted, including my family and friends. When I decided to get sober for good 15 weeks ago, I had no cravings whatsoever, so I just coasted along with a relieved smile. That's the way things tend to be in my life: simply handed to me, implying no hard work whatsoever.
When I was a kid, my Grandmother used to say that I could charm the devil into doing whatever I pleased. That comment is obviously untrue, but it's not quite off the mark either. It set the stage for the way my life would be like, at least in appearance: seemingly sunny, filled with silver spoons, and requiring no effort. At all. So, yup, I'm just a Self-injuring martyr, now ignore those goddamn clouds... How's that for a martyr statement!
There is one thing - maybe the only thing - I'm proud of: I have tried my very best to never, ever, hurt anyone. Except for one notable exception, this is something I have excelled at. It's not that I try to be a "good person" or some other half assed notion along those lines. It's just the way I am. But:
I have hurt others unintentionally.
And I've also hurt myself.
What am I going to do differently this time around?
Well... ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
... there is a bigger picture, right? :(
Long story short: After I drank at the party, I sat down on a curve, and held my head in my hands. I saw this image of myself, asking me: "So it's just you and me now. Are you willing to do it?"
I'm used to effortlessness. Right now, I don't have a job, I'm barely keeping up with my long overdue classes, taking a colourful variety of meds that supposedly consolidate my mental health and sobriety, I'm hooked on cigarettes that fill a void, and basically take everything for granted, including my family and friends. When I decided to get sober for good 15 weeks ago, I had no cravings whatsoever, so I just coasted along with a relieved smile. That's the way things tend to be in my life: simply handed to me, implying no hard work whatsoever.
When I was a kid, my Grandmother used to say that I could charm the devil into doing whatever I pleased. That comment is obviously untrue, but it's not quite off the mark either. It set the stage for the way my life would be like, at least in appearance: seemingly sunny, filled with silver spoons, and requiring no effort. At all. So, yup, I'm just a Self-injuring martyr, now ignore those goddamn clouds... How's that for a martyr statement!
There is one thing - maybe the only thing - I'm proud of: I have tried my very best to never, ever, hurt anyone. Except for one notable exception, this is something I have excelled at. It's not that I try to be a "good person" or some other half assed notion along those lines. It's just the way I am. But:
maybe it's time to challenge that notion as well.
I have hurt others unintentionally.
And I've also hurt myself.
What am I going to do differently this time around?
Well... ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING.
... there is a bigger picture, right? :(
Set me free G-d
I feel strong and empowered.. not weak and confined.. I am powerless many things, but not powerless to the strength to send my ah out on his ass.. too long.. Im tired,, exhaused from the emotional toll this has been on my life.. 9 long years of exhaustion.... I carried it as long as I could.. Im done.. Life is too beautiful and my beautiful daughter is too precious.. After 5 months away in rehab, 4 months sober my husband has gone from the grateful father and husband to a downward spiral of darkness, evil and depression.. All those old feelings are back,,, the fear,rage and frustration. this time its different though.. I can see clearly on what is best for me and my daughter...Im not lost in the clouds like I was for so long..trying, too hard. I have given my husband plenty of opportunity to step up to the plate and grap onto his own reins...He refuses...he would rather slither away in his own sickness.. Im done... I WILL NOT LIVE THIS WAY ANYMORE.. It was a statement I made the day he left for rehab..And It has stayed with me. His relapse has taken him far into the darkness and I choose the light...He resists sober living.. he resists A.A.. I can say I love my husband so much and it pains me to break free..but I can and I will.. Life is too much of a miracle to spend trying to save, when Now is the time to save myself..He wont leave the house.. I have to go to the courthouse and file temp.rest..order...and send him right to the place his disease will carry him.. the the gutter.. It breaks my heart.you all know the loving men that these guys are... its sad..how his mind is just controlled.. he has become my worst fear. I have no other choice but to send him out without anything.. HE has nothing.No money, no friends,, and the family is with me on this onee,,what will he do???? At this point its not MY ISSUE anymore..Im on my way to taking my life back... step by step:):praying
It is Well With My Soul
I felt like putting this up again..my second fave hymn. Maybe some
of you will enjoy seeing it again.
:flower5:
of you will enjoy seeing it again.
:flower5:
Quote:
|
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way, When sorrows like sea billows roll; Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say, It is well, it is well, with my soul. Refrain It is well, with my soul, It is well, with my soul, It is well, it is well, with my soul. Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come, Let this blest assurance control, That Christ has regarded my helpless estate, And hath shed His own blood for my soul. Refrain My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought! My sin, not in part but the whole, Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more, Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul! Refrain For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live: If Jordan above me shall roll, No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul. Refrain But, Lord, ‘tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait, The sky, not the grave, is our goal; Oh trump of the angel! Oh voice of the Lord! Blessèd hope, blessèd rest of my soul! Refrain And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight, The clouds be rolled back as a scroll; The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend, Even so, it is well with my soul. Refrain Horatio M. Spafford |
Tell me about your User Name!
I know it is kind of an obsure question, and some of them are very obvious, which I appreciate so much, like: Tryingsohard, NoMoMerlotMamma, TooMutch, TTOBST (To Thine On Self Be True), ItsMyTime, etc. But I remember sitting at my office trying to think of something unique and I just sat there thinking and thinking, uh computer, no printerhead, no pencilhead, no calendargirl, NO all of a sudden I came up with Eclipse...no idea where it came from...just popped into my head. So I went with it. Later I googled eclipse just to see what it would say and this is what I got:
In Greek: "I cease to exist," "I am absent",
The loss, usually temporary or partial, of light, brilliancy, luster, honor, consciousness, etc.; obscuration; gloom; darkness.
to darken or hide
How depressing! is this all a subconscious thing that I am just figuring out in my new state of soberness? Is there where I had gone?
I think I may have to change my name at some point to: sunburst
a sudden emergence of the sun from behind clouds --we'll see how things go!
How did you come up with you user name and wow I am too deep for myself tonite!:e088:
In Greek: "I cease to exist," "I am absent",
The loss, usually temporary or partial, of light, brilliancy, luster, honor, consciousness, etc.; obscuration; gloom; darkness.
to darken or hide
How depressing! is this all a subconscious thing that I am just figuring out in my new state of soberness? Is there where I had gone?
I think I may have to change my name at some point to: sunburst
a sudden emergence of the sun from behind clouds --we'll see how things go!
How did you come up with you user name and wow I am too deep for myself tonite!:e088:
