Archive for the ‘Convulsions’ tag
Fear of Change & Having a social life while sober
Sorry everyone, this is kind of a two-for-one here.
I think one of the biggest blocks to my staying sober (as of a year ago, I have not been able to stay sober longer than two weeks, before that it was much shorter) was fear of having a new life.
I've had one foot in A.A. and the other foot out for the last two years.
I've been too afraid to fully climb aboard A.A. because I feared it would be boring, sterile and bland. I'm afraid of the stigma of being part of a 'cult'.
I don't know how to socialize with people while sober.
I have held back telling my friends (or the ones I have left- who all drink to excess) that I can't go out with them anymore (and to do *anything* with them is to go out and drink). The rare times I have gone out with them and not drink, they're practically in convulsions by the end because they're jonesing to go to a bar.
I can't go on Myspace or Facebook anymore because everyone of my friend's status says something to the extent of 'I'm going out to a bar'. Sometimes just even seeing these people faces makes me want to drink because of the association.
I live in a town where pretty much the only fun for people is go out to a bar.
Even during the monthly Art Walk (where you get to go to all the Museum's in the city for free) there is complimentary wine (my drink of choice) EVERYWHERE.
It seems with everything that's fun to do here, there is some element of alcohol present. Nice restaurant? = HUGE wine list!
And I have not yet mastered being able to go to a bar or other situation where there is drinking and not drink. I've tried and I've done it before but I usually end up being bored, having a panic attack or giving in to the first drink.
But I need to socialize!
The only other option is to completely surrender myself to A.A.
I have issues with going to meetings all the time. I have issues with going to the meetings at night because I feel really amped up afterwards and can;t sleep from the coffee or have alot of my mind. Many of the night meetings are in area's I don't feel safe or have alot of horny young guys which I find irritating and distracting and they seem to be the only ones who will talk to me!
The morning and afternoon meetings are great, but by the time evening rolls around, I'm bored and I simply forget that I'm trying to quit drinking.
I know what the answer to this is, is to call people in A.A. and see if they want to do something, but it's been alot of my experience that they're too busy or untrusting of me because I can't seem to get thirty days together.
I lost a dear friend in A.A. over my constant relapses, and there seems to be this wariness of newcomer's, though I totally understand.
I can't just sit at home alone in front of my computer every night.
Does anyone have any suggestions for what they did for fun in early sobriety?
Thanks alot!
I think one of the biggest blocks to my staying sober (as of a year ago, I have not been able to stay sober longer than two weeks, before that it was much shorter) was fear of having a new life.
I've had one foot in A.A. and the other foot out for the last two years.
I've been too afraid to fully climb aboard A.A. because I feared it would be boring, sterile and bland. I'm afraid of the stigma of being part of a 'cult'.
I don't know how to socialize with people while sober.
I have held back telling my friends (or the ones I have left- who all drink to excess) that I can't go out with them anymore (and to do *anything* with them is to go out and drink). The rare times I have gone out with them and not drink, they're practically in convulsions by the end because they're jonesing to go to a bar.
I can't go on Myspace or Facebook anymore because everyone of my friend's status says something to the extent of 'I'm going out to a bar'. Sometimes just even seeing these people faces makes me want to drink because of the association.
I live in a town where pretty much the only fun for people is go out to a bar.
Even during the monthly Art Walk (where you get to go to all the Museum's in the city for free) there is complimentary wine (my drink of choice) EVERYWHERE.
It seems with everything that's fun to do here, there is some element of alcohol present. Nice restaurant? = HUGE wine list!
And I have not yet mastered being able to go to a bar or other situation where there is drinking and not drink. I've tried and I've done it before but I usually end up being bored, having a panic attack or giving in to the first drink.
But I need to socialize!
The only other option is to completely surrender myself to A.A.
I have issues with going to meetings all the time. I have issues with going to the meetings at night because I feel really amped up afterwards and can;t sleep from the coffee or have alot of my mind. Many of the night meetings are in area's I don't feel safe or have alot of horny young guys which I find irritating and distracting and they seem to be the only ones who will talk to me!
The morning and afternoon meetings are great, but by the time evening rolls around, I'm bored and I simply forget that I'm trying to quit drinking.
I know what the answer to this is, is to call people in A.A. and see if they want to do something, but it's been alot of my experience that they're too busy or untrusting of me because I can't seem to get thirty days together.
I lost a dear friend in A.A. over my constant relapses, and there seems to be this wariness of newcomer's, though I totally understand.
I can't just sit at home alone in front of my computer every night.
Does anyone have any suggestions for what they did for fun in early sobriety?
Thanks alot!
I gotta do this-i have a really bad feeling this time
Well, just a little about me-27 started drinking hard bout the beginning of college around 19/20. Do the usual thing I guess which was binge thursday,friday,sat. Sober up sunday, monday -go to class get my work done then repeat. Since I graduated and have moved on doing a similar type schedule though the last few years i drink alone a lot. I've always been that guy who is fun to drink with to a point then I blackout-like I've always blacked out-just figured that was my thing-not a big puker-then somehow i stay up the latest often drinking through the night into the next day. I make a a goal to at least go to the gym 3/4 times a week (usually, can be inconsistent, depending on when i drink), so I usually stay away from drinking for about 4 days while doing that then ill fall into a 2/3 day binge.
