Drug Rehab Options Blog

I received this in an email. ...A student from the Wright Institute, under the supervision of recovery-oriented faculty, is conducting an anonymous online study of emotions and personality, and would like to have many people in recovery participating in the study. If you are interested and willing, please join in this study.


Study of Emotions and Personality - Survey

You are invited to participate in a voluntary study conducted by Lynn E. O'Connor, Ph.D., Thomas Lewis, M.D., and Jack W. Berry. The only requirement to be a participant is that you be at least 18 years of age. You will not be paid for your participation in this research study.

If you volunteer to participate in this study, we will ask you to complete a survey. The total length of time for completion of the survey is approximately 15-30 minutes.

You can refer back to our research group's web site at Emotion, Personality, and Altruism Research Group. The results of this study will be available on request when the research project has been completed.

This study is entirely anonymous - no identifying information will be collected about you, or the computer or Internet service provider through which you are accessing this web site.

This study is entirely voluntary. If you volunteer to be in this study, you may end your participation at any time without consequences of any kind. You may end your participation by closing your web browser, or by directing your web browser to another site on the World Wide Web.

If you have any questions or concerns about the research, please feel free to contact the Principal Investigators:

"In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like. But even in this type of beginning we are obliged to admit that our justification for a spree was insanely insufficient in the light of what always happened. We now see that when we began to drink deliberately, instead of casually, there was little serious or effective thought during the period of premeditation, of what the terrific consequences might be."

Was informed a couple of days ago that my EXABF whom I officially went no contact with on Sept 24th announced to some of our mutual friends that he is engaged to a lady from Washington that he met in October and he will either be relocating to Washington or she and her 2 kids will relocate to Colorado once they are married. We split up 3 months ago...the man moves fast....because during the first month of our parting ways he was still dating the waitress who works at one of his favorite bars with whom he was cheating on me with while we were still together(his cheating on me with this person while we were together was confirmed, hence the no contact starting on Sept 24th). I was in such a state of shock and anger yesterday that no matter what I tried to do to detach, remember that what he does is none of my business, and refocus on myself....I couldn't. I was so mad that once again...he is doing everything in his power to avoid dealing with any of his problems and is once again avoiding moving to Texas to be with his 3 kids from his 2nd marriage. I was so angry last night that I almost called him to tell him he was insane to be bringing 3 more innocent people into his insane alcoholic world when he knows that he is toxic (he admitted that to me before I left him). I still am in shock at how this man continually gets away with every bad thing that he does. The bad news is....I let myself get brought back into his drama. The good news is....I didn't call him and went to an Al-Anon meeting this morning to try to puts things into perspective...which it always does. My new found perspective is that what he does is none of my business and by me interfering in anyway keeps him from suffering the consequences of his actions. Like you all say on here....Nothing Changes if Nothing Changes. Thanks for listening.

If you don't remember I turned in my exAH for drunk driving back in July. I requested to be anonymous but it came out to exAH's attorney. Exah never said a word if he knew it was me or not. He was sentenced on Tuesday and has lost his license, fines, penalties etc. He has to walk here to see baby.

I just got the following text from his daughter14:

"Do you have any idea how much pain you are causing my family. The things you are making my dad go through. Taking all of his money that you really don't need and try and make him lose his job, lose his license for NINE MONTHS because of something stupid you did. And trying to take baby away from us. If you are trying to make everyone in my life miserable you are doing a damn good job. I used to have respect for you as my stepmom but just look at the impression you are leaving on us now. I hope you have a nice life knowing that you are ruining ours."

WTF! How did I ruin their lives? EXAH chose to drink and drive all the time. I stood in between EXAH and his kids so many times so he wouldn't drive with them! Now I am getting blamed for his consequences. The text didn't sound like she wrote it...more like someone else telling her what to write.

I have not responded nor do I think I should. I am shaking. I have been getting blocked calls all night as well.

What should I say or do? How soon they forget all the things he has done and are now looking at him as a victim. Do I fess up or keep ignoring them?

Help please!

I wanted to spend a moment and thank each of you for my continued New Life. Living free is not a destination; it is a wondrous journey and I relish moving forward, learning and growing. We are travelling to Indiana this week for Thanksgiving; nothing like homecooked bird and dressing!

For years, Thanksgivings was not a time of thoughtfulness, but rather a struggle to live while chained to booze and the attendant behavior, insanity and consequences. Whether it was in an abandoned building, jail, a mission or in an alley, I spent this coming holiday in self pity, remorse, guilt and shame. Occasionally, I was drunk, but more truly I was always in pain. I can remember not feeling like I deserved to be with family on Thanksgiving and resenting that no one would rescue me so I could attend. Then, finally, all of that changed. Finally, I listened and heard the voice of something much greater than I.

Today, I am free and I have you folks to thank for it, members of Alcoholics Anonymous. You are all in my thoughts this week and I would wish each of a happy and safe Thanksgiving.

Ron

I know in my head that It's not my fault

what is going on in my life - It's not my fault.

The decisions I am making are consequences of his behaviors

He's hurt, I'm hurt.

It's sad, painful and heartbreaking.

But it's not my fault.

I KNOW this - I offer e,s, & h to many letting them know it's not our fault, it's ok to protect ourselves, to take care of us, . . .

will somebody please tell my heart

As I'm replying to the attorney's email in regards to the situation with the X......he calls, all chipper and happy and with a meager proposition for Thanksgiving. I totally stood up to him, told him I no longer have to suffer the consequences of his choices and that he needs to do the right thing. He wasn't very happy and now I feel guilty. This in regards (by the way to my son spending some of Thanksgiving with me after the X telling me he made plans already, sheesh!!!!!)

