Archive for the ‘Connectedness’ tag
Life or Death
I've thought a lot the past week about life and death. My dad, who wasn't supposed to live through the night Christmas Eve is still hanging in there, and I was blessed to spend Saturday with 22 of my immediate family members, surrounding him with love. My AH chose to stay home alone and drink. The way I see it he is also dying, a sad and lonely death. He hasn't spoken to me since, hasn't asked about his father-in-law. His mom told me "He has a hard time dealing with death". My response was, "No, he has a hard time dealing with life."
It struck me, as I was there with all of those people around, the stark contrast of how things are for me now, and how they can be moving forward. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we even got a little irritated with each other at times. We felt. We were not numb. So I have determined that the last (and best) gift my dad has given me is the ability to choose to live. To take the path that leads to joy and connectedness with those around me. Sadly, I'll be leaving 2 of the most influential men in my life behind.
Thanks for letting me share.
It struck me, as I was there with all of those people around, the stark contrast of how things are for me now, and how they can be moving forward. We laughed, we cried, we hugged, and we even got a little irritated with each other at times. We felt. We were not numb. So I have determined that the last (and best) gift my dad has given me is the ability to choose to live. To take the path that leads to joy and connectedness with those around me. Sadly, I'll be leaving 2 of the most influential men in my life behind.
Thanks for letting me share.
Choice Theory
Choice Theory
The 1998 book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, is the primary text for all that is taught by The William Glasser Institute. Choice theory states that:
all we do is behave,
that almost all behavior is chosen, and
that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.
In practice, the most important need is love and belonging, as closeness and connectedness with the people we care about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs.
Choice theory, with the Seven Caring Habits, replaces external control psychology and the Seven Deadly Habits. External control, the present psychology of almost all people in the world, is destructive to relationships. When used, it will destroy the ability of one or both to find satisfaction in that relationship and will result in a disconnection from each other. Being disconnected is the source of almost all human problems such as what is called mental illness, drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, spousal abuse, to mention a few.
Relationships and our Habits
Seven Caring Habits Seven Deadly Habits
1. Supporting 1. Criticizing
2. Encouraging 2. Blaming
3. Listening 3. Complaining
4. Accepting 4. Nagging
5. Trusting 5. Threatening
6. Respecting 6. Punishing
7. Negotiating differences 7. Bribing, rewarding to control
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
All we can give another person is information.
All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
All we do is behave.
All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.
The 1998 book, Choice Theory: A New Psychology of Personal Freedom, is the primary text for all that is taught by The William Glasser Institute. Choice theory states that:
all we do is behave,
that almost all behavior is chosen, and
that we are driven by our genes to satisfy five basic needs: survival, love and belonging, power, freedom and fun.
In practice, the most important need is love and belonging, as closeness and connectedness with the people we care about is a requisite for satisfying all of the needs.
Choice theory, with the Seven Caring Habits, replaces external control psychology and the Seven Deadly Habits. External control, the present psychology of almost all people in the world, is destructive to relationships. When used, it will destroy the ability of one or both to find satisfaction in that relationship and will result in a disconnection from each other. Being disconnected is the source of almost all human problems such as what is called mental illness, drug addiction, violence, crime, school failure, spousal abuse, to mention a few.
Relationships and our Habits
Seven Caring Habits Seven Deadly Habits
1. Supporting 1. Criticizing
2. Encouraging 2. Blaming
3. Listening 3. Complaining
4. Accepting 4. Nagging
5. Trusting 5. Threatening
6. Respecting 6. Punishing
7. Negotiating differences 7. Bribing, rewarding to control
The Ten Axioms of Choice Theory
The only person whose behavior we can control is our own.
All we can give another person is information.
All long-lasting psychological problems are relationship problems.
The problem relationship is always part of our present life.
What happened in the past has everything to do with what we are today, but we can only satisfy our basic needs right now and plan to continue satisfying them in the future.
We can only satisfy our needs by satisfying the pictures in our Quality World.
All we do is behave.
All behavior is Total Behavior and is made up of four components: acting, thinking, feeling and physiology.
All Total Behavior is chosen, but we only have direct control over the acting and thinking components. We can only control our feeling and physiology indirectly through how we choose to act and think.
All Total Behavior is designated by verbs and named by the part that is the most recognizable.
