Archive for the ‘Comfort Zone’ tag
Highs and lows
Hello Everyone,
I am 29 days into recovery. For 27 days I was feeling great, on top of the world, I'll even say spectacular!
For the past two days I have been feeling bad but afraid to tell anyone. My new AA friends seem so excited about how great I have been doing/feeling, I don't want to disappoint them or let them know I have not been feeling well. They are my biggest cheerleaders.
I am feeling not very excited about my new life all of a sudden, I think I actually MISS my old ways, my comfort with the known. This is all so new for me, I am so out of my comfort zone on so many levels.
Suddenly, I have been craving a drink like crazy (one day at a time has been working), and I have had an urge to hang out with my old "friends" in my same old bad places. I am thinking "this too shall pass", and maybe this is a part of recovery? I am so afraid this is a sign that I have not hit bottom or that I am not ready yet. Tonight I am not having a drink because right now, this minute I want to be sober more than I want to drink. I am taking day by day and right now minute by minute.
I am afraid that it is going to get worse if I don't do something, change something, etc. I want to better my life but my old life suddenly seems so comfortable. Crazy but true. I am craving familiarity I think more than alcohol but everything seems so mixed up right now.
Is this a part of recovery and how long will it last? Am I not ready for recovery?? I am terrified of this thought. Please advise.
Thank you,
BA
I am 29 days into recovery. For 27 days I was feeling great, on top of the world, I'll even say spectacular!
For the past two days I have been feeling bad but afraid to tell anyone. My new AA friends seem so excited about how great I have been doing/feeling, I don't want to disappoint them or let them know I have not been feeling well. They are my biggest cheerleaders.
I am feeling not very excited about my new life all of a sudden, I think I actually MISS my old ways, my comfort with the known. This is all so new for me, I am so out of my comfort zone on so many levels.
Suddenly, I have been craving a drink like crazy (one day at a time has been working), and I have had an urge to hang out with my old "friends" in my same old bad places. I am thinking "this too shall pass", and maybe this is a part of recovery? I am so afraid this is a sign that I have not hit bottom or that I am not ready yet. Tonight I am not having a drink because right now, this minute I want to be sober more than I want to drink. I am taking day by day and right now minute by minute.
I am afraid that it is going to get worse if I don't do something, change something, etc. I want to better my life but my old life suddenly seems so comfortable. Crazy but true. I am craving familiarity I think more than alcohol but everything seems so mixed up right now.
Is this a part of recovery and how long will it last? Am I not ready for recovery?? I am terrified of this thought. Please advise.
Thank you,
BA
****Update****
***Update***
Some of you may remember my story. I have been with my AH for over 20 years. I had finally reached my breaking point and found an apartment. The week I was to move, I lost my job
In two months time:
AH found out about the apartment, and consequently my son and I moved in without me having a a job. Two weeks after I moved, I found a higher paying job. My higher power had moved mountains and did for me what I could not do for myself. One of which follow through with the move and two find a better job. I could not just move on my own, my higher power pushed me out of my comfort zone.
NOW –
I am so much happier, so much more relaxed. There are times I second guess myself, but they are somewhat subsiding. I am still paying mortgage on the house we co-own as well as rent and money is TIGHT. But, I attribute that to the cost of my sanity and am looking for a second job to help my finances. AH wants to get back together. I try to avoid him, I am kinda feeling like we’ve had all those conversations already and I am tired of rehashing things. We did try to go to a counseling session a few weeks ago, our counselor asked if my husband was drinking, he got offended and stormed out. (Higher power again!). Every time I see him, he is either drunk or on his way to drunk. I told him I cannot talk to him while he is drunk, so I guess we won’t talk. I sometimes feel like I am avoiding the situation, but I am holding up my end of the house – for how long I don’t know, but as long as I can as the house has been on the market forever and has not sold. So that is a bit of the unknown here, but I will leave it in my higher power’s hands.
Moral of the story – It is not easy, it is very difficult to leave but it is so worth it. I just turned 39, lived with addictions for ALL my life and for the first time can concentrate on me. Sure, the codie ness rears its head, sure, I feel sorry for him at times, but I am feeling for myself more. I have plans, I smile, and am finally doing things for me without worrying about someone’s drunken behavior or stinking attitude and just general miserableness making my life not my life, but an awful extension of his.
Thanks to all at Sober Recovery – I have been here for years, and could not have done it without you. Special thanks to Former Doormat, Denny57, Barbara52, Prodigal, Rella, Minnie, Jazzman, all of your insight, although difficult to read and hard to process, but dead on.
CBB
Some of you may remember my story. I have been with my AH for over 20 years. I had finally reached my breaking point and found an apartment. The week I was to move, I lost my job
In two months time:
AH found out about the apartment, and consequently my son and I moved in without me having a a job. Two weeks after I moved, I found a higher paying job. My higher power had moved mountains and did for me what I could not do for myself. One of which follow through with the move and two find a better job. I could not just move on my own, my higher power pushed me out of my comfort zone.
NOW –
I am so much happier, so much more relaxed. There are times I second guess myself, but they are somewhat subsiding. I am still paying mortgage on the house we co-own as well as rent and money is TIGHT. But, I attribute that to the cost of my sanity and am looking for a second job to help my finances. AH wants to get back together. I try to avoid him, I am kinda feeling like we’ve had all those conversations already and I am tired of rehashing things. We did try to go to a counseling session a few weeks ago, our counselor asked if my husband was drinking, he got offended and stormed out. (Higher power again!). Every time I see him, he is either drunk or on his way to drunk. I told him I cannot talk to him while he is drunk, so I guess we won’t talk. I sometimes feel like I am avoiding the situation, but I am holding up my end of the house – for how long I don’t know, but as long as I can as the house has been on the market forever and has not sold. So that is a bit of the unknown here, but I will leave it in my higher power’s hands.
Moral of the story – It is not easy, it is very difficult to leave but it is so worth it. I just turned 39, lived with addictions for ALL my life and for the first time can concentrate on me. Sure, the codie ness rears its head, sure, I feel sorry for him at times, but I am feeling for myself more. I have plans, I smile, and am finally doing things for me without worrying about someone’s drunken behavior or stinking attitude and just general miserableness making my life not my life, but an awful extension of his.
Thanks to all at Sober Recovery – I have been here for years, and could not have done it without you. Special thanks to Former Doormat, Denny57, Barbara52, Prodigal, Rella, Minnie, Jazzman, all of your insight, although difficult to read and hard to process, but dead on.
CBB
dang it
I have been drinking beyond my comfort zone It used to be a couple times a year now has crept into most days of the week. I have prommised myself for the last week that I wouldn't drink but low & behold I have. I have to get a grip & stop. I think I might need a f 2 f meeing.
