Archive for the ‘Couples’ tag
sad tonight part two
Hi All,
Well I'm happy my holiday is coming to an end. This was a tuff one but I made it. So i can proudly say i am still 23 months sober. I still have problems with my wife and not going to an alonon meeting but I guess those are the breaks.Someone even offered her to come to a couples meeting and she turned it down. I may be alone at home and that depresses me but i know i have sr and aa and that is all that matters right now.So i want to say thank you to all of you for being here for me.this is a great community.happy holidays to all.:han:Xmasmc
Well I'm happy my holiday is coming to an end. This was a tuff one but I made it. So i can proudly say i am still 23 months sober. I still have problems with my wife and not going to an alonon meeting but I guess those are the breaks.Someone even offered her to come to a couples meeting and she turned it down. I may be alone at home and that depresses me but i know i have sr and aa and that is all that matters right now.So i want to say thank you to all of you for being here for me.this is a great community.happy holidays to all.:han:Xmasmc
Can i carry on this relationship…….
I was just wondering if anyone here has seen other men whilst still in a relationship with an ABF/H???
I ask because i have been with my bf for 8yrs, 4yrs have involved serious depression, self harm and alcoholism, which came to a head in January this year and i left to live with my mum.
He is now in stable employment for 4wks now and has kept his drinking to a minimum.
But i still am not sure how i feel about our whole relationship, its not how it should be, full of love, closeness and passion. Its been like this for years now.
I can count on one hand how many times we have slept together and it doesnt bother me.
I do love him and he is a good looking guy but theres something stopping me from doing all the normal stuff couples do.
He on the other hand wants the intamcy back but understands i dont want to be pressured into anything.
Now the point im getting at, on friday night i was outrageously flirty with a guy on a works night out, we work together in my local hospital. im a nurse hes a doctor, single and extremely good looking.
Ive always had a bit of a soft spot for him but i didnt think id go this far.
We kissed and i went back to his flat for a bit more, not sex though.
I cant see it going any futher but i wont be seeing him until tomorrow and its gonna be so awkward.
Am i out of order or do you think i did this for a reason?
Im so confused and i feel terrible but i actually enjoyed being kissed and held by another guy.
I welcome any advice and i dont mind you being truthful
I think its because maybe i wanted to try being with someone new, to see how it made me feel and it felt good.
sam.x
I ask because i have been with my bf for 8yrs, 4yrs have involved serious depression, self harm and alcoholism, which came to a head in January this year and i left to live with my mum.
He is now in stable employment for 4wks now and has kept his drinking to a minimum.
But i still am not sure how i feel about our whole relationship, its not how it should be, full of love, closeness and passion. Its been like this for years now.
I can count on one hand how many times we have slept together and it doesnt bother me.
I do love him and he is a good looking guy but theres something stopping me from doing all the normal stuff couples do.
He on the other hand wants the intamcy back but understands i dont want to be pressured into anything.
Now the point im getting at, on friday night i was outrageously flirty with a guy on a works night out, we work together in my local hospital. im a nurse hes a doctor, single and extremely good looking.
Ive always had a bit of a soft spot for him but i didnt think id go this far.
We kissed and i went back to his flat for a bit more, not sex though.
I cant see it going any futher but i wont be seeing him until tomorrow and its gonna be so awkward.
Am i out of order or do you think i did this for a reason?
Im so confused and i feel terrible but i actually enjoyed being kissed and held by another guy.
I welcome any advice and i dont mind you being truthful
I think its because maybe i wanted to try being with someone new, to see how it made me feel and it felt good.
sam.x
Where he is and where I am
My alcoholic husband has now been dry for 5 weeks. He has not accessed other support or recovery programs (besides couples counselling) so the alcoholic mindset and knee jerk behaviours are still there. On the positive side, he is doing a good job of keeping his anger inside and not yelling. I'm still getting emotionally abused through criticisms but it isn't the nutty, chaotic behaviour of an alcoholic.
I have been going to Al-Anon for 5 weeks and I've had the most amazing insights. 15 years of therapy make sense to me now. To make it explicit I know that his drinking and all that follows is not all about me but about him reacting to the way he has been raised. Even his sober behaviour is a product of the negativity in early life.
Same goes with me. My knee-jerk reactions are a product of my upbringing. With that knowledge I have found it actually easy (and I never thought it could ever be) to tune him out and detach with love. I don't need to bite my tongue and inwardly seethe. I feel a lot of compassion for him. For 5 weeks I have not had my anger spill out at the kids and I have been very patient. Yes, I get annoyed when things go wrong but then I think "What can I do differently?" and if there is nothing, then I accept.
