Archive for the ‘Couple Hours’ tag
Dealing with death today
A very close friend of mine died last night. He was a member of my other family, my AA family. In some ways those people are closer than my blood family. He was sober longer than I've been alive, and has helped me tremendously. I just found out a couple hours ago at a meeting, and I'm just feeling numb. I thought I'd come here to vent a bit, and maybe get some perspective on the whole thing. I don't really know what I want. I just know I don't want to get high. I feel a duty to carry on the good work he has done for so many others, and the many lessons he taught me. I'll be at meeting all night but I'll be checking in when I'm home. God bless.
Being a friend or taking a step back?
Hey everyone,
It's been awhile since I finally broke up with my RAB. It was tough but I finally managed to see the light six months ago with SoberRecovery and moved on with my life. We both agreed to continue to be friends and he ended up moving a couple hours away, which definitely helped with the healing process for me.
As much as I didn't want to be his friend on Facebook, I eventually gave in, accepted him as a friend and was able to see what he had been up to. It was really hard to see how he had easily moved on with his life while I was still coping. We kept in touch for a couple months before he started acting differently and I stopped hearing from him for awhile. Eventually, he sent me a horrible email in response to mine that was just asking how he was doing. I was just angry and never responded back. Yesterday, I get a notification someone had tagged him in photos, which I opened up and was surprised by. Well, he's with a new girl, he's drunk in the photos (we all know when our man is drunk), and there are a couple of pictures where he's holding a beer.
Now, it's been awhile since I've had to deal with all this stuff and I just need some confirmation because I'm not sure which route to go. He's only been sober since March and I know he shouldn't be dating or obviously drinking. As a friend, I am concerned he's going to ruin everything around him again. Do I email him that I am concerned and he can call if he wants to talk about some of the stress in his life? Or do I just look the other way and hope for the best? I don't want to walk down the codependancy road again but I'm not sure if this counts.
The more I type, the more I realize I might know the answer but I would still love to hear your opinion.
Thanks :)
It's been awhile since I finally broke up with my RAB. It was tough but I finally managed to see the light six months ago with SoberRecovery and moved on with my life. We both agreed to continue to be friends and he ended up moving a couple hours away, which definitely helped with the healing process for me.
As much as I didn't want to be his friend on Facebook, I eventually gave in, accepted him as a friend and was able to see what he had been up to. It was really hard to see how he had easily moved on with his life while I was still coping. We kept in touch for a couple months before he started acting differently and I stopped hearing from him for awhile. Eventually, he sent me a horrible email in response to mine that was just asking how he was doing. I was just angry and never responded back. Yesterday, I get a notification someone had tagged him in photos, which I opened up and was surprised by. Well, he's with a new girl, he's drunk in the photos (we all know when our man is drunk), and there are a couple of pictures where he's holding a beer.
Now, it's been awhile since I've had to deal with all this stuff and I just need some confirmation because I'm not sure which route to go. He's only been sober since March and I know he shouldn't be dating or obviously drinking. As a friend, I am concerned he's going to ruin everything around him again. Do I email him that I am concerned and he can call if he wants to talk about some of the stress in his life? Or do I just look the other way and hope for the best? I don't want to walk down the codependancy road again but I'm not sure if this counts.
The more I type, the more I realize I might know the answer but I would still love to hear your opinion.
Thanks :)
Did he even stop, I wonder…..
Two months and nine days ago my husband stopped drinking. He went to two aa meetings and was not interested in going to them. I figured I would be a bit controlling if I insisted and since he was not drinking I was fine. Not everyone is ment to go to aa or ready to go to aa.
There were a couple times he went out to do stuff and was gone WAY longer than he should have been but when he came home he did not seem like he had been drinking and I could smell nothing on him. So I figure maybe It's a trust issue on my part and let it go.
Saturday night we went to a costume party and he got us drinks. I had an O'Dools and his bottle had no label. I asked him what the deal was and he said it was another non-alcoholic beer. So we are there and I figure why bust him when I was having some fun and I would do it when he got the next one. Well when we got up there for the second one I heard the bartender say he did not have this brand he had claimed he just drank. (how strang) and he ordered a coke.