I shouldn't feel guilty. I asked this man for YEARS while we were married to find time for us as a family, to PLEASE find a way to spend the holidays with us and for that matter just family time in general.

Now I get this passive aggressive stuff from him "fine, I'll drop him (our son) off Wednesday and get him Sunday!" ME: "Don't you want to take him to your mom's for dinner?" HIM: "What's the point?" ME:"Well, since you just threw it out there that it's so important because this is the first Thanksgiving you have off............" What to do? Ends up the poor guy is working on Thanksgiving anyway.

He's not a horrible guy but I don't think his noggin has always been screwed on properly. Some of his ideas come from way out in left field and then when his mother gets involved??? Forget it, it's a nightmare!!!!! :headbange

I'm sitting here feeling guilty and I shouldn't. What's wrong with me??????

:e076:

Twice already I've tried Suboxone, and both times have been horrible experiences. Yesterday was the most previous time, and now after it not having worked, I'm feeling so hopeless and lost. Any help would be so great...

The first time I took it, it was under the care of a doctor, so I assumed they knew when I was ready to take it. Minutes after taking the pill though (started off with a 2mg), I started feeling even sicker. The weird thing is though, that it wasn't immediate awful horrible withdrawls like they saw will happen if you take the pills too early. After 1/2 hr. I gave up, and got high.

Yesterday, I waited a little longer than the last time, yet still, after taking the pills (4mg, another 4 30 min later), once again, my withdrawls just got worse. A lot worse. After an hour, I took another whole 8mg pill. Yet after 2 1/2 hours, I was still feeling awful. It was the sickest I had ever been, yet still not "horrible, immediate worst withdrawls ever" like they say will happen if you take the pills too soon.

I know this is long... But today I'm feeling so depressed, and hopeless, like when will I ever get clean. Why is taking the suboxone just making things worse? Am I just taking it too early? Yet if I'm taking it too early, shouldn't the consequences (immediate withdrawls) be a lot worse? The first time, I was under the watch of a doctor, so shouldn't they have known when to give it to me?

Any help would be greatly appreciated...

You are reading the daily devotion from NotReligion.

November 14, 2008
Key Passage: Acts 8:14-25

Topic: Sin/Temptation; Pride/Humility

"Repent, therefore, of this wickedness of yours, and pray to the Lord that, if possible, the intent of your heart may be forgiven you" (Acts 8:22, ESV).

So we're all pretty good people--aren't we? If you took a poll today, it would probably show that most of us think we're fairly good--deep down inside.

But that's not really the condition of our hearts.

Now, if we're talking about someone who knows God personally, we know his or her sins have been forgiven, but that doesn't mean this person never does anything wrong. Our hearts are still desperately wicked (Jeremiah 17:9).

With status to gain and people to impress, we can all too easily fall into the trap of selfishness and pride. And it wasn't any different in the Bible. As a magician, Simon was accustomed to accolade and attention, so it's no wonder he was enthralled with the amazing work of the Holy Spirit and the apostles. And he wanted it for himself.

Peter finally called Simon out on it and challenged him to check the intentions of his heart--a bold but necessary move on Peter's part. And like it or not, we all need people like that to keep us on the right track. It's better to be corrected than to fall deeper into sin and its consequences.

Maybe you need to do a heart check today--pull it out, put it on the table and under the microscope. Watch out for selfish intentions or desires for self-promotion--they're common and very attractive.

We have to be on guard so our hearts don't get us running in the wrong direction--just choose God over self and you'll be headed the right way.





NotReligion - Home

Ok - it's official: My formerly ex-AGF is again my AGF. I have a question - because I'm not 100% comfortable with things this time around.

For those of who have been in relationships with someone addicted, for a long time . . .

Is the very fact that I'm in the relationship with them "enabling" them?

I'm trying to make sense of things - but my head spins when I do that.

From everything I've seen & read - it would sound like, yes - right now, I'm not a person she loves; I'm not "helping" her - and if anything, I'm helping her continue down the path she's on.

From everything I've seen & read - if I want her to reach "rock bottom"; if I truly love her - that I'd have to tell her "Honey - I know you're not ready NOW to quit the drugs & as long as you use drugs - and hurt yourself, I can no longer be in your life" - and walk away & hope for the best.

But - it's not that black & white.

Am I wrong to believe that my being in her life can't help her pull herself out of the life she's been living? That our relationship can't be a tool she can use to help her find her way? That gives a little strength? I know SHE has to want to make changes - and then MAKE those changes. But does it REALLY have to happen "alone"?

This is just so complex. I've seen/heard all of the "run. run away fast", "...an addict doesn't love themselves - so they can't possibly love you", and plenty more in some people's comments & in stickies. I think those are all well & good when "we" are suffering & hurting because of something that happened with our addict. But what about when we feel "hope"? When that light is shining on us & our A's? What is the positive way to go about things?

I guess I have a hard time believing that the only road to recovery for an addict is through negative actions & consequences - and that seems to be the theme here. Surely there must be a way through positive change & influence to overcome problems like these - no???

**I'm not trying to be confrontational or rile anyone up by anything I've said. I'm just trying to make sense of my situation...