So why am I writing? I feel good and bad at the same time. I feel good that I am no longer angry and bitter. I feel good that he is dry. I feel good that the children are in a better family home. I feel good that he is making a committment to go to counselling. I feel bad about the past behaviour I was willing to accept. Things were particularly nutty three years ago on both sides. Him drinking heavily, my shrieking and hysteria. I feel ashamed and guilt ridden about what my first child has seen when she was an infant. (I thought that it wasn't affecting her because she was too young to understand).
Nowadays, I feel sadness that I suspect my union with my husband will never progress beyond what it is now. It is unhappy but my thinking right now is that the children are too young (3 and 1) to be bounced around two households if there is no active alcoholism. Do I have to have a perfect marriage? I now think that word 'perfect' is alcoholic thinking. The all or nothing mentality.
My boundaries are as follows: no alcohol in the house and I never want to see him drunk again. I know he thinks it is about manipulation and control but I have put these in place for the children's protection and my sanity. If he crosses the boundary I will leave the marriage. Once again this is not a threat or an ultimatum. It simply is that I never want to see him drunk again. With the support of al-anon I think I can handle the marriage. However even if he stays a dry drunk, if I feel like I am losing my grip on my sanity, I will leave.
I have been going to Al-Anon for 5 weeks and I've had the most amazing insights. 15 years of therapy make sense to me now. To make it explicit I know that his drinking and all that follows is not all about me but about him reacting to the way he has been raised. Even his sober behaviour is a product of the negativity in early life.
Same goes with me. My knee-jerk reactions are a product of my upbringing. With that knowledge I have found it actually easy (and I never thought it could ever be) to tune him out and detach with love. I don't need to bite my tongue and inwardly seethe. I feel a lot of compassion for him. For 5 weeks I have not had my anger spill out at the kids and I have been very patient. Yes, I get annoyed when things go wrong but then I think "What can I do differently?" and if there is nothing, then I accept.
So why am I writing? I feel good and bad at the same time. I feel good that I am no longer angry and bitter. I feel good that he is dry. I feel good that the children are in a better family home. I feel good that he is making a committment to go to counselling. I feel bad about the past behaviour I was willing to accept. Things were particularly nutty three years ago on both sides. Him drinking heavily, my shrieking and hysteria. I feel ashamed and guilt ridden about what my first child has seen when she was an infant. (I thought that it wasn't affecting her because she was too young to understand).
Nowadays, I feel sadness that I suspect my union with my husband will never progress beyond what it is now. It is unhappy but my thinking right now is that the children are too young (3 and 1) to be bounced around two households if there is no active alcoholism. Do I have to have a perfect marriage? I now think that word 'perfect' is alcoholic thinking. The all or nothing mentality.
My boundaries are as follows: no alcohol in the house and I never want to see him drunk again. I know he thinks it is about manipulation and control but I have put these in place for the children's protection and my sanity. If he crosses the boundary I will leave the marriage. Once again this is not a threat or an ultimatum. It simply is that I never want to see him drunk again. With the support of al-anon I think I can handle the marriage. However even if he stays a dry drunk, if I feel like I am losing my grip on my sanity, I will leave.
the usual, frustrated,scared, stupid
well, here i go again. first, I finally refound my log in LOL *sigh*
well AH has been clean for 2 years, and seems so funny, NOW he wants to work on our relationship as I am ready to walk out the door. He always wants List. make a list of what you want, what I can do,list list list. I told him i want him to listen, and to show actions. since I have not given him a "list" he days he does not know what I want.
i am so fed up. we even tried for a few months to get pregnant, again i felt alone, as he took no intrest in the planning and temping and test, just when. Like now that he was "ready:" but he did not want to help.
then I have just found out, 6 couples I knew from area meetings were all getting divorced, or had gotten divorced. Scary. especially since they were the ones I knew.. we had a very small group.
i am si frustrated, I feel like giving up.i feel like i tried for SO many years, and now that he is clean, now he wants me to retry. I feel like HE need to try harder than me, since I tried already, through the recoveries, and rehabs. he says that is not fair. I am not asking for true fairness, that I take up 8-10 years of screwing up our lives. I feel that he needs to put in more effort than me. I know that seems wrong, but I feel so frustrated, that he thinks since he is now "ready" that it should be no problem. I could have tricked him, but i was honest and tried to work with him when he was active in his addiction.