Yesterday when well and I was getting stuff done and about two I fell asleep on the sofa. (Oops) I woke a couple hours later and the husband was not home. I called his cell and he did not pick up. I called again and still he did not pick up. I tried a third time and he was angry and said he was 20 seconds from the door.
You guessed it. He had been drinking. At first I was so upset that I started to cry (he did not see this) but then I calmed down by reminding my self that he messed up not me. I am doing everything right and he owns this. I detached and went on about my business around the house. He felt I was mad at him and not talking to him. (funny how he always thinks that) See I may not have gone in and sat with him and chatted but I did not stop talking to him. I just didn't react. OK maybe I was a little cold. but I think I had a right to be.
So on the phone today he is huffy and mentions how I was not talking to him last night and I just came out with it and said that I was not happy that he went out. (Like I have to tell him why)
Now this post is about two things. One is that he drank and that is a big deal but the better part of this is I am ok. Two years ago I would be going nuts and crying all day but not now. I can stand up for my self. I can fend for my self and I know that (I) will be fine.
There is part of me that is sad and yet there is a bigger part of me that is so proud of my self. Even with everything that is going on around me and all the things that are so unknown in my future..... I have never felt better about my self than I do now. It's like I know in the end, it's all going to be ok.
I have been to some dark places and made it through to the other side.
D
There were a couple times he went out to do stuff and was gone WAY longer than he should have been but when he came home he did not seem like he had been drinking and I could smell nothing on him. So I figure maybe It's a trust issue on my part and let it go.
Saturday night we went to a costume party and he got us drinks. I had an O'Dools and his bottle had no label. I asked him what the deal was and he said it was another non-alcoholic beer. So we are there and I figure why bust him when I was having some fun and I would do it when he got the next one. Well when we got up there for the second one I heard the bartender say he did not have this brand he had claimed he just drank. (how strang) and he ordered a coke.
Yesterday when well and I was getting stuff done and about two I fell asleep on the sofa. (Oops) I woke a couple hours later and the husband was not home. I called his cell and he did not pick up. I called again and still he did not pick up. I tried a third time and he was angry and said he was 20 seconds from the door.
You guessed it. He had been drinking. At first I was so upset that I started to cry (he did not see this) but then I calmed down by reminding my self that he messed up not me. I am doing everything right and he owns this. I detached and went on about my business around the house. He felt I was mad at him and not talking to him. (funny how he always thinks that) See I may not have gone in and sat with him and chatted but I did not stop talking to him. I just didn't react. OK maybe I was a little cold. but I think I had a right to be.
So on the phone today he is huffy and mentions how I was not talking to him last night and I just came out with it and said that I was not happy that he went out. (Like I have to tell him why)
Now this post is about two things. One is that he drank and that is a big deal but the better part of this is I am ok. Two years ago I would be going nuts and crying all day but not now. I can stand up for my self. I can fend for my self and I know that (I) will be fine.
There is part of me that is sad and yet there is a bigger part of me that is so proud of my self. Even with everything that is going on around me and all the things that are so unknown in my future..... I have never felt better about my self than I do now. It's like I know in the end, it's all going to be ok.
I have been to some dark places and made it through to the other side.
D
Quitting oxycodone
I posted in another part of this site a few days ago. I think my posts belong here :/
I've been using on and off for almost 9 years. This last stretch was a year with percocet. I quit because the side effects were becoming awful for the last 2 months of using. I spoke to a drug counselor and he said I was taking them wrong. So I was taking them, then withdrawing 6 hours later.
I'm 24 days off the pills today. I'm still having mild withdrawals. They started as waves every 7 hours or so, then a couple days ago they just came in slightly less strong, but non stop. A dull dry feeling in my sinuses and upper lungs, on and off dry mouth. A few strong sneezes once in awhile. Still have some insomnia. Usually get a couple hours of light sleep.
