Archive for the ‘Cook Dinner’ tag
Just found out…
Hi all, I'm new here. I just found out last week that my boyfriend of 18 years and father of my children, has been taking cocaine for over a year. I asked him to leave over a month ago as his behaviour was becoming intolerable, not knowing that he had this addiction. Things have been strained between us for some time as I had to return to work 3 years ago when he couldn't (or wouldn't) find work. I have been becoming increasingly fed up at doing a days work and then coming home to pick the kids up from school, cook dinner, wash clothes, clean etc... He couldn't seem to understand why I was so fed up and why I didn't want to be intimate with him as much as he wanted. He has done some private work which I needed to pay the mortgage as the tenant in our other flat was not paying the rent. He kept telling me that he hadn't been paid for these jobs and made a big show of making phone calls (which I now know were all an act) to ask for the money. Over the last few months he has also been draining money out of our bank account, including using money set aside for my boys' birthday presents. We are now in the position that I am so far behind on the mortgage that we may lose both of our apartments. I'm trying to sell the one we don't live in but it's very difficult at the moment.
I'm finding it very hard to deal with all the lies that he has told me and that he could be so irresponsible to let it get to a point that our children could be made homeless. He is now trying to make me feel that this is all my fault. He has told me today that it's my fault that he started taking cocaine (he has always smoked marijuana-something that I also did in my youth but stopped 14 years ago). I feel so cheated and betrayed right now and feel like I am slipping into a deep pit of depression, I feel that the last 18 years have been nothing but lies and don't know how to separate lies from truth. I want to try to be supportive but, I can't bear to even look at him at the moment. He's not the person that I thought he was and I feel cheated of a partner and friend as well as a father for my children. I don't know how to deal with all of this. I have some good friends around me but I have no family here and I don't think they would be very understanding anyway. Everything I've worked for seems to be crumbling away through no fault of my own and yet, he's trying to burden me with the guilt. Is this usual for an addict to blame someone else for their own weakness or do I need to shoulder some of the blame? My friends tell me that I have nothing to feel bad about but, are they just saying that because they are my friends?
Thanks for listening.
I'm finding it very hard to deal with all the lies that he has told me and that he could be so irresponsible to let it get to a point that our children could be made homeless. He is now trying to make me feel that this is all my fault. He has told me today that it's my fault that he started taking cocaine (he has always smoked marijuana-something that I also did in my youth but stopped 14 years ago). I feel so cheated and betrayed right now and feel like I am slipping into a deep pit of depression, I feel that the last 18 years have been nothing but lies and don't know how to separate lies from truth. I want to try to be supportive but, I can't bear to even look at him at the moment. He's not the person that I thought he was and I feel cheated of a partner and friend as well as a father for my children. I don't know how to deal with all of this. I have some good friends around me but I have no family here and I don't think they would be very understanding anyway. Everything I've worked for seems to be crumbling away through no fault of my own and yet, he's trying to burden me with the guilt. Is this usual for an addict to blame someone else for their own weakness or do I need to shoulder some of the blame? My friends tell me that I have nothing to feel bad about but, are they just saying that because they are my friends?
Thanks for listening.