maybe it is too late. If I give him a 'list' he will only end up reesenting me, and not chaning becuase he wants to, but because i demanded it.
man oh man.. this royally bites!!!! :a043:
well AH has been clean for 2 years, and seems so funny, NOW he wants to work on our relationship as I am ready to walk out the door. He always wants List. make a list of what you want, what I can do,list list list. I told him i want him to listen, and to show actions. since I have not given him a "list" he days he does not know what I want.
i am so fed up. we even tried for a few months to get pregnant, again i felt alone, as he took no intrest in the planning and temping and test, just when. Like now that he was "ready:" but he did not want to help.
then I have just found out, 6 couples I knew from area meetings were all getting divorced, or had gotten divorced. Scary. especially since they were the ones I knew.. we had a very small group.
i am si frustrated, I feel like giving up.i feel like i tried for SO many years, and now that he is clean, now he wants me to retry. I feel like HE need to try harder than me, since I tried already, through the recoveries, and rehabs. he says that is not fair. I am not asking for true fairness, that I take up 8-10 years of screwing up our lives. I feel that he needs to put in more effort than me. I know that seems wrong, but I feel so frustrated, that he thinks since he is now "ready" that it should be no problem. I could have tricked him, but i was honest and tried to work with him when he was active in his addiction.
maybe it is too late. If I give him a 'list' he will only end up reesenting me, and not chaning becuase he wants to, but because i demanded it.
man oh man.. this royally bites!!!! :a043:
When and How????
So, I am moving forward but I don't really quite know how I am surviving, frankly. Thank god for my therapist, but I am still not doing well. I finally escaped the insanity of addiction and all of the chaos and lack of trust, love, confidence that goes along with it and I am alone. Totally, alone. When do I start to find peace? How do I face being here by myself? Maybe I am just having a pity party, but I don't think I am going to make it through this. What's the point?
I went to a meeting last week. Good to know there are others out there like me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I went out today to do some errands, etc. and couldn't stand it. I was alone. Everywhere I looked were couples and families. Mom's and daughters. Dad's and babies. The holidays are coming and I can't barely get through "regular" days.... How do I do this.
I know intellectually that it would have been wrong to stay in a dead marriage and to be in the midst of all the chaos and "drug induced nonsense".... but at least I wouldn't be alone. I would have my kids with me. I am taking some action with a lawyer to try to "force" some time with my kids.... amazing to me that the kids are with him and all that pain that is happening in my world is because of that fool.
God, someone talk to me. I need to stop crying and get it together.
I went to a meeting last week. Good to know there are others out there like me, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. I went out today to do some errands, etc. and couldn't stand it. I was alone. Everywhere I looked were couples and families. Mom's and daughters. Dad's and babies. The holidays are coming and I can't barely get through "regular" days.... How do I do this.
I know intellectually that it would have been wrong to stay in a dead marriage and to be in the midst of all the chaos and "drug induced nonsense".... but at least I wouldn't be alone. I would have my kids with me. I am taking some action with a lawyer to try to "force" some time with my kids.... amazing to me that the kids are with him and all that pain that is happening in my world is because of that fool.
God, someone talk to me. I need to stop crying and get it together.
Healing from “Abuse”
Givelove's Thread really set the wheels in my head turning, great thread, thanks everyone for participating
I started thinking (hush I know that's dangerous haha) but I remembered when I got sober in 92' the first day I got sober my "co" and I went to couples counseling.
This was back when I was a "straight alkie" I was quite literally a sociopath with no concept of my impact on those around me. I was and had been "The Designated Patient" she had been horrifically mean to me, but since I got drunk nearly every night she went to work, and was frequently unfaithful I "deserved" this punishment.
So we were in therapy, and I was fully prepared to be "the sick one", "take my lumps" and be told "I was the bad guy" and it was "all my fault"
The therapist had a different agenda however, she asked a lot of questions, and "M" ended up telling this story about a Dog she had, this dog wouldn't "mind" her and "do what it was told" she ended up tying the dog up with a one foot leash and beating it with a two by four, describing hitting it again and again as hard as she could with this piece of wood.
I, once again, was prepared for this to be "all my fault" and "be the bad guy" so the therapist started asking me questions, and within 5 minutes I was crying and raging, she managed to bring out rage and despair that I never realized was there, sobbing and crying, "I am that Dog, she DOES beat me like that, that's EXACTLY how I feel."
