Archive for the ‘Cobra’ tag
I just need some help
I really hope I am in the right place and if not don't shoot me :)
I don't know really where to turn because I have never dealt with anything like this ever, but my mother just passed away. She was an alcoholic. It's such a strong statement and takes a lot for me to say. She just turned into a different woman over the years, and it was not my mother. This is my first holiday without her and I can barely write this post. I am no stranger to forums but not of this type. I love working on my mustang, and my Mom could NOT get enough of riding in my car. My very first car was a 94 cobra and she had to test drive it first, needless to say I then realized my mom was an awesome driver!! I have no idea how to cope with her death and I hope I am not posting in the wrong type of forum, but I'm spiraling into such a depression lately that I could use just any advice at all. I think I have the same question as anyone else who just lost a parent...what do I do now?
love
Wesley
I don't know really where to turn because I have never dealt with anything like this ever, but my mother just passed away. She was an alcoholic. It's such a strong statement and takes a lot for me to say. She just turned into a different woman over the years, and it was not my mother. This is my first holiday without her and I can barely write this post. I am no stranger to forums but not of this type. I love working on my mustang, and my Mom could NOT get enough of riding in my car. My very first car was a 94 cobra and she had to test drive it first, needless to say I then realized my mom was an awesome driver!! I have no idea how to cope with her death and I hope I am not posting in the wrong type of forum, but I'm spiraling into such a depression lately that I could use just any advice at all. I think I have the same question as anyone else who just lost a parent...what do I do now?
love
Wesley
AH just left his second rehab AGAIN…
I posted this on FFSA also - you guys have been so helpful to me, I just wanted to update.
I just got a call from his mom, apparantly the nurse called her because he only included HER to be the one to talk to nurses, doctors, counselors, staff etc. I know he did this because he knows he can pull the wool over her eyes very quickly and that I can see through him and will be STRAIGHT with his counselors. That's a slam in the face right there to me.
This is day 8 for him, the second time around at the same rehab. So he's not made it past 8 days in a rehab ever. If you recall, he was kicked out 50 days ago for using while in rehab. I've been paying Cobra $1700 a month just to KEEP this insurance because he'd lost his job of 19 years. BECAUSE IT PAID FULLY FOR THIS REHAB - to the tune of $16k! I took the kids and I's insurance down a notch to accomodate for HIM.
He's clean now and told his mom he's done with drugs, but he hates it up there, can't sleep, can do this by himself, it's the same old thing over and over again in the meetings he's attending. I am just so beside myself right now.
I've called the rehab to get a message to him, but because of patient confidentiality and me being EXCLUDED they can't tell me whether he's yet left or is packing or what. If he doesn't call in the next 15 minutes I'll assume he's already gone. He doesn't have a cell phone with him, and it will take him 4 hours to get home so I have to agonize all day. He'd tried to call last night and I called him back, but they have 1 phone on a floor and it was busy the entire night until 11:00 so I didn't get a chance to talk to him.
If being kicked out of your house where your wife and kids live, losing your job, having NO money, resulting to pawning a necklace that I bought him 20 years ago for 1/4 of it's price.... Isn't his bottom, what will be? I am just so upset at how low he's gone. How hard is it for someone to complete a 28 day rehab? Can it be any harder than me working 70 hours a week, coaching soccer, caring for 2 kids, planning their birthday party, taking care of a house, paying the bills??? Can COMPLETING a rehab be THAT hard?????
I'm not saying he's leaving because he wants to use, I think he's leaving because he thinks he can do this all by himself. Like he's clean now, not sick and will just come back, get a job, get right, become the family man he always said he wanted to be and all of that.
Can someone like this ever be right? For 20 years he's not been able to do this by himself. He's not one for meetings or reading books or any of that. How can he do it by himself WITHOUT those things? He keeps saying he knows all of what the meetings are saying - it's just doing it. Some counselor up there told him that he kicked a crack addiction by just putting his mind to it. No meetings, no counseling, no books, nothing. AH latched onto his words and his success.
I know that rehab is suppose to be for HIM - but am I wrong in thinking that he could AT LEAST complete the rehab not only for himself, but for the kids and I, my family etc? I'm viewing him as a selfish jerk who can't even do what he needs to do (complete rehab) for himself and his family. How can someone invest any more time into an addict if they can't even work the steps? I feel like if he COULD have done this by himself, WTH didn't he do it 10 years ago??
His mom called the rehab just now and they said he left 30 minutes ago.
I just got a call from his mom, apparantly the nurse called her because he only included HER to be the one to talk to nurses, doctors, counselors, staff etc. I know he did this because he knows he can pull the wool over her eyes very quickly and that I can see through him and will be STRAIGHT with his counselors. That's a slam in the face right there to me.