My withdrawal symptoms seem different from everyone else's, just from reading here on SR. I am hoping I have not caused some irreversible damage to myself. I saw my doctor and finally told him about my addiction. He told me not likely permanent damage, just to expect a slower recovery because I have used for so long. I am not taking anything but a couple of Tylenol caplets, which practically do nothing. I always drank beer socially, 2 or 3 pints at most, but I don't want to drink while I'm going through this. I really want to clean out my system. But this sobriety thing blows. The pills are gone, whole bottle flushed on the 3rd. I honestly do not ever want to use opiates again. I know it's sounds cliche, but I cant express more how bad I want to get away from this.
On top of the physical part, I seem to be turning inward, displaced, wondering why I am alive. No interest in anything.
I can clearly see what the pills did for me, I feel like I am missing a limb.
I've been using on and off for almost 9 years. This last stretch was a year with percocet. I quit because the side effects were becoming awful for the last 2 months of using. I spoke to a drug counselor and he said I was taking them wrong. So I was taking them, then withdrawing 6 hours later.
I'm 24 days off the pills today. I'm still having mild withdrawals. They started as waves every 7 hours or so, then a couple days ago they just came in slightly less strong, but non stop. A dull dry feeling in my sinuses and upper lungs, on and off dry mouth. A few strong sneezes once in awhile. Still have some insomnia. Usually get a couple hours of light sleep.
My withdrawal symptoms seem different from everyone else's, just from reading here on SR. I am hoping I have not caused some irreversible damage to myself. I saw my doctor and finally told him about my addiction. He told me not likely permanent damage, just to expect a slower recovery because I have used for so long. I am not taking anything but a couple of Tylenol caplets, which practically do nothing. I always drank beer socially, 2 or 3 pints at most, but I don't want to drink while I'm going through this. I really want to clean out my system. But this sobriety thing blows. The pills are gone, whole bottle flushed on the 3rd. I honestly do not ever want to use opiates again. I know it's sounds cliche, but I cant express more how bad I want to get away from this.
On top of the physical part, I seem to be turning inward, displaced, wondering why I am alive. No interest in anything.
I can clearly see what the pills did for me, I feel like I am missing a limb.
blood test
Hello, I have a question. My husband was arrested and had a blood test taken instead of taking a breathalizer. He was then fined several hundred dollars. When I asked him what his alcohol level was he said that they needed to send it to a lab. Is this true, and will we get the results in the mail. How can they fine him if they don't know if he was over the limit. When I did pick him up a couple hours later he did not seem under the influence. Thanks for your thoughts.
Checkin in
Helo to all. THings have been pretty quiet and calm for the most part. Ive filed for Social secrurity disability. They should be making their determinations in the next 2-3 weeks now. Staying home has been driving me batty at times. I put my yurngest son in daycare 3 times a week so he continues to learn and grow. He's just gettin to attached to mom. Its not healthy for him. Or for me. On the days he goes to daycare, I usually sleep for a couple hours in the morning and then start on one of their rooms, cleaning it out, gettin rid of toys and clothes that are no longer needed. I also spend alot of my time going to different doctors during the week. I see a general MD for my anxiety, well being, etc. I see a specialist for my Crohns Disease and another specialist for my kidney stones and failure. I have a 3rd lythotripsy surgery this year on Oct 13th. Not looking forward to it. I talked to my GI specialist and he has decided to not use the miracle Humera drug on me as I have so many complications with my kidneys. Humera depletes the immune system and as I was septic in 2006 and the 3 surgeries this year on kidneys, we have changed the plan. I will be taking immurane, entocort, and MP6 drugs. Im currently eating alot of percocet still. As alot of you know this has been a DOC 4 me. Im not happy about needing it and so far have not abused it. But I can tell the addiction is still there just the same. Its a constant everyday battle that I take them. I like how they make me feel and I can be super mom for a day. But I know i dont need them to be supermom. I am with or with out the pills. At any rate, I take them still as needed only and just to take the edge off. I have a good relationship with my doctors and the trust is completely open. I find that I like that too. I have become an active studier in my own treatment options and we discuss them in our appointment. I do know my body is becoming accustomed to the percocet and I know detoxing is gonna suck but I will do it with the help of my doctors, my sponsor, and my HP.