OK...now...
That story has nothing to do with my last relationship, but it introduced:
"THE DOG"
Today I started thinking about that Dog, at what point is that Dog allowed to "bite back"? What should "The Dog" do to take care of itself and this quote keeps going through my mind.
So I started thinking about that statement
Emotional reactions in self-defense to an abusive situation do NOT make YOU an "abuser"
Where do I draw the line?
to continue "The Dog" allegory, I came up with this
If the Dog needed to bite in order to get away, biting was acceptable, but the healthy thing for the Dog to do IS to get away.
By staying in a relationship with someone who's behaviors exactly matched Physical & Emotional Abuse Forum: Some traits of emotional abusers... - DailyStrengthEventually I started "biting back" but every time I would "run away from Home" to get away, she would lure me back with "Doggy treats" whereupon she would "beat me some more"
Here's the important part for me.
It got to every time she would even raise her hand, I would "bite her"
I had "gone mean" we have all seen it, the Dog that's beaten so much it starts biting everyone.
I figuratively have been "standing outside her house barking at her" since I left.
Even after I "ran away" a few weeks ago, I was still "head shy", barking at everyone who walked by, and potentially a disaster if I were to start seeing someone before I healed, because I'm still "mean" and 'head shy" and if she "raises her hand" I'm going to "bite her" in order to "protect myself."
After I initially broke up with her, I had found that article about abuse and "called her" on it, then of course she "got pregnant" and we got back together, but the time on the "wheel" posted by Givelove was under two weeks and I walked away listening to:
Then after I left I got:
but I'm done now you know?
you know that old saying "that dawg won't hunt" when describing something that won't work as described?
that's right, this "Dawgs" done a huntin
Anyhow, I hope that made sense, I'm onna go wake up "my master" and have him "take me to the beach" where he can "throw the tennis ball" all day and I can play in the waves.
I'm done "biting people" "barking at houses" and growling at people if they get to close.
I'm a Black Lab I decided, they are stupid and smart, and graceful and clumsy, all at the same time, they are also the friendliest dogs ever if you treat them right, you rarely see a mean Lab, but they will bite if pushed into a corner hard enough. I'm done being a "junkyard dog" that just barks at people just because they walk by.
So here's the question:
What kind of Dog are you and how are you going to care for that thar dawg?
I started thinking (hush I know that's dangerous haha) but I remembered when I got sober in 92' the first day I got sober my "co" and I went to couples counseling.
This was back when I was a "straight alkie" I was quite literally a sociopath with no concept of my impact on those around me. I was and had been "The Designated Patient" she had been horrifically mean to me, but since I got drunk nearly every night she went to work, and was frequently unfaithful I "deserved" this punishment.
So we were in therapy, and I was fully prepared to be "the sick one", "take my lumps" and be told "I was the bad guy" and it was "all my fault"
The therapist had a different agenda however, she asked a lot of questions, and "M" ended up telling this story about a Dog she had, this dog wouldn't "mind" her and "do what it was told" she ended up tying the dog up with a one foot leash and beating it with a two by four, describing hitting it again and again as hard as she could with this piece of wood.
I, once again, was prepared for this to be "all my fault" and "be the bad guy" so the therapist started asking me questions, and within 5 minutes I was crying and raging, she managed to bring out rage and despair that I never realized was there, sobbing and crying, "I am that Dog, she DOES beat me like that, that's EXACTLY how I feel."
OK...now...
That story has nothing to do with my last relationship, but it introduced:
"THE DOG"
Today I started thinking about that Dog, at what point is that Dog allowed to "bite back"? What should "The Dog" do to take care of itself and this quote keeps going through my mind.
Quote:
|
As part of this "control" technique, the abuser may "set up" his partner, pushing as many buttons as possible to get the partner to lose control by breaking down in tears or getting angry or yelling. If you raise your voice, he will insist that YOU are the abuser. Don't buy it, and don't believe it. While there might be better ways to handle the situation, (more easily enacted if you weren't emotionally involved with this person), chances are that he has inflicted so much psychological warfare that you have been backed into an emotional corner, and are reacting in self-defense. Emotional reactions in self-defense to an abusive situation do NOT make YOU an "abuser". |
Emotional reactions in self-defense to an abusive situation do NOT make YOU an "abuser"
Where do I draw the line?
to continue "The Dog" allegory, I came up with this
If the Dog needed to bite in order to get away, biting was acceptable, but the healthy thing for the Dog to do IS to get away.