This is day 8 for him, the second time around at the same rehab. So he's not made it past 8 days in a rehab ever. If you recall, he was kicked out 50 days ago for using while in rehab. I've been paying Cobra $1700 a month just to KEEP this insurance because he'd lost his job of 19 years. BECAUSE IT PAID FULLY FOR THIS REHAB - to the tune of $16k! I took the kids and I's insurance down a notch to accomodate for HIM.
He's clean now and told his mom he's done with drugs, but he hates it up there, can't sleep, can do this by himself, it's the same old thing over and over again in the meetings he's attending. I am just so beside myself right now.
I've called the rehab to get a message to him, but because of patient confidentiality and me being EXCLUDED they can't tell me whether he's yet left or is packing or what. If he doesn't call in the next 15 minutes I'll assume he's already gone. He doesn't have a cell phone with him, and it will take him 4 hours to get home so I have to agonize all day. He'd tried to call last night and I called him back, but they have 1 phone on a floor and it was busy the entire night until 11:00 so I didn't get a chance to talk to him.
If being kicked out of your house where your wife and kids live, losing your job, having NO money, resulting to pawning a necklace that I bought him 20 years ago for 1/4 of it's price.... Isn't his bottom, what will be? I am just so upset at how low he's gone. How hard is it for someone to complete a 28 day rehab? Can it be any harder than me working 70 hours a week, coaching soccer, caring for 2 kids, planning their birthday party, taking care of a house, paying the bills??? Can COMPLETING a rehab be THAT hard?????
I'm not saying he's leaving because he wants to use, I think he's leaving because he thinks he can do this all by himself. Like he's clean now, not sick and will just come back, get a job, get right, become the family man he always said he wanted to be and all of that.
Can someone like this ever be right? For 20 years he's not been able to do this by himself. He's not one for meetings or reading books or any of that. How can he do it by himself WITHOUT those things? He keeps saying he knows all of what the meetings are saying - it's just doing it. Some counselor up there told him that he kicked a crack addiction by just putting his mind to it. No meetings, no counseling, no books, nothing. AH latched onto his words and his success.
I know that rehab is suppose to be for HIM - but am I wrong in thinking that he could AT LEAST complete the rehab not only for himself, but for the kids and I, my family etc? I'm viewing him as a selfish jerk who can't even do what he needs to do (complete rehab) for himself and his family. How can someone invest any more time into an addict if they can't even work the steps? I feel like if he COULD have done this by himself, WTH didn't he do it 10 years ago??
His mom called the rehab just now and they said he left 30 minutes ago.
AH is leaving his second rehab AGAIN…
I just got a call from his mom, apparantly the nurse called her because he only included HER to be the one to talk to nurses, doctors, counselors, staff etc. I know he did this because he knows he can pull the wool over her eyes very quickly and that I can see through him and will be STRAIGHT with his counselors. That's a slam in the face right there to me.
This is day 8 for him, the second time around at the same rehab. So he's not made it past 8 days in a rehab ever. If you recall, he was kicked out 50 days ago for using while in rehab. I've been paying Cobra $1700 a month just to KEEP this insurance because he'd lost his job of 19 years. BECAUSE IT PAID FULLY FOR THIS REHAB - to the tune of $16k! I took the kids and I's insurance down a notch to accomodate for HIM.
He's clean now and told his mom he's done with drugs, but he hates it up there, can't sleep, can do this by himself, it's the same old thing over and over again in the meetings he's attending. I am just so beside myself right now.
I've called the rehab to get a message to him, but because of patient confidentiality and me being EXCLUDED they can't tell me whether he's yet left or is packing or what. If he doesn't call in the next 15 minutes I'll assume he's already gone. He doesn't have a cell phone with him, and it will take him 4 hours to get home so I have to agonize all day. He'd tried to call last night and I called him back, but they have 1 phone on a floor and it was busy the entire night until 11:00 so I didn't get a chance to talk to him.
If being kicked out of your house where your wife and kids live, losing your job, having NO money, resulting to pawning a necklace that I bought him 20 years ago for 1/4 of it's price.... Isn't his bottom, what will be? I am just so upset at how low he's gone. How hard is it for someone to complete a 28 day rehab? Can it be any harder than me working 70 hours a week, coaching soccer, caring for 2 kids, planning their birthday party, taking care of a house, paying the bills??? Can COMPLETING a rehab be THAT hard?????
I'm not saying he's leaving because he wants to use, I think he's leaving because he thinks he can do this all by himself. Like he's clean now, not sick and will just come back, get a job, get right, become the family man he always said he wanted to be and all of that.