just recently I binged by myself the whole time for 4 days Sat night to sometime early wednesday morning. not quite sure exactly when i stopped nor do i remember much of any of the time between besides a few here and there's. This is where I'm concerned. I've been reading up on my withdrawal symptoms and am worried. I experience the stuff like weird sleeping patterns/insomnia, lack of energy, some numbness and "tingling" throughout my body, random muscle convulsions in different places where it looks like theres like like something beating under certain areas, um, heart palpitations, and I finding myself taking lots of deep breathes with a lot of pressure in my mid back -like the area where the heart would be-feels like I always need to crack it. Usually after like a few days of the lessening of these symptoms im back to normal-going to the gym feeling pretty good. I do usually 15-20 minutes of pretty extreme cardio fitness after lifting weights when i go. Usually feel fine, tho see my pulse can get way up to about 180 sometimes , i do go very hard though cardio wise for shorter periods of time, pushing myself. I also think my normal resting pace is usually only around 48-55 which i know is very low.
just the combination of all these things and reading about things has given myself some very real and scary thoughts. From what ive experienced i think i might have some type of form of alcoholic cardiomyopathy. Anyways I just wanted to see if anyone has been a victim of certain symptoms and just let people know I've really acknowledged my problem and want to do something about it. Im going to seriously look to stop drinking completely for awhile and see how i feel, and hopefully permanently after that. These symptoms have been around for quite some time obviously to different affects depending if i have just like a one night binger or it goes on for 2/3 days, and im tired of them and dont want to live like this anymore. thanks for listening.
just recently I binged by myself the whole time for 4 days Sat night to sometime early wednesday morning. not quite sure exactly when i stopped nor do i remember much of any of the time between besides a few here and there's. This is where I'm concerned. I've been reading up on my withdrawal symptoms and am worried. I experience the stuff like weird sleeping patterns/insomnia, lack of energy, some numbness and "tingling" throughout my body, random muscle convulsions in different places where it looks like theres like like something beating under certain areas, um, heart palpitations, and I finding myself taking lots of deep breathes with a lot of pressure in my mid back -like the area where the heart would be-feels like I always need to crack it. Usually after like a few days of the lessening of these symptoms im back to normal-going to the gym feeling pretty good. I do usually 15-20 minutes of pretty extreme cardio fitness after lifting weights when i go. Usually feel fine, tho see my pulse can get way up to about 180 sometimes , i do go very hard though cardio wise for shorter periods of time, pushing myself. I also think my normal resting pace is usually only around 48-55 which i know is very low.
just the combination of all these things and reading about things has given myself some very real and scary thoughts. From what ive experienced i think i might have some type of form of alcoholic cardiomyopathy. Anyways I just wanted to see if anyone has been a victim of certain symptoms and just let people know I've really acknowledged my problem and want to do something about it. Im going to seriously look to stop drinking completely for awhile and see how i feel, and hopefully permanently after that. These symptoms have been around for quite some time obviously to different affects depending if i have just like a one night binger or it goes on for 2/3 days, and im tired of them and dont want to live like this anymore. thanks for listening.
cold turkey
at what point should you not quit drinking cold turkey. Been drinking again and don't want to go into convulsions. I know the fear of quitting is the more a problem than the actual act. I live alone so am afraid.
Not my first rodeo…
First post...
Been drinking pretty heavy for 16 years on and off. Like many of you I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight (vodka gatorade's a plenty), 2 arrests on dui charges, lost opportunies with women and possible job advancement, job loss in general, shame, loss of weight due to malnurishment, sweats, shakes, convulsions, depression, money problems.....so on so on......you all know the story. My costs for the neverending benders include: arrests, friendships, girlfriends, scars from fighting, missed appointments, and the worst.....depression and feelings of worthlessness.
The last bender I was on was an 8 day alcohol diet, I missed appointments at work, ruined my relationship with the girl I was dating, lied constantly, passed out 2-3 times a day, and the icing on the cake, smacked the back right of my company car into the side of my garage while in a blackout. That alone could have cost me BIG TIME! The depression and withdrawals I went through following that bender were wicked; sweats, shakes, anxiety, clammy skin, insomnia, nerves shot......
I decided after the last one I would be done with booze, that was over a month ago. I have read many of your posts and I am glad this site is here. That is all for now....just felt like joining this group of people who are like me in knowing we are not good drinkers.
Been drinking pretty heavy for 16 years on and off. Like many of you I used to just get hammered on the weekends and laugh at all the crazy blackouts and craziness my friends and I would end up creating. Normal weekend in college was starting friday night and partying saturday night as well, recover sunday and back to life monday.
As I got older and out in the real world things began to slowly change...now when I would drink it would usually be a situation where I would guzzle like a mad man for 2-3 days straight, and then stop and deal with 2-3 days of suffering coming down from the booze.
Now, years later my last few bad benders have included doing nothing but drink for 7-12 days straight (vodka gatorade's a plenty), 2 arrests on dui charges, lost opportunies with women and possible job advancement, job loss in general, shame, loss of weight due to malnurishment, sweats, shakes, convulsions, depression, money problems.....so on so on......you all know the story. My costs for the neverending benders include: arrests, friendships, girlfriends, scars from fighting, missed appointments, and the worst.....depression and feelings of worthlessness.
The last bender I was on was an 8 day alcohol diet, I missed appointments at work, ruined my relationship with the girl I was dating, lied constantly, passed out 2-3 times a day, and the icing on the cake, smacked the back right of my company car into the side of my garage while in a blackout. That alone could have cost me BIG TIME! The depression and withdrawals I went through following that bender were wicked; sweats, shakes, anxiety, clammy skin, insomnia, nerves shot......
I decided after the last one I would be done with booze, that was over a month ago. I have read many of your posts and I am glad this site is here. That is all for now....just felt like joining this group of people who are like me in knowing we are not good drinkers.