By staying in a relationship with someone who's behaviors exactly matched Physical & Emotional Abuse Forum: Some traits of emotional abusers... - DailyStrengthEventually I started "biting back" but every time I would "run away from Home" to get away, she would lure me back with "Doggy treats" whereupon she would "beat me some more"
Here's the important part for me.
It got to every time she would even raise her hand, I would "bite her"
I had "gone mean" we have all seen it, the Dog that's beaten so much it starts biting everyone.
I figuratively have been "standing outside her house barking at her" since I left.
Even after I "ran away" a few weeks ago, I was still "head shy", barking at everyone who walked by, and potentially a disaster if I were to start seeing someone before I healed, because I'm still "mean" and 'head shy" and if she "raises her hand" I'm going to "bite her" in order to "protect myself."
After I initially broke up with her, I had found that article about abuse and "called her" on it, then of course she "got pregnant" and we got back together, but the time on the "wheel" posted by Givelove was under two weeks and I walked away listening to:
Quote:
|
Emotional abusers deny that they have any problems and/or project their problems onto their partner, often accusing their partners of abuse - especially AFTER the partner has woken up and called the abuser on his behavior. At this point he will be sure to tell as many *mutual* friends as will listen, that she is controlling and abusive to him, in an attempt to further undermine any support she might get. |
Quote:
|
An emotional abuser sees himself as a blameless victim, and denies his own provocative behavior, even going so far as to bemoan the fact that a partner left him, or threw him out, "after all the things I did for her"... The emotional abuser will play up the "pathos" in an attempt to garner sympathy, all the while, continuing to stalk his ex. |
you know that old saying "that dawg won't hunt" when describing something that won't work as described?
that's right, this "Dawgs" done a huntin
Anyhow, I hope that made sense, I'm onna go wake up "my master" and have him "take me to the beach" where he can "throw the tennis ball" all day and I can play in the waves.
I'm done "biting people" "barking at houses" and growling at people if they get to close.
I'm a Black Lab I decided, they are stupid and smart, and graceful and clumsy, all at the same time, they are also the friendliest dogs ever if you treat them right, you rarely see a mean Lab, but they will bite if pushed into a corner hard enough. I'm done being a "junkyard dog" that just barks at people just because they walk by.
So here's the question:
What kind of Dog are you and how are you going to care for that thar dawg?
Confused
Hi,
I am new here, but after reading a few of the threads I feel like I am right at home.
My ASO and I have been separated for 6 weeks now after his drinking got completely out of control and I decided that staying with him is worse than being away...especially for our baby daughter who was surrounded by madness and us arguing every night. Although I still feel very sad at times and miss the good times which were few and far between, our home environment is now normal and I am a better mom to my daughter as I am no longer consumed with her dad's drinking problem all the time.
6 weeks later he drinks even more than he used to when we were together and has also admits to doing cocaine a few times in the last 40 days. He rarely sees our daughter who is now 9 months old. We still keep in touch and I still have feelings for him yet the hope that he will ever recover has slowly started to fade away. He has now admitted to his problem and has made some lame attempts to get better (like going to AA twice in 2 months and coming with me to see my counselor for a couples' session where he admitted to his problem). He also talks about getting better and recoverya all the time, yet he has not made any real steps to get better and there he has not followed up on anything he's said he wants to do to get better. I trully believe he is tired of his way of life, but the fact that he has not done anything about it speaks for itself. I have compassion for him yet I am very angry for having my daughter grow up without the father she deserves because her father "loves her so much and wants to be with her", but somehow never makes it when it comes to coming over and visiting with her. My daughter has been sick the last few days and he has not come to see her once although he asks about her over text messages. His desease has turned him into a selfish disfunctional and weak person who has no control over his own life and it is very sad to watch him slowly kill himself.
My problem is that I do not know where to draw the line. Granted he does not come to see his daughter, should I even respond to his text messages? He asked about her again this morning and then started complaining because he is now starting to feel sick too. He is just hunting for attention again and, ss much as I know about alcoholism, t is still amazing to me how selfish he can be. I responded to his text message and told him our daughter was doing better and that I hope he feels better and left it at that. Should have I done that? Does he deserve to be updated on our daughter's well being granted he rarely comes to see her? And of course, if I do not respond, he will blame me for not seeing her although he knows he is always welcome to stop by and spend time with her as long as he is sober. I am so confused again.
I am new here, but after reading a few of the threads I feel like I am right at home.