Can someone like this ever be right? For 20 years he's not been able to do this by himself. He's not one for meetings or reading books or any of that. How can he do it by himself WITHOUT those things? He keeps saying he knows all of what the meetings are saying - it's just doing it. Some counselor up there told him that he kicked a crack addiction by just putting his mind to it. No meetings, no counseling, no books, nothing. AH latched onto his words and his success.
I know that rehab is suppose to be for HIM - but am I wrong in thinking that he could AT LEAST complete the rehab not only for himself, but for the kids and I, my family etc? I'm viewing him as a selfish jerk who can't even do what he needs to do (complete rehab) for himself and his family. How can someone invest any more time into an addict if they can't even work the steps? I feel like if he COULD have done this by himself, WTH didn't he do it 10 years ago??
His mom called the rehab just now and they said he left 30 minutes ago.
This is day 8 for him, the second time around at the same rehab. So he's not made it past 8 days in a rehab ever. If you recall, he was kicked out 50 days ago for using while in rehab. I've been paying Cobra $1700 a month just to KEEP this insurance because he'd lost his job of 19 years. BECAUSE IT PAID FULLY FOR THIS REHAB - to the tune of $16k! I took the kids and I's insurance down a notch to accomodate for HIM.
He's clean now and told his mom he's done with drugs, but he hates it up there, can't sleep, can do this by himself, it's the same old thing over and over again in the meetings he's attending. I am just so beside myself right now.
I've called the rehab to get a message to him, but because of patient confidentiality and me being EXCLUDED they can't tell me whether he's yet left or is packing or what. If he doesn't call in the next 15 minutes I'll assume he's already gone. He doesn't have a cell phone with him, and it will take him 4 hours to get home so I have to agonize all day. He'd tried to call last night and I called him back, but they have 1 phone on a floor and it was busy the entire night until 11:00 so I didn't get a chance to talk to him.
If being kicked out of your house where your wife and kids live, losing your job, having NO money, resulting to pawning a necklace that I bought him 20 years ago for 1/4 of it's price.... Isn't his bottom, what will be? I am just so upset at how low he's gone. How hard is it for someone to complete a 28 day rehab? Can it be any harder than me working 70 hours a week, coaching soccer, caring for 2 kids, planning their birthday party, taking care of a house, paying the bills??? Can COMPLETING a rehab be THAT hard?????
I'm not saying he's leaving because he wants to use, I think he's leaving because he thinks he can do this all by himself. Like he's clean now, not sick and will just come back, get a job, get right, become the family man he always said he wanted to be and all of that.
Can someone like this ever be right? For 20 years he's not been able to do this by himself. He's not one for meetings or reading books or any of that. How can he do it by himself WITHOUT those things? He keeps saying he knows all of what the meetings are saying - it's just doing it. Some counselor up there told him that he kicked a crack addiction by just putting his mind to it. No meetings, no counseling, no books, nothing. AH latched onto his words and his success.
I know that rehab is suppose to be for HIM - but am I wrong in thinking that he could AT LEAST complete the rehab not only for himself, but for the kids and I, my family etc? I'm viewing him as a selfish jerk who can't even do what he needs to do (complete rehab) for himself and his family. How can someone invest any more time into an addict if they can't even work the steps? I feel like if he COULD have done this by himself, WTH didn't he do it 10 years ago??
His mom called the rehab just now and they said he left 30 minutes ago.
Health Insurance in Recovery
Hello SR Friends- I was wondering if anyone has any experience buying health insurance while in rehab.
My son age 23 is in an extended program now, waiting for a bed in a sober living home.
Due to his circumstances he withdrew from college before classes actually began this month- therefore no longer eligible under our health insurance.
COBRA is an option but found out today the cost is $500/month.
There are quite a few short term health plans available on internet- high deductible but up to $2M coverage.
The ones I've looked at though ask several questions and one always is whether the person has been diagnosed/treated with alcoholism. I haven't proceeded truthfully after this point because who knows what database the information will end up on.
Does anyone know if you answer YES to that question does that disqualify one for the insurance?
Any ideas from anyone on how to approach this? Anyone work for a health insurance co?
My son age 23 is in an extended program now, waiting for a bed in a sober living home.
Due to his circumstances he withdrew from college before classes actually began this month- therefore no longer eligible under our health insurance.
COBRA is an option but found out today the cost is $500/month.
There are quite a few short term health plans available on internet- high deductible but up to $2M coverage.
The ones I've looked at though ask several questions and one always is whether the person has been diagnosed/treated with alcoholism. I haven't proceeded truthfully after this point because who knows what database the information will end up on.
Does anyone know if you answer YES to that question does that disqualify one for the insurance?
Any ideas from anyone on how to approach this? Anyone work for a health insurance co?