So today, I am in a good place today.
So today, I am in a good place today.
Love and Recovery
Sorry I need to vent about my SO for a minute and see what advice I can get on here. So this is someone I have been talking to/dating for over a year now. Then she cheated on me in May with my friend and ever since then we have been talking but also open to dating other people. She doesnt tell me if she dates other people and I dont really want to know. I am just trying to get my own life on track and not worry about what she is up to
The reason I am posting this is because she really upset me over the weekend and I wanted nothing more than to go out and drink my sorrows away. What happened was that I became annoyed with her because I havent seen her for a week or two. Every time ive tried to get in touch with her to meet up she is busy with other people/things. So on Friday I text her saying that i wasnt going to chase her around and beg her to hang out. She texts me back a couple hours later and said "dont you ever get sick of your own drama?" Like I am the one being unreasonable just because i want to see her.
I am wondering if this is why recovery programs advise people against being in relationships during early recovery. Should I stop talking to her? Or should I just leave her alone until she makes more of an effort? I miss her if I dont hear from her/see her for a couple days. But its not fun when she acts aloof and acuses me of being a drama queen. HELP! What should i do?
:a043:
The reason I am posting this is because she really upset me over the weekend and I wanted nothing more than to go out and drink my sorrows away. What happened was that I became annoyed with her because I havent seen her for a week or two. Every time ive tried to get in touch with her to meet up she is busy with other people/things. So on Friday I text her saying that i wasnt going to chase her around and beg her to hang out. She texts me back a couple hours later and said "dont you ever get sick of your own drama?" Like I am the one being unreasonable just because i want to see her.
I am wondering if this is why recovery programs advise people against being in relationships during early recovery. Should I stop talking to her? Or should I just leave her alone until she makes more of an effort? I miss her if I dont hear from her/see her for a couple days. But its not fun when she acts aloof and acuses me of being a drama queen. HELP! What should i do?
:a043:
Not doing good
So as you all know, my bf ran out of his meds early. REAL early. He got a few painkillers and drank for the first couple days. Today.....I don't know. When I left him this morning, he was in withdrawals and asked me to go home and take a shower and then come back. I knew where that was headed. He likes to be alone when he doesn't feel good. I can understand that.
Friday night he was asking me if I believed in God. I said, absolutely. He's the one thing that holds me together. I believe very much. And then he said, from watching all of these ghost shows that he believes there is something but he also believes in evolution. I told him, he doesn't have to call it God. Just a higher power. He said, yeah, that makes sense. Well.....lastnight he told me he has been thinking about ending it all a lot lately. I asked, is that why you asked me about God? He said yeah. It makes him feel more comfortable I think knowing there is something else if he does end it.
He is so deeply depressed. He was going through a bunch of old stuff lastnight, showing me his past and how bad he was and I could tell it bothered him. And then he kept telling me how perfect we are together and how nothing in this world is more amazing than what we have. It felt like he was saying goodbye to me. :( I didn't want to let him go.
I've let his mother know because he has lived with them since he went to rehab last year.
I've napped a lot today to keep me from thinking about it. I don't know what to do with myself. I try doing things that I like but I can't. I have no interest in doing anything. It's like I'm sitting here waiting for a text or a call.
The last text he sent me said, " Want to be alone for a couple hours. Please."
He has a shotgun in his bedroom. Told me a few months ago if he was going to do it thats how he would do it - Right this time. He has tried to kill himself several times.
When I came in to his bedroom lastnight, he was laying there on the bed with his dog and he said, " I was just telling her that I would see her in the afterlife." I leaned down to him and he must have been able to tell by my face, he said, don't worry, that's a good thing. I'm not going anywhere.
It's the most horrible feeling sitting here thinking the man you is going to hurt himself and you can't do anything about it. You can't call 911 unless they actually threaten suicide or say something like, " I can't live anymore", ....etc.