My ASO and I have been separated for 6 weeks now after his drinking got completely out of control and I decided that staying with him is worse than being away...especially for our baby daughter who was surrounded by madness and us arguing every night. Although I still feel very sad at times and miss the good times which were few and far between, our home environment is now normal and I am a better mom to my daughter as I am no longer consumed with her dad's drinking problem all the time.
6 weeks later he drinks even more than he used to when we were together and has also admits to doing cocaine a few times in the last 40 days. He rarely sees our daughter who is now 9 months old. We still keep in touch and I still have feelings for him yet the hope that he will ever recover has slowly started to fade away. He has now admitted to his problem and has made some lame attempts to get better (like going to AA twice in 2 months and coming with me to see my counselor for a couples' session where he admitted to his problem). He also talks about getting better and recoverya all the time, yet he has not made any real steps to get better and there he has not followed up on anything he's said he wants to do to get better. I trully believe he is tired of his way of life, but the fact that he has not done anything about it speaks for itself. I have compassion for him yet I am very angry for having my daughter grow up without the father she deserves because her father "loves her so much and wants to be with her", but somehow never makes it when it comes to coming over and visiting with her. My daughter has been sick the last few days and he has not come to see her once although he asks about her over text messages. His desease has turned him into a selfish disfunctional and weak person who has no control over his own life and it is very sad to watch him slowly kill himself.
My problem is that I do not know where to draw the line. Granted he does not come to see his daughter, should I even respond to his text messages? He asked about her again this morning and then started complaining because he is now starting to feel sick too. He is just hunting for attention again and, ss much as I know about alcoholism, t is still amazing to me how selfish he can be. I responded to his text message and told him our daughter was doing better and that I hope he feels better and left it at that. Should have I done that? Does he deserve to be updated on our daughter's well being granted he rarely comes to see her? And of course, if I do not respond, he will blame me for not seeing her although he knows he is always welcome to stop by and spend time with her as long as he is sober. I am so confused again.
New here, my husband is the recoving person but acted like his old self last night
Never posted on a board but our couselor is out of town.
We were to go camping in a our small trailer with 20 other couples 2 hours away. Thursday night i asked if he really wanted to go as i did not and he says lets go it will be fun.
Well friday he does not get home from work till6pm takes two hours for him to load up. While in the shower he asks about food i said i could get something and no answer so i just take that we will eat on the road. Well it is nearly8:30pm and i tell him i really don;t want to go this late. I said i told you last night. Well he flew off the handle and told me you never said that and this and that and i was lying. This is flying off the handle and lying is a behavior he did while drunk. He went on and on how i lie all the time and that he never heard the convsersation and i quoted . Well at this time we both were yelling and i really get upset to be told i was lying. Then e says where is my food. I said you never said you wanted to get it. He says you just sat here while you could have gotten it. Again behavoir of his drinking 6 months ago.
This continues still staying i am lying am making it up like other times and proceeds to tell me i am sick in the head and professional help. LET Me tell you he is the one that also tells me that he says this and that and I know for a fact he never did as that is not my personlity. WEll this continued and he took the trailer and left for the weekend. Driver 2 hours never calling. By the way we have small children that he did not take with him.
My point is i know he was not drunk but his behavoir was that when he was drunk.
Thanks
We were to go camping in a our small trailer with 20 other couples 2 hours away. Thursday night i asked if he really wanted to go as i did not and he says lets go it will be fun.
Well friday he does not get home from work till6pm takes two hours for him to load up. While in the shower he asks about food i said i could get something and no answer so i just take that we will eat on the road. Well it is nearly8:30pm and i tell him i really don;t want to go this late. I said i told you last night. Well he flew off the handle and told me you never said that and this and that and i was lying. This is flying off the handle and lying is a behavior he did while drunk. He went on and on how i lie all the time and that he never heard the convsersation and i quoted . Well at this time we both were yelling and i really get upset to be told i was lying. Then e says where is my food. I said you never said you wanted to get it. He says you just sat here while you could have gotten it. Again behavoir of his drinking 6 months ago.
This continues still staying i am lying am making it up like other times and proceeds to tell me i am sick in the head and professional help. LET Me tell you he is the one that also tells me that he says this and that and I know for a fact he never did as that is not my personlity. WEll this continued and he took the trailer and left for the weekend. Driver 2 hours never calling. By the way we have small children that he did not take with him.
My point is i know he was not drunk but his behavoir was that when he was drunk.
Thanks