So I'm sitting here, unable to eat with knots in my stomach, worrying. I keep trying to take my mind off it, think of something else, watch t.v., etc. Nothing is working. This feeling is too strong. I can feel it literally sucking the life out of me. I need help. Supposed to see a substance abuse counselor this week. I need to get prepared for what lies ahead. Whether it be him going into recovery and what I should expect, him relapsing or him ending it all. I need to get prepared because if I don't, I'm scared of what I would become.
Sorry, I know it's long. Thanks for listening. Just needed to get this out.
Friday night he was asking me if I believed in God. I said, absolutely. He's the one thing that holds me together. I believe very much. And then he said, from watching all of these ghost shows that he believes there is something but he also believes in evolution. I told him, he doesn't have to call it God. Just a higher power. He said, yeah, that makes sense. Well.....lastnight he told me he has been thinking about ending it all a lot lately. I asked, is that why you asked me about God? He said yeah. It makes him feel more comfortable I think knowing there is something else if he does end it.
He is so deeply depressed. He was going through a bunch of old stuff lastnight, showing me his past and how bad he was and I could tell it bothered him. And then he kept telling me how perfect we are together and how nothing in this world is more amazing than what we have. It felt like he was saying goodbye to me. :( I didn't want to let him go.
I've let his mother know because he has lived with them since he went to rehab last year.
I've napped a lot today to keep me from thinking about it. I don't know what to do with myself. I try doing things that I like but I can't. I have no interest in doing anything. It's like I'm sitting here waiting for a text or a call.
The last text he sent me said, " Want to be alone for a couple hours. Please."
He has a shotgun in his bedroom. Told me a few months ago if he was going to do it thats how he would do it - Right this time. He has tried to kill himself several times.
When I came in to his bedroom lastnight, he was laying there on the bed with his dog and he said, " I was just telling her that I would see her in the afterlife." I leaned down to him and he must have been able to tell by my face, he said, don't worry, that's a good thing. I'm not going anywhere.
It's the most horrible feeling sitting here thinking the man you is going to hurt himself and you can't do anything about it. You can't call 911 unless they actually threaten suicide or say something like, " I can't live anymore", ....etc.
So I'm sitting here, unable to eat with knots in my stomach, worrying. I keep trying to take my mind off it, think of something else, watch t.v., etc. Nothing is working. This feeling is too strong. I can feel it literally sucking the life out of me. I need help. Supposed to see a substance abuse counselor this week. I need to get prepared for what lies ahead. Whether it be him going into recovery and what I should expect, him relapsing or him ending it all. I need to get prepared because if I don't, I'm scared of what I would become.
Sorry, I know it's long. Thanks for listening. Just needed to get this out.
I just can’t stop
I have tried to quit so many times that I can't count. I wake up every morning telling myself that I am not going to drink today and by the time lunch gets there I have convinced myself to wait until tomorrow to start again. The longest I have ever made it is 11 days, I think. But this time I can't even get started on day one again. I tried rehab for a week and that gave me a head start and was also when I made it my 11 days.
I am a young guy, 27, and it's not the fear of losing all my friends, most of them aren't really there anymore any way, I just keep telling myself that I will do it later. The problem is I've been saying that for probably 5 years. I get drunk everynight, by myself 95% of the time, and don't really know anything else anymore. I've tried AA and I've never really felt a connection when I go to the meetings. Don't get me wrong the people are great, it just doesn't feel right for me.
I just don't want to drink anymore, but up to this point in my life it has been completely unattainable. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, I just want some help in making it through those first couple hours at home after work tomorrow and then I can bug you all again when that time comes.
I am a young guy, 27, and it's not the fear of losing all my friends, most of them aren't really there anymore any way, I just keep telling myself that I will do it later. The problem is I've been saying that for probably 5 years. I get drunk everynight, by myself 95% of the time, and don't really know anything else anymore. I've tried AA and I've never really felt a connection when I go to the meetings. Don't get me wrong the people are great, it just doesn't feel right for me.
I just don't want to drink anymore, but up to this point in my life it has been completely unattainable. I don't really know what I'm trying to say, I just want some help in making it through those first couple hours at home after work tomorrow and then I can bug you all again when that time comes.
